Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 29, 2005, 08:24:56 PM

Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 29, 2005, 08:24:56 PM
I woke up thinking about this story.  I also woke up in a great deal of pain, but whatever.

A teacher of mine (who was an interesting character in himself) used to be a veteranary aide for a livestock vet.  He had many entertaining stories, and this is one of them.

One day a man brought in his horse.  It was a big ol' draught horse, and on its shoulder was a big ol'...something.  A growth, perhaps?  Whatever it was, it was freakin huge.  Bigger than your head.  Lord knows why this guy didn't bring the horse in sooner.  

So the vet and his helpers kind of look each other, shrug, and the vet just decides hell, might as well cut into the sucker and see what's up.  So he cuts into it and out shoots--spurts, rather--a rain of maggots, pus, and stench.  The poor vet is drenched.  Hundreds and hundreds of maggots.  Remember, this thing was huge.  

So they cleaned out the wound, it took forever but they got it done.  The owner, horrified, takes his horse home, and the vet goes home to have a shower and a lie-down and burn his clothes.

End of story, right?  Wrong!

A couple weeks later, the owner brings his horse back.  There's a little...thing...on the horse's neck.  On the opposite side of the big thing.  Again, the vet shrugs and cuts into it.  Out spills just a little bit of pus and one maggot.  

One maggot.


That little bastard had chewed its way through the poor horse to get to the other side!!  The horse had a hole going all the way through!  Like a worm in an apple.  Man, that's just disgusting.



Moral of the story:  I'm sure I could make this into an interesting parable about politics or something but I'm too lazy.  DIY, damnit.
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: LHX on October 29, 2005, 08:29:03 PM
damn

that must have been one hungry maggot
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: Fizzwitz Glorypoop on October 29, 2005, 08:54:11 PM
I... didn't want to read that.  :(
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: agent compassion on October 29, 2005, 09:02:45 PM
That poor hosrie...did it recover?
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: LMNO on October 31, 2005, 03:08:10 PM
Wait a sec...

Maggots only eat dead tissue.




LMNO
-Skeptical.
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: Enrico Salazar on October 31, 2005, 03:14:22 PM
Same thing happened to Enrico's head a few months ago.  

Enrico is fine.
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on October 31, 2005, 07:01:21 PM
There are some maggots that eat living tissue.  Check out the human botfly if you have the time.
Title: A story I may have told before
Post by: Horab Fibslager on October 31, 2005, 07:20:44 PM
also necrotic tissue andwhatnot.