I think we all need a bit more EGO around here. We need to brag about something, or at least I want to brag about something. You should all join in, Solidarity(TM) is the onlything that makes anything right.
This was all inspired by an Asatru Ritual called a Bloat, where you drink lots of mead. In one of the rounds of drinking you get to brag about yourself. Do so now. The mead is optional, but preferred.
/brag
So, like, the other day I was visiting a friends house, playing computer games. Being the dork that I am I failed to realize that I had park in the spot NEXT TO visitor parking, and there was a boot on my car.
So, I call the parking enforcement company, and tell them to come on out, yo!
Dude comes out, and we start talking. He's shocked, he's never had a calm, civil conversation with someone while removing the boot from a car. I looked at Dude quisically. Why am I going to get mad? It's my own fault for being a dork.
Dude did not quite understand this. He was in a slight state of shock when he left.
Mindfuck achieved.
/end brag
So, how about you?
<brag>
I can engage each pectoral muscle separately.
</brag>
If I recall correctly, that is something to brag about, seeing as how you've got a lot of "pectoral" to "engage".
I can count in Farsi, and write upside down in English.
:D
<snark>
Imma fat girl andI like to have sex a lot while someone is videoing it...
</snark>
I'm really good at breaking into people's houses and stealing their home made video tapes.
Im really good at leaving the bottom right window on the first floor wide open::
i'm going bald before msot balding men! w00t!
last oen there buy s the restof us beer!
I can play guitar like a motherfucker, I can dance like I'm not white, I can drink ANYONE under the table, and I beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
oh, and once I cooked for the King of Norway.
8)
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayI can play guitar like a motherfucker, I can dance like I'm not white, I can drink ANYONE under the table, and I beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
oh, and once I cooked for the King of Norway.
8)
Details, please? with, perhaps, photographic samples?
I can kill a man with one finger
and make up ridiculous lies
Quote from: LMNOQuote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayI can play guitar like a motherfucker, I can dance like I'm not white, I can drink ANYONE under the table, and I beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
oh, and once I cooked for the King of Norway.
8)
Details, please? with, perhaps, photographic samples?
I used to live next door to a lesbian. We became best friends and almost got married (for tax purposes, mostly.) We had a running argument about whether or not it was even possible for a guy to be as skilled at cunnilingus as a girl. One night when we were out drinking at the 5-Point, we ran into an old girlfriend of hers. The three of us got raging drunk. At some point, she brought up our argument and asked if the ex-gf would be willing to help us settle the wager. we agreed that there would be a half-hour between our turns so as to start each turn with a clean slate, so to speak. I won. Got $50 and I got to shag a hot lesbian. One of my shining moments, if I do say so myself.
sorry, no photos.
8)
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayQuote from: LMNOQuote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayI can play guitar like a motherfucker, I can dance like I'm not white, I can drink ANYONE under the table, and I beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
oh, and once I cooked for the King of Norway.
8)
Details, please? with, perhaps, photographic samples?
I used to live next door to a lesbian. We became best friends and almost got married (for tax purposes, mostly.) We had a running argument about whether or not it was even possible for a guy to be as skilled at cunnilingus as a girl. One night when we were out drinking at the 5-Point, we ran into an old girlfriend of hers. The three of us got raging drunk. At some point, she brought up our argument and asked if the ex-gf would be willing to help us settle the wager. we agreed that there would be a half-hour between our turns so as to start each turn with a clean slate, so to speak. I won. Got $50 and I got to shag a hot lesbian. One of my shining moments, if I do say so myself.
sorry, no photos.
8)
"Mr Turd! OB from SSOOKN News Network. Would your cunnilingus skills be as effective on a
sober lesbian?"
I can beat Vin Diesel in a staring contest.
Quote from: The Open BarQuote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayQuote from: LMNOQuote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayI can play guitar like a motherfucker, I can dance like I'm not white, I can drink ANYONE under the table, and I beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
oh, and once I cooked for the King of Norway.
8)
Details, please? with, perhaps, photographic samples?
I used to live next door to a lesbian. We became best friends and almost got married (for tax purposes, mostly.) We had a running argument about whether or not it was even possible for a guy to be as skilled at cunnilingus as a girl. One night when we were out drinking at the 5-Point, we ran into an old girlfriend of hers. The three of us got raging drunk. At some point, she brought up our argument and asked if the ex-gf would be willing to help us settle the wager. we agreed that there would be a half-hour between our turns so as to start each turn with a clean slate, so to speak. I won. Got $50 and I got to shag a hot lesbian. One of my shining moments, if I do say so myself.
sorry, no photos.
8)
"Mr Turd! OB from SSOOKN News Network. Would your cunnilingus skills be as effective on a sober lesbian?"
absolutely.
unless she's ugly. I'm shallow like that.
8)
I'm just better than you. That's all there is to it.
I am Pure Potential
I am Pure Speed.
:D
Quote from: Tomorrow Comes TodayI beat a lesbian in a pussy-eating contest.
He aint kiddin folks
Quote from: agent compassionI am Pure Speed.
:D
well hook a brotha up then.
I could use some speed today.
8)
I've said it once and I'll say it again: meth sucks.
Just say no to glass kids.
there is NOTHING you can tell me about meth that I don't already know.
and the fact that it sucks doesn't change anything. I've gotten about 12 hours of sleep in the last week. I could use some speed.
8)
Heh, sounds like you could use some sleep.
true, but that's not in the cards.
8)
No speed, sorry. That was yesterday. Today I'm Pure Poetry.
Anyway...I could stop time for a few hours, so you could catch a nap...
:D
I could use a nap too, oh wait. Its time for me to leave...
..I can take a nap! Muahahaha! Time for fish and a nap, god damnit I'm hungry.