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Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:17:34 PM

Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:17:34 PM
Act 1.

[Mangrove is ambling about his new, snow-covered neighbourhood. He passes a person out jogging]

Mang: Hi! Merry Christmas!

n00b1: WTF?? Merry WHAT!?? You fucking elitist Christan nazi fundamentalist scumbag oppressor!!

Mang: huh?

n00b1: Whatsamatter with you, buddy? Didn't you know it's HAPPY HOLIDAYS? [n00b storms off]


Act 2

[Mangrove is at his local convenience store and meets another resident]

Mang: [hesitantly] Happy Holidays?

n00b2: WTF??? HAPPY WHAT!?? I'm so sick of you liberal, nigger & jew loving, dope smoking faggots undermining our good, Christian, American way of life!!! [whacks Mang on the nose] CHRISTMAS IS STILL ABOUT CHRIST YOU FUCKER!!!
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LMNO on December 13, 2005, 09:19:50 PM
Correct greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Cain on December 13, 2005, 09:21:05 PM
Just say "Christmas sucks and no, I am not interested in your silly religious cult".
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:22:44 PM
Quote from: eroticCorrect greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"

[scribbles out 'happy holidays' from LMN0's card]

ok..so 'fuck off you glorious faggot' it is then!



hmm...i don't think mrs mang' is going to go for it.


sooo...when did asking people to be 'happy' or 'merry' became a controversial act?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LMNO on December 13, 2005, 09:23:28 PM
Actually, catch them all off guard, and start wishing everyone a happy Hanukkah.





Then, accuse them of being anti-Semites.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:25:19 PM
Quote from: eroticActually, catch them all off guard, and start wishing everyone a happy Hanukkah.





Then, accuse them of being anti-Semites.

:lol:

i like that.

i'm sticking with 'merry mithras'
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Bella on December 13, 2005, 09:26:56 PM
I usually just say something non-specifically inflamatory - like, "Hiya, hope you're enjoying the holiday season." And then they start bitching about the traffic and the crowds at the malls and I feel smug because I don't have to deal with any of that stuff and we both go away happy.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:28:10 PM
How about I just approach people and say "Happy!" ?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Cain on December 13, 2005, 09:29:24 PM
Try the "I hate holidays vibe".  It works.  People stop annoying you if they see you glower at tinsel.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: fluffy on December 13, 2005, 09:30:52 PM

bah humbug
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:31:08 PM
So what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: fluffy on December 13, 2005, 09:34:05 PM
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiSo what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?


isn't that the holiday african americans invented
so they don't have to worship some white guy in robes?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:36:49 PM
Quote from: fluffy
Quote from: Pope T.Mangrove xviiSo what's the low down on 'kwanzaa'?


isn't that the holiday african americans invented
so they don't have to worship some white guy in robes?



this never caught on in the UK. i think the first time i ever heard the word 'kwanzaa' was about 10 years ago when they started showing 'rikki lake' in england.

is kwanzaa like festivus?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: hooplala on December 13, 2005, 09:39:37 PM
It's more like Festivus than it is like the Salazorian "Box Day" Enrico was telling me about.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Cain on December 13, 2005, 09:41:01 PM
Why did you have to mention Rikki Lake?  That show scarred my childhood. Thats why I take an unhealthy interest in America, because that damn program brainwashed me  :x
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 13, 2005, 09:41:15 PM
so do the scientologists have a wintery gift-giving day?
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: The Doctor on December 13, 2005, 10:04:49 PM
Quote from: Tom CruiseYou may think you know about Christmas, but you don't know Christmas like I do! It's an alien conspiracy! *spaz*


I just tell them to have a 'nice diurnal anomaly,' and by the time they figure out what that means, I'm long gone.



:wink:
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy on December 14, 2005, 12:03:35 AM
I like Happy Chanukkah, not ch like chalk, but that sound like you're trying to clear your throat.  Or start singing Adam Sandler's Hannukah Song.

Some people think, that Ebenezor Scrooge is,
Well, he's not but guess who is
All 3 Stooges

What I usually do is completely ignore it, treat this like anay other day unless someone says something.  

As far as I have been able to figure out, Kwanzaa is a cross between traditional African(possibly slave, not sure how far back the traditions go)celebrations, Christmas and Hannukkah.  The celebrations go for, I think 8 days.  There are presents, but there is also a theme of family and responsibility.  Let's keep in mind I got this from Elmo's holiday special  :lol: The show had Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa and I think there may have been something else.

Virgin Mobile has some weirdo holiday thing, Chrismahanukwanzakah, or something.  If it was easier to say, I would be using that  :lol:
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LHX on December 14, 2005, 12:39:19 AM
just ask everybody for change
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on December 14, 2005, 01:03:56 AM
Quote from: eroticCorrect greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"

The correct greeting is "Happy consumer whore day!"
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 14, 2005, 01:08:55 AM
Quote from:  
Quote from: eroticCorrect greeting:  "Fuck off, you glorious faggot!"

The correct greeting is "Happy consumer whore day!"

This is the correct answer.

TGRR,
Won't let himself hope, though.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LHX on December 14, 2005, 01:10:29 AM
the way things are going

people are gonna start celebrating boxing day more than xmas




i think happy x-mas is the classic term by the way - as long as you pronounce it x-mas
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 14, 2005, 01:11:16 AM
Quote from: LHXthe way things are going

people are gonna start celebrating boxing day more than xmas




i think happy x-mas is the classic term by the way - as long as you pronounce it x-mas

Boxing day is not celebrated in America(tm).

We NEED Guy Fawkes day, though.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Cain on December 14, 2005, 01:12:08 AM
[Jesus Squad] One nation under GOD!  Its a Constitutional duty to ENJOY CHRISTMAS or you will BURN in HELL!!![/Jesus Squad]
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LHX on December 14, 2005, 01:14:41 AM
fuck man

this city gets crippled on boxing day


it is so dumb
its



ahh fuck it


nothing surprising i guess


happy consumer whore day

'save by spending' you fucking morons
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 14, 2005, 01:16:10 AM
Quote from: LHXhappy consumer whore day

'save by spending' you fucking morons

IF I SAVE ANOTHER $1200, I CAN PAY THE RENT!
\
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/joshua.gif)
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Verthaine on December 14, 2005, 01:20:54 AM
Just wish them a happy Erismass and let them wonder.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 14, 2005, 01:24:15 AM
Quote from: VerthaineJust wish them a happy Erismass and let them wonder.

I prefer to wish them a Happy Kwanza.

TGRR,
Isn't remotely Black.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: fnordiscordia on December 14, 2005, 01:59:32 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: LHXhappy consumer whore day

'save by spending' you fucking morons

IF I SAVE ANOTHER $1200, I CAN PAY THE RENT!
\
(http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/joshua.gif)

THERE NEEDS TO BE A JOSHUA DAY!
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: Mangrove on December 14, 2005, 08:18:05 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: LHXthe way things are going

people are gonna start celebrating boxing day more than xmas




i think happy x-mas is the classic term by the way - as long as you pronounce it x-mas

Boxing day is not celebrated in America(tm).

We NEED Guy Fawkes day, though.

Nov 5th 2006 - 1st ever Guy Fawkes in Connecticut!

I discussed this with Mrs Mang'. She doesn't care much for July 4th and Guy Fawkes in America is just surreal.

n00b: Mang? Why are ya lettin' off fire crackers in November?
Mang: Well, funny you should ask.
n00b: I am asking.
Mang: You see n00b, I'm letting off these fireworks to celebrate the day that a conspiracy to blow up the King and the British government was foiled.
n00b: And?
Mang: And we set off fireworks and burn effigies of the poor Spanish Catholic schmuck who copped all the blame.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LMNO on December 14, 2005, 08:23:34 PM
Be sure to have a severe british accent when you say that.
Title: Mangrove's Seasonal Dilemma
Post by: LHX on December 14, 2005, 09:10:29 PM
Quote from: VerthaineJust wish them a happy Erismass and let them wonder.

pronounce that right and it could almost sound like kristmas
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