Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: nurbldoff on June 04, 2005, 11:55:01 AM

Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 04, 2005, 11:55:01 AM
Am I the only one who has noticed that Darth Vader was really tall in SW ep. 4-6, while Anakin in ep. 1-3 was merely average heigh (OK, he was a kid in the first ep.)? What does that mean?

What if ep. 1-3 are really an elaborate hoax with the purpose of making us believe that Anakin is Vader, while he's really someone else?

Or perhaps he's just wearing really high heels, I don't know.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 04, 2005, 02:00:16 PM
or perhaps it has something to do with the fact taht in episodes 1-3 he has his own legs on him, and in episodes 4-6 he presumably has some high-test cybernetic legs on him to replace the ones that got burned off in lava at the end of episode 3.

that may have been a spoiler, but I don't care since that was the worst movie I've ever seen anyway.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 04, 2005, 02:07:22 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Today

that may have been a spoiler, but I don't care since that was the worst movie I've ever seen anyway.

8)

:evil:  :evil:  :evil:

WHAT ABOUT STARSHIP TROOPERS 2?!!?!


*uber stab*
Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 04, 2005, 02:26:24 PM
True, true.. that MAY be the explanation. But he would look pretty stupid with legs about a foot taller than they should be, proportionally.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 04, 2005, 02:56:28 PM
Quote from: DiL
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Today

that may have been a spoiler, but I don't care since that was the worst movie I've ever seen anyway.

8)

:evil:  :evil:  :evil:

WHAT ABOUT STARSHIP TROOPERS 2?!!?!


*uber stab*

as much as I almost agre with you, even Starship Troopers 2 was better than the shitpile that George Lucas just foisted on the world.

fuck, man, even Catwoman was better.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: gnimbley on June 04, 2005, 04:09:00 PM
Was it worse than Van Helsing?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 04, 2005, 06:09:40 PM
WAY worse.

worse than 13 going on 30, worse than Contact, worse even than Ishtar.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 04, 2005, 06:26:21 PM
i liekd sw3. :P


adn he got hislegs cut off. when buddy said "i love you" i couldn't help but snicker.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 04, 2005, 06:30:10 PM
I'd like to see an underground fan remix in which they edit out all of hte parts containing either Padme or Anakin.

take that stuff out, and you'd have a pretty damned good short action film.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 04, 2005, 06:47:26 PM
lol.

tjo you have to admit, for thenew trilogy, the comic relif was finally somewhere near theoriginal trilogy's level. in that 3po/r2's bits weren't totally fucking retarded.


the annakin padme shit was total shit. but th eaction, was fuckin great.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 04, 2005, 09:05:15 PM
I don't know, maybe I was just expecting the worst, but I kind of liked ep3. It actually tied in to ep 4-6 in a somewhat interesting way. I mean it's no masterpiece (neither are parts 4-6 for that matter, imho) but compared to 1 and 2 it was good.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 04, 2005, 10:50:32 PM
terminal packet loss (http://www.terminalpacketloss.com/) took the words right out of my mouth when it comes to their take on Ep3.

it bums me out a little...I REALLY tried to like it, but George Lucas really should have just left well enough alone, or gotten a more competent director and some better scriptwriters to tackle the project....then again, perhaps my standards are a little high...Return of the Jedi (I know, it's the worst of the original 3) was the very first movie I EVER saw in the theater, so the first three movies are basically sacred to me.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Donkeyotay on June 04, 2005, 11:38:12 PM
Quote from: improbable certaintylol.

tjo you have to admit, for thenew trilogy, the comic relif was finally somewhere near theoriginal trilogy's level. in that 3po/r2's bits weren't totally fucking retarded.


the annakin padme shit was total shit. but th eaction, was fuckin great.

It needed more sex...He should have included scenes of Luke and Leah's conception...Annakin goin at Padme doggystyle or some shit
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on June 05, 2005, 12:25:10 AM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Todayterminal packet loss (http://www.terminalpacketloss.com/)

That review's kind of dumb. Why do all these libertarian Neo-Con apologists sympathize with Darth Vader and the evil empire? I mean, are they so evil and twisted themselves that they admire a fictional portrayal of a bunch of old, rich, white British men hurtling through space in giant ugly spaceships slaughtering and opressing everyone in their way? It reminds me of liberals who think Nixon and Reagan were cool.

And anyone who says episode III was worse than I and II is fucking lying. It's the difference between The Da Vinci Code and the complete works of Tom Clancy.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 05, 2005, 02:28:41 AM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Today
Quote from: DiL
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Today

that may have been a spoiler, but I don't care since that was the worst movie I've ever seen anyway.

8)

:evil:  :evil:  :evil:

WHAT ABOUT STARSHIP TROOPERS 2?!!?!


*uber stab*

as much as I almost agre with you, even Starship Troopers 2 was better than the shitpile that George Lucas just foisted on the world.

fuck, man, even Catwoman was better.

8)

your lucky i dont know you. such comments would render a beating. starship troopers 2 is the shitest film ever. ever. ever. ever.

they have guns with LED's on for when it fires.

BITS OF PLASTIC WITH LEDS TO REPRESENT FIRING ACTION

and you say this is better than episode 3?

:x  :x  :x  :x  :x  :x  :x

cat women has halle berry in pvc/leather. just use the pause function for a good view.

and episode 3 was not shite

*stab* just wasnt as good as it could have been. but it was not shite
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell on June 05, 2005, 03:39:22 AM
Threatening people online is lame.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 05, 2005, 10:59:52 AM
i'm gonna tear off yer face adn feed it to your dog. then i'm gonna kill yer dog. uglyhead.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: TakeAsNeededForPain on June 06, 2005, 06:14:38 AM
i  thought the movie was pretty terrible, but still better than, say, battlefield earth.  As for the height issue, in the original, vader was played by the same guy who was Julian, the writer's bodyguard in Clockwork Orange (by the by, anyone see the porn version, "a clockwork orgy"?) and in ep 3, they wanted to get a tall actor to be vader, but whatshisname anakin wouldnt let them.  

pshh.  actors.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: gnimbley on June 06, 2005, 02:28:20 PM
Is it better than Glitter, the Mariah Carey movie? How about the
Carebears. It is better than their movie?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 02:30:21 PM
no.

it's even worse than Heaven's Gate.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: LMNO on June 06, 2005, 03:37:26 PM
But is it worse than Gili?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 05:08:26 PM
that's Gigli.

and yes, it is.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 06, 2005, 05:35:35 PM
*angry fist* episode three was not that bad  :evil:
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 05:48:18 PM
if by "not that bad" you mean "was the worst movie ever made in hte history of humanity" then yeah, I agree.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Donkeyotay on June 06, 2005, 09:21:40 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Todayif by "not that bad" you mean "was the worst movie ever made in hte history of humanity" then yeah, I agree.

8)

Haven't you ever seen the Omega Code?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 09:31:43 PM
no.

does Natalie Portman have speaking lines in it?

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: gnimbley on June 06, 2005, 10:07:54 PM
Volgan poetry > Omega Code
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 11:23:39 PM
Vogon poetry also > Episode 3: Revenge of the Shit

but I shall have to check out this Omega Code.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2005, 11:27:16 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Todaythat's Gigli.

and yes, it is.

8)

I call troll.  NOTHING can ever be worse than Gigli.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 06, 2005, 11:30:48 PM
dude...have you SEEN episode 3?

I'm seriously boggled as to how anyone can possibly think that's not the most horrifying cinematic travesty since Bonzo.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 06, 2005, 11:38:44 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Todaydude...have you SEEN episode 3?

I'm seriously boggled as to how anyone can possibly think that's not the most horrifying cinematic travesty since Bonzo.

8)

I'm waiting for DVD.

I heard Jar Jar Binks gets killed, and that alone is worth the price of a rental.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 07, 2005, 12:31:16 AM
you dont get to see jar jar get killed as far as i remember.

and turd ur just unhappy because of the whole middle section. completly forget any scenes involving anakin/padme alone and it improves mucho.

the battle scenes were good, which is what i watch any star wars film for.

also quiet funny watching the jedi get owned. getting shot in the back by storm troopers. lameos
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Ben on June 07, 2005, 01:26:36 AM
I liked SW3.  It had more to admire about it than flaws, though I am a special effects junkie.  Turd is just being a Hotsumian critic.  However, the plot did get a little confusing to me though.  Like, episode 3 is supposed to actually be the prequel to the original star wars.  But there was something about an immortality master coming into play at the end of SW3 and what did immortality have to do with the original trilogy?   And it's been a while since I've seen the original SW trilogy but Luke and Leah were siblings?  I don't remember that.  Weren't they a bit inbred?  Maybe I was just too young or fucked up when I saw the other star wars movies and forgot those parts, but if not, there were some flaws in the plot of SW3.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: gnimbley on June 07, 2005, 02:36:07 AM
Yeah, Luke and Leah were brother and sister. That was "revealed" in
the third movie, Something-or-other of the Jedi.

"Leah, I am your brother."
"Somehow, I've always known that."

One of the worse dramatic scenes on film.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: LMNO on June 07, 2005, 02:11:05 PM
And if i recall, there was a notorious synching problem in that scene, so it looked like a bad Godzilla movie...

Ah, the genius of George Lucas.  :roll:
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 07, 2005, 02:26:35 PM
there's some odd clipping and tearing in the cgi in sw3. as well the stormtroppers move funny in cgi mode, which is odd because the dorids and every other piece of cgi is fanfuckingtastic, including ht ecomplicated bit near the end, which is htebest bit of cgi i've ever seen.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: AFK on June 07, 2005, 03:29:23 PM
Quote from: Bencalypse the middlerI liked SW3.  It had more to admire about it than flaws, though I am a special effects junkie.  Turd is just being a Hotsumian critic.  However, the plot did get a little confusing to me though.  Like, episode 3 is supposed to actually be the prequel to the original star wars.  But there was something about an immortality master coming into play at the end of SW3 and what did immortality have to do with the original trilogy?   And it's been a while since I've seen the original SW trilogy but Luke and Leah were siblings?  I don't remember that.  Weren't they a bit inbred?  Maybe I was just too young or fucked up when I saw the other star wars movies and forgot those parts, but if not, there were some flaws in the plot of SW3.

The immortality master bit was to explain why in the original trilogy Ben Kenobi and Yoda could die but then come back to talk to Luke.  I don't think he really needed to throw that in.  I always assumed it was just some Jedi power Kenobi, Yoda, and Annakin had mastered.  

Star Wars was great but he really soiled his legacy with the prequel Trilogy.  You are always remembered for the last thing you do.  (Do you hear that Sentenced????)  I'll always have a special place in my geek heart for the Star Wars franchise but now when I think of "epic trilogy" Lord of the Rings comes to mind before Star Wars.  Forget about how they deviate from the books but as just pure movies LOTR were much better made than the prequel Star Wars for sure and I think it rivals if not outdoes even the original trilogy.  But, that's just my take.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 08, 2005, 02:41:08 AM
I agree that ep 1-3 should never have been made in the first place. They were much cooler as rumours than as actual films.

All traces of originality are apparently leaving the hollywood movie factory. Everything that comes out nowadays seems to be adaptations of some cult book, comic or just a remake of a foreign movie. Really, what's so fantastic about having your childhood fantasies raped by mediocre actors and cgi characters on the screen?

I admit it's not all crap, but imagine what could have come out of all the efforts that went into e.g. LOTR if they had based it on an original (good) screenplay... it might actually have been exciting in a real way instead of in just the "will it suck?" way.

So, while Ep 3 wasn't very good, but given its predecessors and everything, I was positively surprised on the whole.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 08, 2005, 02:45:29 AM
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name?
The immortality master bit was to explain why in the original trilogy Ben Kenobi and Yoda could die but then come back to talk to Luke.  I don't think he really needed to throw that in.  I always assumed it was just some Jedi power Kenobi, Yoda, and Annakin had mastered.  

It was also used by Palpatine as a bait for Anakin to join the dark side, because then he would be able to save his wife from dying while giving birth. So I'd say it's a pretty important part of the story actually.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 08, 2005, 04:05:57 AM
naw, the bait was the thing over life and creatign life. chances are, and i though t this was  obvious, but ol palpatine was influncing vader's dreams to give him visions.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Ben on June 08, 2005, 04:59:06 AM
The force is a tool of Satan! (http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Aron on June 08, 2005, 12:04:15 PM
The new star wars movies sucked? What are you talking about? They are full of lightsabers and awesome transitions between the scenes! What is there not to love?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2005, 01:15:54 PM
Quote from: AronThe new star wars movies sucked? What are you talking about? They are full of lightsabers and awesome transitions between the scenes! What is there not to love?


There's this thing they came up with a while back... It's called "acting".  I'm surprised Lucas hasn't heard of it.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 08, 2005, 01:55:21 PM
although it does have th ebest acting out of hte whole newer trilogy...
Title: Vader's height
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2005, 01:57:59 PM
That's like saying the acting in "The 13th Gate" was better than the acting in "Cannonball Run"
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 08, 2005, 02:43:18 PM
when the best actor in the entire new trilogy doesn't even exist, you know something's rotten in Denmark.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 08, 2005, 04:19:18 PM
who was the best actor who didnt exsist then?  :?
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Wishfarple on June 08, 2005, 04:19:56 PM
Jar-Jar Binks, obviously
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 08, 2005, 06:25:03 PM
Yoda.

and he wasn't even that impressive.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 08, 2005, 07:13:54 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayYoda.

and he wasn't even that impressive.

8)

d00d, if you have ever read MAD Magazine, you must buy this month's, if you haven't already.  They rag on SWIII so bad, it seems like more than satire, it makes me think they agree with you :shock:

http://www.dccomics.com/media/excerpts/3967_x.pdf

http://www.dccomics.com/mad/?action=on_the_stands

PS I can't get the PDF to open :roll:
Title: Vader's height
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 08, 2005, 07:43:23 PM
they still make MAD Magazine?

I used to read that shit religiously back in the day.

I'll check it out.

8)
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Ben on June 08, 2005, 08:27:06 PM
[Yoda]Mad Magazine the shit is.[/Yoda]
Title: Vader's height
Post by: nurbldoff on June 08, 2005, 09:00:57 PM
Quote from: FUCK YEAH!!!!naw, the bait was the thing over life and creatign life. chances are, and i though t this was  obvious, but ol palpatine was influncing vader's dreams to give him visions.

I don't quite see what you mean... wasn't Palpatine saying all the time that Anakin would be able to save Padme from dying only if he would join the dark side, because he knew the secret of immortality?

Also, maybe he did influence Anakin's dreams, but still, Padme did die giving birth to the children and jedis apparently go around having premonitions and stuff all the time so it doesn't seem quite obvious to me that he wasn't actually dreaming about what might really happen. Maybe it was a bit too convenient for Palpatine though...

Warning: This post contained SPOLIERS.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 08, 2005, 09:10:35 PM
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes Todaythey still make MAD Magazine?

I used to read that shit religiously back in the day.

I'll check it out.

8)
Oh, yeah, they still make it.  I subscribed when I was in High School.  I got hooked reading my uncles old ones when I was little. Now my son, who is 4, is "reading" them, hehehe.  Since they have color pages now, it looks more like a comic book.  They also have ads, which freaked me out at first, I thought they were parodies.  But they tear up the movie and they haven't even done the movie parody yet.  There are about 4 things in there, I think.
Title: Vader's height
Post by: AFK on June 09, 2005, 02:16:55 PM
Quote from: irrelevant necessityalthough it does have th ebest acting out of hte whole newer trilogy...

That's through the process of elimination.  Jar-Jar doesn't utter a bloody word.  So automatically that's an improvement.  However pretty-boy Anakin talks more so that's a detriment to the movie.  Man, I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Darth Vader was once a whiny Backstreet Boy!