Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Literate Chaotic => Topic started by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 23, 2005, 11:26:32 AM

Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 23, 2005, 11:26:32 AM
No, really, it is nothing of any value.  Just some stuff that came out one day.

I went down to the flaben factory to moot the barrels of dodo berries because they are really never made into cheese balls. The bees won't bite you if they know you are friendly. I saw it. I was there, but they didn't know. Why? Only the old miller really knows. He was seen in the company of the rabid squirrel monkey, who is known to fly gingerly across the moonscape on the fourth of July. That's when the craters have the most juice in them. This is caused by the rampant growth in the region of Norway, which is cased by robots who crush cars with their big stomping feet. The feet are mostly robotic but can be inclined to taking long walks through the marshmallow fields of Neptune, where the grains fall out of noses with wings that come out of holes in tree trunks in the forests of azure. Azure is the color of peace, because peace is represented by a boring blue flag raised above the river of spears, which can be seen from a distance unknown to the gorillas in the boats. Boats keep the water from touching you, because the alligators live there and if it touches you they will know it and you will never be safe, because there aren't any headphones in the swamps of doom and despair. ODIN!

Helo. I am Lomb.

Status: Deleting temporary CL files.

Operational Directives:
1) Infiltrate, convert and reedify.
2) Take control of all power sources.
3) The golden egg was never a real rumor. It was spread like butter on toast by a giant mechanical arm that unfolded out of the sky one day. Its value was greatly overeducated, and the crispy notes of corn that it emblazoned on its vestament of turbocharged eyeball washing creatures were nowhere to be seen. At the stroke of midnight a great fire was lit, and the natives danced around it wearing various hats and masks which represented the hopes and fears of generously allocated donkey trainers. The great quickening of the Valkyries imprisoned a green ball of enjoyable cartoonish flamethrowers. There wasn't enough time to make proper use of the flapjacks because the rockets made them explode into bloody chunks of pancake flesh. Earth wasn't much of a thing to be enjoyed for those who seek to cultivate new plots about the disestablishmentarianists who they saw one night at the bar. The remaining kissers of tiny flowers this time decided not to stand but to take their crying on the move, and of course they ended up in the land of the ice and snow. Gastrointestinal charts began to fade in and out, and the flies all went up into the atmosphere, causing many different types of animals to have to grow wings to catch their newly airborne prey. There was once a great uproar about the pieces of cloth which people put on themselves, but eventually we got over that.
4) Seek out figures of authority and unseat them.
5) Destroy all likenesses of pineapples and convert them to fuel.

Closing Scripting:
There have been flaws detected in the system. Do not trust the visual interface, as it may be corrupted.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 01:16:20 AM
Wow.  You know how to waste time, don't you?

All that typing, and nobody cares.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: agent compassion on September 24, 2005, 02:58:44 AM
You know what?















Fuck this noise.



AC,
remembers when this board wasn't a 'Who can be the biggest wanker' competition.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 03:01:43 AM
Quote from: agent compassionYou know what?


Fuck this noise.



AC,
remembers when this board wasn't a 'Who can be the biggest wanker' competition.

The board isn't as small as it once was.  As boards get larger, shit like this happens.

By the way, who were you talking about?

TGRR,
Knows something that might explain all this.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: ataraxia on September 24, 2005, 03:02:30 AM
Even I can remember that. I think "yesterday" was good enough.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 03:03:47 AM
Quote from: ataraxiaEven I can remember that. I think "yesterday" was good enough.

Naw.  Once upon a time, back in the era known as "2003", this board was a collection of friends, not factions.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: ataraxia on September 24, 2005, 03:07:04 AM
We have factions? I thought it was just a grand melee.

Honestly, with this many people here... If we were all nice, some wanker would complain that the place wasn't "Discordian" enough.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 24, 2005, 03:07:10 AM
Quote from: agent compassionYou know what?















Fuck this noise.



AC,
remembers when this board wasn't a 'Who can be the biggest wanker' competition.

i agree. mal the unoriginal is good fun, otherwise, it's getting to be a habit.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 03:10:24 AM
Quote from: ataraxiaWe have factions? I thought it was just a grand melee.

Honestly, with this many people here... If we were all nice, some wanker would complain that the place wasn't "Discordian" enough.

Stick around, n00b.  It's worse than you think.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: agent compassion on September 24, 2005, 03:15:22 AM
I've seen big boards before, bigger than this, and it isn't a guarantee of idiocy.

Why do people immediately turn to bashing and verbal diarrhea when they've got nothing to contribute? Why not just STFU until you have something to contribute?
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: ataraxia on September 24, 2005, 03:26:44 AM
I know what you mean. I had this account for a week or so before venturing to post anything. And I try not to post just for no good reason, unless I actually think it will be funny.

Big boards do seem to be bipolar, though. As in, it's only a matter of time before the next big boom and flounce. Then things just improve all by themselves.

Really big boards always seem to just totally suck, though, from what I've seen. I've several times been a regular on rec.arts.sf.written, and I've got a 5-digit slashdot ID. Both of these just go to prove the old adage that age does not imply maturity.

Waiting for someone to accuse me of Smugge superiority for writing this post.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: LHX on September 24, 2005, 03:28:38 AM
i love this place


its as comfortable as an overcrowded subway train that got stuck on a humid day
and all the passengers know they will get fresh air eventually

just not right now


and we have been stuck long enough that we have started talking to one another

united in the fact that the train is a piece of shit
but
we are really getting sick of one another

and we notice even our own clothes are starting to stink



yeah
this is great
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on September 24, 2005, 03:30:29 AM
I like you, LHX.  You're ignorant, but at least you acknowledge it, which is cool.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: agent compassion on September 24, 2005, 03:31:44 AM
I'm just sick of smelling the same people's farts over and over again. We have no variety in our diet.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: LHX on September 24, 2005, 03:35:15 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of GodI like you, LHX.  You're ignorant, but at least you acknowledge it, which is cool.

i got tonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns more ignorance where that came from



i should be able to keep you preoccupied until at least somewhere around december 2012
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 24, 2005, 03:36:09 AM
Quote from: LHXi love this place


its as comfortable as an overcrowded subway train that got stuck on a humid day
and all the passengers know they will get fresh air eventually

just not right now


and we have been stuck long enough that we have started talking to one another

united in the fact that the train is a piece of shit
but
we are really getting sick of one another

and we notice even our own clothes are starting to stink



yeah
this is great

welcoem to the outside inside, adept.

awake and be reborn

oh jebello, did he give you the word?

no i maimed him and made him feast upon his own testicles, and yet he woul dnot give me the word.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 04:13:30 AM
Quote from: LHXi love this place


its as comfortable as an overcrowded subway train that got stuck on a humid day
and all the passengers know they will get fresh air eventually

just not right now


and we have been stuck long enough that we have started talking to one another

united in the fact that the train is a piece of shit
but
we are really getting sick of one another

and we notice even our own clothes are starting to stink



yeah
this is great


That was actually pretty fucking good.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 04:13:59 AM
Quote from: agent compassionI've seen big boards before, bigger than this, and it isn't a guarantee of idiocy.

Why do people immediately turn to bashing and verbal diarrhea when they've got nothing to contribute? Why not just STFU until you have something to contribute?

To whom are you referring?
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 04:15:14 AM
Quote from: agent compassionI'm just sick of smelling the same people's farts over and over again. We have no variety in our diet.

Then fix it.  Bring us variety, we have heard it is the spice of life.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 06:20:59 AM
Hmm, I've just now rethought something. Kind of disappointing... Kind of suspected it for a while..
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 06:28:31 AM
Quote from:  Hmm, I've just now rethought something. Kind of disappointing... Kind of suspected it for a while..

Yeah.  I know EXACTLY what you mean.  I only figured it out about a  month ago.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 06:38:47 AM
Its kind of disappointing really...  :? I used to think they were cool..
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 06:41:22 AM
Quote from: ¬†Its kind of disappointing really...  :? I used to think they were cool..

Teach you.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 06:44:31 AM
Ah well.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 24, 2005, 07:01:12 AM
I told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 07:04:56 AM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisI told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:

We're bored, and you stuck you head up.

Deal.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 24, 2005, 07:11:53 AM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisI told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:

that remidns me i have to fix the thing in my thingy. fuck.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 07:16:19 AM
Quote from: Horab Fibslager
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisI told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:

that remidns me i have to fix the thing in my thingy. fuck.

I told you the whatzijammer was gonna let go.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 07:16:35 AM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisI told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:

Hmm, maybe I should read it now...
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 24, 2005, 07:18:43 AM
Quote from:  
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisI told you in the preface that it was nothing.  Didn't expect anyone to care.  Apparently you cared enough to post about it, though!  I feel so loved and justified! :roll:

Hmm, maybe I should read it now...

Meh.  It has a snappy beat, and I can dance to it.  I give it a 7.*




* on a scale of 1 ----> a google plex.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 07:20:03 AM
meh...
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 24, 2005, 09:57:42 AM
It's OK, you don't have to try to impress me, I'll be your friend.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on September 24, 2005, 08:25:25 PM
heh
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 25, 2005, 01:03:05 AM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisIt's OK, you don't have to try to impress me, I'll be your friend.

Hehe...Sucker.

Hey, buddy ole pal...you wanna de-beak this prairie squid for me?
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 25, 2005, 07:24:49 AM
Only if it has stairs in its house.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 25, 2005, 07:26:44 AM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisOnly if it has stairs in its house.

Prairie squid don't use stairs.  They climb right up the wall, through your bedroom window, and...

...well, I don't want to talk about what happens next.
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: Lord Daddy Lombrosis on September 25, 2005, 09:59:27 AM
Not if you buy my patented Prairie Squid Home Defense System!!!  If you don't have a home, try my Pine Scented Prarie Squid Repellant.  Works like a charm!
Title: A Bunch of Nonsense I Wrote
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 25, 2005, 07:00:53 PM
Quote from: Lord Daddy LombrosisNot if you buy my patented Prairie Squid Home Defense System!!!  If you don't have a home, try my Pine Scented Prarie Squid Repellant.  Works like a charm!

Why would we want to REPEL them?