Principia Discordia

Crafty Discordians meet here!

Looks like a number of us like to knit, crochet, embroider etc. so this thread will be a great place to share tricks of the trade, post fun patterns we've found or links to helpful websites.

I'm working on a very simple scarf right now, but I found a site that shows you how to incorporate beads into knitting--so even if you only know the simplest of knitting stitches you can make your handywork look amazing! I'm trying it out now, it's not complicated and so far it's looking great!

Check it out: http://www.knittersreview.com/article_how_to.asp?article=/review/profile/020502_a.asp

Also: I would love to know how to crochet. Does anyone have any pointers for getting started? Books, sites, or personal tips would be most welcome.

I posted this on the bar and grill a little while ago.......looky, I want to knit like her.

"I so like this person and her ezine, The AntiCraft: " http://www.theanticraft.com/index.htm

(http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL940/4244040/8904467/125539932.jpg)

(http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL940/4244040/8904467/125539939.jpg)

Needles and cords and threads and other implements of tortu, er, I mean creativity, yeah, that's it  :lol:

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomI posted this on the bar and grill a little while ago.......looky, I want to knit like her.

"I so like this person and her ezine, The AntiCraft: " http://www.theanticraft.com/index.htm

(http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL940/4244040/8904467/125539932.jpg)

(http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL940/4244040/8904467/125539939.jpg)

That rules! Knitting with wire? Super cool.
If you take a look at her Swamp Witch scarf--that's the kind of scarf I'm making right now and it looks great with beads added.

I want to knit a voodoo doll! Woo hoo! New project.  :D

Quote from: Eldora, Oracle of AlchemyNeedles and cords and threads and other implements of tortu, er, I mean creativity, yeah, that's it  :lol:

Knitting on public transit is best way to not get pestered IMO. Nobody messes with a woman with two sharp needles in her hands.  :lol:

I've not taken up knitting or crochet, but I've seen the book on crocheting with wire and it fascinates me.

I do sewing, calligraphy, and a little macrame.  (I've known how to do macrame for years, and my bellydance troupe occasionally wears beaded macrame belts.

I saw something on the net about knitting with wire and it looked very cool.
So does the idea of macrame belts.
I have some that I bought, but it would be more fun to make them.
Do you have patterns, DJ?

Yes and no. :D  My teacher charted things out on graph paper before we actually assembled the belts.  The down side to her method is that it depends on itself - when she took our measurements in order to draft our patterns, she took it in terms of beads, not in terms of inches.  Using my thumb and my memory, I'd like to say 2.5 beads/inch is a decent guesstimate, but she refuses to even try.

The basic technique is fairly straightforward for those already familiar with macrame, though.  Sneak peek at a finished product:
http://www.whosesarinow.com/bellybeauties/BB2.asp

SUPPLIES:
1/2" thick foam core board (poster-size - dunno exact dimensions)

3 art clips (oversized binder clips will also work in a pinch)

10-12 skeins 2mm Amy Cord (macramesuperstore.com is where we shop)

1000-2000 plastic pony beads (if using metallic beads, spray with clear sealant first or all the shiny will rub off and you will be sad)

One paper-wrapped twist tie (like you get in the produce section of the supermarket)

Hot glue and gun

----

INSTRUCTIONS:

Open one skein of cord.  Cut three lengths that are twice the long dimension of the foam board.  Wrapping the cord around either side of the board is the easiest way to get that measurement.

Now that you have three lengths, slip them to the foam board and braid them together.  Firmly, but not so tight that the braid has "bubbles" in it.  This is your "waistband".  You'll be tying these ends together to wear the belt, and you'll be mounting all the other cords to this.

Measure from your waist (or where you want the belt to start on you) down to about mid-thigh.  Add a few inches.  Add several, actually - you're skinny.  Now, quadruple this measurement.  This is how long you need to cut the cords that will be making up the width (height?) of the belt.  (My teacher is a fellow big girl, and she'd always used "4x desired length" as her fomula.  Apparently this formula falls apart with skinny people - many of my classmates had enough cord to actually knot the belt part, but had almost nothing left for a fringe.)  You need to cut two cords for every bead in your measurement.  Again, I can't guarantee my conversion rate really works.  I'd suggest starting with about 80% of the projected number and then trying it on after you add the first row of beads, to see if you need more.

Mount all the belt cords to the waistband using clove hitches.

Starting from the far left, knot a row of square knots.

Skip over to cord #3 from the left and knot another row.  Y'know, offset from the first row.

Tear the paper off the twist tie; fold the twist tie in half to form a very skinny U shape.

Starting from the far left again: take cords #2 and #3 and rest them in the twist tie.  Thread a pony bead on the twist tie, and gently push it onto the cords.  Wiggle the bead up to the top and tie a square knot under it. Repeat across the row.

(Stop here and try on the belt to see if you need to add or remove beads.  Future steps will assume the belt is fitted properly.)

Add another row of beads, starting the first knot with cord #3 (y'know, like you did the second row of square knots.)

Keep alternating rows of beads until you have the belt as tall / wide as you like.  By skipping knots, you can make triangular or scalloped patterns - again that's more a question for the graph paper.

To make the belt fringe, thread a few beads on to each individual cord.  Tie the cord with a triple round knot (keep tying round knots on top of themselves to make it big and fat), then put a blob of hot glue onto each knot and shove the beads down into the glue to hold one of them in place.  Trim the cord just under the knot.  Lighting the cord to fuse it is NOT recommended - it creates sharp edges that will snag your clothing.

P.S.  The fringe in the picture was created by threading one bead and knotting it in the middle of the belt cord, then threading on the rest.  In such a case, you only need a single knot under that "floating" bead.  Maybe a double if the cord is particularly skinny (I found yellow to be skinnier than light blue, for example, even though both are billed at 2mm).

Wow......that's so cool. It's beautiful.
My macrame belts are nothing like that one.

Thank you so  much.
I think I'll order some supplies and give it a try.

That belt was beautiful! Looks like it would be easy to make it a more casual belt by modifying it just a little and forgoing the fringe or making it shorter.

I'm going to give it a try! Although the only macrame I've ever made was a flower pot holder. So I may have some questions.  :)

hand sewing is teh slow.
i need a machine so the world will be happy  :(

Quote from: mian tiao Fredhand sewing is teh slow.
i need a machine so the world will be happy  :(

Me, too.
Right now if I want to sew something I have to do it by hand.
Did you make all those nifty outfits by hand, Fred?
You do good work.

Hand sowing = the suck.

I wish I had a sewing machine too! Why are sewing machines so expensive? I'm continuing to hope to find some reasonable used version, so far, no luck.

Back to knitting info. If anyone is learning right now, this is a super simple project that will go over gangbusters with any fan of Dr. Who that you might know. It's the Doctor's scarf!

Here are the step by step instructions and a pic of the finished product.

http://www.knitting-and.com/knitting/patterns/drwho/drwhoscarves.htm

For those who are super new to knitting--garter stitch is the most basic stitch, so if you're taking a class or someone is showing you how to knit, this is the first thing they'd teach you how to do.

http://knitting.about.com/library/blgarter.htm

And if you really don't know how to knit at all and want to learn, let me know and I can explain the basics--which are enough for the Dr. Who scarf!

Ps: this thread makes me happy.  :D  :P  :D

I just remembered another project I have - when I was a kid, I used to do latch-hook rugs with the canvas mesh and the little snips of yarn.  I actually found some of the mesh in a fabric store a while back, and bought some yarn to make my own snips.

Now I just need to go stare at the back of one of the project kits to remember how to actually get the yarn onto the canvas. :P

Knitting class started on MW this week.
I bought some cotton yard and I'm going to make purple and gold dishcloths.

Knitted dishcloths sound so much stupider than they really are.
My grandma made me some once and they were awesome.
Course they're made with 100% cotton yarn - not the wooly stuff.

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomKnitting class started on MW this week.
I bought some cotton yard and I'm going to make purple and gold dishcloths.

Knitted dishcloths sound so much stupider than they really are.
My grandma made me some once and they were awesome.
Course they're made with 100% cotton yarn - not the wooly stuff.

That sounds pretty cool actually. I might have to go over there and find out what you ladies are learning.

You really should. Classes are in the Center of Teaching forums.  It's too late to sign for the class, but since the lessons are all posted on the forums anyway - I reckon it's not too late after all.  :P

I'm over there as Amber Wynd - cuz I wasn't going to stick around and thought I'd be smartass and choose a paganish sounding name and then I liked MW and it was too late to change.

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomYou really should. Classes are in the Center of Teaching forums.  It's too late to sign for the class, but since the lessons are all posted on the forums anyway - I reckon it's not too late after all.  :P

I'm over there as Amber Wynd - cuz I wasn't going to stick around and thought I'd be smartass and choose a paganish sounding name and then I liked MW and it was too late to change.

That is too funny!
All I really want to do is snoop on any tips and techniques I don't know yet, so as long as the lessons are going to be posted, I'm there!

I don't sew, I don't drink,

I never have fun anymore.

i lost my scarf

I lost Jesus' Motorbike.

if you see a scarf while you are looking for the motorbike

it might be mine

Perhaps you can get one the the people here to make you another one.

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCPerhaps you can get one the the people here to make you another one.

Ask nicely and ye shall receive. Scarfs take 1-2 days to make. No bother.

Hugh, you really should try sewing drunk. It's fun! Trying to wear what you sewed, not as much fun, but that comes much later so why worry about it?

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCPerhaps you can get one the the people here to make you another one.

damn!

that sounds like a swell idea!

LHX - has a cold neck

Quote from: LHX

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCPerhaps you can get one the the people here to make you another one.

damn!

that sounds like a swell idea!

LHX - has a cold neck

dude, consider it a deal. this will take no time at all. what colour/colours ya want? super long or short?
we can figure out shipping deets later.

Toots knows cold necks = teh suck.

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: LHX

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCPerhaps you can get one the the people here to make you another one.

damn!

that sounds like a swell idea!

LHX - has a cold neck

dude, consider it a deal. this will take no time at all. what colour/colours ya want? super long or short?
we can figure out shipping deets later.

Toots knows cold necks = teh suck.

are you being serious?
because
that would be really cool

I'm totally being serious. The other ladies are just starting knitting classes so prolly can't help yet. And I've got a lot of time on my hands right now.
So--what colours?
How long?

Expect results in about 3-4 days.

I had the coolest scarf once
My mom knitted it
it was long enough to go around the neck once then hang down.
the ends of the scarf had been folded up and sewn to make lil pockets/gloves at the end

I loved that thing till it was in pieces

I have to make a scarf for the second project in the knitting class.
I love the idea of little pockets on the ends.

Thank you for that idea.

I ended up adding buttons to the ends when I got older this way I could secure my car keys when I wasnt wearing the scarfand didnt happen to have pockets

Pockets are an awesome idea! My "better" half is six feet tall and requested a scarf that would be long enough to wrap around the neck twice and then hang down to the ground--both sides of it. That took for ever to knit...most likely because I used needles that were too thin.

Pay attention to needle widths when you're starting out knitting, if you use the wrong one it can totally threw your whole project out of whack. I know this well from personal experience.  :oops:

LHX, I think pockets will be a must for yer scarf no?

The teacher in the class I signed up for told us what size needles to buy and also asked that everyone have a ruler with which to measure the gauge of the projects. I have a tendency to knit too tightly, so this will be a good thing.

Quote from: TootsPockets are an awesome idea! My "better" half is six feet tall and requested a scarf that would be long enough to wrap around the neck twice and then hang down to the ground--both sides of it. That took for ever to knit...most likely because I used needles that were too thin.

Pay attention to needle widths when you're starting out knitting, if you use the wrong one it can totally threw your whole project out of whack. I know this well from personal experience.  :oops:

LHX, I think pockets will be a must for yer scarf no?

damn

this sounds like a deluxe scarf


i never had a long scarf before so that sounds intriguing

they look warm


my old scarf was dark grey
but
brown is cool too


LHX = giddy

I love the long scarf.

Ever since watching Tom Baker as Dr. Who as a kid I wanted the longest scarf possible - and they really are very helpful when its -40.

Quote from: Baron von HooplaI love the long scarf.

Ever since watching Tom Baker as Dr. Who as a kid I wanted the longest scarf possible - and they really are very helpful when its -40.

i fuckin hate -40

Fortunately, that doesn't seem to happen where we live anymore.

maybe they installed heaters in the sky somewhere


this weather is really strange

I think it's hell breaking through.

i cant get my hopes up for that shit anymore


LHX - is in denial about getting his hopes up

Have patience.

Quote from: Baron von HooplaHave patience.

i need to borrow somebody elses


my patience fields have seen drought lately

Maybe try mugging Christians??  They've been waiting for their superhero to return to save them for over two thousand years.

Now THAT'S patience.

I'll stop threadjacking now.

Please carry on with your worship of Pallas Athene.  I will be standing over there, out of smiting range.

ill be in the corner thinking of a long grey scarf with pockets

Hah, they made me sew at school.  Or tried too.  Me and the teacher came to an understanding eventually, that I wouldnt spread gossipy little rumours and sabotage her machines so long as she didnt try to make me do something I didnt want.

Sometimes I think that sewing hands are the work of the devil.

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCSometimes I think that sewing hands are the work of the devil.

You say that like that's a bad thing.  :lol:

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCSometimes I think that sewing hands are the work of the devil.

Why do you think I like it so much? :twisted:

maybe this scarf will give me superpowers

Quote from: LHXmaybe this scarf will give me superpowers

Sadly, I doubt it. But scarves can be used as excellent choking implements. Think about THAT! Pockets also provide excellent hiding places for ninja stars.  :!:

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: LHXmaybe this scarf will give me superpowers

Sadly, I doubt it. But scarves can be used as excellent choking implements. Think about THAT! Pockets also provide excellent hiding places for ninja stars.  :!:

dear sweet heavens

i never thought i would be excited about a scarf


LHX - excited about a scarf

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of Doom

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCSometimes I think that sewing hands are the work of the devil.

Why do you think I like it so much? :twisted:

What about if I sew hands together?

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSC

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of Doom

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCSometimes I think that sewing hands are the work of the devil.

Why do you think I like it so much? :twisted:

What about if I sew hands together?

I do not want to talk for She Who Lurks Beyond, but this IS a Discordian craft corner and I think we can qualify flesh sewing as a good past time. Non?

Quote from: TootsI do not want to talk for She Who Lurks Beyond, but this IS a Discordian craft corner and I think we can qualify flesh sewing as a good past time. Non?

But of course we can. I wouldn't have it any other way.

This is a great place to go if you can't figure out a certain knitting technique, it's got animated demos!

http://www.dnt-inc.com/barhtmls/knittech.html

That's neat! Thanks, a lot.

I joined MW today, still waiting for my account to be activated but I read the knitting class posts already. This tip below from the class is awesome!

Tip: Don,Äôt bother buying expensive stitch counters ,Äì bobby pins or those little elastics for braces work equally well. I place a pin/elastic every ten stitches or rows to track my progress in very complex patterns. They cost pennies and work just as well. (Plus you don,Äôt have to remember to change the number of the dial of the counter!)

I had never heard of this so with hard paterns I'd typically keep a journal and write down exactly where I was and what I was supposed to do next. As you can imagine that's a pain in the behind. This class is great!  :D

MW has all that?

Quote from: TootsI joined MW today, still waiting for my account to be activated but I read the knitting class posts already. This tip below from the class is awesome!

It should sent a confirmation email to your inbox straight away.  Just click the link provided for self activation.

Quote from: Irreverend Hugh, KSCMW has all that?

About 30 sub forums.  I dont go there much because of the strain it puts on my right hand.

Although my opinion of dragons is the same as the ITB, IMO the circle of teaching threads are actually pretty damn cool.

Edit: some of the threads there are pretty damn cool.  :lol:

Quote from: TootsAlthough my opinion of dragons is the same as the ITB, IMO the circle of teaching threads are actually pretty damn cool.

Edit: some of the threads there are pretty damn cool.  :lol:

That's all to be expected on larger forums. Some threads are cool andsome suck.

Quote from: Toots
Edit: some of the threads there are pretty damn cool.  :lol:

Yeah. I especially love the teaching threads. The politics forum is fun to read, but I'm staying out of posting in that for now just because. I'm learning a lot about other cool stuff. Plus, I 'm taking immense pleasure from watching a couple of really clever trolls go about their quiet trolling business. I don't think anyone else has caught on yet. If they have, they're keeping quiet just like me.

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of Doom

Quote from: Toots
Edit: some of the threads there are pretty damn cool.  :lol:

Yeah. I especially love the teaching threads. The politics forum is fun to read, but I'm staying out of posting in that for now just because. I'm learning a lot about other cool stuff. Plus, I 'm taking immense pleasure from watching a couple of really clever trolls go about their quiet trolling business. I don't think anyone else has caught on yet. If they have, they're keeping quiet just like me.

This is very intriguing, I'm so curious who know who the quiet trolls are! I guess I'll just have to watch and see if I can figure it out (since I've been on the board for just over a month I seriously doubt I will ha ha).
Anyway, I love the idea of the circle of teaching. Learning about something cool for free and on your own schedule = super cool.

It begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

Wow, you look so much like my cousin that it's amazing.

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomWow, you look so much like my cousin that it's amazing.

Breaking news!!! Long lost cousins re-united on PD.com!!!  :lol:

Erm...I really hope your cousin is a girl.  :oops:

Yup. She's a girl and so's her sister.

Phew!

Zygote ninja scarf vs Felis cattus
(http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/5017/pushkin27rj.jpg)

heh heh heh

in other news: cloth is expensive. woe.
also, arm holes are evil because they always are sewed to tight >_<
and, large sewing projects for ap art make me kill kittens

Quote from: mian tiao Fredheh heh heh

in other news: cloth is expensive. woe.
also, arm holes are evil because they always are sewed to tight >_<
and, large sewing projects for ap art make me kill kittens

Noooo! Save the kittens!

Arm holes are the most evil beings in the universe methinks. Bastards.

that yarn looks warm

Quote from: mian tiao Fredheh heh heh

in other news: cloth is expensive. woe.
also, arm holes are evil because they always are sewed to tight >_<
and, large sewing projects for ap art make me kill kittens

I know. :cry:
What's up with fabric costing so much money all of a sudden?

I don't hate armholes as much since someone taught me to sew the sleeves on before sewing up the side seams on whatever is being constructed. I sew the shoulders seams together and then add the sleeves and then sew from the bottom of the sleeves to the bottom of the garment all at the same time. And I cut the armhole part extra loose so I don't feel trapped in my clothes.

Don't you just hate it when you try to take a dress off and get stuck in the armholes? It gives me claustrophobia and I worry about being stuck that way forever because I live by myself and maybe no one would notice I was trapped and I'd slowly die that way and then the paramedics would laugh at me when they come to haul my body off - how embarassing.  :oops:

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

You should make him something a little more badass than a scarf.

Quote from: fnordiscordia

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

You should make him something a little more badass than a scarf.

its a ninja scarf bro

with pockets

and big enough to cover my head

KNIT HIM A CLAWHAMMER BABY!

Quote from: LHX

Quote from: fnordiscordia

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

You should make him something a little more badass than a scarf.

its a ninja scarf bro

with pockets

and big enough to cover my head

Also, since developing from zygote into infant the ninja scarf has choked 3 dealers of WMDs. With one thread tied behind its back!
I thought that was pretty badass.

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of Doom

Don't you just hate it when you try to take a dress off and get stuck in the armholes? It gives me claustrophobia and I worry about being stuck that way forever because I live by myself and maybe no one would notice I was trapped and I'd slowly die that way and then the paramedics would laugh at me when they come to haul my body off - how embarassing.  :oops:

This is why you should always have someone with you when yo utake off your dress.

I'm sure you could find plenty of volunteers.

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

Toots, you look like someone I know.

I started knitting today!!! :P
So far, I have a whole entire 1x8 inch piece of what will soon be a dishcloth.

Woo hoo! Hurray knitting!

The best thing is that once you get past knitting a square there is really not that much more to it, just various combinations of knit and purl.

AND now you'll have the best dishcloths.  :D

Quote from: Baron von Hoopla

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

Toots, you look like someone I know.

Is it your cousin?  :lol:

Quote from: LHX

Quote from: fnordiscordia

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

You should make him something a little more badass than a scarf.

its a ninja scarf bro

with pockets

and big enough to cover my head

Fair enough.

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: Baron von Hoopla

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

Toots, you look like someone I know.

Is it your cousin?  :lol:

NOPE.  The best man at my wedding looked like you, strangely enough.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:

I was going to knit one of these:
(http://pics.livejournal.com/paperandglue/pic/000cc5h2.jpg)
But I was too lazy to find out how, so I bought one off ebay. :? Its pretty comfy and warm.

Quote from: Baron von Hoopla

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: Baron von Hoopla

Quote from: TootsIt begins!!

Here be a picture of the yarn I picked up today for LHX's ninja scarf. Also it be a picture of me!  :D  (taken in my office as you can see from the boxes and laptop case behinds me)

(http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/2941/lhxscf1ri.jpg)

Toots, you look like someone I know.

Is it your cousin?  :lol:

NOPE.  The best man at my wedding looked like you, strangely enough.

Hey oh! :lol:

You kind of look like my mom, except of course she's 40 years older and has white hair.  But the chin and cheek combination...man, that's weirdly similar.

Tppts, where's my scarf?

Quote from: Rabid Badger of GodYou kind of look like my mom, except of course she's 40 years older and has white hair.  But the chin and cheek combination...man, that's weirdly similar.

You know what's really strange, I get things like this a LOT. Like freaky-frequency a lot. I always look like someone's family member.
Perhaps I am but one of a bunch of clones reproduced over eons and implanted into unwitting families?  :shock:

nobody in my family made me a scarf

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSCTppts, where's my scarf?

Official Notice

Dear Tavarish Death to Poultry

Please to be informed the Department of Scarf Knittery did not receive your formal scarf application.

The Department is currently closed due to being under siege by baby ninja scarf which has slayed our most beloved mascot--the Cattus Felis beast, humped the leg of Scarf Knittery minister for three days in a row and vomitted yarn all over the secret files of the Knit Stazi.

The Department has also been overwhelmed by foreign demand for knitted voodoo dolls and claw hammers. However we shall take your letter under advisement.  We shall discuss with the ministers of knittering the feasibility of the project's completion before Spring weather. And if possible will happily send you a scarf of your own.

Hail Eris, All Hail the Department of Knittery.
Alfreda D. Fenderson
High Commision of Knittery Affairs Esq.

Quote from: LHXnobody in my family made me a scarf

This scarf be 100% pure wool yo! Warm AND largely waterproof (not totally but wool does a great job of keeping winter wetness away).

Now if I can only get it to stop humping everyone's legs...

Ya know toots, First, with eveyone seeming to recognize you from somewhere.... And you knitting scarves.....

.....And Thoes all being traits of a lil old lady.... ARE YOU THE WHOLE BOARDS GRAMMY !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Quote from: l0c0dantesYa know toots, First, with eveyone seeming to recognize you from somewhere.... And you knitting scarves.....

.....And Thoes all being traits of a lil old lady.... ARE YOU THE WHOLE BOARDS GRAMMY !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

If all your grammies were crass, swore like sailors and wore short skirts then sure. I'm your grammy! Now kindly get grammy that bottle of Scotch dear.

Actually, you look like someone I used to know too.

Are you a hippie?

Quote from: fnordiscordiaAre you a hippie?

NO! ::stomps off to sit in the corner and steam::
Hippies smell.

I was just asking because this girl was a hippie, not implying that you were a hippie.

It was kind of funny though.

Quote from: fnordiscordiaI was just asking because this girl was a hippie, not implying that you were a hippie.

It was kind of funny though.

Yes it was.  :twisted:
Thankfully I am not a hippie.
I don't think they allow hateful people to join.

::has hate for those who deserve it::

No, they'll let anyone join as long as they smoke lots of pot and don't bathe regularly.

Yeah, that whole "hygiene" thing is not all it's cracked up to be.

But still.

Nothing can convince me to hang out around so much patchouli oil.

I don't know about you, but I know some filthy fucking hippies.

Also, I didn't know patchouli was an oil.

Quote from: fnordiscordiaI don't know about you, but I know some filthy fucking hippies.

Also, I didn't know patchouli was an oil.

I have also known some hippies and they were fucking filthy indeed. And they always stank to high heaven of patchouli, it might be just a Canuckistani thing but here you can buy it in "essential oil" form. It's truly heinous.

Troof.

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: fnordiscordiaI don't know about you, but I know some filthy fucking hippies.

Also, I didn't know patchouli was an oil.

I have also known some hippies and they were fucking filthy indeed. And they always stank to high heaven of patchouli, it might be just a Canuckistani thing but here you can buy it in "essential oil" form. It's truly heinous.

Hippies and anarchists smell to the high heavens. Except the hippies think they can cover up their BO with patchouli.

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSC

Quote from: Toots

Quote from: fnordiscordiaI don't know about you, but I know some filthy fucking hippies.

Also, I didn't know patchouli was an oil.

I have also known some hippies and they were fucking filthy indeed. And they always stank to high heaven of patchouli, it might be just a Canuckistani thing but here you can buy it in "essential oil" form. It's truly heinous.

Hippies and anarchists smell to the high heavens. Except the hippies think they can cover up their BO with patchouli.

Fnordiscordia was spared the patchouli terror. Why did we have to suffer? Oh the unfairness of life.

I'm sure I've smelled it before, although I'd probably label the smell as "filthy hippie stink".

Does patchouli come in other forms?

I saw a couple of hippies waving this smoldering paper looking thing around, covering themselves in smoke and I figured that it was patchouli.

That was probably either marijuana or sage.

Well they weren't smoking it, so I kind of doubt it was pot.

Did it smell like pot?  Then it was probably sage.  Sage smoke is supposed to be a spiritual cleanser.

I guess it was sage then. I wasn't close enough to smell it but it was a hippie and a rastafarian (or a rastafarian poser).

Quote from: DJRubberduckyDid it smell like pot?  Then it was probably sage.  Sage smoke is supposed to be a spiritual cleanser.

Except the fools haven't learned that sage is a spiritual cleanser for rare and powerful moments, not everytime they sit down and feel "bad vibes", the loosers!

Yeah, they should just get drunk and/or high to get rid of bad vibes.

Quote from: eroticYeah, they should just get drunk and/or high to get rid of bad vibes.

Or perhaps their vibes come form their drug use already and they should just dry out for a few days.

Department of Knittery Official Update from Espionage Agents Tracking Ninja Scarf.

Enraged by rumours that patchouli was making a comeback, the Felis Cattus  beast makes the only rational assumption--it's the Ninja Scarf! He's selling the vile substance to hippies. His ninja spirit is so low that he stoops to dealing with hippies? Ninja Scarf must be stopped!
A sneak attack catches Ninja Scarf unaware.

(http://img83.imageshack.us/img83/9154/catattack7wd.jpg)

Felis Cattus is a fierce warrior but his fangs are no match for the steel tentacles of Ninja Scarf!!

(http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/9544/catbite3bv.jpg)

After an intense 36 hour battle, Ninja Scarf and Felis Cattus realize that they have a lot in common. You see, both were abandoned by their mothers as children and they're both partly grey. Making this startling discovery, they decide to head to the pub for pints, later, back at chez Toots, they sit up until wee hours of the morning and trade battle stories.

(http://img70.imageshack.us/img70/9231/friends2ca.jpg)

The department believes they may be planning on taking over Bolivia.
Over and out.

How are you ever going to part the ninja scarf and felis cattus?

Cattle prod.



Just sayin'.

Quote from: eroticCattle prod.



Just sayin'.

Cattle prod and a cat = bad time for the human.

I didn't say I'd be the one prodding.

Rather, I'd be the one behind the video camera.

Cats = proof of a malevonent higher power.  Or God likes cats more than people.

Quote from: CainCats = proof of a malevonent higher power.  Or God likes cats more than people.

These two statements need not be mutually exclusive.

I would say one almost makes the other redundant.

Quote from: eroticI didn't say I'd be the one prodding.

Rather, I'd be the one behind the video camera.

You better hope you have a telephoto lens and that you are miles away.

O, Pushkin.

If this kitty wasn't the cutest little character I might consider the cattle prod.

But although ferocious, Felis Cattus (aka Pushkin Boots) is reasonable and knows that Ninja Scarf is not meant for this abode, it's got places to go, people to choke.

Plus, The Cattus is easily distracted, so the current plan is to distract it with some catnip at just the right moment and then run like hell.

Could somone please knit this for me?

(http://oddones.org/knit_bondage.jpg)

You got it. I'm really getting the hang of this knitting thing.
After just two weeks, I've already finished two (count em - two) dish cloths.  8)

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomYou got it. I'm really getting the hang of this knitting thing.
After just two weeks, I've already finished two (count em - two) dish cloths.  8)

BUt not that THING in THAT pic up THERE?

Quote from: Irreverend Death to Poultry, KSC

Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomYou got it. I'm really getting the hang of this knitting thing.
After just two weeks, I've already finished two (count em - two) dish cloths.  8)

BUt not that THING in THAT pic up THERE?

hee hee, is it the THING with teh THING on it's chin? It looks...umm...unsanitary.

By the way SssBella I keep lurking in the MW knitting lessons and I've picked up quite a few things.  I've made two dishcloths too, they're red and black--the colours of our kitchen.
But I'm skipping the scraf project because now that LHX's scarf is finally done, I'm a bit scarfed out.  :D

batman had a utility belt

LHX will have a scarf

Anyone not scarfed out and like aliens?

Here's a picky and pattern for an alien illusion scarf--illusion as in you can only see the aliens if you look at it from a certain angle. Kinda fun.

(http://www.snargle.org/crafty/photos/AlienScarf1.jpg)

MC= Main colour  (black in this case) CC=complementary colour (green)

CC 1. K all RS
CC 2. P all WS
MC 3. K all RS
MC 4. K all WS
CC 5. K all RS
CC 6. P all WS
MC 7. K all RS
MC 8. K all WS
CC 9. K all RS
CC 10. P23, K7, P10
MC 11. K all RS
MC 12. K23, P7, K10
CC 13. K all RS
CC 14. P20, K11, P9
MC 15. K all RS
MC 16. K20, P11, K9
CC 17. K all RS
CC 18. P17, K9, P2, K4, P8
MC 19. K all RS
MC 20. K17, P9, K2, P4, K8
CC 21. K all RS
CC 22. P14, K11, P4, K4, P7
MC 23. K all RS
MC 24. K14, P11, K4, P4, K7
CC 25. K all RS
CC 26. P11, K13, P6, K4, P6
MC 27. K all RS
MC 28. K11, P13, K6, P4, K6
CC 29. K all RS
CC 30. P8, K16, P6, K5, P5
MC 31. K all RS
MC 32. K8, P16, K6, P5, K5
CC 33. K all RS
CC 34. P6, K5, P2, K12, P4, K7, P4
MC 35. K all RS
MC 36. K6, P5, K2, P12, K4, P7, K4
CC 37. K all RS
CC 38. P4, K7, P2, K13, P2, K8, P4
MC 39. K all RS
MC 40. K4, P7, K2, P13, K2, P8, K4
CC 41. K all RS
CC 42. P4, K7, P2, K23, P4
MC 43. K all RS
MC 44. K4, P7, K2, P23, K4
CC 45. K all RS
CC 46. P4, K7, P2, K23, P4
MC 47. K all RS
MC 48. K4, P7, K2, P23, K4
CC 49. K all RS
CC 50. P4, K7, P2, K13, P2, K8, P4
MC 51. K all RS
MC 52. K4, P7, K2, P13, K2, P8, K4
CC 53. K all RS
CC 54. P6, K5, P2, K12, P4, K7, P4
MC 55. K all RS
MC 56. K6, P5, K2, P12, K4, P7, K4
CC 57. K all RS
CC 58. P8, K16, P6, K5, P5
MC 59. K all RS
MC 60. K8, P16, K6, P5, K5
CC 61. K all RS
CC 62. P11, K13, P6, K4, P6
MC 63. K all RS
MC 64. K11, P13, K6, P4, K6
CC 65. K all RS
CC 66. P14, K11, P4, K4, P7
MC 67. K all RS
MC 68. K14, P11, K4, P4, K7
CC 69. K all RS
CC 70. P17, K9, P2, K4, p8
MC 71. K all RS
MC 72. K17, P9, K2, P4, K8
CC 73. K all RS
CC 74. P20, K11, P9
MC 75. K all RS
MC 76. K20, P11, K9
CC 77. K all RS
CC 78. P23, K7, P10
MC 79. K all RS
MC 80. K23, P7, K10

Knit 1-80 for a total of 6 alien motifs

Oooh. That's cool. I'm sorta scarfed out at the moment, but I like that scarf enough to give it a shot as soon as I recover from the one I'm knitting now.

That's fucking awesome!

A ninja scarf!!
That looks even better than the leopard skin print silk scarf Zorga uses to play ninja.

Bell.a! When are you coming back to Montana to play ninja with Zorga again?

Figured I'd share my latest crafty update with y'all:  This weekend, the central Texas Amtgard groups are going to sponsor an "Iron Newbie" tournament at their joint event.  A team of four or five veterans will be assigned a new player and will be responsible for equipping him/her as completely as possible in two hours (costume, weaponry, basic fighting skills, etc.).

I'm hoping to crank out a T-tunic, some basic pants, and a cloak in that time; we are allowed to bring machines, and mine's already in dire need of a tuneup, so a day out in the humidity won't kill it that much further.  We'll see how it goes.  I'll try to remember to bring my digicam and share some pictures of what I end up making.

Look what I just found......a hand-knitted flying spaghetti monster hat.
Plus instructions.

http://www.phobe.com/fsmhat/index.html

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/SssBella/flyinghat.jpg)

Quote from: BellaLook what I just found......a hand-knitted flying spaghetti monster hat.
Plus instructions.

http://www.phobe.com/fsmhat/index.html

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v295/SssBella/flyinghat.jpg)

That's a hat silly enough for me to wear.

That's a very silly hat.

*Salivates*

The poor woman is obviously in distress. That thing has her in it's sinister clutches and all you people can do is laugh?

Do not taunt Happy Flying Spaghetti Monster.

wow. this thread IS a toolbox.

OH SNAP
\
:joshua:
/
ON!







GET IT?!
\
:joshua:
/
SNAP-ON!?!?!






THEY MAKE TOOLS!
/
:joshua:
\
ITS FUNNY BECAUSE ITS A JOKE!!!

MSC is teh Craftsman.

 :lulz:

I saw the thread title and i thought somebody was being mean to EB&G again.

Quote from: Toots on February 17, 2006, 08:38:45 PM
Anyone not scarfed out and like aliens?

Here's a picky and pattern for an alien illusion scarf--illusion as in you can only see the aliens if you look at it from a certain angle. Kinda fun.

(http://www.snargle.org/crafty/photos/AlienScarf1.jpg)

MC= Main colour  (black in this case) CC=complementary colour (green)

CC 1. K all RS
CC 2. P all WS
MC 3. K all RS
MC 4. K all WS
CC 5. K all RS
CC 6. P all WS
MC 7. K all RS
MC 8. K all WS
CC 9. K all RS
CC 10. P23, K7, P10
MC 11. K all RS
MC 12. K23, P7, K10
CC 13. K all RS
CC 14. P20, K11, P9
MC 15. K all RS
MC 16. K20, P11, K9
CC 17. K all RS
CC 18. P17, K9, P2, K4, P8
MC 19. K all RS
MC 20. K17, P9, K2, P4, K8
CC 21. K all RS
CC 22. P14, K11, P4, K4, P7
MC 23. K all RS
MC 24. K14, P11, K4, P4, K7
CC 25. K all RS
CC 26. P11, K13, P6, K4, P6
MC 27. K all RS
MC 28. K11, P13, K6, P4, K6
CC 29. K all RS
CC 30. P8, K16, P6, K5, P5
MC 31. K all RS
MC 32. K8, P16, K6, P5, K5
CC 33. K all RS
CC 34. P6, K5, P2, K12, P4, K7, P4
MC 35. K all RS
MC 36. K6, P5, K2, P12, K4, P7, K4
CC 37. K all RS
CC 38. P4, K7, P2, K13, P2, K8, P4
MC 39. K all RS
MC 40. K4, P7, K2, P13, K2, P8, K4
CC 41. K all RS
CC 42. P4, K7, P2, K23, P4
MC 43. K all RS
MC 44. K4, P7, K2, P23, K4
CC 45. K all RS
CC 46. P4, K7, P2, K23, P4
MC 47. K all RS
MC 48. K4, P7, K2, P23, K4
CC 49. K all RS
CC 50. P4, K7, P2, K13, P2, K8, P4
MC 51. K all RS
MC 52. K4, P7, K2, P13, K2, P8, K4
CC 53. K all RS
CC 54. P6, K5, P2, K12, P4, K7, P4
MC 55. K all RS
MC 56. K6, P5, K2, P12, K4, P7, K4
CC 57. K all RS
CC 58. P8, K16, P6, K5, P5
MC 59. K all RS
MC 60. K8, P16, K6, P5, K5
CC 61. K all RS
CC 62. P11, K13, P6, K4, P6
MC 63. K all RS
MC 64. K11, P13, K6, P4, K6
CC 65. K all RS
CC 66. P14, K11, P4, K4, P7
MC 67. K all RS
MC 68. K14, P11, K4, P4, K7
CC 69. K all RS
CC 70. P17, K9, P2, K4, p8
MC 71. K all RS
MC 72. K17, P9, K2, P4, K8
CC 73. K all RS
CC 74. P20, K11, P9
MC 75. K all RS
MC 76. K20, P11, K9
CC 77. K all RS
CC 78. P23, K7, P10
MC 79. K all RS
MC 80. K23, P7, K10

Knit 1-80 for a total of 6 alien motifs

looks comfy

(http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/6015/scarf1um2.jpg)

My on going Dr. Who Scarf.  Looking to complete in 3-4 more feet.

:mittens:

(http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/3735/richterscaerfrd1.jpg)

Finished product

That is quite an excellent scarf!

looks warm

What's the final length?

And have you worn it to work yet?

Wearing it today.  Final length was 7 ft., I figured I'd stop while it was still something I could actually USE.

4 meter of scarf: Is just ASKING to be hung by a cab, bus, train, etc.

My current project is very practical; I'm making an iPhone cozy. I have decided that everyone gets phone cozies for Yule.

Because cellphones need to stay warm too.

Yes! Exactly.

If it gets cold enough, most electronics WILL turn into a useless silicone brownie.  It's faster with fancy OLED, touch interface contraptions. 
Phone covers are a viable addition to body proximity, or alternative to internal storage methods.