Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: LMNO on October 26, 2005, 02:43:36 PM

Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2005, 02:43:36 PM
The revolution will probably be televised.



The revolution will be born in some stoner,Äôs basement.  The revolution will be an ongoing prank in History class.  The revolution will not be defined.  The revolution will be acknowledged with a quiet nod.  The revolution will gain momentum.

The revolution will be identified by recent college grads with Graphic Design and Marketing degrees burning holes in their pockets.  The revolution will be pitched to CEOs of multinational corporations.  The revolution will be analyzed, autopsied, sliced, diced, and stuck to corkboards with pushpins.  The revolution will be cleaned up, polished, waxed, packaged, and tied in a nice bow.

The revolution will be leaked to the media.  The revolution will show up on the catwalks of Paris, Italy, and Japan.  The revolution will have its own burger.  The revolution will have its theme song in heavy rotation on MTV.  The revolution will be on Leno, Letterman, Conan, and The Daily Show.  The revolution will turn down an appearance on Carson Daly.

The revolution will be sold at Hot Topic.

The revolution will be identified as a ,Äútrend,Äù by CNN.  The revolution will be reported on by self-proclaimed Experts In The Field.  The revolution will be blamed for teen pregnancy.  The revolution will be synonymous with the ,ÄúTwinkie defense,Äù in courts of law.

The revolution will host a concert series to help the homeless.  The revolution will be managed by financial advisors, lawyers, ad agencies, and media planners.  The revolution will be publicly traded in the stock market.  The revolution will be remixed by P. Diddy and released exclusively on iTunes.

The revolution will have sub-genres.  The revolution will suffer an anti-revolution backlash.  The revolution will appear on an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.  The revolution will generate buzzwords that will be used by your parents trying to sound hip.  The revolution will be in a Cadillac commercial.  The revolution will be adopted by pre-pubescent girls trying to act ,Äúgrown up,Äù.

The revolution will be derided by Bill Mahr, Rush Limbaugh, & Al Franken.  The revolution will be mocked by Jon Stewart, Steve Colbert, and Tina Fey.  The revolution will appear on Best Week Ever.  The revolution will become an automatic punchline.  The revolution will be relegated to a question in the next edition of Trivial Pursuit.

The revolution will be televised.  After all, there's market share to consider.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 26, 2005, 03:17:50 PM
read and scored.

8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2005, 04:07:35 PM
Much obliged.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Doctor on October 26, 2005, 05:32:35 PM
Most excellent.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2005, 05:36:03 PM
I'm thinking of turning it into a song.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Doctor on October 26, 2005, 05:38:40 PM
It would make a really good animated music video...
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: LMNO on October 26, 2005, 05:40:01 PM
Well, if you know any animators, I'll toss it their way when I'm done.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 26, 2005, 11:18:18 PM
Now the question is: are all revolutions completly futile?
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Cain on October 26, 2005, 11:20:42 PM
yes.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 26, 2005, 11:28:24 PM
Quote from: Cainyes.

At which point we can ask: Why do we therefore partake in them?
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Cain on October 26, 2005, 11:30:51 PM
Because we can.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: fluffy on October 26, 2005, 11:34:02 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Quote from: Cainyes.

At which point we can ask: Why do we therefore partake in them?


better than playing parcheesi?
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 26, 2005, 11:39:21 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Quote from: Cainyes.

At which point we can ask: Why do we therefore partake in them?

because it beats drinking Budweiser and watching NASCAR?

8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 26, 2005, 11:41:10 PM
I think its because we feel its better than doing nothing.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Fizzwitz Glorypoop on October 26, 2005, 11:42:58 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Quote from: Cainyes.

At which point we can ask: Why do we therefore partake in them?

It seemed like the thing to do at the time...
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 26, 2005, 11:53:23 PM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeI think its because we feel its better than doing nothing.

speak for yourself, I just don't feel like being legally obligated to drink american piss-lager and watch scripted pseudo-sports.

8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 26, 2005, 11:57:30 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeI think its because we feel its better than doing nothing.

speak for yourself, I just don't feel like being legally obligated to drink american piss-lager and watch scripted pseudo-sports.

8)

Why do yuo hate Amerrica?  8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on October 27, 2005, 12:04:15 AM
I thought I already explained that.

because America is hell-bent on ensuring that people like me NEVER get a piece of the pie.

and since I am hell-bent on getting a piece of the pie, relocation seems like a fairly obvious decision. Also, nationalism is fucking retarded.

for a better explanation of why than I can come up with on my own, check out this link: http://www.jeffvail.net/2005/05/love-your-nation-state.html

8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Cain on October 27, 2005, 12:07:04 AM
Its a good one that.  Wish I had read it before writing my essay on nationalism.  Oh, and I'm just along for my own benefit also.  Human nature never changes, so any ideology is incapable of overcoming our "flaws".  We're damned regardless, and we're free.  May as well have some fun before you leave.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: agent compassion on October 27, 2005, 12:52:39 AM
Also, if it looks like it's already been through a sports fan's bladder, does it really qualify as beer?
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 27, 2005, 01:31:10 AM
Quote from: East Coast HustleI thought I already explained that.

because America is hell-bent on ensuring that people like me NEVER get a piece of the pie.

and since I am hell-bent on getting a piece of the pie, relocation seems like a fairly obvious decision. Also, nationalism is fucking retarded.

for a better explanation of why than I can come up with on my own, check out this link: http://www.jeffvail.net/2005/05/love-your-nation-state.html

8)

This is the correct angry prole.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 27, 2005, 02:46:57 AM
Quote from: East Coast HustleI thought I already explained that.

because America is hell-bent on ensuring that people like me NEVER get a piece of the pie.

and since I am hell-bent on getting a piece of the pie, relocation seems like a fairly obvious decision. Also, nationalism is fucking retarded.

for a better explanation of why than I can come up with on my own, check out this link: http://www.jeffvail.net/2005/05/love-your-nation-state.html

8)

Cheese and Rice, it was just a joke! Of course I know why you hate America.  :wink:
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Donkeyotay on October 27, 2005, 04:44:26 AM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeNow the question is: are all revolutions completly futile?

what about the velvet revolution?

(http://www.backwardglances.com/images/velvet%20hot%20pants%20set.jpg)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 27, 2005, 04:45:10 AM
Quote from: Donkeyotay
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeNow the question is: are all revolutions completly futile?

what about the velvet revolution?

(http://www.backwardglances.com/images/velvet%20hot%20pants%20set.jpg)

Why?  WHY?
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 27, 2005, 04:46:35 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Donkeyotay
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeNow the question is: are all revolutions completly futile?

what about the velvet revolution?

(http://www.backwardglances.com/images/velvet%20hot%20pants%20set.jpg)

Why?  WHY?

Now THAT ones a duh, because he can.  8)
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 27, 2005, 04:48:05 AM
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Donkeyotay
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_WannabeNow the question is: are all revolutions completly futile?

what about the velvet revolution?

(http://www.backwardglances.com/images/velvet%20hot%20pants%20set.jpg)

Why?  WHY?

Now THAT ones a duh, because he can.  8)

Oops.  What the HELL was *I* thinking?  :oops:

TGRR,
Is always surprised when his own weapons are turned on him.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Donkeyotay on October 27, 2005, 04:50:32 AM
Something about

'Moral imperative'
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: B_M_W on October 27, 2005, 04:50:35 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Buddhist_Monk_Wannabe
Now THAT ones a duh, because he can.  8)

Oops.  What the HELL was *I* thinking?  :oops:

TGRR,
Is always surprised when his own weapons are turned on him.

It happends to the best of us.  :wink:
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 27, 2005, 04:52:42 AM
Quote from: DonkeyotaySomething about

'Moral imperative'

Nobody likes a smartass. :lol:
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 27, 2005, 05:21:58 AM
Wow...a pink crushed velvet shortsuit with RUFFLES.
Title: Re: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 27, 2005, 05:24:26 AM
Quote from: eroticThe revolution will probably be televised.



The revolution will be born in some stoner,Äôs basement.  The revolution will be an ongoing prank in History class.  The revolution will not be defined.  The revolution will be acknowledged with a quiet nod.  The revolution will gain momentum.

The revolution will be identified by recent college grads with Graphic Design and Marketing degrees burning holes in their pockets.  The revolution will be pitched to CEOs of multinational corporations.  The revolution will be analyzed, autopsied, sliced, diced, and stuck to corkboards with pushpins.  The revolution will be cleaned up, polished, waxed, packaged, and tied in a nice bow.

The revolution will be leaked to the media.  The revolution will show up on the catwalks of Paris, Italy, and Japan.  The revolution will have its own burger.  The revolution will have its theme song in heavy rotation on MTV.  The revolution will be on Leno, Letterman, Conan, and The Daily Show.  The revolution will turn down an appearance on Carson Daly.

The revolution will be sold at Hot Topic.

The revolution will be identified as a ,Äútrend,Äù by CNN.  The revolution will be reported on by self-proclaimed Experts In The Field.  The revolution will be blamed for teen pregnancy.  The revolution will be synonymous with the ,ÄúTwinkie defense,Äù in courts of law.

The revolution will host a concert series to help the homeless.  The revolution will be managed by financial advisors, lawyers, ad agencies, and media planners.  The revolution will be publicly traded in the stock market.  The revolution will be remixed by P. Diddy and released exclusively on iTunes.

The revolution will have sub-genres.  The revolution will suffer an anti-revolution backlash.  The revolution will appear on an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger.  The revolution will generate buzzwords that will be used by your parents trying to sound hip.  The revolution will be in a Cadillac commercial.  The revolution will be adopted by pre-pubescent girls trying to act ,Äúgrown up,Äù.

The revolution will be derided by Bill Mahr, Rush Limbaugh, & Al Franken.  The revolution will be mocked by Jon Stewart, Steve Colbert, and Tina Fey.  The revolution will appear on Best Week Ever.  The revolution will become an automatic punchline.  The revolution will be relegated to a question in the next edition of Trivial Pursuit.

The revolution will be televised.  After all, there's market share to consider.

This was fucking awesome, btw.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: LMNO on October 27, 2005, 02:18:08 PM
Hey, thanks.

That means a lot, coming from you.


It takes a while for me to get these things going.  I dunno how y'all do it.
Title: Rant Contest Entry: Talkin' Bout A Revolution.
Post by: Horab Fibslager on October 27, 2005, 02:20:27 PM
i beat my staff of suepr inteleigent monkeys with a stick until the ol creative juices start flowing.

and then i call for a mop up and get to work.

i hate the revolution.