Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Zurtok Khan on June 08, 2005, 08:23:08 AM

Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Zurtok Khan on June 08, 2005, 08:23:08 AM
After much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.

Of course, there is nothing ancient about this, I was simply trying to grab your attention (and in the case of some members, thats not all I will attempt to grab), and as we all know logical falisies are the best way to do this.

This is, of course, nothing true about this either, which is exactally why you should believe it.

And, of course, it may contain cannibis (fuck nicotine, the PMC is a bunch of pussies, sorry Hugh-bert).

I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN because there are no real Discordians.  There is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.

Pfft, bunch of posers.
Title: Re: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 08, 2005, 10:39:53 AM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.


Um, I think the secret is that your a solopsist.

Just saying.
Title: Re: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Ben on June 08, 2005, 04:24:11 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.


Um, I think the secret is that your a solopsist.

Just saying.


Solipsist?  All right, let's clear this up right now.  Solipsism has always been my greatest confusion.  It could very well be that way, like a dream.  To prove to me that I am a solipsist, tell me something about myself that you wouldn't ordinarily be 'supposed' to know, like... what's my mother's maiden name?
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2005, 04:33:34 PM
Well, if you are a solipsist, then there's not much to do to prove you're not.  It's just what you believe to be true.

However, to prove that Solipsism is bullshit, all I have to do is whack you in the back of the knees with a baseball bat when you aren't looking.

[edit:  but I realize that's not your point.  You want proof that Solipsism is not bullshit, by telling you your mother's maiden name.  but that's not really how it works.  Your brain has constructed a reality so complete that your brain cannot possibly concieve that we would "know" something like that, so it does not relay that information.  In fact, you can posit that telepathy, etc is simply the solipsistic mind breaking the rules of it's own game.]
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Ben on June 08, 2005, 04:38:37 PM
Quote from: LMNOWell, if you are a solipsist, then there's not much to do to prove you're not.  It's just what you believe to be true.

However, to prove that Solipsism is bullshit, all I have to do is whack you in the back of the knees with a baseball bat when you aren't looking.

That's gonna be difficult, considering that you're just pixels on a screen.  If LMNO's avatar comes out of the screen with a bat and whacks me upside the kneecaps, I'll believe that bullshit is true.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: LMNO on June 08, 2005, 04:40:03 PM
Please see my edited response.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on June 08, 2005, 05:16:10 PM
Zurtok, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the hash-bash the PMM had back in April. ANd only a nutjob would call themself a discordian, real or fake.
Title: Re: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Verthaine on June 08, 2005, 09:12:28 PM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanAfter much consideration on the topic, I have discovered the secret of the ancients.  You are all real Discordians, not knowing the true secret of Chaos, you have blinded yourself with your own light.

The secret is I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.
Never been a discordian.never claimed to be
Quote from: Zurtok Khan
Of course, there is nothing ancient about this, I was simply trying to grab your attention (and in the case of some members, thats not all I will attempt to grab), and as we all know logical falisies are the best way to do this.

This is, of course, nothing true about this either, which is exactally why you should believe it.

And, of course, it may contain cannibis (fuck nicotine, the PMC is a bunch of pussies, sorry Hugh-bert).

I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN because there are no real Discordians.  There is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU.
Please be honest and say: In the universe as you percieve it ,you believe
"there is no Chaos, there is no Goddess, there is no word or light, or mind or foot in a sock resting lighty on the ground as I type this.  There is no nothing, and there is no everything.  But, you all know this.  I AM A FAKE DISCORDIAN AND SO ARE YOU"
Because in the universe as I percieve it there is nothing but Goddess. There is nothing but Chaos.But again thats just my opinion.
Do not think that your opinions are valid for everyone,because I realize that mine aren't.I don't deny you the right to percieve the universe as you chose,respect that right for others.
Quote from: Zurtok Khan
Pfft, bunch of posers.
Again,your opinion.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 08, 2005, 09:16:20 PM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCZurtok, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the hash-bash the PMM had back in April. ANd only a nutjob would call themself a discordian, real or fake.

(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/fucked.gif)

TGRR,
Isn't this way by CHOICE, though.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Zurtok Khan on June 09, 2005, 02:21:44 AM
*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Ben on June 09, 2005, 02:39:59 AM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Horab and Zorga anyways.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Horab Fibslager on June 09, 2005, 04:09:44 AM
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 09, 2005, 04:48:19 AM
Quote from: irrelevant necessity
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
That reminds me, where the heck is Zorga, she hasn't been around lately. :?
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Ben on June 09, 2005, 04:55:37 AM
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Quote from: irrelevant necessity
Quote from: OM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan*cries*

And I was just being sarcastic.

*cries more*

There, there.  We forgive you.  It's all only about Zorga anyways.

fixed that for ya dude.
That reminds me, where the heck is Zorga, she hasn't been around lately. :?
@ the center of the universe as usual.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 09, 2005, 04:57:27 AM
Zorga broke her leg. She's in a cast up to her hip and can't fit her leg under the computer table.  :(


She is, however, still @ the center of the universe.  :wink:
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 09, 2005, 05:25:48 AM
That stinks :evil: Tell her she's in my thoughts and prayers or whatever :wink:
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 09, 2005, 06:20:57 AM
Okay, I'll tell Zorga, thanks. She's actually in quite a bit of pain. She was helping Not-Bob on one of his construction jobs and a pile of dry wall fell over and hit her shin. The force of the impact not only broke the bone, it blew tiny shards of bone out the back of her leg.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 09, 2005, 06:23:06 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomOkay, I'll tell Zorga, thanks. She's actually in quite a bit of pain. She was helping Not-Bob on one of his construction jobs and a pile of dry wall fell over and hit her shin. The force of the impact not only broke the bone, it blew tiny shards of bone out the back of her leg.


GAHHHHHH!

That makes my ass injury from falling down the stairs today seem pathetic.

Give her my best wishes.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 09, 2005, 06:28:49 AM
I don't know. Your ass injury also sounds pretty miserable. :(

But yeah, I'll tell her. She's in the market for all the sympathy she can get at the moment. It's hard for her, because Zorga never sits still, and she's not only hurting, but is out of her mind with boredom.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 09, 2005, 06:30:37 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomI don't know. Your ass injury also sounds pretty miserable. :(

But yeah, I'll tell her. She's in the market for all the sympathy she can get at the moment. It's hard for her, because Zorga never sits still, and she's not only hurting, but is out of her mind with boredom.

My ass injury just means I have to type standing up.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on June 09, 2005, 06:35:56 AM
Tell her she has my sympathies too.

I'll send a little something special.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 09, 2005, 08:16:59 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomOkay, I'll tell Zorga, thanks. She's actually in quite a bit of pain. She was helping Not-Bob on one of his construction jobs and a pile of dry wall fell over and hit her shin. The force of the impact not only broke the bone, it blew tiny shards of bone out the back of her leg.
Yikes, did they have to put pins in?That sucks she can't even get to the computer, that is the best thing for boredom.  Would she like some books to read?  I could send some to her.  My hubby would be thrilled.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Malaul on June 09, 2005, 10:12:12 AM
hoy crap
thats TERRIBLE

Ive got books she can have too
things seem to get broken easily in your family though Bella
thats sad
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: East Coast Hustle on June 09, 2005, 02:57:31 PM
the NSRA wishes to express to Zorga the sympathy of an entire army, and would like to make it known that anything we can do to help would be considered an honor.

8)
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: LMNO on June 09, 2005, 03:04:56 PM
As a member of the Erisian Liberation Front, I am authorized to send best wishes and thoughts of a speedy recovery for Zorga, as well as a bottle of Rum.



And no ninja moves for at least a week, ok?
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: agent compassion on June 09, 2005, 04:27:06 PM
(http://www.cocktailtimes.com/download/rum.jpg)

That really sucks, Zorga! Here's to speedy healing!
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on June 09, 2005, 04:31:28 PM
/drool
That looks soOOOOOooooooooooo refreshing.

Hope the leg sorts out fine Zorga.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 09, 2005, 07:49:15 PM
Zorga is on the phone. The following is me quoting Zorga because she still can't get to her computer and no matter how much she yells at it, it wont' come to her. The nerve! :roll:

"Zorga says thank you for the drink, but do you have any idea how hard it is to get to the bathroom on crutches? At the moment the only thing revolving around Zorga is my big dogs, and they revolve to the point of almost knocking Zorga over. This is because they love me so much. Naturally.

Zorga has very very sad new for you. :(  I am banned from alcohol until these hated crutches are no longer needed.

Zorga is tired now. Thank for your kind thoughts. Go get drunk for Zorga. Now!"
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 09, 2005, 07:50:18 PM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomZorga is on the phone. The following is me quoting Zorga because she still can't get to her computer and no matter how much she yells at it, it wont' come to her. The nerve! :roll:


It just needs discipline.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: LMNO on June 09, 2005, 08:04:17 PM
Quote from: ZorgaGo get drunk for Zorga. Now!



Your wish is my command!
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 09, 2005, 08:07:28 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
It just needs discipline.
Zorga says, "Yes it does!" And as soon as she finds her whip - it's in trouble.
She is very tired of this shit already. She's mad.
It took her an hour and a half just to get her body cleaned and dressed this morning.
And this doesn't count makeup and hair.

You should hear her ranting on and on about how pissed she is over being injured.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: gnimbley on June 09, 2005, 08:50:07 PM
May Zorga's time in pain be short
May Zorga's time in life be long
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Zurtok Khan on June 09, 2005, 09:12:13 PM
Tell Zorga this is Eris's way of torturing her, because Eris was feeling bitchy.  Eris is over her PMS (or was it menopause this time?) for now, and expresses deep sympathy.

The eternal army of the Internation Institute of Asshats wishes to do anything it can to help Zorga.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 11, 2005, 03:31:10 AM
Zorga says thank you. And you may all make fun of her now. She was reduced to driving one of those little morotorized granny carts at the grocery store today. Not-Bob's mother made her get in it. And Zorga says that she only ran over three customers and one employee who was stocking the shelves with toilet paper, and she only knocked over two stacks of canned items. She's very proud of her driving.  :D
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bob the Mediocre on June 11, 2005, 03:38:54 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of DoomZorga says thank you. And you may all make fun of her now. She was reduced to driving one of those little morotorized granny carts at the grocery store today. Not-Bob's mother made her get in it. And Zorga says that she only ran over three customers and one employee who was stocking the shelves with toilet paper, and she only knocked over two stacks of canned items. She's very proud of her driving.  :D

:points and laughs at Zorga:

hmm, not sure how well I'd drive on one of those... ah well, I can laugh anyway
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Wishfarple on June 11, 2005, 04:38:47 AM
As long as Zorga is not 400 lbs and surly, she's still a step ahead of those who usually drive those carts at the grocery store.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 11, 2005, 05:23:52 AM
Quote from: fuckchopsAs long as Zorga is not 400 lbs and surly, she's still a step ahead of those who usually drive those carts at the grocery store.
Nope, she's tall, thin, with long blonde hair - always friendly and outgoing.
And she looks like this when her hair is pulled back:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/SssBella/zorga2.jpg)
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on June 11, 2005, 06:42:24 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: fuckchopsAs long as Zorga is not 400 lbs and surly, she's still a step ahead of those who usually drive those carts at the grocery store.
Nope, she's tall, thin, with long blonde hair - always friendly and outgoing.
And she looks like this when her hair is pulled back:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/SssBella/zorga2.jpg)
Wow, that looks a lot different from her avatar. :shock:   I am glad she has found her sense of humor, that is a sure sign that she is on the road to recovery :twisted: .  Those people probably needed to be run over by a willowy blonde anyway :lol:
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 12, 2005, 12:18:54 AM
i doubt u guys ever saw it but in the uk there was a irn bru advert involving a granny and her motorised scooter.

basically the granny did a ram raid on a store in her scooter, stealng lots of irn bru and was generally amusing. maybe you friend zorgo would also find this amusing in her current state
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Bella on June 12, 2005, 06:19:11 PM
Quote from: DiLi doubt u guys ever saw it but in the uk there was a irn bru advert involving a granny and her motorised scooter.

basically the granny did a ram raid on a store in her scooter, stealng lots of irn bru and was generally amusing. maybe you friend zorgo would also find this amusing in her current state
Nope, I've never seen that ad, but it sounds great. I'm gonna tell Zorga about the next time we talk on the phone.

ps: Zorga's my friend, but she's also my little sister.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 12, 2005, 06:39:50 PM
if syn or scribe were around they might be able ot describe it in more detail.lol
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on June 12, 2005, 09:50:29 PM
They have quite a cool ad campaign over here.

Can't find a link to the granny one, but try these:

(http://www.iota-consulting.co.uk/~kcampbell/Bru/irn_brucowad.jpg)
One of the most complained about ads in the 1990's.

(http://www.iota-consulting.co.uk/~kcampbell/Bru/irnbru_bitches2.jpg)
(http://www.iota-consulting.co.uk/~kcampbell/Bru/Nurse.jpg)
(http://www.iota-consulting.co.uk/~kcampbell/Bru/kissposter1.jpg)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/3110801.stm :)
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 12, 2005, 09:59:01 PM
personally i cannot stand the shit, but syntapax being located in scotland probably drinks the stuff by the gallon. its like the scottish national drink
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on June 12, 2005, 10:01:22 PM
I like Irn Bru, but haven't actually had any in years, it's full of caffeine.
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 12, 2005, 10:52:45 PM
euhg, i just plain dont like it. its horrid stuff. and smells like bleach
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 13, 2005, 10:27:25 PM
hah i actually found the advert i was talking about.

bella if you want i could try adn pm you it or somthing, as it is highly amusing
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.) on June 14, 2005, 03:04:44 PM
Quote from: DiLeuhg, i just plain dont like it. its horrid stuff. and smells like bleach
I think it's supposed to be a mixed fruit flavour. Weird stuff. :)

For more information check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irn_Bru

Don't you just love Wikipedia?
Title: I R a fAk3 Discordian!
Post by: Drunken Monkey Cabal on June 14, 2005, 03:32:26 PM
lol "Made in Scotland from Girders"  explains the taste alright