Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Bring and Brag => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 08, 2009, 02:14:43 pm

Title: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 08, 2009, 02:14:43 pm
A project me and my housemate have been working on. We don't have 101 yet.

1. I think you'll be alright. You might even be able to have children some day.
2. Better wrap it up, H.P. Lovecraft, or you'll end up a shut-in.
3. Hey grownups!
4. We're using double entendres!
5. At least you can fake-cry. You always have that comfort.
6. Sounds like it's whine O'clock!
7. Oh, you wanted to have guns and vote? Maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to be FIVE.
8. We're Scientologists now.
9. I'm sure we all recall the disastrous events of October 1929.
10. Let's talk taxes.
11. Would you describe yourself as cosmopolitan?
12. You have very exacting standards about how things are done and I'm not sure that I can uphold those standards.
13. People would think that you were listening to Led Zeppelin and you had used up all the albums, so that you could no longer "get the led out".
14. Stop touching me. I feel about people touching me like Russia feels about Greece.
15. The face you're making reminds me of Henry Kissinger.




Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: indifferent betty on January 08, 2009, 02:23:47 pm
 :lulz:

one i actually used on a child at my pokemon league

"I'm afraid that your parents just called from the council offices to say that you've been cancelled, you'll be picked up by the police cancelled children department at abut 3ish."

(its's okay, the kid had an evil sense of humour for a 10 year old, he got over it and called me a c*nt)
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: AFK on January 08, 2009, 02:25:51 pm
16. [Insert name of popular Kid TV character] isn't real.
17. [Insert name of popular Kid TV character] is dead. 
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 08, 2009, 05:37:28 pm
18. I would love for you to buy me lunch there.
19. I bet if you ask this lady real nice she'll take you home. (this is a twofer when you have another adult start in about your upset child)
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 08, 2009, 05:43:00 pm
20.I wonder what the leading research says on this issue? Would you like to help me look it up? (only do this one if you are willing to look it up, because we know everything isn't fool proof.)
21. Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't (whatever it is you are doing) that he'd melt my brain



Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: fomenter on January 08, 2009, 07:00:22 pm
22. do not believe the Santa clause deniers, he really does exist, any one who believes otherwise has been fooled by a disinformation campaign that "they" started, if you don't believe me look it up the truth will be obvious to any one who does a little research.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 08, 2009, 07:30:37 pm
23. You think loosing a tooth is disturbing? ha! wait till you start losing your baby fingers... They'll get loose and wiggly, and then just be hanging by a thread and then, when they fall off, you put them under your pillow just like with teeth, except you don't get a quarter.  You get a band-aid.  And you will be thankful for it!
...
what's that?  your parents didn't tell you anything about losing your fingers?
....
well, i bet they didn't warn you about the teeth until it started happening either, now, did they?  they just don't want to needlessly upset you. but i think you're old enough to know the truth.  Don't tell them i told you, though.  They would just deny it, anyways, and be mad at me for telling you....
i'm on your side kiddo!

(I've been waiting several years to use this one on my nephew.)
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 08, 2009, 07:35:40 pm
 :lulz:

As wonderful as these are, I'm not sure they'd be greeted with silence.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 08, 2009, 07:37:35 pm
My four have been field tested.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Elder Iptuous on January 08, 2009, 08:02:48 pm
Inarticulate crying doesn't count as silence?...
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on January 08, 2009, 08:08:33 pm
Fuquad, I am confident that in my household, your four would absolutely be greeted with silence by all three children.

Probably silence tinged with disgust... the preferred type of silence. :lulz:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 08, 2009, 08:20:35 pm
Number 18 is why I never have to eat McDonalds.


well one time she did buy me a lunch there because she really really really wanted the toy in the happy meal.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: 3D3N on January 09, 2009, 02:01:34 am
24: "Remember, this is our little secret."
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Suu on January 10, 2009, 08:44:37 pm
21. Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't (whatever it is you are doing) that he'd melt my brain





Oh...My...God...:mittens: for the reference alone!

-Suu
Often talks like Crispin Glover to freak people out.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Suu on January 10, 2009, 08:47:00 pm
Number 18 is why I never have to eat McDonalds.


well one time she did buy me a lunch there because she really really really wanted the toy in the happy meal.



I think I would have gotten a total kick out of it and bragged immensely if my kid bought me lunch, even at McDonald's. Just sayin'.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 10, 2009, 08:56:46 pm
Number 18 is why I never have to eat McDonalds.


well one time she did buy me a lunch there because she really really really wanted the toy in the happy meal.



I think I would have gotten a total kick out of it and bragged immensely if my kid bought me lunch, even at McDonald's. Just sayin'.
Oh yeah.

It was a few months ago. And you have to understand she works for her allowance.

She has one chore she has to do no pay or anything she has to do this chore if she wants to do extra chores to make money. she often does extra chores just to have money in case she wants something special. she doesn't buy much so she's got quit the savings.



Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: rong on January 10, 2009, 09:16:56 pm
23. You think loosing a tooth is disturbing? ha! wait till you start losing your baby fingers... They'll get loose and wiggly, and then just be hanging by a thread and then, when they fall off, you put them under your pillow just like with teeth, except you don't get a quarter.  You get a band-aid.  And you will be thankful for it!
...
what's that?  your parents didn't tell you anything about losing your fingers?
....
well, i bet they didn't warn you about the teeth until it started happening either, now, did they?  they just don't want to needlessly upset you. but i think you're old enough to know the truth.  Don't tell them i told you, though.  They would just deny it, anyways, and be mad at me for telling you....
i'm on your side kiddo!

(I've been waiting several years to use this one on my nephew.)

 :mittens:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 10, 2009, 09:20:54 pm
21. Last night, Darth Vader is came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't (whatever it is you are doing) that he'd melt my brain





Oh...My...God...:mittens: for the reference alone!

-Suu
Often talks like Crispin Glover to freak people out.
My daughter hates Star Wars and Star Trek.

Though she knows who Darth Vader And That Spock is from Vulcan,

But she loves Doctor Who. My ex has woke up around 5:3o in the morning to find my daughter eating a bowl of oatmeal while watching Doctor Who.

Between seasons of Doctor Who she once told me " I wish there were other time travel stories"

she now likes the back to the future trilogy. and voyagers.

She knows exactly what I'm quoting when I say it.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Suu on January 10, 2009, 10:02:29 pm
How old is she?
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on January 11, 2009, 07:07:15 am
six.
seven next month.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: mcjof on February 12, 2009, 02:13:28 pm
decent syaing to get children to be quite

"your parents are dead"

 :eek:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on February 12, 2009, 04:01:20 pm
decent syaing to get children to be quite

"your parents are dead"

 :eek:
I guess your definition of quite is lots of loud crying.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Lazera the forgotten on February 15, 2009, 01:00:41 am
25: You're parents are getting a divorce.
26: The reason I can't (insert random childhood demand here) is simply because the quantum hyperbole of the centrifugal sarcophagus is the relative nature
     of the semi sonic Pythagorean.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Rev. Asshat on February 15, 2009, 01:30:35 pm
27. I have some candy with your name on it in my van.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: UncannyValleyGirl on February 22, 2009, 05:07:03 am
28. I have to send the pony back now. Too late.
29. No, no, of course you aren't adopted *shift eyes*.
30. ...your...parents...can't talk to you. For a while.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 22, 2009, 05:43:14 pm
I hereby abandon this thread because too many people can't tell the difference between "will be greeted with silence" and "will be greeted with tears".

Upsetting children is EASY, you fucking retards.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on February 22, 2009, 06:20:08 pm
I hereby abandon this thread because too many people can't tell the difference between "will be greeted with silence" and "will be greeted with tears".

Upsetting children is EASY, you fucking retards.

I noticed this. For chrissakes, children will sometimes go apeshit screaming upset over the most inane things when you aren't even TRYING to mess with them.

Bewildering and dumbfounding children is a different thing altogether.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Messier Undertree on February 22, 2009, 08:54:08 pm
Hurrr everyone stop making jokes in my seriously serious thread.

I thought they were pretty funny actually. I laughed IRL at Iptuous' first post ITT.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on February 22, 2009, 11:05:54 pm
Hurrr everyone stop making jokes in my seriously serious thread.

I thought they were pretty funny actually. I laughed IRL at Iptuous' first post ITT.
More like "Since you are unable to post the types of jokes i asked for I am done with this"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 23, 2009, 04:50:26 am
Hurrr everyone stop making jokes in my seriously serious thread.

I thought they were pretty funny actually. I laughed IRL at Iptuous' first post ITT.
More like "Since you are unable to post the types of jokes i asked for I am done with this"

This

Frankly, most of the "make kids cry" type jokes are both easy and stupid, and I was actually hoping for some clever/interesting additions, which a couple people did understand and deliver. But for the most part this thread is a failure.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: UncannyValleyGirl on February 23, 2009, 09:03:57 am
Tried and true one if they're having an epic tantrum:

"Once more. With FEELING this time!"

They stop and stare at you like you've gone mad. Every time.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Messier Undertree on February 23, 2009, 10:18:03 am
Hurrr everyone stop making jokes in my seriously serious thread.

I thought they were pretty funny actually. I laughed IRL at Iptuous' first post ITT.
More like "Since you are unable to post the types of jokes i asked for I am done with this"

This

Frankly, most of the "make kids cry" type jokes are both easy and stupid, and I was actually hoping for some clever/interesting additions, which a couple people did understand and deliver. But for the most part this thread is a failure.

Yeah, you're right. I did find some of them funny, but it's not really what you asked for.

I just don't think the thread is all that worse off for it, but it would annoy me just as much if my thread was already derailed by the second post. And I guess it won't really help you do what you were planning to in the first place.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: fomenter on February 23, 2009, 04:57:42 pm
it is not easy to come up with these kind of ideas unless you are a parent or have spent a lot of time with kids, hitting 101 may prove to be a tough challenge.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Jasper on February 23, 2009, 06:44:13 pm
it is not easy to come up with these kind of ideas unless you are a parent or have spent a lot of time with kids, hitting 101 may prove to be a tough challenge.

You're right.  We 1st World Citizens have it so tough. :lulz:

Back on topic, I still can't think of any good ones.

Maybe some good ones could be made by imposing huge existentialist questions on them.

"What does it mean to exist?  If our existence doesn't have meaning, how can we create meaning?"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 23, 2009, 07:05:38 pm
i don't understand why it would be so hard.
it just takes something that is meaningless to them?  even the examples in the OP would likely be met with questions.  I assumed the request was actually for things that are jokes that only experience/education would shed light on, or things that would be such a kick in the nuts as to leave breathless.  i think the latter is funnier, speaking as a father...
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: fomenter on February 23, 2009, 07:26:15 pm
speaking as someone who has no kids
this is exactly why it seems tough to me, kids ask questions and kids freak out, getting the stunned silence response would take some insight into children's minds, to the clueless (me) it seems a unusual thing for a kid to do (being silent) ....
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 23, 2009, 08:49:43 pm
Tried and true one if they're having an epic tantrum:

"Once more. With FEELING this time!"

They stop and stare at you like you've gone mad. Every time.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 23, 2009, 08:54:02 pm
IME the key to being greeted with silence is by giving them just enough context that they know that either you're saying something irrelevant just to perturb them, or to know that they're being baited in a way that is slightly (but not too far) beyond them, so that the only possible dignified response is silence.

It delights me no end to receive a look of disgust, followed by the child stalking out of the room.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Hoopla! on February 23, 2009, 09:25:04 pm
My dad likes to say "Hello boys!" to a group of girl children.  They are stunned for a few seconds, and then incredulously cry "WE'RE GIRLS!!"

I like to ask kids where their husband or wife is.  They are always (always) shocked by the question.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Thurnez Isa on February 23, 2009, 09:27:09 pm
" I am Santa Claus...
and no your not getting any presents"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Aufenthatt on February 23, 2009, 09:58:26 pm
"I wonder when your baby legs are going to fall off"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on February 24, 2009, 12:57:04 am
"I wonder when your baby legs are going to fall off"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Jasper on February 24, 2009, 01:22:48 am
That's not going to get the response wanted.

Better yet, remark about That One Time their baby legs fell off (you were too young to remember).
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:48:06 am
My dad likes to say "Hello boys!" to a group of girl children.  They are stunned for a few seconds, and then incredulously cry "WE'RE GIRLS!!"

I like to ask kids where their husband or wife is.  They are always (always) shocked by the question.

 :lulz:

My housemate has done something like that.

A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: UncannyValleyGirl on February 24, 2009, 06:14:50 am
My dad likes to say "Hello boys!" to a group of girl children.  They are stunned for a few seconds, and then incredulously cry "WE'RE GIRLS!!"

I like to ask kids where their husband or wife is.  They are always (always) shocked by the question.

 :lulz:

My housemate has done something like that.

A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.

 :lulz:
I use this one at work, though more as a teaching exercise than for the lulz. The resulting hilarity is incidental.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 24, 2009, 06:49:53 am
It is an excellent teaching exercise! And it helps prepare the children for life by giving them the skills to deal with morons who need overexplaining in order to function.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Bu☆ns on February 24, 2009, 07:45:09 am
(http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/d/d4/Mrnoodlebrother.jpg)
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: AFK on February 24, 2009, 02:20:45 pm
A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.

Have you ever watched Blue's Clue's?  That's basically Steve and Joe's whole schtick.  That they are complete morons who need the kids at home help figuring out which cup of juice has more or which sock is blue, etc., etc., 
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 24, 2009, 03:43:31 pm
Yes! It gets more fun as they get older.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Hoopla! on February 24, 2009, 03:55:14 pm
My dad likes to say "Hello boys!" to a group of girl children.  They are stunned for a few seconds, and then incredulously cry "WE'RE GIRLS!!"

I like to ask kids where their husband or wife is.  They are always (always) shocked by the question.

 :lulz:

My housemate has done something like that.

A favorite activity we share is pretending to be incredibly dumb, so that the children have to patiently explain very simple concepts to us. Then we act amazed and incredulous.

They're starting to catch on, though.


HAHAHA!!  I'm gonna try that with the niece and nephew in Florida.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Jasper on February 25, 2009, 07:38:46 pm
Yes! It gets more fun as they get older.

I'm imagining you asking a twenty-year old how a pbj sandwich is made. :lulz:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 25, 2009, 08:23:02 pm
Yes! It gets more fun as they get older.

I'm imagining you asking a twenty-year old how a pbj sandwich is made. :lulz:

It's even better... there are countless things in modern life that I can pretend to not understand, and some of them haven't even been invented yet!
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Jasper on February 26, 2009, 01:07:55 am
This playing dumb thing has good potential.  :twisted:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: the other anonymous on April 02, 2009, 10:44:50 pm
So, kids, can any of you tell us how to play dumb?
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on April 03, 2009, 10:03:51 am
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?



Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 03, 2009, 04:21:06 pm
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Dysfunctional Cunt on April 03, 2009, 04:32:25 pm
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

My father told me when I was 16 he would buy me an Alpha Romeo Spider Veloce as soonas I could afford it.  Reality hit in the middle of my jumpingup and down in excitement.  I've used that with my kids a lot.  Sure, i'll buy you those $190.00 Nikes just as soon as you can afford them.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Darth Cupcake on April 03, 2009, 04:39:53 pm
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

Be careful what you wish for.

When I was 15, I told my mom I wanted a car when I got my license. She said sure, I could have any car I wanted... if I bought it.

A year and a half later when I got my license, I had $6k in the bank and she was faced with a daughter who was very, very prepared to buy that bright red sports car.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on April 03, 2009, 05:41:18 pm
but YOU bought it
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Darth Cupcake on April 03, 2009, 06:03:02 pm
Yes, but I think she holds me singularly responsible for 90% of her gray hairs. :cry:
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: LMNO on April 03, 2009, 07:12:41 pm
That's what mothers* do.














































*sombunallbumosoitsnolikethersadiffrencsisit?
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Darth Cupcake on April 03, 2009, 07:18:42 pm
Yes.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on April 04, 2009, 12:36:15 am
two lazy two look up the #. Yes, YOU CAN have it. How are you going to PAY for it?

dude, that's a good one.

Be careful what you wish for.

When I was 15, I told my mom I wanted a car when I got my license. She said sure, I could have any car I wanted... if I bought it.

A year and a half later when I got my license, I had $6k in the bank and she was faced with a daughter who was very, very prepared to buy that bright red sports car.

I'm still waiting for her to want a knife.

I mean she's only seven now. When does Knife fascination kick in for kids?

I mean I've got her to the point where I'm confident that if i walk away while she's sooking that she would make it fine with no supervision.

It's mainly an agreement with the mother that keeps me from doing so.


She has started to make french toast better than I do.

Nut anyways.... Knives.... how do you generate intrest bedsides merely giving her the dice, slice and chop jobs?

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: the other anonymous on April 04, 2009, 12:46:43 am
She has started to make freedom toast better than I do.

Is that still funny? Or did I miss an administration?

-toa,
the only truth is in the old jokes
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on April 04, 2009, 01:41:20 am
She has started to make freedom toast better than I do.

Is that still funny? Or did I miss an administration?

-toa,
the only truth is in the old jokes
it was never funny. our standards were low at that point.

Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on May 29, 2009, 03:33:00 am
My grandfather always does this senile schtick. My cousins (who are quite young) play along for a while and then eventually get to the stage where it qualifies for this thread.

I think it would work far less well if he actually was senile, though it helps that he doesn't act senile particularly convincingly.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: fomenter on May 29, 2009, 04:47:14 am
I'm still waiting for her to want a knife.

I mean she's only seven now. When does Knife fascination kick in for kids?



Nut anyways.... Knives.... how do you generate intrest bedsides merely giving her the dice, slice and chop jobs?


don't know for girls but dads swiss army getting pulled out and used to mcgiver things (before the tv show existed) in usfull ways got me knife happy at a young age
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: bones on May 29, 2009, 10:15:49 am
"So what do you do for a living?"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Cain on June 01, 2009, 06:15:11 pm
Anything you say to your kids which is from the....amazingly NSFW Morning Glory (http://misc.classpc.nl/morningglory/comics.html) webcomic would likely be met with stunned silence at best.

About the most SFW example below:

(http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/5895/mg29.jpg)
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Fuquad on June 01, 2009, 08:57:14 pm
"Get me meat and some pudding. I'm going to have a dipping party."
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 01, 2009, 09:06:07 pm
"Get me meat and some pudding. I'm going to have a dipping party."

 :lulz: Good one!
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Doktor Howl on October 04, 2010, 10:12:42 pm
This thread reminds me of when an outraged TGG discovered upon learning to read that Snow White and the 7 Dwarves doesn't end with cannibalism and horror.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Jasper on October 04, 2010, 10:24:01 pm
The OP made me snark up coffee and I had to run to the bathroom to wipe my nose.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 04, 2010, 10:44:49 pm
This thread reminds me of when an outraged TGG discovered upon learning to read that Snow White and the 7 Dwarves doesn't end with cannibalism and horror.

Hahahaha! Oh god. That, in turn, reminds me that day before yesterday EFO cheerfully said, "Other people's pain is funny."
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Nast on October 05, 2010, 01:04:17 am
"That may be true, but how do you really feel about it?"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Nast on October 05, 2010, 01:19:52 am
"Have you considered that this might be hurting your political career?"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 05, 2010, 08:59:28 am
 :lulz: Oh, those are good ones! Though I am finding that my kids are finding more and better comebacks as they get older.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Iron Sulfide on October 22, 2010, 09:14:52 pm
that just means you're teaching them well.
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: Disco Pickle on October 22, 2010, 09:49:45 pm
when they tell you something that would be mundane to anyone older but they think is a horrible horrible tragedy:

"you think that's bad?  you should have seen the accident I had when I was your age.  It involved a shopping cart, a banana peel, a rabid squirrel and a big glass jar of nuts..  it was a nightmare.  Just imagine..  ."

then look at them with your serious face on..

"nuts..   nuts EVERYWHERE"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: indifferent betty on January 25, 2011, 01:01:17 pm
how about "...you can talk!! at least i'm not attractive!!"
Title: Re: 101 things to say to children that will be greeted with silence
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2011, 02:12:19 pm
how about "...you can talk!! at least i'm not attractive!!"

Oh, hello, Shub.