Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Zurtok Khan on September 03, 2005, 08:17:10 AM

Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 03, 2005, 08:17:10 AM
[sarcasm]
There is nothing here to see folks.  The train crashed.  People's desacrated bodies are lying mangled in the road.  Go home.  We'll take care of it, because we're the ones in charge.  We know better then you.  We are trained to handle these things.  We'll take care of you.  Do not cross this line.  There is yellow tape everywhere, and you know what that means, stay back!

Please go home and think inside the box.  There's nothing outside it anyway.  Well, anything that's outside it will be scoffed at.  Of course, you knew that already.  You don't want to cross the line.  Then you might be different, right?  And if you do that you'll be alienated because Jesus won't love you any more if you think.  And, science will hate you if you have faith.  Of course, you knew that.  And, we all know you wouldn't want that.

If you don't agree with us then you are wrong.  You know that Intelligent design is correct, because if it isn't then we're all going to Hell in a handbasket, because that somehow means that God isn't real!  You know that evolution is real and that Heaven and Hell are psychological dillusions meant to be scoffed at.  There is no magic.  Your life is bland consumerism.  New Technology and Progress are the only things to live for.  Give over it.  Nihilism now!

[/sarcasm]

Well, now that that's out of my system, I feel much better.  Please ignore any and all police tape, red tape, blue tape, scotch tape, or whatever other kind of tape you can imagine (but remember, Duct Tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side!).  Please do not pass go, do not collect 200$.  Please go to whichever square on the board looks best to you.  If you don't like any of the squares please feel free to make your own.  Hell, claim the whole board.

Of course, why am I telling you to do anything at all?  Isn't that somehow anti-Discordian or some shit?  I'm sure you can all write down all the anti-Discordian things you want.  Blah-blah-blah-fucking-blah.

I'm fed up with all the Discordian shit that's being shoveled around here.  DO YOU SMELL WHAT IT IS YOU ARE SHOVELING?  No?  Maybe you have a head cold.  Go to the Doctor now, he's the only one who knows anything about your body.

I thought the whole point was that everyone was a Pope (or Mome).  I was wrong, I know.  Everyone is a Pope when you feel like sounding generous enough to satisfy some strange part of your mind for a bit.  

I think I'll name this part of your mind the Enlightenment Circuit.  The Enlightment Circuit makes us feel better when we think we are being more "enlightened."  It makes us feel good because we think we are somehow better then the rest of the world because we are generous enough to allow other people to temporarily share our same exaulted status.  It's part of the ego, of course, but it's the specialized part that's best at making it's owner look like a jackass.  Mine is of course over acted.

But, you don't want to hear about that, because that might mean you have to admit things to your self that you'd rather not.  Or maybe you already "have."  But, it's probably the Enlightenment Circuit playing tricks on you again.

The Enlightenment Circuit is really just the minds Police Tape.  Remember, you can't cross it.  You're not good enough because you are already too good.  

Or something.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 03, 2005, 08:25:27 AM
wiki sarcasm dude.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 03, 2005, 08:38:23 AM
WTF does Wiki mean?
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: the other anonymous on September 03, 2005, 10:26:15 AM
wiki == peer-reviewed trolling, so you know it's quality. ;)
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2005, 08:39:31 AM
Zurtok,

GREAT shit, dude.  Class A rant.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 04, 2005, 08:46:29 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerZurtok,

GREAT shit, dude.  Class A rant.

Are you being sarcastic?
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2005, 08:47:58 AM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerZurtok,

GREAT shit, dude.  Class A rant.

Are you being sarcastic?

Nope.

That was your best rant so far, IMO.

TGRR,
Can apparently mindfuck people with compliments. :lol:
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 04, 2005, 08:49:25 AM
Lol,

Well then, thanks much Rog.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 04, 2005, 08:49:43 AM
Just giving credit where credit is due.

Sort of reminds me of something the great Noah Webster once said..."I like things that are okay...I don't like things that are MORE than okay, because then I start thinking that there might be things that are LESS than okay."
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: LMNO on September 06, 2005, 06:48:48 PM
Quote from: My Arch NemesisThe Enlightment Circuit makes us feel better when we think we are being more "enlightened." It makes us feel good because we think we are somehow better then the rest of the world because we are generous enough to allow other people to temporarily share our same exaulted status. It's part of the ego, of course, but it's the specialized part that's best at making it's owner look like a jackass. Mine is of course over acted.

...

The Enlightenment Circuit is really just the minds Police Tape. Remember, you can't cross it. You're not good enough because you are already too good.

8/10.

Points off for lack of exposition once New Idea was achieved.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 07, 2005, 05:30:45 AM
enlightenment is the sound of one mind masturbating.
Title: Re: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 07, 2005, 05:34:14 AM
Quote from: Zurtok Khan[sarcasm]
I think I'll name this part of your mind the Enlightenment Circuit.  

Well, if we're all gonna get our thumb in the schematic, I'm going to add the GetMyMonkeyBoyOn circuit.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 07, 2005, 05:36:20 AM
LMNO, that is for the next rant that I'm working on.  It will be a full exposition of the idea.  Give me a day or 3 =)

The true point of the rant was to say "DO YOU SMELL WHAT YOU ARE SHOVELING?"

And, Horab, that is truely wise =)
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 07, 2005, 05:41:22 AM
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/monkey.gif)

Ah, there it is...it takes longer, as you get older.

Maybe I should ask Bob Dole for some of his stash.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Zurtok Khan on September 07, 2005, 05:45:00 AM
No, I told Bob Dole that he's not allowed to give you Viagra until after you and I have dinner.  I can't have you getting all randy when we're eatting in a nice restaurant.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 07, 2005, 05:54:14 AM
Quote from: Zurtok KhanNo, I told Bob Dole that he's not allowed to give you Viagra until after you and I have dinner.  I can't have you getting all randy when we're eatting in a nice restaurant.

Um, too late.

I thought the directions meant take one (BOTTLE) a day.

Now the postman's dead, the neighbor is pregnant, and I just found myself on the roof saying, "Here, kitty, kitty!"
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: LMNO on September 07, 2005, 05:33:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerI just found myself on the roof saying, "Here, kitty, kitty!"

I would think Mal would prefer a little more... romance... in your approach.

Try dangling a pair of handcuffs.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Acoge on September 07, 2005, 05:45:23 PM
Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerI just found myself on the roof saying, "Here, kitty, kitty!"

I would think Mal would prefer a little more... romance... in your approach.

Try dangling a pair of handcuffs.
If those don't work there are always participles that can be left dangling in the wind.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: LMNO on September 07, 2005, 05:49:28 PM
Quote from: Acoge
Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerI just found myself on the roof saying, "Here, kitty, kitty!"

I would think Mal would prefer a little more... romance... in your approach.

Try dangling a pair of handcuffs.
Dangling in the wind, you can always use participles.

Mangled that for you.
Title: Do not Cross the Police Tape - Rant X
Post by: Acoge on September 07, 2005, 05:56:27 PM
Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: Acoge
Quote from: LMNO
Quote from: The Good Reverend RogerI just found myself on the roof saying, "Here, kitty, kitty!"

I would think Mal would prefer a little more... romance... in your approach.

Try dangling a pair of handcuffs.
Dangling in the wind, you can always use participles.

Mangled that for you.
damn.... like yoda more I see.