Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Propaganda Depository => Topic started by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 12:35:04 pm

Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 12:35:04 pm
I know these assertions have been flying around the net recently and it has been fun to watch them evolve, mutate and be discussed.  However, all good things must come to the end, and I revel in my role in making people suffer.  So with great pleasure I inform you of the following:

1. Richard M. Nixon did NOT write the Principia Discordia in a brief moment of lucidity.  He never used the pen-name of Malaclypse.  Absolutely not.  There is no evidence for this conclusion whatsoever.  None at all.  And he didn't convert Chairman Mao and teach him the secrets of levitation, as popular rumour (and a carefully doctored photo, included for completeness*) would have us believe.

2. The Popular Front for the Liberation of Discordia are not involved in any hostile takeover bid of International Arms and Hashish Inc.  Furthermore, Episkopos Cain is not the new CEO, nor does he intend to be.  We believe these rumours have been spread by Mexican Communists working under orders originating out of Pyongyang and thus have no basis in fact.

3. There is no mysterious é─˙Fifth Internationalé─¨ alliance consisting of many Discordian Cabals, the Church of the Subgenius, the Moorish Orthodox Church, the Coptic Orthodox People of the Herb, neo-pagans, the Egyptian Church of New Zealand, the Kaos Kabal of London, Libertarian Congregationalists, The Sacred Jihad of Our Lady of Chaos and other é─˙fourth wayé─¨ sects. The rumour was put about by enemies of the World Congress of Free Religions, who were implicated as a front group for the Fifth International, presumably as part of a smear campaign.

4. The sad disappearance of Joesph Matheny after meeting with several Cabals in the Santa Cruz mountain region while searching for a lead on the é─˙travel culté─¨ founded by the renegade SDI researcher Nick Herbert had nothing to do with us.  He did mention to a Legionnaire he met briefly to exchange information with that, while trying to find Emory Cranston, the conspiracy theorist associated with Herbert, he had seen inside his P.O. Box in Ong's Hat and only found é─˙solicitations from a church of geniuses in Dallas, Texas or some such nonsense.é─¨  That was the last contact we had with him.  All questions and inquiries should be directed to either Herbert or Cranston, should they be contactable.

5. When the ban was lifted in Greece on the worship of the Olympian deities, several é─˙monksé─¨ dressed in green robes were present in Athens and did say a prayer in the Sanctuary of Ares, before the image of Enyo, before leaving.  But no-one knows who they were, or if their presence there had anything to do with the decision taken by the Greek government, or indeed the apparent horror at which the decision was greeted by the Greek Orthodox Church.

6. The New Soviet Red Army and its various associated financial, legal and intelligence branches were disbanded in the summer of 2005.  Any activities claimed to be by them are nothing more than rogue operatives, or other organizations using the name to cover their own deeds.  Any group using the name to recruit should be treated with the utmost suspicion.  It is suspected the fate of several of those who have joined such fake organizations is both violent and bloody.

7.  There was no Discordian involvement about the now infamous expos?ę that lead to the dismissal of Maxwell Knight of Neurocam International, starting the long decline and internal chaos of the company.  While it is known that at least one Discordian has a copy of the incident saved to his hard disk, he has refused to show it to anyone and believes his keeping it secret is integral to his personal security.

8. The midget was most definitely on fire before The Good Reverend Roger arrived at the party.  I myself can testify to this.

*(http://www.magnumphotos.com/LowRes2/TR3/F/P/R/U/PAR33115.jpg)
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 12:39:18 pm
Fukcing wonderful.  May I work this up into a document?


PS - point 7:  "led" not "lead".
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 12:43:18 pm
Of course.  Such rumours need to be countered with a high publicity campaign.  Thanks for the typo, I wrote this in a hurry yesterday.  I was about to miss my favourite cultural train wreck, the Jeremy Kyle Show.

PS: These are not the much vaunted conspiracies I am working on.  But some of them may make another appearance in due time.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 12:44:46 pm
Oh, and I love that picture of Nixon.


I'm on it.  Syn should expect something to post by the end of the day.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Demolition_Squid on July 06, 2006, 12:45:32 pm
Phew!


Thanks for clearing that up, Cain, some of us were getting really worried. Poor midget...
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 12:45:38 pm
Chaplin found it originally.  I wanted to include the one of him shaking hands with Mao too, but Wiki wouldn't let me steal theirs.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 01:30:41 pm
How would you like this titled?

I have a title page, the debunking on the inside, and the nixon pic on the back.


I just need a title.


[edit: I was thinking of "In Response to the Recent Allegations Against Certain Organizations and their Involvement in Recent History"]
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 01:38:44 pm
Sounds good to me.  Give it a reference number or something as well, making it look official.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 01:40:50 pm
What about the author's name?

It could either be you, or a consortium, or...?
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 01:53:34 pm
Communications Office, Popular Front for the Liberation of Discordia
email: pfld.comms@googlemail.com
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 02:04:10 pm
Test copy:

Rumors. (http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=A51FDDE678D6315B)
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 02:05:03 pm
The Websense category "Illegal or Questionable" is filtered. Dorset County Council staff are reminded that, in accordance with the DCC IT Security Standards, all staff internet usage is logged and monitored.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 02:12:01 pm
Prepare for email delivery.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 02:23:30 pm
Additional comment:

If said pamphlet is to be released by Communications Office, perhaps use of the first person (save for point 8 ), should be eschewed.


LMNO
-trying to find the right voice.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 03:09:48 pm
Change it to "we" then, perhaps drop some of it if it wont make sense.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 03:12:40 pm
Done, and done.


With permission, preparing to submit to POEE for PDF-ing and posting.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 06, 2006, 03:14:50 pm
Go for it.  Thanks, it sucks being limited as I currently am.  Also, just looked at my emails, format looks good.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ on July 06, 2006, 06:09:02 pm
hahah that is awesoem
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: East Coast Hustle on July 06, 2006, 06:28:00 pm
Cain, these are fucking swote.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 06, 2006, 08:32:18 pm
look at him float! :)

(http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g213/05136/nixonfloat2.gif)

[just a little disclaimer: i stole the idea of the invert/continuous movement optical illusion from some other gif, i think i saw somewhere on this board before]
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 06, 2006, 08:35:07 pm
Wow.  I love that.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Felix on July 07, 2006, 01:05:45 am
Quote from: Cain
8. The midget was most definitely on fire before The Good Reverend Roger arrived at the party. I myself can testify to this.


Euphemism?  :shock:
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: maphdet on July 07, 2006, 04:03:05 am
Love the floating nixon too!

Cain, (or anyone else) could you put to rest something for me.


I get waves of thoughts at times, that discordians (yes I know I'm generalizing here) are a front for 'them'.
And the purpose is to gather info and such.

This is a serious thing that I need put to rest for me.

TIA.


And no matter what anyone will type.
I'll probly still have suspicions.
How could 'they' not inflitrate.
(I am wrong right)

And i'm not talking about people on this board,
the people here seem genuine. I mean no offence to Anyone here.
I like it here, that is why I come.
This is just a thought that has occured to me
and want to see if anyone else has ever had
the same thought. And what any answer would...
oh blah, I'm rambling and tired.
so
[/thought]
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Felix on July 07, 2006, 04:06:30 am
We are the amusing nub of flesh on the Conspiracy's temple.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 07, 2006, 10:30:20 am
Quote from: maphdet
Cain, (or anyone else) could you put to rest something for me.


I get waves of thoughts at times, that discordians (yes I know I'm generalizing here) are a front for 'them'.
And the purpose is to gather info and such.

This is a serious thing that I need put to rest for me.


i was gonna say "i'll prove to you that i'm not one of 'them', as soon as you prove to me that you're not a figment of my imagination"

but then i thought of the barstool experiment

so, i pose a new question .. as the barstool experiment tends to 'solve' the new age metaphysics nothing is real hippie stuff .. is there a similar way to cure common paranoia? :)
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 07, 2006, 12:30:02 pm
No.  The paranoia is all too real.


And Discordians actually are a front for THEM.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Demolition_Squid on July 07, 2006, 02:02:29 pm
Really? I thought They were a front for Us!

Damn  :(
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 07, 2006, 02:55:02 pm
Quote from: Kai Wren
Really? I thought They were a front for Us!

two sides of the same coin are always both fronts for eachother (and backs)

[/utter cheese]
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Felix on July 07, 2006, 10:59:37 pm
Apathy cures paranoia.  A devil-may-care attitude is what I apply to niggling doubts and paranoid feelings.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on July 08, 2006, 02:33:48 pm
Quote from: maphdet
Love the floating nixon too!

Cain, (or anyone else) could you put to rest something for me.


I get waves of thoughts at times, that discordians (yes I know I'm generalizing here) are a front for 'them'.
And the purpose is to gather info and such.

This is a serious thing that I need put to rest for me.

TIA.


And no matter what anyone will type.
I'll probly still have suspicions.
How could 'they' not inflitrate.
(I am wrong right)

And i'm not talking about people on this board,
the people here seem genuine. I mean no offence to Anyone here.
I like it here, that is why I come.
This is just a thought that has occured to me
and want to see if anyone else has ever had
the same thought. And what any answer would...
oh blah, I'm rambling and tired.
so
[/thought]


Please to read the Principia Discordia, where you will find a letter from the Ancient and Illuminated Seers of Bavaria thanking "Brother" Malaclypse the Younger for adding all the propaganda for them.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2006, 12:48:44 pm
Quote from: triple zero
so, i pose a new question .. as the barstool experiment tends to 'solve' the new age metaphysics nothing is real hippie stuff .. is there a similar way to cure common paranoia? :)




Concerning the Barstool Experiment, I feel that the lesson to be taken from it isn't that it "solves" metaphysics, but rather that you need to be aware of both the Universe you create in your head, as well as the Universe you are receiving signals from.

Metaphysics can be fun, and they can lead to revelation and epiphany, but don't think that it will feed your family, unless you can get a book deal out of it.


As to your other question, "common" paranoia seems to be generated by insufficient observation combined with self-deception and pessimism.

If you try to Find Out as much as possible about Things, you'll soon find that the "common" paranoia soon vanishes...











...and is replaced by REAL paranoia.



















Then again, you can always just realize that 95% of the human race is on self-destruct auto pilot, which tends to make the whole issue moot.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 10, 2006, 01:20:14 pm
Quote from: LMNO
Then again, you can always just realize that 95% of the human race is on self-destruct auto pilot, which tends to make the whole issue moot.

yea, realizing things about 95% of the human race has the general tendency to make issues moot.

--> when in doubt, realize stuff about 95% of humanity
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2006, 01:29:15 pm
Sir, do you mock me?
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 10, 2006, 02:25:55 pm
Quote from: LMNO
Sir, do you mock me?

i mock 95% of humanity -- but not you, really!




actually, yes. i'm in a kind of mocking mood today.

.. but we were off-topic anyway already right?

anyway, i didn't mean the barstool experiment solves metaphysics, that's why i put the quotes there in the first place. but your summary of the conclusion is a good one, puts it in clear perspective.

and paranoia.. well ... let's say that 95% of the paranoid delusions i encounter (in others) are moot issues anyway :)
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2006, 02:31:34 pm
I think you're mocking me.

LMNO
-common paranoid.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on July 10, 2006, 03:58:37 pm
i'm not mocking you - 95% of humanity is.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on July 10, 2006, 04:07:58 pm
I knew it.




Those fuckers.  You just can't trust 'em.
Title: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Felix on July 11, 2006, 03:04:27 am
I did a presentation to Dada/Surrealism/Discordia to my high school philosophy class as a final.

Come to think of it, that page of discordian quotes really really got them into it.  I printed off the whole quote list and gave pages of it out at random, they loved it.

I'd suggest it.
Title: Re: Its time to read THE BLACK BOOKS by Christopher Hyatt
Post by: PopeLoUDICRUCE on August 12, 2006, 09:10:44 pm
Note to Self::: ReRead The Black Books, read them do you know what that means? Psychopath's Bible read it!::* Babbles inanely about Crawling things*
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cain on March 09, 2007, 12:21:43 am
Bumped to Propaganda
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 08:49:03 am
Bumped to 2011!  (In case it really does start to make sense)
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Rumckle on January 13, 2011, 10:11:57 am
So, is there a PDF of this somewhere? I feel like this is important information.
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 11:12:12 am
It's probably far too important to risk by putting in a PDF File. I think the only format safe enough, is to commit all the relevant passages to memory, and then eat your computer just to be on the safe side.
I know I'm a bit over the top as far as security is concerned, but I didn't manage to not get dragged off to Gitmo (twice)
by copying sensitive mahjickal secrets into PDF files.

All joking aside, I really don't have a clue. Try Trip, if he doesn't know, he might know who does..   
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on January 13, 2011, 02:12:52 pm
Download and install Open Office, paste the text into an OO Writer file, format it how you want it, and export as PDF.
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Triple Zero on January 13, 2011, 05:22:41 pm
Sir, do you mock me?
Quote from: LMNO
Sir, do you mock me?
i mock 95% of humanity -- but not you, really!
I think you're mocking me.

LMNO
-common paranoid.

Still got the feeling someone's mocking you, LMNO?

It might be because I HAVE BEEN DOING EXACTLY THAT, ALL THESE YEARS, QUIETLY BEHIND YOUR BACK

(or maybe that wasn't me, but 95% of humanity)

MWUAHAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAA
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 07:17:40 pm
I knew it.  Because of Quantum.
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Cramulus on January 13, 2011, 08:18:37 pm
I'm glad we've pioneered the field of Quantum Mockery
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on January 13, 2011, 08:27:14 pm
So, is there a PDF of this somewhere? I feel like this is important information.


Sorry.  Yes, there is.  It's a lovely two-sided, three-panel doc, easily folded in thirds on an 8.5x11 inch (58 qubits by 73 Drams for you Metric spags) sheet of paper.

I have no access to sharable media at work.  If you have email, I can send.
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 08:32:31 pm
I knew it.  Because of Quantum.

Rumkle's getting his PDF, Cram's expressing satisfaction, LMNO hasn't punned once, So why haven't I leaped yet Sam?

*Sam wanders off to ask Ziggy*
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Phox on January 13, 2011, 08:38:24 pm
I knew it.  Because of Quantum.

Rumkle's getting his PDF, Cram's expressing satisfaction, LMNO hasn't punned once, So why haven't I leaped yet Sam?

*Sam wanders off to ask Ziggy*

*cough*
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: BadBeast on January 13, 2011, 08:45:43 pm
I knew it.  Because of Quantum.

Rumkle's getting his PDF, Cram's expressing satisfaction, LMNO hasn't punned once, So why haven't I leaped yet Sam?

*Sam wanders off to ask Ziggy*

*cough*
   :?  I need to get back to the Enterprise, I've left Malcolm in charge, and T'Pol starts her shift in 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: Rumckle on January 13, 2011, 10:44:03 pm
So, is there a PDF of this somewhere? I feel like this is important information.


Sorry.  Yes, there is.  It's a lovely two-sided, three-panel doc, easily folded in thirds on an 8.5x11 inch (58 qubits by 73 Drams for you Metric spags) sheet of paper.

I have no access to sharable media at work.  If you have email, I can send.

Cool, thanks. You can email me at rumckle AT gmail
Title: Re: Its time to put a rest to these rumours...
Post by: LMNO on January 14, 2011, 02:55:01 pm
Sent.