Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Antechinus sapiens on July 31, 2005, 11:51:26 AM

Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: Antechinus sapiens on July 31, 2005, 11:51:26 AM
So I was sitting upon my porcelain throne of contemplation the other day, cogitating (as one does upon the porcelian throne) when an analogy came to me. It's probably been thought of many times before but for me it was a brand spanking new, never-been-seen-before-in-this-city analogy. I was proud of the analogy, even if it is in most likelihood about as unoriginal as you can get. It got me thinking and I suppose you could argue that's it's the thought that matters (but then again, you could argue against that too).

An IDEA (I was thinking to myself) is much like a plank of wood. "What kind of plank of wood?" you may ask, to which I'd reply a normal plank of wood. Yay long by yay wide, not too thick but not too thin. Something you wouldn't mind having as a floorboard kind-of-thing. I digress.

An IDEA (as I was saying) is like a plank of wood floating in a suitably deep body of water. On its own a plank of wood will normally float quite well, although sometimes it will still become waterlogged and sink all by its ownsome. A plank of wood can float but if you were to try to stand on it, it would most likely tip you ass-over-nose into the water at which time you'd end up very wet indeed. Some people, such as those with little-wizened-old-Eastern-monk skills could probably balance on a lone standard plank of wood but most people would be in trouble.

Now, if you get a few planks of wood or IDEAs you can tie them or nail them together. If you do that properly you can stand on it quite well. It'll take your weight and you won't end up sinking unless you've been lax in the construction of your raft of wood or IDEAs, in which case you'll be fine for however long when suddenly without warning you'll be pitched headlong into the generic body of water.

After this time I finished my cogitation, flushed, washed my hands and wandered off into the great blue yonder a shade more illuminated than I had been a few minutes before.
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: Iron Sulfide on July 31, 2005, 06:21:13 PM
return to the throne often.

we know if you've really washed your hands or not.
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: Antechinus sapiens on August 01, 2005, 09:43:03 AM
I always wash my hands. They're always so clean you could eat off them, except when they're not.
Title: Re: Deep stuff (
Post by: Bella on August 01, 2005, 09:47:33 AM
Quote from: Antechinus sapiensNow, if you get a few planks of wood or IDEAs you can tie them or nail them together. If you do that properly you can stand on it quite well. It'll take your weight and you won't end up sinking unless you've been lax in the construction of your raft of wood or IDEAs, in which case you'll be fine for however long when suddenly without warning you'll be pitched headlong into the generic body of water.
This happens to me sometimes, but I usually find that there's a least one idea still afloat and I can cling to that one long enough to find my way back to shore and start over.

Sometimes not, though. And in that case, I just drown.

And then start over.
Title: Re: Deep stuff (
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on August 01, 2005, 09:55:58 AM
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Antechinus sapiensNow, if you get a few planks of wood or IDEAs you can tie them or nail them together. If you do that properly you can stand on it quite well. It'll take your weight and you won't end up sinking unless you've been lax in the construction of your raft of wood or IDEAs, in which case you'll be fine for however long when suddenly without warning you'll be pitched headlong into the generic body of water.
This happens to me sometimes, but I usually find that there's a least one idea still afloat and I can cling to that one long enough to find my way back to shore and start over.

Sometimes not, though. And in that case, I just drown.

And then start over.

It really is just about washing ones hands though. No one cares how crazy the idea is so long as the hands are clean.
Title: Re: Deep stuff (
Post by: Antechinus sapiens on August 01, 2005, 10:41:47 AM
Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSC
Quote from: SssBella, Oracle of Doom
Quote from: Antechinus sapiensNow, if you get a few planks of wood or IDEAs you can tie them or nail them together. If you do that properly you can stand on it quite well. It'll take your weight and you won't end up sinking unless you've been lax in the construction of your raft of wood or IDEAs, in which case you'll be fine for however long when suddenly without warning you'll be pitched headlong into the generic body of water.
This happens to me sometimes, but I usually find that there's a least one idea still afloat and I can cling to that one long enough to find my way back to shore and start over.

Sometimes not, though. And in that case, I just drown.

And then start over.

It really is just about washing ones hands though. No one cares how crazy the idea is so long as the hands are clean.
Very true. With enough self-foaming lemon scented hand wash and a special patent pending dispenser you could rule the world. Or at least a small corner of it for a short period of time until someone else noticed.
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on August 01, 2005, 10:51:52 AM
Therein lies my plan for global dominance.
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: LMNO on August 01, 2005, 05:25:04 PM
If the plank of wood is an IDEA, then what is the water?
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: /o\ on August 01, 2005, 07:32:56 PM
and whats so bad about swimming?
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: DJRubberducky on August 01, 2005, 07:41:05 PM
There's a big difference between swimming and flailing about in the water.

And even if you're swimming, you can't swim forever - you'd better hope there's some dry land, or at least another chunk of wood, somewhere within your capacity to reach.
Title: Re: Deep stuff (
Post by: Iron Sulfide on August 01, 2005, 08:35:12 PM
Quote from: Antechinus sapiens
Very true. With enough self-foaming lemon scented hand wash and a special patent pending dispenser you could rule the world. Or at least a small corner of it for a short period of time until someone else noticed.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

not THAT soap! that soap is filled with lyes!
Title: Deep stuff (
Post by: Guest on August 02, 2005, 05:52:10 AM
When I swim it washes my makeup off.