Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Marl Fublewonker on November 30, 2005, 10:12:04 PM

Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Marl Fublewonker on November 30, 2005, 10:12:04 PM
Let me begin by saying that this is more of a story than a rant. A true story however.

   So, the Red Cross came by my area today, and, feeling that others needed it more than I, I decided to donate a pint of blood. After sitting through about an hour's worth of questions pertaining to my travelling situation and sexual life (did you know you can't donate blood if you're gay?) I was finally admitted into the room to have my blood sucked from my arm. I was prepped and ready to have the needle inserted, and the technician (not nurse... technician) said, "This won't hurt a bit." It wasn't that bad... yet. After about 20 seconds I was a little woozy. Then after another minute I felt supremely dizzy. I didn't think anything of it. I thought it was just the effect of losing blood. Then I blacked out.

   A seizure! I had a fucking seizure! I started coming to to the sound of people screaming my name and some old guy in a Santa Clause hat holding my legs up. My first thought was, "Fuck! Santa Clause!" There was a searing pain in my arm where the needle was. I looked down to see why it hurt so much only to see the technician holding a bloody rag to the inside of my gushing elbow. Apparently during the seizure the needle was accidentaly ripped from my arm. This was an experience I will not soon forget.

   So, in short, fuck you Red Cross. Don't expect another donation of any sort from me again.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: The Doctor on November 30, 2005, 10:12:54 PM
:shock:  :shock:  :shock:
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Cain on November 30, 2005, 10:15:24 PM
Yeah, that sounds about right.  My father always had a horror story about one time when he tried to donate that it took over 20 jabs with the needle to find his vein.  I think that was a technician too, though fortunately in his case a nurse saw something wasnt right and did it properly, in one easy go.

Hows your arm doing?
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on November 30, 2005, 10:18:14 PM
You can't trust those people to pop a vein correctly. The Red Cross are notorious fuck ups with that procedure.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: The Doctor on November 30, 2005, 10:19:37 PM
And the needles are huge.  :?
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on November 30, 2005, 10:41:54 PM
I decided a long time ago the question and answer thing was way too annoying and pretty much pointless.  A lot of people who are carrying the HIV virus don't know it.  Then there was the case of someone who died after having been exposed to West Nile virus, donated her organs and at least one of the recipients died.  Can you imagine surviving transplant surgery and dying from some stupid virus, that would suck.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Marl Fublewonker on November 30, 2005, 10:46:37 PM
Quote from: CainHows your arm doing?

It's okay. There was no really bad damage, just kind of painful.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on December 01, 2005, 01:32:48 AM
How did getting a needle in the arm cause you to have a seizure?  Isn't that kind of your fault, not theirs?
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 01, 2005, 01:55:09 AM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of GodHow did getting a needle in the arm cause you to have a seizure?  Isn't that kind of your fault, not theirs?

Vagal something response.  Can make a person faint for no apparent reason, not sure about the seizure part.  One of those things you don't know you have it until something like this happens.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2005, 02:02:17 AM
what my brain saw:
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy
Vaginal something response.  Can make a person faint for no apparent reason, not sure about the seizure part.  One of those things you don't know you have it until something like this happens.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: The Doctor on December 01, 2005, 02:04:33 AM
:lol:  Me too.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Bella on December 01, 2005, 02:06:31 AM
Yeah, so did I.
So I got a beer to clear my head and still thought that's what she meant to write.

Sorry about the whole needle thing, Marl.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Marl Fublewonker on December 01, 2005, 02:43:09 AM
Thanks for the concern folks. I've been shaken up about it all day.

By the way Rabbid Badger, they said that a seizure is a rare reaction to the suction they use to remove the blood. It sounds plausible.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: The seer on December 01, 2005, 02:48:20 AM
Heh I know a guy who was turned down from the army because whenever he gets any kind of wound the muscles around it contract so tight they stop the bloodflow. I mean COME ON! he's a walking fucking tourniquet!  :lol:

But yeah. I'm no big fan of needles. But I'd rather not donate blood. I'd feel very christian answering 'no' to 98% of those questions.  :lol:
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 01, 2005, 03:40:42 AM
Quote from: Marl FublewonkerThanks for the concern folks. I've been shaken up about it all day.

By the way Rabbid Badger, they said that a seizure is a rare reaction to the suction they use to remove the blood. It sounds plausible.

You guya are all so funny  :roll:  :P  :lol:  Glad I made everyone's day and that class with the 10 pound book did actually come in handy.

Anway, the vagas nerve is like the 10th cranial nerve.  It has control of a lot of stuff, like blood pressure, heart rate, stomache acid and I forget what all else.  It is a bunch of stuff that doesn't seem related that much and it is weird that it is all the same nerve.  They(tm) have experiemtned with cutting the nerve for people with sever ulcers, this was before the whole bacteria theory of ulcers and Prilosec.  Not much point in trying to figure out if it is that unless you start passing out a lot.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Cain on December 01, 2005, 09:11:08 AM
Oh yeah, the Vagus nerve.  Thats plausible.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: DJRubberducky on December 01, 2005, 03:19:51 PM
I have donated several times without incident, though admittedly I've taken more jabs from Carter Bloodcare than Red Cross.  I've also had a couple of incidents where I felt woozy, and one time where I wanted them to take from my left arm, but they fucked up the stick and so I had a bruise in my left elbow and ended up having to donate from the right arm anyway.  But for the most part, as long as I can pass the iron test, I'm in and out relatively quickly, and the worst part is the god-damn-fuckin' tourniquet.  Fuckin' HATE that thing.

And I expect the blood-donation needles need to be huge or else your body will clot the venipuncture site before they get the full pint.  Three times now I've sold small quantities (50-100mL) of my blood for one of the departments on campus to use in research, and the first time was completely painless - I expect that's because they could get away with a smaller needle since they didn't need very much.

(I also suspect the smaller needle is why my arm didn't bruise this last time I went in to sell.  The girl missed the stick, and I started getting seriously squicked by what she was doing in an attempt to get the needle into a vein now that it was already in my arm.  Guh, I'm getting the bad wibbles even describing it that generically.)
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 01, 2005, 03:49:08 PM
The sticking my arm doesn't bother me.  Yeah they need a big needle to get the blood out fast enough.  At the doctors they had to stick me twice one time because my blood began to clot.  The only problem I have now is I have had so much blood drawn that I have scar tissue building up over my veins so I usually bruise now, especially if I am dehydrated, like those stupid fasting first thing in the morning things, I hate those.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: hooplala on December 01, 2005, 04:09:39 PM
Quote from: Rabid Badger of GodHow did getting a needle in the arm cause you to have a seizure?  Isn't that kind of your fault, not theirs?

I don't know that you can consider a seizure anyone's fault.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Cain on December 01, 2005, 04:10:29 PM
You decided to have a seizure, live with the consequences damnit!
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: hooplala on December 01, 2005, 04:45:40 PM
I think I'll have a seizure right now.

Actually, I have a few things I need to do first, so I will reschedule my seizure for about 1:30 this afternoon.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 01, 2005, 04:51:25 PM
Well, everyone was really surprised when my nephew had to get his cast off and passed out.  He is about Turd's size only a little taller and slightly wider at the shoulder's, so it's not like anyone exactly wanted to try to catch him or anything.  That was the first clue they had that he has some abnormal vagal response.  The way I hear it, he turns kinda green, his eyes roll back, then out he goes.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: hooplala on December 01, 2005, 04:57:59 PM
What's that called again?

Vasovagal Syncope or something?  Doesn't Bush have that?
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on December 01, 2005, 05:20:52 PM
Quote from: Baron von Hoopla
Quote from: Rabid Badger of GodHow did getting a needle in the arm cause you to have a seizure?  Isn't that kind of your fault, not theirs?

I don't know that you can consider a seizure anyone's fault.
By fault I meant that it was his body's response to getting stuck, not them sticking him, that caused the seizure.

I don't think I could ever bring myself to give blood.  Terror doesn't even begin to describe my feelings about needles.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: hooplala on December 01, 2005, 05:24:47 PM
I had a numbnuts nurse take blood from me when I was ten, she poked in and didn't hit a vein, poked again and didn't hit a vein really jammed it in and blood spurted all over the room.  No lie.

I used to watch when they took blood, now I get very woozy at the site of it, so I won't be giving blood any time soon either.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2005, 07:57:39 PM
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWell, everyone was really surprised when my nephew had to get his cast off and passed out.  He is about Turd's size only a little taller and slightly wider at the shoulder's, so it's not like anyone exactly wanted to try to catch him or anything.

I admit, I'm mildly curious as to how you'd know how wide I am across the shoulders.

was that YOU who installed the camera in my smoke detector?
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Enrico Salazar on December 01, 2005, 08:07:22 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWell, everyone was really surprised when my nephew had to get his cast off and passed out.  He is about Turd's size only a little taller and slightly wider at the shoulder's, so it's not like anyone exactly wanted to try to catch him or anything.

I admit, I'm mildly curious as to how you'd know how wide I am across the shoulders.

was that YOU who installed the camera in my smoke detector?

No.  Was Enr!co.

He wanted to know how Turd got the sausage so spicey in the Salazore Sausage Special, so he sneaked into ventilation system and set up camera.  Is nice view.

Oh.  And Enr!co prefers the mesh panties to the Y-fronts.  Sprouting Hair was Enr!co's nickname in grammer school.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 01, 2005, 08:22:15 PM
ha!

if Enrico was actually watching, he would know that I shave my balls, so it doesn't matter which style of panties I wear.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Enrico Salazar on December 01, 2005, 08:26:06 PM
Enr!co was not talking about your balls.  He was talking about your ass.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 01, 2005, 10:26:15 PM
Quote from: East Coast Hustle
Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyWell, everyone was really surprised when my nephew had to get his cast off and passed out.  He is about Turd's size only a little taller and slightly wider at the shoulder's, so it's not like anyone exactly wanted to try to catch him or anything.

I admit, I'm mildly curious as to how you'd know how wide I am across the shoulders.

was that YOU who installed the camera in my smoke detector?
:oops:

Actually, last I knew he was wearing a 3X and I thought you ware a 2X, but I might be mistaken.  Anyway, he is down to about 320, I think.  The kid takes up a whole doorway.
Title: This Won't Hurt a Bit
Post by: Bella on December 01, 2005, 10:57:27 PM
Quote from: The Monster SalazarEnr!co was not talking about your balls.  He was talking about your ass.
Enr!co, you are such a bad man.
This made me inhale my cough drop and if I wasn't already dead, I'd be dead.