Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 06:12:10 pm

Title: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 06:12:10 pm
Okay, having lost 35 pounds, a few people have asked me how I did it.  What you're going to get here is a very difficult plan that requires discipline.  There is no easy way.  I'd also like to give credit to Nigel, who helped develop the bare-bones plan that the doctor gave me into a more comprehensive and effective method.

First, cut out all of the following:

Fast food.  No exceptions other than salads.
Anything that went in a deep fryer.  Period.
Booze of any kind.  No exceptions, no days off.
Junk food (chips, ice cream, pastries, etc)
Non-diet soda.  This one is a killer.

You will notice that I have not mentioned carbs, etc.  There is good reason for this.  You NEED carbs.

Second, plan your calorie limit.  Nigel pointed out a really good site, http://thedailyplate.com  Go there, and plug in your height, weight, age, etc, and tell it the following, no matter what the real case is:

1.  I wish to maintain my present weight.
2.  I do low/moderate exercise

When you do this, it will give you your "break even" calories.  Subtract 500 from this number.  This is your target goal, every day except Sunday.  On Sunday, hit your break even number, but don't exceed it.  You need to do this to be in decent condition for Monday at work, and to give yourself a rest.

Third, plan your diet, using the number generated above for your total daily intake.  HOWEVER, no meal should be larger than the following example:

1.  Two slices of bread, low cal mayo, and either a piece of cheese OR meat the size of the palm of your hand.
2.  A pile of veggies the size of your fist.

Calculate the calories involved (regging an account at the daily plate opens up all kinds of neat tools for doing this), and you can figure the number of meals per day.  This is important...the idea is to shrink your stomach.  Multiple small meals are better than 3 solid meals.  Space these out evenly over the day.  Plan 340 calories for 2 slimfasts or the like.  This is important, and I'll cover it later.  Also, plan 90 calories for bed time (also covered later)

If you aren't having a sammich, then substitute it with the food you are going to eat, but nothing larger than your fist in total volume.

Fourth,  Eat a piece of fruit within 20 minutes of waking up (or veggies, etc), to keep your body from going into conservation mode.

Fifth, Veggies should be about 80% of your diet.  This has the added advantage of being CHEAP.  ONE piece of fruit per day (loose fruit like berries, etc, should again be the size of your fist.)  Bear in mind that for these purposes, tomatoes are veggies, but corn and peas are fruit.

Sixth, DO NOT EAT WHILE ON THE COMPUTER OR WHILE WATCHING TV.  If it's time to eat, get away from the comp or TV.  Break the habit of eating while you do these things, they're killers.

Seventh, Diet soda has zero calories.  Coffee has 4 calories per cup, tea has zero, and water has zero.  No milk (if you need calcium, take Tums), no juice.

Eighth, LEAVE THE TABLE HUNGRY.  Do NOT fill up with low/no cal food like pickles, etc.  The idea here is to shrink your stomach, which will ease unnecessary hunger.  When you get too fucking hungry, have one of your two slimfasts.  They're nothing but Potassium, and will trick your hunger for a couple of hours.

Ninth, Eat a salad right before bed.  Garden salad ONLY.  No meat, no eggs, no anything.  Lettuce and sliced veggies only.  Use either balsamic vinagarette or low fat Italian dressing.  DO NOT PUT THE DRESSING ON THE SALAD, leave it on the side, and dip into it.  This salad will let you go to bed without an empty stomach, and will also have the added advantage of making you shit the whole world out of your guts in the morning, which will make you feel better than you'd think possible.

Tenth, NO CHEATING.  NO "VACATIONS".  Not even if you're at a fucking wedding.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I cannot stress this enough.

Eleventh  Do cardio workouts.  Do not lift weights.  All the weights you need are already attached to your fat ass.  Treadmill is best (eliptical if you have bad knees), go as fast as you can comfortably walk for one hour, then a 5 minute cool down.  If you can't afford the gym, just go for a walk, but keep your pace up.  Drive out a 2 mile route, and use it.  When that becomes easy, and it will, add a mile.  4-6 miles is the most you want to do.  IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT, DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT - RUN.  Your knees won't like it.  Calculate the calories (daily plate or elsewhere) burned AND ADD THEM TO YOUR DAILY ALLOWANCE.  Replace those calories, you'll need them.  The purpose of exercise is to stimulate your metabolism, not burn fat.  It requires a marathon to lose one pound of real weight.  Lastly, drink loads of water while doing this and DO NOT WEAR PLASTIC OR WHATEVER TO MAKE YOURSELF SWEAT.  Water weight loss is an illusion, and will FUCK YOUR KIDNEYS UP.  Work out for two days straight, then take a day off, then two more days, then a day off, etc.

Twelvth, NO FUCKING CHEATING.  NO VACATIONS.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  EAT NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T PLANNED INTO YOUR DIET.  This is NOT easy, for the first several weeks you are going to be in pain from hunger, feel weak, cranky, everything else.  This is NORMAL.   It is the price you pay for NOT BEING A FATASS.  The Slimfasts are there to help you.

There's a few more hints I'll post as they come to mind, and I'd appreciate Nigel's input, but that's the basic plan.

Okay for now,
Dok.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 16, 2010, 08:28:34 pm
This is good. This is very good.

I am going to add one thing, which I call "GO OUTSIDE".

Yes, that's right. You're eating well, you're in control of your calories, you have a gym membership. Know what? Is the gym fucking OUTSIDE? No, it isn't. GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE

Cheapest workout program you have ever met.

OK, sure, you live in a  desert and it's 120 degrees or your free time is in the middle of the night and you'd rather not get raped. So go to the gym. But everyone else, spend a motherfucking hour a day outside. Not on your ass; just wandering around. It's like a goddamn miracle, how much better you'll feel. Sometimes it even cures depression.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on April 16, 2010, 08:42:40 pm
Dok, that sounds about right.


Harder thing to do than it sounds, really: Food, eat less of it.  Movement, do more of it.

I'm trying.  Just by going to the gym at lunch, I'm down from 211 to 207.


I was gonna keep it to myself, but maybe we should have a "DON'T BE A FATASS" mini-thread.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on April 16, 2010, 09:58:54 pm
I have to disagree about the not lifting weights thing, being strong is awesome and more muscle helps you burn fat.  And carbs or not, protein is where it's at.

I don't even own a set of weights or a gym membership, I just have a duffle bag full of rocks that I do a couple of exercises with every day (either pushups/deadlifts or pullups/squats, alternating).  My tiny T-rex arms are laughably weak but I've actually built some muscle on them which is awesome.
 
I also do high intensity interval training (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training) cause I don't have the willpower to do long periods of cardio.  My knees are in good enough shape that I can sprint for a couple minutes without fear of injuring myself, though you can do it with swimming or biking or whatever.  It doesn't take very long and most importantly it's interesting and gives me something to think about besides whether or not I'm going to have an asthma attack.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 10:04:03 pm
I have to disagree about the not lifting weights thing, being strong is awesome and more muscle helps you burn fat.  And carbs or not, protein is where it's at.

I don't even own a set of weights or a gym membership, I just have a duffle bag full of rocks that I do a couple of exercises with every day (either pushups/deadlifts or pullups/squats, alternating).  My tiny T-rex arms are laughably weak but I've actually built some muscle on them which is awesome.
 
I also do high intensity interval training (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training) cause I don't have the willpower to do long periods of cardio.  My knees are in good enough shape that I can sprint for a couple minutes without fear of injuring myself, though you can do it with swimming or biking or whatever.  It doesn't take very long and most importantly it's interesting and gives me something to think about besides whether or not I'm going to have an asthma attack.

I'm just saying what worked for me. 

And any workout is better than none, but for fat burn, you can't beat cardio.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Hoopla! on April 16, 2010, 10:45:06 pm
Dude, thank you for this.  I am going to do it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 10:46:30 pm
Dude, thank you for this.  I am going to do it.

No sweat.  Good luck...If I said it was easy, I'd be lying.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 16, 2010, 10:48:15 pm
I should also add that 80% veggie diet will make you fart like a misfiring jet engine, so that's an added benefit.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: h-town on April 17, 2010, 06:30:12 am
When I first moved to Toronto from Vancouver I weighed 185 pounds. I used to skateboard for hours every day and I went to the gym 3-4 times a week.

I might not look it in the contemporary picture of myself to the left but I now weigh 260 pounds  :argh!:

I recently bought a body fat scale and I've cut out fast food, I'm mostly eating a vegetarian diet like I used to. I've also joined the YMCA down the block from where I live.

I lost 5 pounds this week so far. Probably by the end of the summer I'll be down to a much more attractive weight.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Faust on April 17, 2010, 01:19:35 pm
I have to disagree about the not lifting weights thing, being strong is awesome and more muscle helps you burn fat.  And carbs or not, protein is where it's at.

I don't even own a set of weights or a gym membership, I just have a duffle bag full of rocks that I do a couple of exercises with every day (either pushups/deadlifts or pullups/squats, alternating).  My tiny T-rex arms are laughably weak but I've actually built some muscle on them which is awesome.
 
I also do high intensity interval training (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training) cause I don't have the willpower to do long periods of cardio.  My knees are in good enough shape that I can sprint for a couple minutes without fear of injuring myself, though you can do it with swimming or biking or whatever.  It doesn't take very long and most importantly it's interesting and gives me something to think about besides whether or not I'm going to have an asthma attack.
The problem with weights is, it ties mass into muscle. Which is fine, if you are definitely going to keep with it. Because if you stop, those muscles are going to turn into flab and contribute to the problem.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 17, 2010, 04:11:34 pm
Muscle doesn't turn into flab. If you lose muscle mass because you stop working out, but you continue eating as if you were working out, you will store fat, but muscle doesn't just magically convert to fat. This is true regardless of what kind of workout you're doing. The answer is to be aware of your baseline calorie requirements, and how much more you should eat if you, say, went for a 4-mile run or lifted weights for an hour.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Faust on April 18, 2010, 12:51:57 am
Muscle doesn't turn into flab. If you lose muscle mass because you stop working out, but you continue eating as if you were working out, you will store fat, but muscle doesn't just magically convert to fat. This is true regardless of what kind of workout you're doing. The answer is to be aware of your baseline calorie requirements, and how much more you should eat if you, say, went for a 4-mile run or lifted weights for an hour.

Ok I see, so the cause isn't muscle to flab its that maintaining the same diet after stopping muscle exercise will result in weight gain.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 18, 2010, 02:06:45 am
Muscle doesn't turn into flab. If you lose muscle mass because you stop working out, but you continue eating as if you were working out, you will store fat, but muscle doesn't just magically convert to fat. This is true regardless of what kind of workout you're doing. The answer is to be aware of your baseline calorie requirements, and how much more you should eat if you, say, went for a 4-mile run or lifted weights for an hour.

Ok I see, so the cause isn't muscle to flab its that maintaining the same diet after stopping muscle exercise will result in weight gain.

Yeah, exactly, because while you're working out your caloric requirements for maintaining your current weight are higher.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on April 18, 2010, 10:00:22 pm
On the upside, this diet will likely get easier as you go along (it did for me, anyway), especially since fried things and some kinds of oil will start to taste funny. I can't use canola oil anymore because it tastes weird, for example. And something I found that makes my stomach shut up is ensuring that pretty much whatever I eat has at least seven grams of protein.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on April 18, 2010, 10:07:14 pm
On the upside, this diet will likely get easier as you go along (it did for me, anyway), especially since fried things and some kinds of oil will start to taste funny. I can't use canola oil anymore because it tastes weird, for example. And something I found that makes my stomach shut up is ensuring that pretty much whatever I eat has at least seven grams of protein.

Yeah, the big disgusting terrible bacon cheeseburger that I used to love?  The very smell makes me ill now.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 18, 2010, 10:11:59 pm
On the "working out" tip of the not being a fat bastard, I finally found someone to go hiking with, which means I can stop procrastinating. Maybe I'll put some beans in the garden while I'm waiting for her.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on April 25, 2010, 01:45:18 am
Okay, having lost 35 pounds, a few people have asked me how I did it.  What you're going to get here is a very difficult plan that requires discipline.  There is no easy way.  I'd also like to give credit to Nigel, who helped develop the bare-bones plan that the doctor gave me into a more comprehensive and effective method.

First, cut out all of the following:

Fast food.  No exceptions other than salads.
Anything that went in a deep fryer.  Period.
Booze of any kind.  No exceptions, no days off.
Junk food (chips, ice cream, pastries, etc)
Non-diet soda.  This one is a killer.

You will notice that I have not mentioned carbs, etc.  There is good reason for this.  You NEED carbs.

Second, plan your calorie limit.  Nigel pointed out a really good site, http://thedailyplate.com  Go there, and plug in your height, weight, age, etc, and tell it the following, no matter what the real case is:

1.  I wish to maintain my present weight.
2.  I do low/moderate exercise

When you do this, it will give you your "break even" calories.  Subtract 500 from this number.  This is your target goal, every day except Sunday.  On Sunday, hit your break even number, but don't exceed it.  You need to do this to be in decent condition for Monday at work, and to give yourself a rest.

Third, plan your diet, using the number generated above for your total daily intake.  HOWEVER, no meal should be larger than the following example:

1.  Two slices of bread, low cal mayo, and either a piece of cheese OR meat the size of the palm of your hand.
2.  A pile of veggies the size of your fist.

Calculate the calories involved (regging an account at the daily plate opens up all kinds of neat tools for doing this), and you can figure the number of meals per day.  This is important...the idea is to shrink your stomach.  Multiple small meals are better than 3 solid meals.  Space these out evenly over the day.  Plan 340 calories for 2 slimfasts or the like.  This is important, and I'll cover it later.  Also, plan 90 calories for bed time (also covered later)

If you aren't having a sammich, then substitute it with the food you are going to eat, but nothing larger than your fist in total volume.

Fourth,  Eat a piece of fruit within 20 minutes of waking up (or veggies, etc), to keep your body from going into conservation mode.

Fifth, Veggies should be about 80% of your diet.  This has the added advantage of being CHEAP.  ONE piece of fruit per day (loose fruit like berries, etc, should again be the size of your fist.)  Bear in mind that for these purposes, tomatoes are veggies, but corn and peas are fruit.

Sixth, DO NOT EAT WHILE ON THE COMPUTER OR WHILE WATCHING TV.  If it's time to eat, get away from the comp or TV.  Break the habit of eating while you do these things, they're killers.

Seventh, Diet soda has zero calories.  Coffee has 4 calories per cup, tea has zero, and water has zero.  No milk (if you need calcium, take Tums), no juice.

Eighth, LEAVE THE TABLE HUNGRY.  Do NOT fill up with low/no cal food like pickles, etc.  The idea here is to shrink your stomach, which will ease unnecessary hunger.  When you get too fucking hungry, have one of your two slimfasts.  They're nothing but Potassium, and will trick your hunger for a couple of hours.

Ninth, Eat a salad right before bed.  Garden salad ONLY.  No meat, no eggs, no anything.  Lettuce and sliced veggies only.  Use either balsamic vinagarette or low fat Italian dressing.  DO NOT PUT THE DRESSING ON THE SALAD, leave it on the side, and dip into it.  This salad will let you go to bed without an empty stomach, and will also have the added advantage of making you shit the whole world out of your guts in the morning, which will make you feel better than you'd think possible.

Tenth, NO CHEATING.  NO "VACATIONS".  Not even if you're at a fucking wedding.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I cannot stress this enough.

Eleventh  Do cardio workouts.  Do not lift weights.  All the weights you need are already attached to your fat ass.  Treadmill is best (eliptical if you have bad knees), go as fast as you can comfortably walk for one hour, then a 5 minute cool down.  If you can't afford the gym, just go for a walk, but keep your pace up.  Drive out a 2 mile route, and use it.  When that becomes easy, and it will, add a mile.  4-6 miles is the most you want to do.  IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT, DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT - RUN.  Your knees won't like it.  Calculate the calories (daily plate or elsewhere) burned AND ADD THEM TO YOUR DAILY ALLOWANCE.  Replace those calories, you'll need them.  The purpose of exercise is to stimulate your metabolism, not burn fat.  It requires a marathon to lose one pound of real weight.  Lastly, drink loads of water while doing this and DO NOT WEAR PLASTIC OR WHATEVER TO MAKE YOURSELF SWEAT.  Water weight loss is an illusion, and will FUCK YOUR KIDNEYS UP.  Work out for two days straight, then take a day off, then two more days, then a day off, etc.

Twelvth, NO FUCKING CHEATING.  NO VACATIONS.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  EAT NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T PLANNED INTO YOUR DIET.  This is NOT easy, for the first several weeks you are going to be in pain from hunger, feel weak, cranky, everything else.  This is NORMAL.   It is the price you pay for NOT BEING A FATASS.  The Slimfasts are there to help you.

There's a few more hints I'll post as they come to mind, and I'd appreciate Nigel's input, but that's the basic plan.

Okay for now,
Dok.

:mittens: on everything but alcohol and weight lifting. Limited amounts of red wine & some dark lagers (1-2 servings, depending on your body type/height) can help your heart and weight. If you're a person who likes to drink more than that then stick to just not drinking because the benefits are negated after 1 or 2 servings. Weight lifting to build certain muscles will cause the muscles to burn up more calories in the long-run. Your focus should definitely be cardio if you're obese/overweight, but weight training is not necessarily bad and can be helpful in burning fat.

Additionally, hiring a trainer or getting a friend to work out with you will help you stick to your plan.

EDIT: Try to avoid soda entirely actually, it's been shown that even diet soda can hinder weight loss in addition to stripping calcium from your bones. Consider green tea or water in place of popping opening a soda.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Adios on May 03, 2010, 05:40:36 pm
You lost me at no alcohol.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 03, 2010, 05:50:30 pm
You lost me at no alcohol.

Everyone's gotta make their choices.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Adios on May 03, 2010, 06:03:43 pm
Way too damn late for me to even try to be healthy.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Shibboleet The Annihilator on May 03, 2010, 07:07:58 pm
It's never too late, even if you're literally dying.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on May 03, 2010, 07:53:41 pm
IIRC alcohol metabolizes directly into fat pretty much, plus most of it comes with tons of sugar.  But I restrict all my bad behavior to the weekends, alcohol included.  I also generally only allow meals that are A) high in fat or B) high in carbs but not C) high in both.  And vegetables, lots and lots of vegetables.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Fractalbeard on May 04, 2010, 05:28:09 am
Congrats Doc!
I lost 30 last year by eating in a very similar way, same basic idea, and kept it off (though I should really jump it up some more notches to lose more...)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Adios on May 04, 2010, 04:13:30 pm
It's never too late, even if you're literally dying.

We can discuss in another thread if you like, I don't want to derail this one.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rumckle on May 15, 2010, 01:40:32 pm
EDIT: Try to avoid soda entirely actually, it's been shown that even diet soda can hinder weight loss in addition to stripping calcium from your bones. Consider green tea or water in place of popping opening a soda.


I seem to remember reading that artificial sweeteners stimulate your appetite, so drinking diet-soda will just make you hungry, making it harder to stick to your diet.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 15, 2010, 04:15:26 pm
I recently discovered bubbly soda water. Nothing expensive or fancy mineral bullshit, it just has to have bubbles.

The problem with water is, that if you're not just drinking for thirst, but just for having something to drink, I generally finish a glass of water in 2 or 3 big gulps. But if the water's fizzy, you can't drink as fast and it lasts longer, which is nice.

Also once you get used to it, the taste is actually pretty good (CO2 definitely changes the flavour of water--it's usually not the minerals you're really tasting).

Also you can mix it half-half with OJ or apple juice. Fruit juice has a bit more calories of course, but in a 50/50 mix with sodawater it's not bad and the sugar levels are a lot more sane so it actually quenches thirst.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rumckle on May 15, 2010, 04:20:42 pm
Also once you get used to it, the taste is actually pretty good (CO2 definitely changes the flavour of water--it's usually not the minerals you're really tasting).


H2O + CO2 = H2CO3 (Carbonic acid)

:)
Soda water (as we call it here) is pretty tasty, I like to add a little bit of lime juice to it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 15, 2010, 04:29:13 pm
I've decided that this last year before I turn 40 is my Year of Vanity. I am having all the hair permanently removed from the places I don't want hair, riding my bike,  hiking, running, and being hardcore about my diet in a big bad way until I lose 10-15 lbs. (I'm not sure which; my scale is kind of broken.) I quit smoking altogether last week (I was smoking 1-3 cigarettes a day, and it was starting to gross me out) and from now until I look the way I want to look, I am having no alcohol, no pasta, no bread, and no white rice. I am still allowing myself whole fats, which means bacon grease, butter, and cold-pressed untreated oils. My only exception will be girls' night out, when I can have up to three servings of vodka or whiskey with soda water.

For beverages I am having only green tea with lemon, and water. Once a week I'm having a juice day; I have a juicer so I can just buy a few pounds of fruits/veggies and go to town.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on May 18, 2010, 08:15:07 pm
Hey, look at that.  I lost another pound.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on May 24, 2010, 06:57:18 pm
Sweet merciful fuck, there goes another 2 pounds.



LMNO
-looking to crack the 200 mark.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Adios on May 24, 2010, 07:05:45 pm
:mittens:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jasper on May 25, 2010, 06:27:36 am
Using this post for motivation, I too have made good progress.  Down from (roughly) 180 to (exactly) 173 since this was first posted.  Now I'm not fat, but I maintain a bit of a gut.  Any tips on how to proceed?  Or, do I just do more of the same?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 25, 2010, 06:51:43 am
Siggy, you are a slim little thing!

I am also gut-prone, which is why I have to lose these last few pounds. It's slower going than I wanted but I'm down to 138, finally.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on May 25, 2010, 01:42:23 pm
Using this post for motivation, I too have made good progress.  Down from (roughly) 180 to (exactly) 173 since this was first posted.  Now I'm not fat, but I maintain a bit of a gut.  Any tips on how to proceed?  Or, do I just do more of the same?

I think that it's a lifestyle thing at this point.  Look around, and see if there's something you can change permanently and still be happy with (stop drinking beer at lunch, to take a personal example).  Doing a temporary diet might have some results, but the benefits probably don't outweigh (heh) effort.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 25, 2010, 05:16:22 pm
Down to 136, w00t! The last ten pounds are such a bitch.

The best (and actually, only) way I've found personally to combat the lingering gut, if you are so blessed as to be a person who tends to store fat in their belly, is not just cutting calories but adding exercise, particularly aerobic exercise like walking, hiking, and swimming. 1-2 hours 3 times a week will burn at least 1200 calories and build muscle.

The gut is very bad; us apple-shaped people don't have the luxury of hiding ten extra pounds in our asses; instead it accumulates up around our organs and puts us at risk for heart disease. I tell people that I'm trying to lose ten pounds, and they say "you look great, you don't need to lose ten pounds" but it's not about how I LOOK, it's about the fact that I'm a hypertensive with arrhythmia and the fat in my abdomen is going to kill me if I don't get rid of it.

Gonna be sorry if I lose the fabulous boobies while I'm at it, but oh well.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rev. Dr. Narot on May 25, 2010, 07:11:46 pm
I've been dieting since February, and have put off about 35 pounds so far. This guide is a fucking amazing, ingenius, and properly written diet guide. I'm hovering around my mid-way point for weight loss, and read the guide yesterday. Signed up for the gym this morning, and put my ass on the elliptical machine for an hour.

I like that it frames the responsibility directly at the person, rather than beating around the bush to be nice. My new mantra, you're fat because you eat too fucking much and exercise too little.

Have a few friends that persistently ask about how I manage to diet, yet perpetually never actually do what you need to lose weight. I think I'm going to just hand copies of this guide to them rather than waste the breath on explanations...  :argh!:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Suu on May 25, 2010, 07:50:57 pm
Some of the crankiness and soreness can be helped if you take a daily vitamin. I learned this the last time I seriously dieted, and since it appears that I've gotten that fat again, I need to do it again.

My big issue is that because of my work schedule and lack of groceries in my house other than non-dairy coffee creamer and yogurt, I only eat really one meal a day, which is AWFUL for you. I do make it an issue to eat a yogurt as soon as I get up though for the conservation mode reasons. My fruit of choice for breakfast is a banana. Why? Like Dok says, the potassium will trick your hunger for a while, not to mention it's VITAL if you're on your feet all day in food service or retail since it helps control leg cramps. Hopefully once this month's bills are paid and I have more solid grasp of my finances through this job, I'll be signing up for the gym again, because I really miss it, and I was feeling GREAT.

Nigel is also correct about spending time outside. Let your body make that Vitamin D! And walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I've stopped taking the bus transfer up College Hill here in Providence unless it's pouring rain, and I walk up and down that treacherous hill every damn day I work. My legs bitch and moan, but I know in a few weeks It'll start paying off. It's actually already starting to work on my core muscles since it's so steep. Have you ever seen a fat RISD student?! No. They have to climb up and down that damn hill all year.

I can't take a lot of calcium supplements because they milled from crustacean and mollusk shells, which I'm allergic to, so that's part of the reason why I eat a daily yogurt and certain cheeses.

And for the love of god, do NOT give up fats entirely. Really cut them down, but if you go on a no-fat diet, your brain will not be happy and it adds to the crankiness. Your body needs it for proper brain function, and most low-fat or no-fat foods replace natural fats with SUGARS, which turns into the bad kinds of fat.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Adios on May 25, 2010, 09:35:57 pm
I heard someone say once the best exercise is pushing yourself away from the dinner table.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on May 25, 2010, 09:54:24 pm
A cheap and easy way to get a christ-ton of good nutrients in your belly first thing in the morning:
-1 banana
-1 several handfulls of baby spinach, as much as you want.
-enough water (I like plain almond milk) for consitency.

Blend. You won't taste any spinach and it's gone in a flash.
Who needs salad?


I also add chocolate protein powder, but I'm made of mostly gristle. 
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on June 18, 2010, 05:29:15 am
Ok, question on the calories per day thing.  The calories per day the daily plate says for maintaining weight is incredibly high, getting under it it pissantly easy.  So my question is, whats the minimum I can eat (after taking calories burned in exercise into account) per day and still be healthy?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 18, 2010, 06:18:45 am
Ok, question on the calories per day thing.  The calories per day the daily plate says for maintaining weight is incredibly high, getting under it it pissantly easy.  So my question is, whats the minimum I can eat (after taking calories burned in exercise into account) per day and still be healthy?

Depends a lot on your size, but if you're about my size (5'3", optimum weight of 125-130) you shouldn't go below 1200 calories/day. Take a multivitamin if you go that low!

I'm currently 8 lbs above my goal weight, and have slowed down on weight loss; aiming for 4lbs/month.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 18, 2010, 03:06:46 pm
Dok lost two pounds while eating pasty pies last week.  It can only be reasonably concluded that pasty pies are a weight loss tool.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on June 28, 2010, 08:08:24 pm
Burn up more calories than you take in.  The only proven diet.

Salads for lunch, cereal with semi-skimmed milk for breakfast, non-fizzy drinks with substitute sugar, plenty of water and running up and down hills constantly will aid you in this goal.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on June 28, 2010, 08:13:24 pm
I seem to have a standing wave of a two-pound weight loss/gain. 
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 28, 2010, 08:27:58 pm
I seem to have a standing wave of a two-pound weight loss/gain. 

That's probably based on when you took a shit.  Seriously.

I average my weight over the week, preferably after dropping a horrible bomb in the gym's bathroom.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 28, 2010, 08:31:00 pm
Stay away from substitute sugar though; that shit will fuck your appetite and digestive system nine ways to hell. It's one of the few substances that actually fucks with my gut.

Lean meats, protein in the morning, lots of steamed or roasted veggies, and whole grains are the way to go; that, moderation, and exercise.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC on June 28, 2010, 10:11:43 pm
Change it up so you don't get bored. Boredom is the mind killer (not fear, Mr. Atredies, you spag).

This post assumes you have, or have access to a quality centrifugal juicer and a good blender.

Fruit and veg juices are a mindblowing way to get lots of awesome into you. I hear people crying about the amount of sugar in fruit. Fuck you it ain't a Hershey bar. Stupid, ignorant peasants.

If you're making smoothies/juice out of fruit and/or veg. Make about 400 - 500 ml at a time. Do not refrigerate it for later, use it all. Add some ice to the blender. Most importantly. DO NOT FUCKING CHUG IT! Sip them and move it around mouth to mix in the pre-digestive juices in your saliva. v.important! Take a half hour to chew the liquid over and DON'T YOU FUCKING DISAPPOINT ME by having a tasty hot beverage within a half hour of finishing that smoothie.

One of these mofos can take the place of a meal. Don't do this more than once a day and mix up the fruit and veg.

Recipes of my invention and/or adaptation (if it has a cheesy name, I stole it and changed the recipe):
Quote
Liquid Breakfast

   2 apples
3tbs virtually fat free biolive no added sugar yoghurt
   1 banana
   6 icecubes
3tbs frozen berries
   1 handful no added sugar/salt muesli

1tsp/shot wheatgrass juice or powder (optional)
1tsp spirulina powder (optional)

1. Juice the apples and add the juice to the blender with all the other ingredients.

3. Blend to the desired consitency. Enjoy.
Quote
Green Powerhouse Smoothie - Jesus Fuck, This is W1N!

  1 apple
  2 pears
 4" cucumber
 2" brocolli stem
1/2 lime
  1 avocado peeled and stoned
  2 large handfuls of spinach
  
1tsp/shot wheatgrass juice or powder (optional)
1/2 tsp spirulina (optional)

1. Juice everything but the avocado packing the lime and spinach between the other produce. pour the juice into the blender and add the peeled and stoned avocado.

2. Pour over ice and enjoy.

Quote
Creamy Cantaloupe Drinking Salad

1/2 cantaloupe melon
  1 apple
 4" cucumber
  1 avocado
  6 icecubes

1. Juice the apple, cucumber and cantaloupe and add the juice to the blender with the peeled avocado and ice.

3. Blend until smooth. Enjoy.

Quote
Blood Wine

  2 Apples
  2 carrots
  1 Beetroot (not cooked and pickled you fucking retard)
Ĺcm Slice of Fennell
  1 large handful of Spinach

1. Juice everything packing the spinach and fennell tightly between the apples.
2. Enjoy!
Quote
Berry Bounce Smoothie

 1/6 lemon with skin on
   1 apple
   5 carrots
  5" cucumber
   1 banana
 1/4 avocado
3tbs frozen berries
   4 ice cubes

1. Juice the cucumber, apple, carrots and lemon packing the lemon between the other produce.
2. Pour the juice into the blender with the banana, avocado, berries and ice.
3. Blend until smooth. Enjoy!

If you want to make this one ultra thick, add another 1/4 avocado to the blender.

Quote
Alcohol replacement juice - not a meal replacement - Apple and Cucumber Virgin Mojito

 2 Apples
4" Cucumber
 1 loose mug mint leaves (fill up the mug, but don't pack them in!)
 1 Lime
Plenty crushed ice

1. Juice the apples, cucumber and lime with peel on, packing the lime between the other produce.
2. Pour the juice into the blender with the mint leaves and blend until smooth (if using Jason's recommended Philips Aluminium Blender HR2094, use the filter attachment and skip the next step.)
3. Strain the juice to remove the mint leave bits.
4. Pour over the crushed ice and enjoy!

Quote
The Green Goblin

1/2 lime
1/4 pineapple
1/2 bag baby spinach
  2 apples
 1" broccoli stem
 5" cucumber
ice
 
1/2tsp spirulina (optional)
1tsp wheatgrass powder (optional)

1. Packthe lime and spinach between the other produce and juice. Blend the suppliments if using.

2. Pour over ice and enjoy.

Quote
Veggie Powerhouse Smoothie

  3 apples
  1 stick of celery
 5" cucumber
 3" brocolli stem
1/4 yellow pepper
1/4 lemon peeled
1cm ginger
  1 avocado peeled and stoned

1tsp/shot wheatgrass juice or powder (optional)

1. Juice everything but the avocado packing the lemon and ginger between the other produce. pour the juice into the blender and add the peeled and stoned avocado.

2. Pour over ice and enjoy.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on June 29, 2010, 09:05:20 am
Quote
Green Powerhouse Smoothie - Jesus Fuck, This is W1N!

  1 apple
  2 pears
 4" cucumber
 2" brocolli stem
1/2 lime
  1 avocado peeled and stoned
  2 large handfuls of spinach
  
1tsp/shot wheatgrass juice or powder (optional)
1/2 tsp spirulina (optional)

1. Juice everything but the avocado packing the lime and spinach between the other produce. pour the juice into the blender and add the peeled and stoned avocado.

2. Pour over ice and enjoy.

THIS sounds delicious!

I have a blender but no juicer, do you think I can make attempt, or would I really require juicer?

Quote
Creamy Cantaloupe Drinking Salad

1/2 cantaloupe melon
  1 apple
 4" cucumber
  1 avocado
  6 icecubes

1. Juice the apple, cucumber and cantaloupe and add the juice to the blender with the peeled avocado and ice.

3. Blend until smooth. Enjoy.

I'm sorry, I know this is meant for not being fat and all, but if you crispy fry bacon cubes and drain the fat on a kitchen towel, that
would be okay no? Cause this one needs crispy bacon cubes in it.

And possibly some crumbs of Danish blue cheese?

I mean, if you're going to make a cantaloupe salad ...

Quote
Alcohol replacement juice - not a meal replacement - Apple and Cucumber Virgin Mojito

 2 Apples
4" Cucumber
 1 loose mug mint leaves (fill up the mug, but don't pack them in!)
 1 Lime
Plenty crushed ice

1. Juice the apples, cucumber and lime with peel on, packing the lime between the other produce.
2. Pour the juice into the blender with the mint leaves and blend until smooth (if using Jason's recommended Philips Aluminium Blender HR2094, use the filter attachment and skip the next step.)
3. Strain the juice to remove the mint leave bits.
4. Pour over the crushed ice and enjoy!

and then you garnish it with a fresh mint leaf and insert a thick black straw. presentation, presentation :)

Quote
Veggie Powerhouse Smoothie

  3 apples
  1 stick of celery
 5" cucumber
 3" brocolli stem
1/4 yellow pepper
1/4 lemon peeled
1cm ginger
  1 avocado peeled and stoned

1tsp/shot wheatgrass juice or powder (optional)

1. Juice everything but the avocado packing the lemon and ginger between the other produce. pour the juice into the blender and add the peeled and stoned avocado.

2. Pour over ice and enjoy.

no tabasco and/or worcestershire sauce?


hm, I might need to get myself a juicer, then. It's my birthday soon, I was gonna ask for a set of dumbbells, but maybe I need a juicer more badly.

(edit: quote fix)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC on June 29, 2010, 09:44:44 am
Quote
I have a blender but no juicer, do you think I can make attempt, or would I really require juicer?
Trust me it won't work. :lulz:

Glad you liked the idea of the recipes, Trip. I can heartily recommend this juicer:
http://www.amazon.de/Philips-HR1861-00-Aluminium-Entsafter/dp/B0007XHGHA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1277800894&sr=1-9
Seriously. DO NOT buy anything cheaper. If you do it will last 5 minutes and will make crappy juice and I will laugh at you. :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on June 29, 2010, 09:52:53 am
Whew, 93 euros... But it does look verrrry shiny :)

I should ask a friend of mine, she recently got a juicer and is very happy with it. But then, some family of her bf's works at Philips and they often get Philips stuff on the cheap via there, so it might even be the same one.

(They got like a dozen different kinds of those colour-changing lightbulbs and lamps and shit :) )
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rev. St. Syn, KSC on June 29, 2010, 10:05:57 am
Tell all your family and friends what you want. Birthday dontations FTW. Especially if your friend gets a family discount at Philips! :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: BADGE OF HONOR on July 07, 2010, 07:04:07 pm
You can skip the ice by just freezing the bananas or whatever.

-Badge, does not have a good blender.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on July 29, 2010, 08:07:20 pm
Fucking alcohol gets me. I enjoy my once a week binge. :(
SO---If we do not want to exclude it out of our diets completely, what would anyone suggest for a low cal- adult beverage?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jenne on July 29, 2010, 08:13:51 pm
Fucking alcohol gets me. I enjoy my once a week binge. :(
SO---If we do not want to exclude it out of our diets completely, what would anyone suggest for a low cal- adult beverage?

For bingeing?  Or casually drinking?  I think BEER is the most fattening.  Red wine, least calories.  Nigel's made the point about less calories for your bang if you drink the hard stuff and mix it with carolrie-free ingredients.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: AFK on July 29, 2010, 08:24:07 pm
Fucking alcohol gets me. I enjoy my once a week binge. :(
SO---If we do not want to exclude it out of our diets completely, what would anyone suggest for a low cal- adult beverage?

Drink water.
Run around in circles.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on July 29, 2010, 08:35:20 pm
Fucking alcohol gets me. I enjoy my once a week binge. :(
SO---If we do not want to exclude it out of our diets completely, what would anyone suggest for a low cal- adult beverage?

For bingeing?  Or casually drinking?  I think BEER is the most fattening.  Red wine, least calories.  Nigel's made the point about less calories for your bang if you drink the hard stuff and mix it with carolrie-free ingredients.

For bingeing of course. ;)

Yeah-with the hard liquor I usually just use diet coke and rum.
I wonder what which liquor has the least amount of calories.

They need to invent a friggin "diet beer".

I've been poor lately and cannot afford Good wine anymore. :(
And the cheap stuff gives me a massive headache.

So-then yeah, what Nigel said then eh-hard stuff with zero cal mixers for now.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on July 29, 2010, 08:36:31 pm
Fucking alcohol gets me. I enjoy my once a week binge. :(
SO---If we do not want to exclude it out of our diets completely, what would anyone suggest for a low cal- adult beverage?

Drink water.
Run around in circles.



The Totally Free binge!  :p

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Stelpa on August 04, 2010, 05:25:02 pm
My weight-loss plan: Be Vegetarian

Yay protein deficiency!  :wink:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on August 09, 2010, 07:18:52 pm
My weight-loss plan: Be Vegetarian

Yay protein deficiency!  :wink:

thats what tofu is for. Making massive miso soups with loads of tofu with buckwheat noodles, seaweed, and some steamed fish if your feeling that way inclined.

Anyone have any ideas on how many calories thar would be in that sort of thing?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on August 10, 2010, 12:15:42 am
My weight-loss plan: Be Vegetarian

Yay protein deficiency!  :wink:
I'm a vegetarian and won't touch tofu, but I never have a problem with protein. Eggs, dairy, and nuts, my friend.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on August 10, 2010, 02:26:28 am
My weight-loss plan: Be Vegetarian

Yay protein deficiency!  :wink:
I'm a vegetarian and won't touch tofu, but I never have a problem with protein. Eggs, dairy, and nuts, my friend.

Eggs are bad for losing weight.  Eat turkey instead.  It's okay, they like it.  Like schmoos.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on August 10, 2010, 02:39:06 am
At this point, I'm a vegetarian because it's easier than going back. But good to know, Dok. I'll keep that in mind next time an omelet starts to sound good.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Stelpa on August 10, 2010, 05:32:38 am
My weight-loss plan: Be Vegetarian

Yay protein deficiency!  :wink:
I'm a vegetarian and won't touch tofu, but I never have a problem with protein. Eggs, dairy, and nuts, my friend.

Eggs are bad for losing weight.  Eat turkey instead.  It's okay, they like it.  Like schmoos.

DONT WORRY SIR I AM RICH IN PROTEIN :D
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on August 12, 2010, 06:40:30 pm
For me tofu only works in oriental cooking. otherwise its just uurgh..
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on August 24, 2010, 05:23:12 am
Anybody know how to calculate calories burned hiking?

I have a suspicion its the same as walking the same distance (less burn on the way down) but I'm not sure.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on August 31, 2010, 06:05:00 pm
Quote
I have a blender but no juicer, do you think I can make attempt, or would I really require juicer?
Trust me it won't work. :lulz:

Glad you liked the idea of the recipes, Trip. I can heartily recommend this juicer:
http://www.amazon.de/Philips-HR1861-00-Aluminium-Entsafter/dp/B0007XHGHA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen&qid=1277800894&sr=1-9
Seriously. DO NOT buy anything cheaper. If you do it will last 5 minutes and will make crappy juice and I will laugh at you. :)

Aaargh goddamn my birthday is coming up (thursday) and they priced it up to 115 euros ... :-(

Hey BTW, does it also do oranges? How does that work, won't you get bitter flavour from the peel? Or does it somehow peel it for you? What about grapes? If it squashes the pits in grapes, those taste horrible.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on September 15, 2010, 09:45:10 am
Anybody know how to calculate calories burned hiking?

I have a suspicion its the same as walking the same distance (less burn on the way down) but I'm not sure.

I found an answer to this if anybody is curious, the difference for flat walking versus up then down is pretty small, 3 calories per 100 feet up per 100 pounds of weight.  (Assuming the source is accurate).
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ob_Portu on October 27, 2010, 02:12:46 pm
Just eat blood.

Seriously.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ob_Portu on October 27, 2010, 02:13:49 pm
ORGANIC free range WILLING blood.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 27, 2010, 08:40:46 pm
Anybody know how to calculate calories burned hiking?

I have a suspicion its the same as walking the same distance (less burn on the way down) but I'm not sure.

I found an answer to this if anybody is curious, the difference for flat walking versus up then down is pretty small, 3 calories per 100 feet up per 100 pounds of weight.  (Assuming the source is accurate).

Hiking uneven terrain burns more calories than walking a smooth incline, because of the extra muscles engaged in keeping your balance. So it depends a lot.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: ranacuaro on October 29, 2010, 05:48:32 am
Okay, having lost 35 pounds, a few people have asked me how I did it.  What you're going to get here is a very difficult plan that requires discipline.  There is no easy way.  I'd also like to give credit to Nigel, who helped develop the bare-bones plan that the doctor gave me into a more comprehensive and effective method.

First, cut out all of the following:

Fast food.  No exceptions other than salads.
Anything that went in a deep fryer.  Period.
Booze of any kind.  No exceptions, no days off.
Junk food (chips, ice cream, pastries, etc)
Non-diet soda.  This one is a killer.

You will notice that I have not mentioned carbs, etc.  There is good reason for this.  You NEED carbs.

Second, plan your calorie limit.  Nigel pointed out a really good site, http://thedailyplate.com  Go there, and plug in your height, weight, age, etc, and tell it the following, no matter what the real case is:

1.  I wish to maintain my present weight.
2.  I do low/moderate exercise

When you do this, it will give you your "break even" calories.  Subtract 500 from this number.  This is your target goal, every day except Sunday.  On Sunday, hit your break even number, but don't exceed it.  You need to do this to be in decent condition for Monday at work, and to give yourself a rest.

Third, plan your diet, using the number generated above for your total daily intake.  HOWEVER, no meal should be larger than the following example:

1.  Two slices of bread, low cal mayo, and either a piece of cheese OR meat the size of the palm of your hand.
2.  A pile of veggies the size of your fist.

Calculate the calories involved (regging an account at the daily plate opens up all kinds of neat tools for doing this), and you can figure the number of meals per day.  This is important...the idea is to shrink your stomach.  Multiple small meals are better than 3 solid meals.  Space these out evenly over the day.  Plan 340 calories for 2 slimfasts or the like.  This is important, and I'll cover it later.  Also, plan 90 calories for bed time (also covered later)

If you aren't having a sammich, then substitute it with the food you are going to eat, but nothing larger than your fist in total volume.

Fourth,  Eat a piece of fruit within 20 minutes of waking up (or veggies, etc), to keep your body from going into conservation mode.

Fifth, Veggies should be about 80% of your diet.  This has the added advantage of being CHEAP.  ONE piece of fruit per day (loose fruit like berries, etc, should again be the size of your fist.)  Bear in mind that for these purposes, tomatoes are veggies, but corn and peas are fruit.

Sixth, DO NOT EAT WHILE ON THE COMPUTER OR WHILE WATCHING TV.  If it's time to eat, get away from the comp or TV.  Break the habit of eating while you do these things, they're killers.

Seventh, Diet soda has zero calories.  Coffee has 4 calories per cup, tea has zero, and water has zero.  No milk (if you need calcium, take Tums), no juice.

Eighth, LEAVE THE TABLE HUNGRY.  Do NOT fill up with low/no cal food like pickles, etc.  The idea here is to shrink your stomach, which will ease unnecessary hunger.  When you get too fucking hungry, have one of your two slimfasts.  They're nothing but Potassium, and will trick your hunger for a couple of hours.

Ninth, Eat a salad right before bed.  Garden salad ONLY.  No meat, no eggs, no anything.  Lettuce and sliced veggies only.  Use either balsamic vinagarette or low fat Italian dressing.  DO NOT PUT THE DRESSING ON THE SALAD, leave it on the side, and dip into it.  This salad will let you go to bed without an empty stomach, and will also have the added advantage of making you shit the whole world out of your guts in the morning, which will make you feel better than you'd think possible.

Tenth, NO CHEATING.  NO "VACATIONS".  Not even if you're at a fucking wedding.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  I cannot stress this enough.

Eleventh  Do cardio workouts.  Do not lift weights.  All the weights you need are already attached to your fat ass.  Treadmill is best (eliptical if you have bad knees), go as fast as you can comfortably walk for one hour, then a 5 minute cool down.  If you can't afford the gym, just go for a walk, but keep your pace up.  Drive out a 2 mile route, and use it.  When that becomes easy, and it will, add a mile.  4-6 miles is the most you want to do.  IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT, DO NOT - I REPEAT DO NOT - RUN.  Your knees won't like it.  Calculate the calories (daily plate or elsewhere) burned AND ADD THEM TO YOUR DAILY ALLOWANCE.  Replace those calories, you'll need them.  The purpose of exercise is to stimulate your metabolism, not burn fat.  It requires a marathon to lose one pound of real weight.  Lastly, drink loads of water while doing this and DO NOT WEAR PLASTIC OR WHATEVER TO MAKE YOURSELF SWEAT.  Water weight loss is an illusion, and will FUCK YOUR KIDNEYS UP.  Work out for two days straight, then take a day off, then two more days, then a day off, etc.

Twelvth, NO FUCKING CHEATING.  NO VACATIONS.  NO EXCEPTIONS.  EAT NOTHING YOU HAVEN'T PLANNED INTO YOUR DIET.  This is NOT easy, for the first several weeks you are going to be in pain from hunger, feel weak, cranky, everything else.  This is NORMAL.   It is the price you pay for NOT BEING A FATASS.  The Slimfasts are there to help you.

There's a few more hints I'll post as they come to mind, and I'd appreciate Nigel's input, but that's the basic plan.

Okay for now,
Dok.

thanks bro  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Dysnomia on November 20, 2010, 06:51:00 pm
three weeks-  meal shake breakfast, small snack, meal shake lunch, small snack, healthy dinner.  Run 5-7 days a week.  I only really go a mile though because I'm a wimp, and the mile loop I do with the dog at babysitting is all hilly.  On weekends sometimes I do the flat two mile loop at the park nearby.  With walk breaks though.

also, I loff tofu.  I also am quite fond of tofutti cream cheese.  It was an experiment, and to me, it tastes awesome.  Not that I don't love regular cream cheese...in fact now I have PUMPKIN!   :D

Now I'm on smaller portions, avoid fast food (that sorta works), avoid sweets (also sorta works...), and am still running.  So far, I've lost 10 pounds.  I even was able to get into a pair of pance that I've never been able to get into!   :D
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ob_Portu on November 21, 2010, 10:33:55 pm
Hey Doctor Howl Your a turkey. 

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on November 21, 2010, 11:50:15 pm
Oh all right.
Looks like I need to make some popcorn. 
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 22, 2010, 01:35:09 am
Hey Doctor Howl Your a turkey. 



Whatever you say, screwy.   :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on November 22, 2010, 02:31:34 am
Hey Doctor Howl Your a turkey. 



PLEASE

you call that a Turkey Curse??

read the PD again, you're not even trying.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 22, 2010, 02:38:45 am
Hey Doctor Howl Your a turkey. 



PLEASE

you call that a Turkey Curse??

read the PD again, you're not even trying.

This new generation of mentally ill forum goers just isn't up to the old standard.  Remember Aini?  Now THERE was a nutcase.

This Obese Porter guy is a fart in a windstorm.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ob_Portu on November 23, 2010, 10:10:07 pm
Cayenne is awesome and amazing at increasing your metabolism.

Plus it gets you high.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 24, 2010, 04:10:02 am
Christ, now I want popcorn. Thanks.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 01, 2010, 06:26:39 am
Yay, good diet & exercise.

Speaking of...

Any tips on how to get rid of a jello ass/thighs when your knees and hips are both fucked up to all hell???!
I'm not overweight, but the blubbery posterior must go.
I can jog a short distance or walk, but that's about it. Can't bike or use an elliptical unless I really chow down on the Vicodin.
But the walking just ain't cutting it. :(

IT WON'T STOP GROWING!!
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on December 01, 2010, 07:46:18 am
If you learn to land with your toes when you run, it should take pressure off your knees (not sure about hips).  If you can at least jog normally for a short distance it might be enough to let you go for longer periods.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Rumckle on December 01, 2010, 07:48:18 am
Swimming should be alright with the knees, not sure if your hips would have any problems with swimming though.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on December 01, 2010, 07:53:14 am
I should mention the running on your toes thing puts different stresses on your tendons than you've probably ever had, your calves will be all fucked up for a bit, and don't overdo it when you first start.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 01, 2010, 04:58:47 pm
Actually I use to run a lot of track back in the day so I already have that habit of jogging on my toes. Yeah, I never thought of regularly swimming. I normally just do that for fun. :p Have to figure out how to counter regular chlorine exposure to my skin. I'll have to see what I can do about trying that route. Thanks.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 02, 2010, 12:26:05 am
Actually I use to run a lot of track back in the day so I already have that habit of jogging on my toes. Yeah, I never thought of regularly swimming. I normally just do that for fun. :p Have to figure out how to counter regular chlorine exposure to my skin. I'll have to see what I can do about trying that route. Thanks.
Shower afterwards; swim less times, but longer; take better care of your skin in your non swimming days (chlorine dries out the skin right? get a good massage oil or just plain olive oil and rub your skin with that however often is needed).
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 02, 2010, 03:57:41 am
Lol. Yeah, I know how that is.
I use to look like some strange reptilian plague victim...

Psoriasis, dermatitis, and tinea versicolor.
8 "specialists" and about 26 different meds that failed, I actually look normal these days.
It's a wonder how great your skin is when you bathe is acid then organic body wash. lulz. Oh, did I mention the allergy to any of your average household soaps.

But, to throw a curve ball at you I'm immune to poison ivy and the like...

Oh yeah, then there was that strange set of vampire like bug bites that left a pussing open wound on my neck the size of a quarter for about 5 months.

Yay for sharing, thanks for the tips on getting rid of my fat ass by the way.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ob_Portu on December 03, 2010, 10:29:24 pm
get off grains and sugers?  :aaa:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 03, 2010, 10:33:41 pm
get off grains and sugers?  :aaa:

No.  Shut up.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 10:57:45 pm
Yay, good diet & exercise.

Speaking of...

Any tips on how to get rid of a jello ass/thighs when your knees and hips are both fucked up to all hell???!
I'm not overweight, but the blubbery posterior must go.
I can jog a short distance or walk, but that's about it. Can't bike or use an elliptical unless I really chow down on the Vicodin.
But the walking just ain't cutting it. :(

IT WON'T STOP GROWING!!

Swim, girl.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 10:58:54 pm
get off grains and sugers?  :aaa:

No.  Shut up.

I have mostly quit the grains, and I am quitting the sugars. I have given up beer, and now I have to give up bourbon. God help me.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:01:16 pm
get off grains and sugers?  :aaa:

No.  Shut up.

I have mostly quit the grains, and I am quitting the sugars. I have given up beer, and now I have to give up bourbon. God help me.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[/size]

Why would you do that? The carbohydrates. THINK OF THEM!!!!!! All they want to do is be tasty for your mouth. :cry: :cry:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2010, 11:13:17 pm
I lost 35 pounds since last year, bringing my BMI from 29.5 (top end of overweight, just below obese) to 24.5 (top end of normal weight), and I didn't give up beer or grains.  It was all exercise and portion control. 

I already didn't eat much in the way of sweets or junk food, and otherwise made healthy food choices, but I was still taking in too many calories, so I cut back on how much I eat.  When I eat, I stop as soon as I am no longer hungry.  I don't continue to eat until I feel full, like I used to.

I was already exercising with weights and cardio, but I added more cardio, and went to the gym more days per week.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 11:18:44 pm
get off grains and sugers?  :aaa:

No.  Shut up.

I have mostly quit the grains, and I am quitting the sugars. I have given up beer, and now I have to give up bourbon. God help me.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[/size]

Why would you do that? The carbohydrates. THINK OF THEM!!!!!! All they want to do is be tasty for your mouth. :cry: :cry:

Because I am a girl and I was getting fat.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 11:19:07 pm
I am an ice-cold bastard.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:19:52 pm
I lost 35 pounds since last year, bringing my BMI from 29.5 (top end of overweight, just below obese) to 24.5 (top end of normal weight), and I didn't give up beer or grains.  It was all exercise and portion control. 

I already didn't eat much in the way of sweets or junk food, and otherwise made healthy food choices, but I was still taking in too many calories, so I cut back on how much I eat.  When I eat, I stop as soon as I am no longer hungry.  I don't continue to eat until I feel full, like I used to.

I was already exercising with weights and cardio, but I added more cardio, and went to the gym more days per week.

That's awesome.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:23:55 pm
I've managed to cut the 15 pounds I gained on my deployment, only took 5 months of not being deployed. Now I debate actively cutting down to 170, without ending up looking crack head skinny.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 11:32:41 pm
My BMI is ridiculous, because BMI charts don't take the existence of extremely muscular, solid-boned women into consideration. At my height, 5'3", my BMI places me in "obesity". For real. Like that's even fucking possible. Yeah, I'm big-boned AND skinny. Fuck it all, BMI.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:37:46 pm
My BMI is ridiculous, because BMI charts don't take the existence of extremely muscular, solid-boned women into consideration. At my height, 5'3", my BMI places me in "obesity". For real. Like that's even fucking possible. Yeah, I'm big-boned AND skinny. Fuck it all, BMI.

I have always had a significantly more muscular lower body than is normal for most men.(that means I actually have an ass, curse my runners body) that skews all kinds of things for me.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on December 03, 2010, 11:42:08 pm
What's "solid boned"? I always wondered about that, does the density of bones really differ from person to person?

Speaking of muscular lower body, I have pants I can't get into anymore because my upper legs are too big :( Waist, everything is fine, but yeah, running is so far pretty much the only cardio exercise I actually enjoy.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:47:46 pm
What's "solid boned"? I always wondered about that, does the density of bones really differ from person to person?

Speaking of muscular lower body, I have pants I can't get into anymore because my upper legs are too big :( Waist, everything is fine, but yeah, running is so far pretty much the only cardio exercise I actually enjoy.

Bone density does vary, and be increased via exercise and just having a physical life.

I know what you mean Trip. :sad:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 11:55:09 pm
What's "solid boned"? I always wondered about that, does the density of bones really differ from person to person?

Speaking of muscular lower body, I have pants I can't get into anymore because my upper legs are too big :( Waist, everything is fine, but yeah, running is so far pretty much the only cardio exercise I actually enjoy.

Yep. Bone density varies a lot, and is especially emphasized in women because we get osteoperosis. I have very high bone density, which also means I can't float.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2010, 11:56:03 pm
Even though I am technically "obese".
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 03, 2010, 11:57:25 pm
Even though I am technically "obese".

Oh, FFS, no you fucking aren't.

And I'll be damned if I give up my bi-weekly shot of cheap whiskey.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 03, 2010, 11:58:27 pm
What's "solid boned"? I always wondered about that, does the density of bones really differ from person to person?

Speaking of muscular lower body, I have pants I can't get into anymore because my upper legs are too big :( Waist, everything is fine, but yeah, running is so far pretty much the only cardio exercise I actually enjoy.

Yep. Bone density varies a lot, and is especially emphasized in women because we get osteoperosis. I have very high bone density, which also means I can't float.



This also means you probably buff as hell.

This scares me.

In a good way.


Even though I am technically "obese".

I've noticed a lot of women get flagged for being over-weight that look fine if not hot as far as I can tell. Gotta love retarded weight tables eh. :horrormirth:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 04, 2010, 02:16:07 am
My BMI is ridiculous, because BMI charts don't take the existence of extremely muscular, solid-boned women into consideration. At my height, 5'3", my BMI places me in "obesity". For real. Like that's even fucking possible. Yeah, I'm big-boned AND skinny. Fuck it all, BMI.
As an indicator of healthy weight, the BMI chart seems to be much less reliable for women than for men, and completely worthless for hardcore athletes.  Every heavyweight boxer or bodybuilder in the world is morbidly obese, according to this thing.  However, for an average-height middle-aged male with a desk job, like myself, it's reasonably accurate.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on December 04, 2010, 02:25:55 am
Yep. It's pretty borked for the ladies. I'm on the tall side and have an athletic build so it puts me in a part of the scale I don't belong on.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 04, 2010, 05:40:59 am
Yeah, I'm about ready to give up eating all together...

The diet I supposedly should be on... (Medically)

FOODS TO AVOID
* wheat * - this includes breads, cakes and pasta products, all based on wheat
* red meats *
* refined and concentrated carbohydrates * bread, flour, cakes from refined flours
* refined sugars and honey *
* alcohol *
* caffeine * -  which is found in tea, coffee, soft drinks
* chocolate * - as it contains sugars
* dairy produce * - includingall milk and cheese
* fried food, margarine and hydrogenated fats *
* soy products and soy protein products *
* tinned and frozen packaged foods * - as little as possible
* additives and preservatives *

Now veggies are grand, however, I have an additional list on top of this on of fruits and veggies to avoid as well.
 
I pretty much ignore the whole shit for the most part. I can't afford almost anything on the list of things I "should" eat on a regular basis.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 05:47:13 am
Yeah, I'm about ready to give up eating all together...

The diet I supposedly should be on... (Medically)

FOODS TO AVOID
* wheat * - this includes breads, cakes and pasta products, all based on wheat
* red meats *
* refined and concentrated carbohydrates * bread, flour, cakes from refined flours
* refined sugars and honey *
* alcohol *
* caffeine * -  which is found in tea, coffee, soft drinks
* chocolate * - as it contains sugars
* dairy produce * - includingall milk and cheese
* fried food, margarine and hydrogenated fats *
* soy products and soy protein products *
* tinned and frozen packaged foods * - as little as possible
* additives and preservatives *

Now veggies are grand, however, I have an additional list on top of this on of fruits and veggies to avoid as well.
 
I pretty much ignore the whole shit for the most part. I can't afford almost anything on the list of things I "should" eat on a regular basis.


Reasoning behind all these restrictions?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Requia ☣ on December 04, 2010, 05:57:30 am
I'd probably kill myself if I tried to lose enough weight to be normal according to the BMI (not that I can't stand to lose another 50 pounds, also, I'm down 50 pounds for the last year).
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 05:58:13 am
I know I'm not fat, which makes the BMI completely retarded. I am made out of muscle and bone, is all.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 05:59:27 am
I know I'm not fat, which makes the BMI completely retarded. I am made out of muscle and bone, is all.

I am so glad I stopped trying to get drunk tonight. I would have gotten myself into trouble. :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 05:59:42 am
Yeah, I'm about ready to give up eating all together...

The diet I supposedly should be on... (Medically)

FOODS TO AVOID
* wheat * - this includes breads, cakes and pasta products, all based on wheat
* red meats *
* refined and concentrated carbohydrates * bread, flour, cakes from refined flours
* refined sugars and honey *
* alcohol *
* caffeine * -  which is found in tea, coffee, soft drinks
* chocolate * - as it contains sugars
* dairy produce * - includingall milk and cheese
* fried food, margarine and hydrogenated fats *
* soy products and soy protein products *
* tinned and frozen packaged foods * - as little as possible
* additives and preservatives *

Now veggies are grand, however, I have an additional list on top of this on of fruits and veggies to avoid as well.
 
I pretty much ignore the whole shit for the most part. I can't afford almost anything on the list of things I "should" eat on a regular basis.


Please tell me these "medical" restrictions aren't based on advice from a naturopath.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:00:55 am
'cause that looks like some bullshit a naturopath would come up with. I hate those fuckers.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 04, 2010, 06:11:34 am
Dietitian recommendations for those with severe endometriosis . Due to a bunch of hormonal reactions and the BS that disease can pull on your digestive/urinary system.

Most people with mild - moderate endo don't have to worry so much.
I just can't wait for my surgery to have it all yanked out of me. :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 06:19:19 am
Dietitian recommendations for those with severe endometriosis . Due to a bunch of hormonal reactions and the BS that disease can pull on your digestive/urinary system.

Most people with mild - moderate endo don't have to worry so much.
I just can't wait for my surgery to have it all yanked out of me. :)


I just wiki'd it, and I didn't see anything about diet affecting it. -shrug- but it is wikipedia.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:22:02 am
Dietitian recommendations for those with severe endometriosis . Due to a bunch of hormonal reactions and the BS that disease can pull on your digestive/urinary system.

Most people with mild - moderate endo don't have to worry so much.
I just can't wait for my surgery to have it all yanked out of me. :)


Oh, a "dietitian".
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 04, 2010, 06:32:49 am
Yeah, however I don't trust many "professional" anythings.

Hate doctors, dentists, dietitians, shrinks, counselors... All a bunch of wack-jobs to me.
Want money more then to honestly help.

The only thing on that list I "have to" follow, via trial and error is the avoidance of red meat and excessive dairy. Makes me super crazy sick. 

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:37:15 am
Um, the difference between a doctor and a dietition is about six years of education. Just a thought.

How's that rock you live under?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:41:47 am
And I... I can't even really respond to your lumping together of dietitians with people with advanced degrees. WTF. I'm sorry if you don't have a good doctor or dentist, but really, WTF. IMO someone who takes medical advice from a dietition for endometriosis and then writes off all health-care professionals as "whackjobs" is saying a lot more about themselves than anything else.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 04, 2010, 06:54:23 am
Fantastic actually! I love my rock.

Anyone would hate doctors if ya end up going through 5 different treatments from 6 different doctors before one fairly common skin condition could be properly diagnosed and treated properly.

And go figure the doctors are not the ones who did so. I just picked up a ton of medical and dermatology books, visited a few forums and figured it out for myself.

So pardon me for being a bit dissatisfied with these professionals.

The list continues one disappointment after another.
But perhaps your right and I've just never seen a "good" doctor. Is there really such a thing? I'd sure like to find one...




Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:57:32 am
You sound like a whiny, special baby.

Just sayin'.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 06:59:38 am
It's funny, I had you pegged for an attention whore and you totally meet the profile of one. You even have the special condition, hate doctors, and have dietary restrictions. It's the total stereotype!  :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:01:52 am
Oh also, don't take my unpleasantness personally or anything. I don't hate you personally, I just hate your type.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Xieante Antitheus on December 04, 2010, 07:16:34 am
Alright so from topic of diets... I commented, you asked... I responded.... ok  Wouldn't have brought up said topic if not asked.
Eh, I don't hate you, I hate your assumptions.
But alright YES, I will assume the position of attention whore if you'd like.
Everyone has to hate someone.

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I AM SO COOL! I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY LIFE, THEN GAIN THE ATTENTION OF THOSE WHO ONLY EXIST ON MY PC!

Have at it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:29:31 am
Yeah, I'm about ready to give up eating all together...

The diet I supposedly should be on... (Medically)

FOODS TO AVOID
* wheat * - this includes breads, cakes and pasta products, all based on wheat
* red meats *
* refined and concentrated carbohydrates * bread, flour, cakes from refined flours
* refined sugars and honey *
* alcohol *
* caffeine * -  which is found in tea, coffee, soft drinks
* chocolate * - as it contains sugars
* dairy produce * - includingall milk and cheese
* fried food, margarine and hydrogenated fats *
* soy products and soy protein products *
* tinned and frozen packaged foods * - as little as possible
* additives and preservatives *

Now veggies are grand, however, I have an additional list on top of this on of fruits and veggies to avoid as well.
 
I pretty much ignore the whole shit for the most part. I can't afford almost anything on the list of things I "should" eat on a regular basis.


Uh-huh.  :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:30:43 am
Countdown to "pixels on a monitor..." oh wait, she's already there.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 07:31:33 am
I'm curious what she is supposed to be eating. vitamins and fish?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:33:06 am
I don't think anyone actually asked her about anything until after she posted her pity-me litany of do-not-eats.  :?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:33:57 am
I'm curious what she is supposed to be eating. vitamins and fish?

Whatever white female hypochondriacs eat, I guess.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 07:37:33 am
I'm curious what she is supposed to be eating. vitamins and fish?

Whatever white female hypochondriacs eat, I guess.

So, distilled water and granola?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:45:44 am
I'm curious what she is supposed to be eating. vitamins and fish?

Whatever white female hypochondriacs eat, I guess.

So, distilled water and granola?

I think so?  :?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on December 04, 2010, 07:47:04 am
I'm curious what she is supposed to be eating. vitamins and fish?

Whatever white female hypochondriacs eat, I guess.

So, distilled water and granola?

I think so?  :?

Must resist urge to splurge on granola.  :cry:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 04, 2010, 07:48:21 am
Granola is pretty good, but the store kind is way too sweet.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: pH on March 20, 2011, 02:57:53 am
So, I have an inverse problem. According to the internet, I'm about 6lb underweight. Any advice for putting on muscle mass?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on March 20, 2011, 03:18:59 am
So, I have an inverse problem. According to the internet, I'm about 6lb underweight. Any advice for putting on muscle mass?

I hear that throwing tomahawks is great exercise.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: pH on March 20, 2011, 03:20:48 am
Tomahawks are fuckin awesome.
Although I'm right-handed, soo it only helps my right arm.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on March 20, 2011, 03:32:54 am
Tomahawks are fuckin awesome.
Although I'm right-handed, soo it only helps my right arm.

Use the other arm?

Of course by throwing tomohawks he means spanking the weasel.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on March 20, 2011, 04:14:55 am
I've come to find, that for me it is best to feed my body what it is craving. Be it chocolate or a big fat, fatty steak.

But I stay the FUCK away from the empty calories, like carbs. (not sayin complete elimination, just a notch them down a lil). And, Not saying gorge on fat but hey it's what humans have survived on for some time now. Keep the fucking corn oils and shit give me lard please.
;)



*yeah, obviously-Go OUTSIDE too as Nigel said. Movement. Movement is good. Mkay.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on March 20, 2011, 04:21:43 am
I've come to find, that for me it is best to feed my body what it is craving. Be it chocolate or a big fat, fatty steak.

But I stay the FUCK away from the empty calories, like carbs. (not sayin complete elimination, just a notch them down a lil). And, Not saying gorge on fat but hey it's what humans have survived on for some time now. Keep the fucking corn oils and shit give me lard please.
;)



*yeah, obviously-Go OUTSIDE too as Nigel said. Movement. Movement is good. Mkay.

Carbs aren't empty calories.

Junk foods are "empty" calories because they lack nutrients.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on March 20, 2011, 04:41:14 am
I didn't know carbs had nutrients.
:(
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on March 20, 2011, 04:46:31 am
A carbohydrate is to the human body as gasoline is to a car. 

Both are fuels, and both make a mess if too much is given to the individual in question.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 20, 2011, 05:37:09 pm

But I stay the FUCK away from the empty calories, like carbs.

wat
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 21, 2011, 07:35:01 am
A carbohydrate is to the human body as gasoline is to a car. 

Both are fuels, and both make a mess if too much is given to the individual in question.

Yes this.

I have some fucking issues with "carbs"  that are similar to my issues with "vaccines".

Because people are fucking retarded.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on March 21, 2011, 02:26:45 pm
A carbohydrate is to the human body as gasoline is to a car. 

Both are fuels, and both make a mess if too much is given to the individual in question.

Yes this.

I have some fucking issues with "carbs"  that are similar to my issues with "vaccines".

Because people are fucking retarded.

This makes my pance happy.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 21, 2011, 08:01:29 pm
 :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: maphdet on March 23, 2011, 07:08:32 pm

But I stay the FUCK away from the empty calories, like carbs.

wat

I really thought carbs make ya fat.
Really I did.
 :oops:


Speaking of "How to not be a fat bastard"...Do Not Break Your Toe. This Will, screech the exercise routine. :(

maph-
Is back to eating no more than the size of her palm due to non movement.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on March 23, 2011, 07:15:35 pm

But I stay the FUCK away from the empty calories, like carbs.

wat

I really thought carbs make ya fat.
Really I did.
 :oops:


Speaking of "How to not be a fat bastard"...Do Not Break Your Toe. This Will, screech the exercise routine. :(

maph-
Is back to eating no more than the size of her palm due to non movement.


Carbs can, so will proteins and fats. If you take in MORE calories than you use you will get fat, regardless of the source of the calories. That being said, lots of junk food is primarily carbohydrate based. The reason it's junkfood is ratio of calories to serving/volume, the absence of nutrients and/or the presence of unhealthy shit.

saying carbs are bad is like saying sodium or cholesterol is bad. You need sodium and you need cholesterol, but too much of either is bad for you.

Too much of almost anything is bad for you.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jenne on March 23, 2011, 07:38:04 pm
...but too much is always better than not enough...
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: pH on March 24, 2011, 01:24:35 pm
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Its a helluva lot easier to add a bit more than try to take away. Is it more work to gain weight or lose weight?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jenne on March 24, 2011, 07:59:07 pm
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Its a helluva lot easier to add a bit more than try to take away. Is it more work to gain weight or lose weight?

...depends on who you are.

*paging EoC*
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on March 24, 2011, 08:11:49 pm
...And Suu's sister.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 24, 2011, 08:47:17 pm
...And Suu's sister.

Who does that just to piss Suu off.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 25, 2011, 02:46:52 am
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Its a helluva lot easier to add a bit more than try to take away. Is it more work to gain weight or lose weight?

...depends on who you are.

*paging EoC*

 :sad:

Losing weight on the bacon diet.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jenne on March 25, 2011, 04:37:01 am
Who does that just to piss Suu off.

I have a sister-in-law that does that! Damn her skinny ass for eating junk and never exercising yet maintaining the physique of a 10 year old boy!

And EoC: :( I suspected as much. Methinks Alty's in the same boat. Y'all need your own sticky thread: HOW TO BE A FAT BASTARD. but grass is Always Greener.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on March 27, 2011, 10:28:52 pm
...but too much is always better than not enough...

Actually I think that's also correct in this context. At least I think I'd prefer to have a "too much" diet that makes me fat, than be starving because I don't have enough.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 25, 2011, 09:10:16 pm
All right.

In my quest to drop the last of my leftover unhappy-marriage pudge, I have changed everything about my entire life. Pretty much. I enjoy the hell out of my food, but it's completely different food. Few starches, minimal refined foods, almost no sweets, and I barely drink. I walk for at least an hour every day, and once a week I hike for 2-3 hours.

For the last month or so I have been on what I call the "Bucket Guy" diet; for those who don't know the story of Bucket Guy, my Spirit Guide, the condensed version is that when I worked at Rejuvenation he appeared to me one day, carrying a bucket of beautiful old lighting that had been painted over, and looking for replacements. I suggested he have them restored instead, and he replied "Nah, I don't want to deal with it". This phrase was then repeated numerous times in response to almost every suggestion I made and every question I answered, and he finally departed my store for Home Depot. Full of hate and rage, I went upstairs to the break room and fumed at my co-workers for a few minutes about him, after which one guy said "Sounds like you don't want to deal with it".

And then I was enlightened.

Anyway, the Bucket Guy Diet is what happens when you know you have to eat, but you just don't give a flying fuck. Most people end up on this diet when they're either in love or heartbroken... you know the feeling. It's the diet where you get to the point where you just can't ignore your rumbling belly anymore, so you eat the first thing you find in the fridge or cabinet that doesn't need much prep but sounds like you have a possibility of actually swallowing it. People on this diet tend to live on a lot of crackers and peanut butter, or yogurt and cereal. Tinned fish and protein shakes have gone a long way for me.

Coincidentally, a very good friend of mine was also on this diet at the same time, and we were talking about how it is, while effective, sadly unsustainable. Eventually, if I keep living on tinned fish and protein shakes, my body is going to rebel in some very unpleasant ways, so I've devised an even better diet that still allows me to not really think about what I'm eating at all. My friend and I refined it over the course of a six-mile hike; we call it the Toaster Oven Diet.

Here's what this consists of.

You have three food groups; the fish group, the asparagus group, and the millet group.

You have a little container of cooked millet in the fridge at all times. Examples of things that fall into the millet group would be brown rice, quinoa, barley...  you get the gist.

You put a little butter or grease in the bottom of a small baking pan, and on top of that you'll arrange some fish and asparagus, and a scoop of millet. Season with salt and pepper and maybe some lemon juice and garlic powder, then put it in the toaster oven and cook it for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees. Then, you eat it. It's that simple!

A few other members of the fish food group are chicken, ham, and beef. These may require longer cooking times, so use your best judgment.

If your representative of the asparagus group is spinach or another leafy green, you should toss it in at the very end because it only needs a couple of minutes.

I find that I can cook a double portion of this in the morning, then have it for lunch as well as breakfast, and it's so easy that no matter how little I could give a crap about nutrition or my physical well-being that day, I can still eat in a way that is most likely not going to result in any severe nutritional deficiencies.

I'm down to 135 from 160, and looking to drop ten more pounds this summer.

Happy heartbreak!


Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on April 30, 2011, 05:01:29 pm
That's basically what I've been doing, minus the fish group and I usually have some kind of beans. Had to cut the quinoa out, though, it was making me start to pork out in the middle for some reason. Bragg's liquid aminos has protein anyway and it tastes like soy sauce, only better. It probably costs $2 a day to eat this way and you'll never be an utterly fat bastard. :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 19, 2011, 01:16:12 pm
In relation to this, since I've been putting on a bit of weight lately (I blame working nights in the last job) I'm going to experiment with Tim Ferriss' 4 hour body workout and see how it works.

Some of the advice is very similar to that presented in this thread (like plenty of vegetables, eating within half an hour of waking up etc..) in addition to some extremely stripped down exercise routines designed to work on main muscle groups.

I'll let you know how it works out.  Though I may have to clear my fridge of all the milk before I start...
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 19, 2011, 04:49:57 pm
What's wrong with milk?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on October 19, 2011, 04:53:06 pm
There's a lot of fat in milk, like A LOT of fat.  It's also supposedly not good for adults to drink.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 19, 2011, 04:58:53 pm
Afaik less than 3% in whole milk?

Really, cause this article I read in the NY Times said there was no difference in weight gain between people dirnking no milk and drinking whole milk and drinking skimmed milk.

But hey I'll gladly give up milk in my coffee if it means I can drink a few more beers.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on October 19, 2011, 05:00:22 pm
I remember that article and there is a thread here about milk because I'm trying to put on weight. Milk just has extra calories, as opposed to drinking water.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jasper on October 19, 2011, 05:02:15 pm
Also, coconut milk (the kind in cans that is thick enough to use for cheap building materials) is very calorie dense and goes great in shakes.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on October 19, 2011, 05:03:31 pm
I get fat and calorie mixed up a lot...
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 19, 2011, 05:04:07 pm
Well yeah, I don't drink milk for thirst or anything, that's what water is for.

Milk is for coffee and pancakes, mostly.

I'd probably do better cutting the sugar in my coffee.

As long as I get to drink beer.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 19, 2011, 05:33:05 pm
I've been eating a couple of apples a day (they're in season) and while I don't weigh any less (I've been holding steady at 135 for months) I am slimmer around my middle. Could just be coincidence. But I'm back in size six or eight jeans (depending on the brand), and the tens just hang off me. Woot!
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 19, 2011, 05:48:45 pm
Afaik less than 3% in whole milk?

Really, cause this article I read in the NY Times said there was no difference in weight gain between people dirnking no milk and drinking whole milk and drinking skimmed milk.

But hey I'll gladly give up milk in my coffee if it means I can drink a few more beers.

It's not the fat content.  It's to do with how milk stimulates an insulinemic response in the body, which increaes carb uptake and makes you fatter, essentially.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on October 19, 2011, 05:52:16 pm
Do you have any links to that info? I am very curious about it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 19, 2011, 05:54:56 pm
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3545955

Quote
Milk was a particularly potent insulin secretagogue; the observed insulin response was approximately 5-fold greater than would be anticipated from the glucose response.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on October 19, 2011, 06:29:01 pm
Thanks!
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 19, 2011, 06:49:14 pm
Apparently a couple of teaspoons of cream is OK, though, for coffee.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on October 19, 2011, 07:27:44 pm
Well yeah, I don't drink milk for thirst or anything, that's what water is for.

Milk is for coffee and pancakes, mostly.

I'd probably do better cutting the sugar in my coffee.

As long as I get to drink beer.
I lost 35 pounds (16 kg) last year without cutting my beer consumption.  I made myself go to to the gym on days I didn't want to, increased the amount of cardio I did, and cut my portion sizes.  I'm down about as low as I want to be now, and I have kept my weight pretty steady since then.

Also, I like my coffee black, I don't like to drink sodas, I don't like most sweets, and I avoid trans-fats as if I had a religious prohibition against them, and that all helps me.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 19, 2011, 07:44:05 pm
Well yeah, I don't drink milk for thirst or anything, that's what water is for.

Milk is for coffee and pancakes, mostly.

I'd probably do better cutting the sugar in my coffee.

As long as I get to drink beer.
I lost 35 pounds (16 kg) last year without cutting my beer consumption.  I made myself go to to the gym on days I didn't want to, increased the amount of cardio I did, and cut my portion sizes.  I'm down about as low as I want to be now, and I have kept my weight pretty steady since then.

Also, I like my coffee black, I don't like to drink sodas, I don't like most sweets, and I avoid trans-fats as if I had a religious prohibition against them, and that all helps me.

I mostly quit beer, for a good while. I'm drinking it again now (can't handle wine or hard liquor too well anymore) but I can't handle the quantities that I used to... I remember when going out and having seven or eight pints was just the way it went. Now, if I have four I wake up sick in the middle of the night and my whole next day is fucked.

I had three liquor drinks at the Nest last night, and thought I was going to die last night. Today I'm not in form, either.

Beneficial side effect; with so little drinking I have no problem staying trim. I don't like sweets much and I don't really eat bread or pasta. Plus, I can get absolutely shit-face nestered for about $7. (I don't know if this is really a bonus, but it sure beats the old days of the $50 bar tab.)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on October 19, 2011, 08:11:16 pm
I get worse hangovers with a lot less alcohol than it used to take, but I think that's mainly because I'm older now.

I usually don't drink more than 2-4 beers in a day, but then again I'm usually drinking mid-high gravity stuff.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 20, 2011, 01:53:24 am
Also, under the plan I'm trying, it's no beer except for on binge day (the one day of the week where I am expected and encouraged to break all the rules concerning the diet).

But, on the other hand, red wine is perfectly acceptable.  I'm not really a big alcohol drinker in the first place (if your chosen drink is scotch, you learn moderation quickly, or you end up broke - or with liver poisoning) so this is fine by me. 
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on October 20, 2011, 03:05:07 am
Healthwise, dark and/or hoppy ales ≥ red wine.

Diet plans that include binge days are good.  You won't undo six days worth of progress in one day of binging, and the once-a-week satisfying of cravings will make the plan much easier to stick to.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on October 20, 2011, 05:27:25 am
I hope no one minds me saying so...

I have been finding it incredibly difficult to gain weight. All I want is to fill shirts that are small.
I'm supposed to eat 5-6 meals full meals per day and something about that just gets me. I feel guilty for eating more than I need and I need very little. Even to keep from being grumpy-eating three meals a day-is more than I feel I need.

I was packing in calories where I could, peanut butter in protein shakes with bananas and spinach, when I developed a nice peanut allergy and couldn't eat much for a week and it put me off the whole thing. I consume more dairy.

Is it stupid to feel shameful about eating more than I need, especially when others have so little?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on October 20, 2011, 02:47:40 pm
It's kinda stupid because it's not like you're eating their food or anything. It's not like any food you *don't* eat somehow magically turns up at the people that have very little. Because that's more an issue of transport and economics than whether there's actually enough food to go around. So basically, you'd be withholding yourself experiencing joy from delicious food that they wouldn't eat otherwise anyway, so from a utilitarian ethics point of view, you are strictly decreasing the total amount of happiness for everybody, and therefore it is morally wrong to not allow yourself to enjoy delicious food even if it's more than what you need, within reasonable limits, of course.

Hope that makes you feel better!



BTW I'm not really trying to lose weight or anything, I'm in fine shape, it's just that I sometimes have a bit of a belly which I'd rather have be a bit smaller.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on October 20, 2011, 02:54:00 pm
I wouldn't mind gaining weight either, but I can't because Alty eats all my food.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on October 20, 2011, 04:46:18 pm
It's kinda stupid because it's not like you're eating their food or anything. It's not like any food you *don't* eat somehow magically turns up at the people that have very little. Because that's more an issue of transport and economics than whether there's actually enough food to go around. So basically, you'd be withholding yourself experiencing joy from delicious food that they wouldn't eat otherwise anyway, so from a utilitarian ethics point of view, you are strictly decreasing the total amount of happiness for everybody, and therefore it is morally wrong to not allow yourself to enjoy delicious food even if it's more than what you need, within reasonable limits, of course.

Hope that makes you feel better!



BTW I'm not really trying to lose weight or anything, I'm in fine shape, it's just that I sometimes have a bit of a belly which I'd rather have be a bit smaller.

It totally does make me feel better!

I wouldn't mind gaining weight either, but I can't because Alty eats all my food.

 :argh!:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 20, 2011, 05:52:05 pm
I wouldn't mind gaining weight either, but I can't because Alty eats all my food.

 :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Jenne on October 21, 2011, 09:42:27 pm
EoC!  :lulz: 

Alty, you gotta do what you gotta do to be healthy--I can't see anyone begrudging you the calories you need to survive, dang it all.  Don't beat yourself up, man.

Also--eggs?  They have a lot of calories, IIRC.  Try thems.

Unless you mentioned you did already.  Then whoops mah bad.

Wonder if what goes for milk goes for CHEESE.  I should read that link of Cain's.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on October 21, 2011, 10:06:33 pm
I refuse to give up either. Chocolate milk, man, is the post-work out drink of champions.

I have noticed my favorite jacket is not fitting like it should :argh!: so time to get back to running and eating better.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on October 21, 2011, 11:27:28 pm
I'm going to try the strict diet, then experiment.  Because I do like hot chocolate and my lattes.

I reckon I can strike a balance, as I only want rid of a few pounds.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: lowdy on December 03, 2011, 01:59:32 pm
Glad to see fat people getting skinny. Healthy is always better .
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 03, 2011, 06:44:46 pm
Glad to see fat people getting skinny. Healthy is always better .

It feels a lot better to be thin and athletic than it feels to be overweight and out of shape, both physically and mentally. It's hard to get started and I know a lot of people who say things like "I hate exercise" and "I would rather be fat than give up my indulgences" but the physical feeling of being in shape is 1000% better than a milkshake, and once you get some muscle tone exercise becomes fun.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Precious Moments Zalgo on December 03, 2011, 07:47:33 pm
Absolutely.  Getting in shape sucks and is no fun at all, but once you have done it, being in shape feels awesome, so it's totally worth it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: lowdy on December 04, 2011, 03:34:14 pm
Glad to see fat people getting skinny. Healthy is always better .

It feels a lot better to be thin and athletic than it feels to be overweight and out of shape, both physically and mentally. It's hard to get started and I know a lot of people who say things like "I hate exercise" and "I would rather be fat than give up my indulgences" but the physical feeling of being in shape is 1000% better than a milkshake, and once you get some muscle tone exercise becomes fun.
yup thats jus about what i said.....
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on December 05, 2011, 06:37:19 pm
Glad to see fat people getting skinny. Healthy is always better .

It feels a lot better to be thin and athletic than it feels to be overweight and out of shape, both physically and mentally. It's hard to get started and I know a lot of people who say things like "I hate exercise" and "I would rather be fat than give up my indulgences" but the physical feeling of being in shape is 1000% better than a milkshake, and once you get some muscle tone exercise becomes fun.

I hate getting in shape so much.  Hate hate hate. 

But you're right about being in shape.  It's so easy to get out of it though, ugh.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ůͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅť ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on December 11, 2011, 09:28:45 am
It helps if you have some socialist-commie city planning that enforces a conspiracy on bicyclist's behalf.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: East Coast Hustle on December 11, 2011, 01:46:07 pm
Indeed, though if that's the case they need to hurry up with the north-south bikeway for the 50's, given it's the one glaring omission in the city's bike plan on the eastside AND the one that's most needed by those of us who live on 50th.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Baron Polarious on January 09, 2012, 03:43:49 am
I'm a pretty healthy weight at this point (male, 5'11", 180 lbs.) Currently, I run ~10 km every 2 days, jump rope for about 15 minutes every day and do 5 sets totaling 150-200 push-ups (usually standard, sometimes other variations) about every 36 hours. This doesn't include walking which I do entirely too much of.

I try to avoid eating refined sugar, red meat and dairy products. I usually eat oatmeal, tuna and chicken every day and only drink water. Beyond this, I don't think too much about my eating habits.

I really try to make sure I enjoy all this shit. Or convince myself that I do. That's the really hard part.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on May 09, 2012, 05:30:08 pm
Rog, having somehow gained a "Heathrow Injection" during my time here, I am now trying out your plan.

I only lack for slimfast drinks.  I have not yet found a high phosphate alternative.

It is currently day 3 and I feel like absolute shit, like I haven't slept properly the night before and my stomach is aching.  I presume this is my body protesting at the lack of calories and digesting itself, meaning I am doing it right?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 09, 2012, 05:32:08 pm
Rog, having somehow gained a "Heathrow Injection" during my time here, I am now trying out your plan.

I only lack for slimfast drinks.  I have not yet found a high phosphate alternative.

It is currently day 3 and I feel like absolute shit, like I haven't slept properly the night before and my stomach is aching.  I presume this is my body protesting at the lack of calories and digesting itself, meaning I am doing it right?
If you feel like your belly button is having intimate relations with your spine, and you want to punt a baby into the back of a garbage truck, you're doing it right.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on May 09, 2012, 05:34:29 pm
Awesome.  I've also decided that not having the drinks just means I'm hardcore.

Assuming my stomach does not actually punch its way through my spine and kill me, I will now successfully be able to brag I told u I was hardcore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Brandon_Vedas).
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 09, 2012, 05:35:32 pm
Awesome.  I've also decided that not having the drinks just means I'm hardcore.

Assuming my stomach does not actually punch its way through my spine and kill me, I will now successfully be able to brag I told u I was hardcore (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Brandon_Vedas).

Eat a banana, then.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on May 09, 2012, 05:38:56 pm
Yeah, I considered that, but I actually don't like bananas all that much. 

Besides, this way I can build up rage and explode it over my students when they least expect it.  Serves the little bastards right.  Lately I've been a bit too "meh" with them, so uncontrollable anger will keep them off balance.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 09, 2012, 05:39:46 pm
Yeah, I considered that, but I actually don't like bananas all that much. 

Besides, this way I can build up rage and explode it over my students when they least expect it.  Serves the little bastards right.  Lately I've been a bit too "meh" with them, so uncontrollable anger will keep them off balance.

You can also get really, really sick.  Just saying.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on May 09, 2012, 05:43:46 pm
Point. I've started looking at alternatives I do like...apparently yoghurt is good.  That works for me.  I can even get it in little, snack-sized pots.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 08:24:55 am
IME the best weight-loss practice is to get a decent amount of outdoor exercise on a daily basis, combined with a pretty strict whole-foods diet. I know that whole (unprocessed, such as recognizable meats, grains, and vegetable) foods are not always the most accessible, but they definitely do the best in terms of curbing food cravings, especially junk-food cravings. They are also goddamn delicious.

This pretty much means, fuck slimfast-type drinks. They're horrifically processed.

Essentially, my asshole diet plan is GO OUTSIDE, EAT FOOD THAT LOOKS LIKE WHAT IT IS.

If you do this, and don't drink a lot, it is very likely that your body will revert to its ideal weight.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 08:28:02 am
Yoghurt, cheese, and other bacteria-fermented processes, I tend to exempt from my whole-food rule, within reason. Like delicious pickles and kimchi. Or beer and wine, as long as they are only consumed moderately.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LizKing531 on May 10, 2012, 04:14:02 pm
IME the best weight-loss practice is to get a decent amount of outdoor exercise on a daily basis, combined with a pretty strict whole-foods diet. I know that whole (unprocessed, such as recognizable meats, grains, and vegetable) foods are not always the most accessible, but they definitely do the best in terms of curbing food cravings, especially junk-food cravings. They are also goddamn delicious.

This pretty much means, fuck slimfast-type drinks. They're horrifically processed.

Essentially, my asshole diet plan is GO OUTSIDE, EAT FOOD THAT LOOKS LIKE WHAT IT IS.

If you do this, and don't drink a lot, it is very likely that your body will revert to its ideal weight.

Michael Pollen comes to mind here - another easy tip I ran across is to shop the perimeter of the grocery, granted there's exceptions (seasonings, etc). The thought is that the rim has the most "whole" food products while the center is largely where all the processed crap is kept.

there's really no "trick" or secret. it just so happens that tons of what you find in the grocery is crap labeled as food. 

Also, I read somewhere that your intake of carbs is directly related to retention of water - more carbs = more water retained = looking less lean. So if you can change your diet "macros" to have more proteins & less carbs, you'll look leaner.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LizKing531 on May 10, 2012, 04:16:30 pm
Yoghurt, cheese, and other bacteria-fermented processes, I tend to exempt from my whole-food rule, within reason. Like delicious pickles and kimchi. Or beer and wine, as long as they are only consumed moderately.

Speaking of fermented, Anyone familiar with kombucha?

I've been an off & on advocate of drinking it - tons of probiotics, etc. There's some interesting claims made for it, although folks like Paul Stamets claim they wouldn't touch it -
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 05:05:56 pm
Where does Stamets claim he wouldn't touch it? I have read a couple of his articles and have not seen anything resembling that phrase.

Personally, I think that it may be a useful digestive, but it's nothing like what the people marketing it claim it to be.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LizKing531 on May 10, 2012, 05:14:41 pm
Where does Stamets claim he wouldn't touch it? I have read a couple of his articles and have not seen anything resembling that phrase.

Personally, I think that it may be a useful digestive, but it's nothing like what the people marketing it claim it to be.

The Fungi Perfecti site recently changed, so the best I could score was a cross link from another blog -
http://www.rootsimple.com/2010/12/is-kombucha-safe.html


Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 05:23:15 pm
Where does Stamets claim he wouldn't touch it? I have read a couple of his articles and have not seen anything resembling that phrase.

Personally, I think that it may be a useful digestive, but it's nothing like what the people marketing it claim it to be.

The Fungi Perfecti site recently changed, so the best I could score was a cross link from another blog -
http://www.rootsimple.com/2010/12/is-kombucha-safe.html

I've read that. It doesn't quote him as saying anything like that. A bit of hyperbole on your part, perhaps?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 05:24:35 pm
The most condemning paragraph quoted:

Quote
Those who might benefit from Kombucha need a credible and experienced professional who could best prescribe and administer it. I do not see the advantage of taking Kombucha by people in good health. Given the detrimental effects seen from prolonged exposure to antibiotics, the repeated, long term use of Kombucha may cause its own universe of problems. I wonder about those people who have adverse reactions to antibiotics? What about those with sensitivity to the microorganisms in Kombucha? I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LizKing531 on May 10, 2012, 05:31:37 pm
Quote
I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.

Basically that's where I got that from - I hadn't read the whole article recently, just recalling the original article hosted on Fungi Perfecti from memory.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 05:39:42 pm
Quote
I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.

Basically that's where I got that from - I hadn't read the whole article recently, just recalling the original article hosted on Fungi Perfecti from memory.

So, a bit of hyperbole on your part.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cain on May 10, 2012, 06:03:57 pm
IME the best weight-loss practice is to get a decent amount of outdoor exercise

That's my main problem.  By virtue of my job, I'm not allowed to be more than five minutes from the building while on duty.  I mean, I could just do laps around the building, but I suspect after the fifth pass, someone might get suspicious and shoot me.

Because I used to live in the middle of nowhere, I did ride my bike and walk lots to get anywhere.  On top of martial arts classes, swimming lessons and a few other things.  Which is one reason I may look at going to a boarding school in the countryside, at some point.  I'm not cut out for an all-tarmac environment.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on May 10, 2012, 06:18:51 pm
But how can you walk around if the landscape hasn't been painted over?  :?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 07:20:11 pm
IME the best weight-loss practice is to get a decent amount of outdoor exercise

That's my main problem.  By virtue of my job, I'm not allowed to be more than five minutes from the building while on duty.  I mean, I could just do laps around the building, but I suspect after the fifth pass, someone might get suspicious and shoot me.

Because I used to live in the middle of nowhere, I did ride my bike and walk lots to get anywhere.  On top of martial arts classes, swimming lessons and a few other things.  Which is one reason I may look at going to a boarding school in the countryside, at some point.  I'm not cut out for an all-tarmac environment.

Ugh, that sounds wretchedly tedious. :(
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 10, 2012, 09:38:44 pm
Yeah, I considered that, but I actually don't like bananas all that much. 

Besides, this way I can build up rage and explode it over my students when they least expect it.  Serves the little bastards right.  Lately I've been a bit too "meh" with them, so uncontrollable anger will keep them off balance.

frozen Banana (peel first) + buttermilk + blender = awesome milkshake.

also, buttermilk is kind of like yoghurt sorta.

but then if you simply don't like the flavour of banana, that won't help.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LizKing531 on May 10, 2012, 09:44:47 pm
Quote
I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.

Basically that's where I got that from - I hadn't read the whole article recently, just recalling the original article hosted on Fungi Perfecti from memory.

So, a bit of hyperbole on your part.

I dunno about hyperbolic - he did say he thinks it's morally reprehensible to pass the colony on -

I'll make sure to get my citations in order better to avoid such misunderstandings

*just was interested in anyone else's experience with this live snot in a jar
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 10, 2012, 09:55:34 pm
Quote
I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.

Basically that's where I got that from - I hadn't read the whole article recently, just recalling the original article hosted on Fungi Perfecti from memory.

So, a bit of hyperbole on your part.

I dunno about hyperbolic - he did say he thinks it's morally reprehensible to pass the colony on -

I'll make sure to get my citations in order better to avoid such misunderstandings

*just was interested in anyone else's experience with this live snot in a jar

This is a totally insignificant argument, but I dislike people who weasel around.

Speaking of fermented, Anyone familiar with kombucha?

I've been an off & on advocate of drinking it - tons of probiotics, etc. There's some interesting claims made for it, although folks like Paul Stamets claim they wouldn't touch it -

You misquoted someone. Just sack up and own it. It's not like you're going to lose face by going "Oh, I guess that's not at all what he said". FFS.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2012, 12:36:43 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on May 11, 2012, 12:39:37 am
The most condemning paragraph quoted:

Quote
Those who might benefit from Kombucha need a credible and experienced professional who could best prescribe and administer it. I do not see the advantage of taking Kombucha by people in good health. Given the detrimental effects seen from prolonged exposure to antibiotics, the repeated, long term use of Kombucha may cause its own universe of problems. I wonder about those people who have adverse reactions to antibiotics? What about those with sensitivity to the microorganisms in Kombucha? I personally believe it is morally reprehensible to pass on this colony to sick or healthy friends when, to date, so little is known about its proper use. At present there are no credible, recent studies as to the safety or usefulness of Kombucha, despite decades of hype.

??? People have been drinking that stuff for thousands of years, haven't they?
Shouldn't he be more concerned about crap like sodas?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on May 11, 2012, 12:47:47 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!

Don't interfere with CAPITALIZM, Dok! LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIET AND EXERCISE SEND ME $$$$$ AND I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!!

And no, even kombucha won't help a lardass.  :lol:

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 11, 2012, 12:49:02 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!

Don't interfere with CAPITALIZM, Dok! LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIET AND EXERCISE SEND ME $$$$$ AND I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!!

And no, even kombucha won't help a lardass.  :lol:

Plus, it tastes like sweet tea that someone left on the counter for a week.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on May 11, 2012, 12:49:58 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!

Don't interfere with CAPITALIZM, Dok! LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIET AND EXERCISE SEND ME $$$$$ AND I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!!

And no, even kombucha won't help a lardass.  :lol:

Plus, it tastes like sweet tea that someone left on the counter for a week.

I like it. But I'm kinda bent.  :lol:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 11, 2012, 12:52:07 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!

Don't interfere with CAPITALIZM, Dok! LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIET AND EXERCISE SEND ME $$$$$ AND I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!!

And no, even kombucha won't help a lardass.  :lol:

Plus, it tastes like sweet tea that someone left on the counter for a week.

I like it. But I'm kinda bent.  :lol:

She is, seriously.  She lives in small town Texas, and nobody's MAKING her do it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on May 11, 2012, 12:55:46 am
Wait.  Infect yourself with fungus to lose weight?

HOW STUPID OF ME, WITH MY "EAT LESS AND EXERCISE MORE" 12TH CENTURY OUTMODED BULLSHIT!

OH, THE SHAME!

Don't interfere with CAPITALIZM, Dok! LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIET AND EXERCISE SEND ME $$$$$ AND I'LL TELL YOU HOW!!!!!

And no, even kombucha won't help a lardass.  :lol:

Plus, it tastes like sweet tea that someone left on the counter for a week.

I like it. But I'm kinda bent.  :lol:

She is, seriously.  She lives in small town Texas, and nobody's MAKING her do it.

I'm the only one here who knows what it IS.
I should tell them Reagan used to drink it.  :lol:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 11, 2012, 02:28:12 pm
??? People have been drinking that stuff for thousands of years, haven't they?

Oh, have they?

Quote from: WP
The recorded history of kombucha began in Russia during the late 19th century.[citation needed] In Russian, the kombucha culture is called čajnyj grib чайный гриб (lit. "tea mushroom"), and the drink itself is called grib гриб ("mushroom"), "tea kvass" чайный квас, or simply kvass, which differs from regular kvass traditionally made from water and stale rye bread.

Some promotional kombucha sources suggest the history of this tea-based beverage originated in ancient China or Japan, though no written records support these assumptions (see history of tea in China and history of tea in Japan). One author reported kombucha, famously known as the "Godly Tsche [i.e., tea]" during the Chinese Qin Dynasty (221-206 BCE), was "a beverage with magical powers enabling people to live forever".[3]

:lulz:

I read up about Kombucha a while ago because as you know I'm always interested in strange homemade food experiments. My conclusions were:

- it's not at all as ancient as people would like you to believe.
- there's no conclusive evidence that it's particularly super healthy or beneficial, it contains some nutrients, but then so does instant soup.
- there's no conclusive evidence that it's particularly bad for you either, except if the SCOBY gets infected.

Given these attributes, I nominate it to be the perfect Official Wiccan Beverage.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on May 11, 2012, 10:33:54 pm
??? People have been drinking that stuff for thousands of years, haven't they?

Oh, have they?

Quote from: WP
The recorded history of kombucha began in Russia during the late 19th century.[citation needed] In Russian, the kombucha culture is called čajnyj grib чайный гриб (lit. "tea mushroom"), and the drink itself is called grib гриб ("mushroom"), "tea kvass" чайный квас, or simply kvass, which differs from regular kvass traditionally made from water and stale rye bread.

Some promotional kombucha sources suggest the history of this tea-based beverage originated in ancient China or Japan, though no written records support these assumptions (see history of tea in China and history of tea in Japan). One author reported kombucha, famously known as the "Godly Tsche [i.e., tea]" during the Chinese Qin Dynasty (221-206 BCE), was "a beverage with magical powers enabling people to live forever".[3]

:lulz:

I read up about Kombucha a while ago because as you know I'm always interested in strange homemade food experiments. My conclusions were:

- it's not at all as ancient as people would like you to believe.
- there's no conclusive evidence that it's particularly super healthy or beneficial, it contains some nutrients, but then so does instant soup.
- there's no conclusive evidence that it's particularly bad for you either, except if the SCOBY gets infected.

Given these attributes, I nominate it to be the perfect Official Wiccan Beverage.

The problem with calling it Wiccan is that it tastes nothing like Kool Aid.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Triple Zero on May 12, 2012, 09:21:30 pm
Granted :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Poppy on October 21, 2012, 11:04:32 am
If you're not the type of person who is anal about measuring and logging what you eat and how much you exercise the easiest way to eyeball the right amount of exercise is to watch the clock.  To maintain weight, I work out 30-45 minutes 4-5 times a week.  To lose weight, I work out a collective 60-90 minutes 5 times a week.  While trying to lose weight, I get off the machine to go drink a few ounces of water and stretch for about 2 minutes every 20 minutes.   2 days on 1 off, 3 on 1 off.  I use the elliptical machine with the resistance and incline about half up (8/8 of 15/20 maybe) or I bliss out on the row machine for about an hour and concentrate on my split times.  They are dismal but I'm not exactly built for rowing.  And I follow the no meal should be bigger than your fist rule.  That's been working pretty well.  My scale weight isn't shifting much but I look a hell of a lot better when I'm naked. 
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 21, 2012, 06:29:16 pm
That's pretty much entirely reasonable.

I'm not allowed to do anything except walk. :( Walk walk walk. Oh, and I've been cleared for a stationary bicycle, but not for a real one. I can't pick up anything heavy, and seriously, this is getting old. No running, no crunches, no swimming, no elliptical. No digging. I'm built for digging, it's what my people do.

All food is stupid and boring.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on October 23, 2012, 03:19:36 am
So...I think I might be getting fat. I might not be cut out for this life of not being forced to PT 5 days a week.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 23, 2012, 03:29:09 am
So...I think I might be getting fat. I might not be cut out for this life of not being forced to PT 5 days a week.

Yep.  Especially if you keep eating like you still work out.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on November 07, 2012, 07:52:51 am
I gained my Freshman 15 four years late over the past year or so. I kicked 10 of those pounds off in the last two months utilizing the two most basic strategies: eat less (in my case, by counting calories and not drinking booze) and get in an hour of walking 5 days a week (my home/school/work situation accommodates this nicely).

I did have to use a calorie-counting app called LoseIt! to actually track those things and stay motivated, for I am weak and without self-discipline.

Now to replace that flab with some muscles...
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Guide on November 26, 2012, 10:26:40 am
I'm both naturally skinny and a vegan. Healthiest part of being a (non-cheating) vegan? You eventually assume that everything has milk in it until proven innocent. So you check the ingredients on everything for awhile.. and then you soon get lazy and start buying stuff with 10 ingredients, tops. Plus, you actually know what the hell those ten ingredients are. Why vegan? It's easier for me to just do something vs. half-ass it. (I went vegan over a glass of milk, of which I drank like water)

Basically this has gotten me off of: all candy, pop, most/all processed foods, etc, and I feel awesome. I now love the vegetable aisle, because everything there has basically one ingredient in it.

For all of you who religiously insist on bacon, um... just find a diet that has an ingredient that's in lots of stuff, and make up some ethical reason for following it, or something, and then stick to it religiously. It works.

Oh, yeah. Exercise/no stress is definitely the most important. As in don't eat super unhealthy shit, and as long as you're relaxed and exercise regularly, you'll do better than anyone who has a super healthy diet, but is super stressed and/or doesn't exercise.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 26, 2012, 03:50:39 pm

Simple-fix diets are rarely healthy. A truly healthy diet requires a wide variety of nutrient sources.

But other than that, yeah, you summed up the thread. Eat good food, exercise.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on November 26, 2012, 04:13:44 pm
How common is Hypothyroidism, where weight gain is due to an improper hormone balance?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on November 26, 2012, 04:43:29 pm
I need to unfuck my eating habits. Shitty food, I eat small meals maybe twice a day, and I don't have to walk all the fuck over the place like I did last spring. And I'm not doing much else. :d
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on November 26, 2012, 04:44:22 pm
How common is Hypothyroidism, where weight gain is due to an improper hormone balance?
Don't know. Google and/or doctor?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 03:43:03 pm
I'm both naturally skinny and a vegan.

Then I hate you twice.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 03:52:20 pm
How common is Hypothyroidism, where weight gain is due to an improper hormone balance?

It's rare but not super-rare, about 1% prevalence, higher in areas where malnutrition and access to dietary iodine is limited, but the incidence of congenital hypothyroidism is increasing, probably related to the increase of industry-related endocrine agonists.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on November 27, 2012, 04:02:25 pm
I see.  Mrs LMNO's doctor decided to run a test on her for it, because she has a lot of the secondary symptoms... but she hasn't heard back yet.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 04:29:59 pm
I see.  Mrs LMNO's doctor decided to run a test on her for it, because she has a lot of the secondary symptoms... but she hasn't heard back yet.

It's usually very controllable with medication.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 04:35:22 pm
I see.  Mrs LMNO's doctor decided to run a test on her for it, because she has a lot of the secondary symptoms... but she hasn't heard back yet.

It's usually very controllable with medication.

Jenn's on that.  It works like a charm, once they get it dialed in.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on November 27, 2012, 05:18:38 pm
I'm both naturally skinny and a vegan. Healthiest part of being a (non-cheating) vegan? You eventually assume that everything has milk in it until proven innocent. So you check the ingredients on everything for awhile.. and then you soon get lazy and start buying stuff with 10 ingredients, tops. Plus, you actually know what the hell those ten ingredients are. Why vegan? It's easier for me to just do something vs. half-ass it. (I went vegan over a glass of milk, of which I drank like water)

Basically this has gotten me off of: all candy, pop, most/all processed foods, etc, and I feel awesome. I now love the vegetable aisle, because everything there has basically one ingredient in it.

For all of you who religiously insist on bacon, um... just find a diet that has an ingredient that's in lots of stuff, and make up some ethical reason for following it, or something, and then stick to it religiously. It works.

Oh, yeah. Exercise/no stress is definitely the most important. As in don't eat super unhealthy shit, and as long as you're relaxed and exercise regularly, you'll do better than anyone who has a super healthy diet, but is super stressed and/or doesn't exercise.

Vegetarian here. I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

It IS possible to pork out doing this. I just alternate...I eat what I want, then if I start feeling fat I live on beans (no added fat) and/or fruit for a few days. Never a problem except when I was laid up and couldn't really exercise, but that's under control now. :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on November 27, 2012, 05:21:19 pm
I'm both naturally skinny and a vegan. Healthiest part of being a (non-cheating) vegan? You eventually assume that everything has milk in it until proven innocent. So you check the ingredients on everything for awhile.. and then you soon get lazy and start buying stuff with 10 ingredients, tops. Plus, you actually know what the hell those ten ingredients are. Why vegan? It's easier for me to just do something vs. half-ass it. (I went vegan over a glass of milk, of which I drank like water)

Basically this has gotten me off of: all candy, pop, most/all processed foods, etc, and I feel awesome. I now love the vegetable aisle, because everything there has basically one ingredient in it.

For all of you who religiously insist on bacon, um... just find a diet that has an ingredient that's in lots of stuff, and make up some ethical reason for following it, or something, and then stick to it religiously. It works.

Oh, yeah. Exercise/no stress is definitely the most important. As in don't eat super unhealthy shit, and as long as you're relaxed and exercise regularly, you'll do better than anyone who has a super healthy diet, but is super stressed and/or doesn't exercise.

Vegetarian here. I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

It IS possible to pork out doing this. I just alternate...I eat what I want, then if I start feeling fat I live on beans (no added fat) and/or fruit for a few days. Never a problem except when I was laid up and couldn't really exercise, but that's under control now. :)

Glad to hear you're getting over your horrible kamikaze-induced injuries.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on November 27, 2012, 05:38:57 pm
I'm both naturally skinny and a vegan. Healthiest part of being a (non-cheating) vegan? You eventually assume that everything has milk in it until proven innocent. So you check the ingredients on everything for awhile.. and then you soon get lazy and start buying stuff with 10 ingredients, tops. Plus, you actually know what the hell those ten ingredients are. Why vegan? It's easier for me to just do something vs. half-ass it. (I went vegan over a glass of milk, of which I drank like water)

Basically this has gotten me off of: all candy, pop, most/all processed foods, etc, and I feel awesome. I now love the vegetable aisle, because everything there has basically one ingredient in it.

For all of you who religiously insist on bacon, um... just find a diet that has an ingredient that's in lots of stuff, and make up some ethical reason for following it, or something, and then stick to it religiously. It works.

Oh, yeah. Exercise/no stress is definitely the most important. As in don't eat super unhealthy shit, and as long as you're relaxed and exercise regularly, you'll do better than anyone who has a super healthy diet, but is super stressed and/or doesn't exercise.

Vegetarian here. I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

It IS possible to pork out doing this. I just alternate...I eat what I want, then if I start feeling fat I live on beans (no added fat) and/or fruit for a few days. Never a problem except when I was laid up and couldn't really exercise, but that's under control now. :)

Glad to hear you're getting over your horrible kamikaze-induced injuries.

Thanks! Nothing but twinges now, and I don't think they're anything permanent.  :)

Got a lot to attend to though. Things pile up when this stuff happens.  :x
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 05:50:38 pm
I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

COINCIDENCE?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on November 27, 2012, 06:14:40 pm
I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

COINCIDENCE?

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Aw, come on, just because people can pull guns at the malls in SA and be within their rights...
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on November 27, 2012, 07:06:26 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 10:47:12 pm
I'd go full or almost-full vegan but where I live (death penalty and barbeque capital of the world) there's not many vegetarian options, much less vegan.

COINCIDENCE?

 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Aw, come on, just because people can pull guns at the malls in SA and be within their rights...

Yeah, I didn't think so.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 10:48:21 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.

I can't run yet, too much abdominal tenderness still (as I learned the hard way) so I'm just not eating much and mostly avoiding alcohol.

GUESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Don Coyote on November 27, 2012, 11:02:24 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.

I can't run yet, too much abdominal tenderness still (as I learned the hard way) so I'm just not eating much and mostly avoiding alcohol.

GUESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?

So Portland is still a quarantined zone? :omg:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 11:11:18 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.

I can't run yet, too much abdominal tenderness still (as I learned the hard way) so I'm just not eating much and mostly avoiding alcohol.

GUESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?

So Portland is still a quarantined zone? :omg:

Only inner N/NE. I can't be fucked to cross the river or Burnside and I don't like going beyond 82nd.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on November 27, 2012, 11:31:22 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.

I can't run yet, too much abdominal tenderness still (as I learned the hard way) so I'm just not eating much and mostly avoiding alcohol.

GUESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?

Very cautious hug.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on November 27, 2012, 11:37:07 pm
started running on the regular again and lost 4 pounds. Just 15 more to go.

I can't run yet, too much abdominal tenderness still (as I learned the hard way) so I'm just not eating much and mostly avoiding alcohol.

GUESS HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?

Very cautious hug.

 :lol:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 11, 2013, 12:33:04 pm
Find out your lean body mass. You can go to a GNC, and pay $1 to have it scanned.

Find out how many calories you burn a day with that lean body mass. I have 245lbs of Lean Body Mass so I need 2200 a day. So I subtract 500 a day. In theory I should lose 1lb of body fat not weight a week.

This is the app I use to keep track of foods I eat. Helps if you're on the go, and keeps track of food you eat since you can scan anything with a barcode.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.fatsecret.android&feature=search_result#?t=W251bGwsMSwxLDEsImNvbS5mYXRzZWNyZXQuYW5kcm9pZCJd
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 11, 2013, 04:18:40 pm
...I have 245lbs of Lean Body Mass so I need 2200 a day....
Jesusfuck! you're a helluva specimen, huh?  :eek:
i mean, you look pretty tough from the pics that you've posted, but, damn...
what's your melee weapon of choice?
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 11, 2013, 04:22:48 pm
Well, I'm down 10 lbs.

I sort of plateaued this week because I've been indulging in wine and beer, which I need to knock off. That stuff is pure liquid calories.

But now that my car is broken again, I'll be doing lots and lots of walking, so that should help. I'm also doing very light and cautious weight training to improve my core strength.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 11, 2013, 04:23:59 pm
Oh, but the good news is that I am now at my post-op weight, and I should be fairly quickly able to get back to my goal weight now that I am mostly healed.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Juana on February 11, 2013, 08:01:00 pm
Find out your lean body mass. You can go to a GNC, and pay $1 to have it scanned.

Find out how many calories you burn a day with that lean body mass. I have 245lbs of Lean Body Mass so I need 2200 a day. So I subtract 500 a day. In theory I should lose 1lb of body fat not weight a week.

This is the app I use to keep track of foods I eat. Helps if you're on the go, and keeps track of food you eat since you can scan anything with a barcode.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.fatsecret.android&feature=search_result#?t=W251bGwsMSwxLDEsImNvbS5mYXRzZWNyZXQuYW5kcm9pZCJd
Ooh. This looks useful, because I was just thinking how much more useful MyPlate would be if it could scan bar codes or you could enter SKU codes.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 11, 2013, 09:16:01 pm
...I have 245lbs of Lean Body Mass so I need 2200 a day....
Jesusfuck! you're a helluva specimen, huh?  :eek:
i mean, you look pretty tough from the pics that you've posted, but, damn...
what's your melee weapon of choice?

I'm 375lbs with a 245 lbs LBM. If I have zero body fat I would suffer years and years of joint problems. My fault though for working my legs, lower back, chest,and shoulders when I was 17-23. I was trying to get them as strong,and huge as possible to lower my risk of injury when I'm 30+.

Weapon of choice? My legs that look like tree trunks.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 11, 2013, 09:30:35 pm
If I have zero body fat I would suffer years and years of joint problems.
:?
extremely low body fad leads to joint problems?

Weapon of choice? My legs that look like tree trunks.
I can certainly see how those could be a hobnailed nightmare.  :)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 11, 2013, 09:45:12 pm
If I have zero body fat I would suffer years and years of joint problems.
:?
extremely low body fad leads to joint problems?

Well, it does lead to death, so I imagine joint problems aren't implausible.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on February 11, 2013, 09:51:19 pm
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Alty,
Body nerd.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Freeky on February 11, 2013, 10:21:05 pm
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Alty,
Body nerd.

That is some fantastic imagery.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on February 11, 2013, 10:28:05 pm
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Alty,
Body nerd.

That is some fantastic imagery.

Thanks for saying so!
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on February 11, 2013, 10:34:37 pm
 :)
interesting.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on February 11, 2013, 10:35:00 pm
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Alty,
Body nerd.

Fuck's sake, Alty, that's beautiful.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Salty on February 11, 2013, 10:43:08 pm
Aww thanks.

For anyone wanting to learn more about the body I'm the vein that I described check out Job's Body by Deane...something. Deane McGoogleit. That guy is a poet and describes the mechanics of the body with such elegance.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on February 12, 2013, 01:18:36 am
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Alty,
Body nerd.

 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on February 12, 2013, 03:17:55 am
That WAS inspired, I must admit.  :lol:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 17, 2013, 09:32:50 pm
245 lbs would still be a burden on my joints,and ankles. 245lbs with no Bodyfat is still too big for someone who is 5' 8 1/2". Luckily when I'm older my frame should protect me for another 15 years before I become brittle. I can play flag football with all my friends, but they tend to get tired faster. They laugh at the fact I'm not tired sucking for air. I remind them I can not feel my feet, and in the morning they will burn, and I will cry. Tears of victory.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ben Shapiro on February 17, 2013, 09:39:14 pm
When you change your body's shape dramatically it has an effect on where your bones lay and, to a point, how they grow. The longer your body IS a certain way the more it actually IS that way. If you pack on a lot of muscle, especially in focused areas that are already much larger then the host of supporting and antagonistic muscles associated with their function, the joints tend to adapt to support the new overall structure.

Take away that structure, especially with any kind of rapidity, and those joints will fall onto each other. Horrifically.

DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.




Alty,
Body nerd.

MOTHER OF FUCK!
Title: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 04:52:57 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.



Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: MMMW on March 31, 2013, 06:24:05 pm
Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people donít get enough exercise.  Itís all about finding a sport you love so much that you donít need a quota.  :wink:
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 31, 2013, 06:37:59 pm
Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people donít get enough exercise.  Itís all about finding a sport you love so much that you donít need a quota.  :wink:

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 31, 2013, 06:40:15 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 06:41:59 pm
Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people donít get enough exercise.  Itís all about finding a sport you love so much that you donít need a quota.  :wink:

I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 06:44:59 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 31, 2013, 06:55:18 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 07:03:09 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on March 31, 2013, 07:14:42 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.

Lucky for me I have my own pool! What's the swimming-to-walking ratio?
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: MMMW on March 31, 2013, 07:16:51 pm
Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people donít get enough exercise.  Itís all about finding a sport you love so much that you donít need a quota.  :wink:

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.

And Canadians. Here rioting is a sport.

Quote
I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.

Well, I'm impressed you have any time at all.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 07:18:55 pm
It has come to my attention that, despite what I believed to be reasonable, if moderate, efforts to be active enough and eat right, I am still 20lbs overweight.

SO, I am starting this thread to remind my fat ass of the following:

1. No fucking beer, dumbass. For one thing,  you're allergic to it. For another, it's like 300 calories a pint and will contribute mightily to the volume of your thighs.

2. No wine, either, unless you're at a dinner party. It's whiskey and soda or nothing, and only three times a week, no more than three drinks.

3. No bread, pasta, white rice, or pizza. You can have rarebit and eggs for breakfast ONLY ON CONDITION you run three miles or walk four.

4. You can have up to 8oz of red meat a week. Choose wisely.

5. You're taking one real hike a week, from 6-12 miles of uneven terrain.

6. No desserts larger than a petit-four.

7. Track those motherfucking calories, and get used to snacking on motherfucking vegetables, bucko.





I should follow all this advice. Except I'm not sure I could hang without bread and pasta.

I'm not that fond of either, so it's no great loss to me. I can still eat whole-grain bread and pasta, but I don't like whole-grain pasta and the only whole-grain bread I like is my own, and I don't have time for baking these days. All the brands they sell at the store put sweetener in theirs, and it's disgusting.

I hate white bread, I only eat whole grain, but yeah brand is important. Most of it is way too dry and gross. On another note, I would have no problem limiting myself to 8oz of red meat per week since that's about all I can afford anyway (thanks a lot, Obama). As for desert, I'm very meh about that. The only other thing that's hard to do is that much walking. Living in the desert, for about 5 months a year walking that much poses serious health risks, plus they don't build these cities to be very walkable.

Yeah, I'm lucky my region is so temperate.

Do you like swimming? That's a fun activity, though I bet your pools are packed.

Lucky for me I have my own pool! What's the swimming-to-walking ratio?

Depending on the stroke and how vigorous a swimmer you are, an hour of swimming is equivalent to about an hour and a half of walking. It's excellent exercise! I'd say about 40 minutes of swimming is roughly equivalent to briskly walking four miles.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 07:25:07 pm
Treating exercise as a chore is probably the main reason people donít get enough exercise.  Itís all about finding a sport you love so much that you donít need a quota.  :wink:

This, in itself, is torturous. Sports? That shit is for Europeans.

And Canadians. Here rioting is a sport.

Quote
I love hiking. I also love walking the city, and swimming in the rivers.

My problem, as a single mom/full time college student, is making sure I'm consciously treating fun like a priority and scheduling TIME into my highly structured week to do it. If my time was open-ended, I wouldn't have to, because I'd be up at Eagle Creek or Angel's Rest every day.

Well, I'm impressed you have any time at all.

I really have to work to make everything stay on schedule. I'm the Mussolini of homework. It's hard to get my friends to understand why I won't do anything spontaneously, but, you know, it'll fuck up my timetable. 
 
So I can have a high-calorie breakfast only if I've scheduled myself enough time to walk to school and back, which is four miles.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on March 31, 2013, 08:16:59 pm
I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants :(
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 31, 2013, 08:21:58 pm
I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants :(

I just want to fit into all the pants I still have from when I was a size 6.

I'll settle for size 8 though.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: East Coast Hustle on March 31, 2013, 09:06:59 pm
I need to start getting serious about exercising somehow, or I'm gonna need new pants. I don't want new pants :(

It works both ways. :(

I lost enough weight to need new pants, but I can't afford anything that I'd actually wear right now so I just walk around all saggy and baggy in the britches, looking like either a hobo or a wanna-be gangsta depending on the outfit.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Cain on March 31, 2013, 10:50:28 pm
I've tried going for long walks in London.  I swear it's killing more of my lungs polyps than it is burning calories.

On the plus side, it is very easy to get on the Tube to somewhere a good distance away, then just walk back.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Left on June 09, 2013, 06:50:50 am
I went from 220 to 148 (lowest) doing something like this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1230347/Feast-famine-The-diet-wont-just-help-lose-weight-youll-live-longer-brainier.html

...Only I also regulated the "up" day calories.
I did this because I got stuck at 220, I was eating 1200 calories a day and not dropping weight.

This diet has some other interesting benefits:

Quote
One specific health benefit is relieving the symptoms of asthma - and that's not just because the patients have lost weight.
A small study of ten obese asthmatics found that after eight weeks they'd lost eight per cent of their body weight; their symptoms of the disease had also greatly improved.

The study, conducted by Dr Johnson with scientists from the National Institute on Ageing ( including Dr Mattson) and Stamford University, showed patients had less inflammation in their lungs, making it easier for them to breathe.

I should add, I've been vegan since 2000, but stress eating caused me to get back up to 275, at which point my very-frustrated asthma doctor suggested stomach stapling.
That jarred me so much that I got it off without surgery...though it was a miserable slog.
I have gotten lazy and have crept back to about 178.
At 148 I was hungry all the fricken' time though.
For my height (5' 9") I should weigh no more than 163 pounds.

Basically, being hungry as hell every other day is way easier than being hungry all the time.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2013, 07:49:42 am
I'm stuck at 155. Lost 10 lbs between going under and waking up from surgery last year (gross, I know, I would rather not know that either) but then bedrest and enforced inactivity bunged me up to 155 and my summer challenge is to get to 140.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Ůͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅť ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞ on June 25, 2013, 09:19:06 am
Basically, being hungry as hell every other day is way easier than being hungry all the time.

Welcome to my world, I'll eat an entire large pizza and still be hungry.

I just have accepted it as a perpetual fucked up state of being alive a la Buddhism.

I weigh 155 pounds and am 6' 1" but I bet my arteries look like an obese person's.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 25, 2013, 03:32:12 pm
I have just about managed to get my energy level back up to "hyper as fuck" by hiking at least 12 miles a week and walking all over fuck, and now I'm riding my bike again and can definitely feel the improvement in my legs and ass. The scale is still lodged firmly at 155 but I'm sure I've exchanged some muscle for fat. I'm working on my heart and lung capacity primarily now, and will ramp that up by throwing swimming into the mix as soon as I figure out how it fits into my summer schedule.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 26, 2013, 09:07:06 pm
Halfway through my second week of riding bike daily. I can easily rock the two miles to school without breaking a sweat. I have noticed a sharp uptick in my overall energy level, I am metabolizing alcohol noticeably more efficiently (both in terms of feeling the effects and clearing it out of my system faster) and I feel more alert and focused. Which is good given that I've taken to slamming awake at 6:15 whether I need to or not.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 26, 2013, 09:09:30 pm
I have again grown used to being a little bit hungry all the time.  It actually feels good, now.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 26, 2013, 09:34:43 pm
I have again grown used to being a little bit hungry all the time.  It actually feels good, now.

It's probably good for us all to feel a little bit hungry all the time. Being full weighs us down and makes us sleepy; it's for babies.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Reginald Ret on August 19, 2013, 10:30:52 pm
Hunger tends to sneak up on me.
I feel fine for hours, then suddenly i am weak and/or nauseous with hunger. Sometimes including hungercramps.
The only time i feel a little bit hungry is when i don't sleep enough.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: kiss my axe on September 23, 2013, 04:22:52 pm
I'm in danger. Hopefully getting my weights and yoga mat out of storage today. But that refrigerator with STUFF I LIKE (rather than crammed with ex-roomie's Paula Deen margarine-grease-and-leftover-fast-food vomit fest) is calling to me. Sometimes when I'm just bored. Even salads will fuck you up if you make them with avocados and cheese, which I do. It's finally cooling off a little here, so that makes biking and dog walking possible again. That helps.   
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 23, 2013, 04:28:18 pm
I'm doing a "cleanse" with my friend E, where "cleanse" is really just hippie-speak for a restrictive diet. Our goal is to each lose 5 lbs, so we're doing it until the weight is lost. I actually want to lose more like 10 lbs by the end of October, but we'll see.

For now, basically all it means is that I can't have grains, cheese, sugar, or alcohol.

TIME FOR MY KETTLEBELL WORKOUT.

Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Reginald Ret on September 25, 2013, 09:18:38 am
I'm doing a "cleanse" with my friend E, where "cleanse" is really just hippie-speak for a restrictive diet. Our goal is to each lose 5 lbs, so we're doing it until the weight is lost. I actually want to lose more like 10 lbs by the end of October, but we'll see.

For now, basically all it means is that I can't have grains, cheese, sugar, or alcohol.

TIME FOR MY KETTLEBELL WORKOUT.
No cheese?  :sad:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 25, 2013, 04:58:39 pm
I'm doing a "cleanse" with my friend E, where "cleanse" is really just hippie-speak for a restrictive diet. Our goal is to each lose 5 lbs, so we're doing it until the weight is lost. I actually want to lose more like 10 lbs by the end of October, but we'll see.

For now, basically all it means is that I can't have grains, cheese, sugar, or alcohol.

TIME FOR MY KETTLEBELL WORKOUT.
No cheese?  :sad:

I have a cheese problem.

Eliminating cheese and alcohol from my diet will almost certainly allow me to shed significant poundage.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on September 25, 2013, 05:08:41 pm
Just about back in 34s, doing nothing but what I wrote here...And without much of the exercise, too, because the goal here is to lose weight at a slow, steady pace.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Tor Hershman on March 24, 2014, 05:06:01 pm
You could, unless the term is being used literally, stop bein' a bastard...then ya'd just be fat.

I lost ninety pounds. How? Don't eat, starve, have an incentive such as The Ex wants me to be fat as a mantra.
Progresso 60 calorie a serving (120 per can) soups are great, Light Greek Yogurt (80-90 calories, 30% DRA protein), calorie-free & fat-free cole slaw dressing on raw cabbage and carrots IF you can stand the taste.  Oh yeah, cold drinks, much walking, starving ALL THE TIME!

See the pick, 25 lbs. more went since then makin' it 90.  I can now wear 34 by 34 jeans.
(http://photocamel.com/forum/members/tor_hershman-albums-tor+hershman%27s+stuff-picture13702-2013-tor-hershman-halloween.jpg)
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 24, 2014, 05:13:56 pm
You could, unless the term is being used literally, stop bein' a bastard...then ya'd just be fat.

I like the bastard part, though.   :sad:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 26, 2014, 07:38:08 pm
"Starve" strangely doesn't work for most people. I have no clue why.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 02, 2014, 04:51:52 am
My new schedule has me walking 5-6 miles a day and no time to eat, particularly. Should be good for my waistline.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2014, 07:01:22 pm
I have been shamelessly overindulging all break, and as a result I have failed to lose any of the pudge I was going to try to lose this summer. I'm not getting any younger and if I don't maintain a terrible vigilance I will likely become fat fat fat. I still have an overnight up the gorge with Hot Cowboy and a pig roast camping trip with my boyfriend before the return to school, and I have no intention of  being moderate on either of those trips, so my solution is that for the rest of this week, I will be eating and drinking only the most absurdly low-caloric and healthful of comestibles. For lunch I am having chicken broth with tofu cubes and spinach.

Add enough sriracha and it tastes like real food.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: LMNO on September 22, 2014, 07:06:55 pm
Add enough sriracha and it tastes like real food.


This qualifies as a Universal LifeHack.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 22, 2014, 07:08:18 pm
Add enough sriracha and it tastes like real food.


This qualifies as a Universal LifeHack.

 :lulz:
Title: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 05:08:34 pm
I have no idea where the original "How not to be a fat bastard" thread went, so I decided to start up another.

Previously, I was about 15 pounds overweight, and I'd been trying to lose it for fucking ever. Then I had surgery to remove a malfunctioning and tumor-filled organ, after which I weighed ten pounds less (yay!) but had complications (boo!) that restricted my exercise and general well-being for something ridiculous like six months. THEN, after that shit resolved, my internals took over a year to get back to something approximating 100%. In the meantime, I slowly packed on about 30 pounds.

Greeeat.

So, one of the things that nobody mentioned about about major abdominal surgery: not only do you have downtime from healing, and not only does it take a ridiculously long time for internal healing of severed musculature, but also, by the time you've healed you are so out of shape that flights of stairs you used to run up without noticing will make you feel like you're dying. Everything will be horribly out of shape, including your heart and lungs. That "kinda challenging" hike over the Waterline Trail to Skyline Tavern? Don't even think about it. So, after the actual healing part, it can take several months to a year to get your general fitness level back. AND THEN you can start losing all the postsurgery weight you've slowly gained.

With the help of an epic 180-step staircase in the hills south of the university, I lost five pounds before my trip to Borneo, and between Borneo and today, I'm down another five. So far so good, that leaves me with 20 to go. My current goal is five a month, and to that purpose I am walking four to five miles a day, and have cut alcohol out almost entirely (difficult, given that my son makes really excellent beer!) as well as carefully monitoring everything I eat. My school routine is easier than my home routine: a light breakfast, a small container of unsweetened full-fat yogurt with wheat berries, chopped nuts, and fruits, a hefty salad for dinner, and a snack of fruits and vegetables in the evening. Home is trickier because I'm here all day, usually in front of the computer. Boring! Boredom eating is tempting, and often almost autopilot.

Still, if I can lose five pounds in June, and five pounds in July, then in August I go to Peru, which will involve a lot of hiking and physical labor. Pretty much a guarantee that I will lose five pounds there. That puts me within a stone's throw of my goal by September, at which point I'll be back at school pretty much every day, making it easy as long as I maintain my relationship with the Cardinell stairs and stay far away from the taco cart.

Goddamn those are some delicious tacos.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 29, 2015, 05:39:54 pm
That sounds like an excellent plan!

What is the elevation going to be like in Peru? Colombia's thin air was a real challenge for me, making moderate activity much more difficult.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Bruno on May 29, 2015, 05:43:15 pm
While I've been unemployed, I've been trying to get into better shape. Job ended about 5 months ago in late December. I started out lifting weights and eating normally, except for eating more protein. I put on 5 more pounds between January, and the middle of March when I switched to walking and eating 1200-1500 calories a day. I was losing about 2 pounds a week for a while, but then the weather started getting kind of warm, so I broke out the exercise bike, and was doing 1-1.5 hours a day on that, trying to maintain about a 130 BPM heart rate.  I thought that would be as good as walking, but I've only been losing about a pound a week on the bike.

Altogether, I gained 5 pounds of, hopefully, mostly muscle, and then lost 15 pounds of, hopefully, mostly fat.

Riding the bike mostly just works the quads, so I'm picking up the weights again in addition to riding the bike. Hopefully, that will get me back on track. I've got another 50 pounds that I need to get rid of. If I can maintain 2 pounds a week, I should be down to a reasonable weight by Christmas.

Thing is, at 1200 calories a day, I should be losing 2 pounds a week just from the dieting alone. The exercise should be good for another pound or two, based on some internet calorie calculator I found.

Apparently, fat is bad at math.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 06:36:03 pm
That sounds like an excellent plan!

What is the elevation going to be like in Peru? Colombia's thin air was a real challenge for me, making moderate activity much more difficult.

Huaraz is over 10,000 feet, which means I am guaranteed a few days of elevation sickness. I was born and raised 300 feet above sea level, so unfortunately elevations over about 8000 feet can be brutal on me, although my past experiences in Colorado and mountain camping indicates that I should adapt relatively quickly, perhaps in part due to my Chiricahua and White Mountain ancestry. Part of my summer hiking plan involves high-elevation camping, since we do have all these convenient volcanoes around here.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 06:45:25 pm
While I've been unemployed, I've been trying to get into better shape. Job ended about 5 months ago in late December. I started out lifting weights and eating normally, except for eating more protein. I put on 5 more pounds between January, and the middle of March when I switched to walking and eating 1200-1500 calories a day. I was losing about 2 pounds a week for a while, but then the weather started getting kind of warm, so I broke out the exercise bike, and was doing 1-1.5 hours a day on that, trying to maintain about a 130 BPM heart rate.  I thought that would be as good as walking, but I've only been losing about a pound a week on the bike.

Altogether, I gained 5 pounds of, hopefully, mostly muscle, and then lost 15 pounds of, hopefully, mostly fat.

Riding the bike mostly just works the quads, so I'm picking up the weights again in addition to riding the bike. Hopefully, that will get me back on track. I've got another 50 pounds that I need to get rid of. If I can maintain 2 pounds a week, I should be down to a reasonable weight by Christmas.

Thing is, at 1200 calories a day, I should be losing 2 pounds a week just from the dieting alone. The exercise should be good for another pound or two, based on some internet calorie calculator I found.

Apparently, fat is bad at math.

The body is a complicated device. When you start building muscle at the same time as going to a very calorie-restricted diet, you have a couple of competing processes going on: one, your need to convert aminos to protein, and two, your need to convert fat to energy. What's probably happening is that you are converting a lot of your food to muscle while simultaneously burning off fat. Once your muscle development plateaus, your overall weight should plummet.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Bruno on May 29, 2015, 06:52:57 pm
While I've been unemployed, I've been trying to get into better shape. Job ended about 5 months ago in late December. I started out lifting weights and eating normally, except for eating more protein. I put on 5 more pounds between January, and the middle of March when I switched to walking and eating 1200-1500 calories a day. I was losing about 2 pounds a week for a while, but then the weather started getting kind of warm, so I broke out the exercise bike, and was doing 1-1.5 hours a day on that, trying to maintain about a 130 BPM heart rate.  I thought that would be as good as walking, but I've only been losing about a pound a week on the bike.

Altogether, I gained 5 pounds of, hopefully, mostly muscle, and then lost 15 pounds of, hopefully, mostly fat.

Riding the bike mostly just works the quads, so I'm picking up the weights again in addition to riding the bike. Hopefully, that will get me back on track. I've got another 50 pounds that I need to get rid of. If I can maintain 2 pounds a week, I should be down to a reasonable weight by Christmas.

Thing is, at 1200 calories a day, I should be losing 2 pounds a week just from the dieting alone. The exercise should be good for another pound or two, based on some internet calorie calculator I found.

Apparently, fat is bad at math.

The body is a complicated device. When you start building muscle at the same time as going to a very calorie-restricted diet, you have a couple of competing processes going on: one, your need to convert aminos to protein, and two, your need to convert fat to energy. What's probably happening is that you are converting a lot of your food to muscle while simultaneously burning off fat. Once your muscle development plateaus, your overall weight should plummet.

That's what I'm hoping. I've lost about 2 inches from my waist so far, which is the most objective measurement I have for fat loss.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Dubya on May 29, 2015, 06:56:47 pm
Went to see the doctor recently for a checkup. My doctor was concerned. Said I was down 20 lbs from my last visit. Wanted to do bloodwork. Just to be on the safe side, I got it done.

So she called me a couple of days ago, telling me theres nothing to be alarmed about. I reminded her what I told her at the time. I was fifty pounds overweight this winter because I had nothing to do but sit around. Now Im still 30 lbs overweight and shedding it fast because I walk everywhere and work my butt off 6-10 hours every day.

At this point, I dont worry about counting calories or cutting fat or sugar. I worry about adequate hydration and maintaining flexibility

But. When I was a student, I found that an hour or three miles of walking once a day (whichever covered more distance) did wonders, not just for weight loss, but for my state of mind. Couple that with a little strength training and a healthy diet and youre almost guaranteed to get skinnier.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Hoopla! on May 29, 2015, 07:03:42 pm
First fat bastard thread is stickied in Discordian Recipes.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 07:06:38 pm
I walk about 4-5 miles daily when I'm attending classes, because the campus is ridiculously huge. One of the science buildings is over a mile away from the other two. And of course, I have to get there to begin with.

But I'm also fighting that uphill battle of "Oh, you're over 40? TIME FOR THE OL METABOLISM TO SLOW DOWN SOME MORE". Which is fine, really, but it also means that dropping a few pounds isn't the cakewalk it was after having my kids.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 07:06:54 pm
First fat bastard thread is stickied in Discordian Recipes.

Oh well.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Dubya on May 29, 2015, 07:36:58 pm
I walk about 4-5 miles daily when I'm attending classes, because the campus is ridiculously huge. One of the science buildings is over a mile away from the other two. And of course, I have to get there to begin with.

But I'm also fighting that uphill battle of  "Oh, you're over 40? TIME FOR THE OL METABOLISM TO SLOW DOWN SOME MORE". Which is fine, really, but it also means that dropping a few pounds isn't the cakewalk it was after having my kids.

 :lulz:
Yeah, I hear that. Twenty years ago, the kind of workout I get on a daily basis would have had me looking like a bodybuilder. Now, itll plateau soon and Ill get stronger and tougher, but still be 15-20 lbs overweight.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Hoopla! on May 29, 2015, 07:49:46 pm
First fat bastard thread is stickied in Discordian Recipes.

Oh well.

Just in case you were looking for it. 😉
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 08:07:50 pm
First fat bastard thread is stickied in Discordian Recipes.

Oh well.

Just in case you were looking for it. 😉

I was, earlier today, but it didn't pop up in a search and then I gave up.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 29, 2015, 08:09:17 pm
I walk about 4-5 miles daily when I'm attending classes, because the campus is ridiculously huge. One of the science buildings is over a mile away from the other two. And of course, I have to get there to begin with.

But I'm also fighting that uphill battle of  "Oh, you're over 40? TIME FOR THE OL METABOLISM TO SLOW DOWN SOME MORE". Which is fine, really, but it also means that dropping a few pounds isn't the cakewalk it was after having my kids.

 :lulz:
Yeah, I hear that. Twenty years ago, the kind of workout I get on a daily basis would have had me looking like a bodybuilder. Now, itll plateau soon and Ill get stronger and tougher, but still be 15-20 lbs overweight.

When I lose enough that it doesn't kill my knees, I'll start running again, which should help with the last ten pounds.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2015, 07:08:12 am
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2015, 07:55:15 am
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2015, 07:57:48 am
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 30, 2015, 08:12:00 am
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.

I remember the time I tried to fire my personal trainer.

HOLY SHIT I almost had to get a restraining order. That woman was relentless.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2015, 08:13:37 am
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.

I remember the time I tried to fire my personal trainer.

HOLY SHIT I almost had to get a restraining order. That woman was relentless.

I ain't gonna fire Gary, on account of two reasons.

1.  He's more than likely going to be my new boss, and

2.  It works.  It's horrible and awful, but it works.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 02, 2015, 02:47:45 pm
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.

I remember the time I tried to fire my personal trainer.

HOLY SHIT I almost had to get a restraining order. That woman was relentless.

I ain't gonna fire Gary, on account of two reasons.

1.  He's more than likely going to be my new boss, and

2.  It works.  It's horrible and awful, but it works.

I think I've taken to liking intense exercise because it's one of the few areas in life where working harder and going through hell is actually pretty much guaranteed to get results (barring, like, malnutrition or overtraining).
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Reginald Ret on June 02, 2015, 03:50:12 pm
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.

I remember the time I tried to fire my personal trainer.

HOLY SHIT I almost had to get a restraining order. That woman was relentless.

I ain't gonna fire Gary, on account of two reasons.

1.  He's more than likely going to be my new boss, and

2.  It works.  It's horrible and awful, but it works.

I think I've taken to liking intense exercise because it's one of the few areas in life where working harder and going through hell is actually pretty much guaranteed to get results (barring, like, malnutrition or overtraining).
huh, I was thinking the exact opposite with the same reasoning.
That was in the specific case of an exercise bike-machine-thing1 though, not so general.
My idea was that exercise bikes are depressing because the resistance is not dependent on your previous effort, so there is no equivalent to sprinting to the top of the hill so you can coast for a while. The effort/reward relationship is all wrong. This is based on my assumption on how those exercise machines work and that has no basis in experience with said machines. So I'm probably full of shit again.

How DO those things work anyway?
Is resistance straight friction based, is there some level of simulation in them? I can imagine a version with resistance based on some kind of friction-limited flywheel that could get pretty close to reality.



1 Can you tell I haven't been in a gym since I was a kid?
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 02, 2015, 03:54:23 pm
The logical fallacy you're making there lies in the fact that you spent all that time thinking about the effort-reward relationship of a machine instead of doing push-ups.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Reginald Ret on June 02, 2015, 03:57:08 pm
The logical fallacy you're making there lies in the fact that you spent all that time thinking about the effort-reward relationship of a machine instead of doing push-ups.
:lol:
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Dubya on June 02, 2015, 04:19:25 pm
They do make exercise bikes now that can vary the resistance to simulate hills.

But in the end, you're still impersonating a hamster.  :lulz:
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Bruno on June 02, 2015, 05:50:22 pm
I've managed to carve 4 inches off of my gut while my waist stayed the same, and I went from 265 pounds to 271.

How, you may ask?

Easy.  I hired an expert torturer.

Do you mean...

...a personal trainer?

Those people are MONSTERS.

They're like physical therapists that don't have to be careful.  It's like finding out that your surgeon is on crack, or the pilot is huffing paint in the cockpit.  He just smiles while he doles out the pain, like maybe a Gestapo interrogator on valium that doesn't really want answers, he just wants to ask loads of questions.

I remember the time I tried to fire my personal trainer.

HOLY SHIT I almost had to get a restraining order. That woman was relentless.

I ain't gonna fire Gary, on account of two reasons.

1.  He's more than likely going to be my new boss, and

2.  It works.  It's horrible and awful, but it works.

I think I've taken to liking intense exercise because it's one of the few areas in life where working harder and going through hell is actually pretty much guaranteed to get results (barring, like, malnutrition or overtraining).
huh, I was thinking the exact opposite with the same reasoning.
That was in the specific case of an exercise bike-machine-thing1 though, not so general.
My idea was that exercise bikes are depressing because the resistance is not dependent on your previous effort, so there is no equivalent to sprinting to the top of the hill so you can coast for a while. The effort/reward relationship is all wrong. This is based on my assumption on how those exercise machines work and that has no basis in experience with said machines. So I'm probably full of shit again.

How DO those things work anyway?
Is resistance straight friction based, is there some level of simulation in them? I can imagine a version with resistance based on some kind of friction-limited flywheel that could get pretty close to reality.



1 Can you tell I haven't been in a gym since I was a kid?

My bike thing uses magnetic resistance. As far as I can tell, it's just a small electric motor connected to resistors, the lower the electrical resistance, the greater the mechanical resistance.

Also, it's a "semi-recumbant" bike, meaning that it isn't very good at either recumbant, OR bike.

I've set up my own little exertainment system with the bike, and a tablet propped up against a box fan so I can watch videos with a cool breeze while I "ride" it. This also has the unfortunate effect of making the sound all funny.

I do vary the speed and resistance, working in a little High Intensity Interval Training along the way.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Reginald Ret on June 02, 2015, 06:00:52 pm
<Snip>
My bike thing uses magnetic resistance. As far as I can tell, it's just a small electric motor connected to resistors, the lower the electrical resistance, the greater the mechanical resistance.

Also, it's a "semi-recumbant" bike, meaning that it isn't very good at either recumbant, OR bike.

I've set up my own little exertainment system with the bike, and a tablet propped up against a box fan so I can watch videos with a cool breeze while I "ride" it. This also has the unfortunate effect of making the sound all funny.

I do vary the speed and resistance, working in a little High Intensity Interval Training along the way.
I never considered magnetic resistance, I really don't know what I'm talking about.

I had to look up recumbant.

Sounds like you got a good set up.

Have you considered alternative ways of placing the tablet so the sound stays good? I hear sticks are multi-purpose.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Bruno on June 02, 2015, 06:34:34 pm

I never considered magnetic resistance, I really don't know what I'm talking about.

I had to look up recumbant.

Sounds like you got a good set up.

Have you considered alternative ways of placing the tablet so the sound stays good? I hear sticks are multi-purpose.

I push it all the way over to the bottom right corner of the fan, which is substantially better than in the middle. It works well enough.

When I was a kid, we had a exerbike that you could adjust the resistance by turning a knob that would crank down another smaller wheel on the big wheel. Problem was, if you forgot to un-tighten it when you were done, the next time you used it, it went  THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.

Recumbant mite B cool. Semi-recumbant, not so much. I got it because it could be folded up, and at the time, space was very limited. It also has all these "features", like telling you how many calories you've burned, distance, duration, and heart rate. None of which mean anything except heart rate. The calorie counter just counts rotations, and converts it into another number without even taking into consideration level of resistance, and of course distance is just irrelevant on a stationary bike.

As for duration, I usually go for one episode of Coding 101 on TWiT.  Right now, I'm Sweat'n to Python. In two more 45+/- min sessions, I'll be Sweat'n to Perl.

In the 4 weeks I've been using it, I've lost six lbs, four of which, for some reason, decided to show themselves just in the last week.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 03, 2015, 07:11:16 am
I have found that I like the IDEA of exercise machines far more than I like the reality. The only forms of exercise I've been able to stick with involve going outside and either covering a large amount of ground, or moving heavy things around.

Also I like digging.

Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: LMNO on June 03, 2015, 12:52:09 pm
Yeah, the only regular type of excercise I got/get is when there's another purpose to it.

Like, riding horses is exhausting, but I don't think of it as excercise, even though it's one of the toughest core workouts I've ever experienced.  Yet I could saddle up every day if I could.







Damn, maybe I really could have been a cowboy.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Cain on June 03, 2015, 01:16:13 pm
That sounds like an excellent plan!

What is the elevation going to be like in Peru? Colombia's thin air was a real challenge for me, making moderate activity much more difficult.

Huaraz is over 10,000 feet, which means I am guaranteed a few days of elevation sickness. I was born and raised 300 feet above sea level, so unfortunately elevations over about 8000 feet can be brutal on me, although my past experiences in Colorado and mountain camping indicates that I should adapt relatively quickly, perhaps in part due to my Chiricahua and White Mountain ancestry. Part of my summer hiking plan involves high-elevation camping, since we do have all these convenient volcanoes around here.

Yeah, Peru's high altitude is a bit of a bitch at times.

Admittedly, I grew up at sea level, so I didn't exactly have a lot of advantages when going.  But even the Peruvian "lowlands" usually exceed 7000 feet, with places like Cusco and Puno nearly reaching 12000 ft.

The most I had was shortness of breath and occasional nausea, but we had people blacking out at times.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 03, 2015, 04:44:52 pm
That sounds like an excellent plan!

What is the elevation going to be like in Peru? Colombia's thin air was a real challenge for me, making moderate activity much more difficult.

Huaraz is over 10,000 feet, which means I am guaranteed a few days of elevation sickness. I was born and raised 300 feet above sea level, so unfortunately elevations over about 8000 feet can be brutal on me, although my past experiences in Colorado and mountain camping indicates that I should adapt relatively quickly, perhaps in part due to my Chiricahua and White Mountain ancestry. Part of my summer hiking plan involves high-elevation camping, since we do have all these convenient volcanoes around here.

Yeah, Peru's high altitude is a bit of a bitch at times.

Admittedly, I grew up at sea level, so I didn't exactly have a lot of advantages when going.  But even the Peruvian "lowlands" usually exceed 7000 feet, with places like Cusco and Puno nearly reaching 12000 ft.

The most I had was shortness of breath and occasional nausea, but we had people blacking out at times.

I've never had nausea, but a definite general sense of fatigue and kind of like my head was in a bubble, lasting the better part of a week. Thinking back to staying with my sister when she lived in Winter Park, it really wasn't too bad, but then again I wasn't doing physical labor, either.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 04:29:29 pm
Weighed myself this morning and so far I'm on target. I'm not shooting for anything huge, just five pounds a month. I'm looking forward to minimal homework this summer, so I can really get some hiking in.
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 04:30:33 pm
If I bump this, the fat fuck thread, and original fat bastard thread, does anyone want to merge them? It makes sense to just  have one thread.
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 04:38:19 pm
Bamp
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 04:38:36 pm
Boop
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 05:19:45 pm
I hate 2011 "Oh I fit into my size 6/8 pants but I want to lose ten more pounds" me.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 05:21:53 pm
I still have a drawer full of size 6 miniskirts, which is what I was wearing when I was complaining about not being able to lose my "post-unhappy-marriage chub".
Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Cain on June 07, 2015, 05:21:59 pm
Done
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 05:24:32 pm
Although, ironically, that belly I couldn't get rid of turned out to be due to the soccer-ball-sized uterus full of tumors that I had surgery for, and the surgery is why I'm now actually fat for real.

So in theory, when I get back down to size six, I won't have the belly.

Title: Re: HOW NOT TO BE A FAT FUCK v.2.0
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 07, 2015, 06:08:34 pm
Done

Thanks!
Title: Re: The fat bastard thread part II
Post by: Reginald Ret on June 07, 2015, 07:46:35 pm
If I bump this, the fat fuck thread, and original fat bastard thread, does anyone want to merge them? It makes sense to just  have one thread.
Oh thank fuck, it is a merged thread. I thought i was tripping.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Cain on June 07, 2015, 11:06:55 pm
Did you want it in here Nigel, or Apple Talk?
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 01:05:25 am
Did you want it in here Nigel, or Apple Talk?

I suspect it is a better fit for Apple Talk. Thank you! You are a kind and responsive shadowy overlord!
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 01:06:05 am
The new title is making me LOL for real.  :lulz:
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 01:09:07 am
DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Also I just wanted to quote this.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 08, 2015, 03:50:59 pm
DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Also I just wanted to quote this.

I was just thinking about this quote a few days ago. Thank you for thread-necromancing it.
Title: Re: How to not be a fat bastard.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 08, 2015, 05:35:51 pm
DID YOU KNOW?!: Your bones are more like masts than a foundation. Masts carrying sails of meat to propel you into your stupid desires.

Also I just wanted to quote this.

I was just thinking about this quote a few days ago. Thank you for thread-necromancing it.

My pleasure. I wish Alty would come back to the board.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Junkenstein on June 08, 2015, 07:06:16 pm
Same here. Alty was often amusing and he could RAGE with the best of them.

Designate a Canadian to shanghai him back.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2015, 03:56:34 am
I plan to Nigel him back onto the board.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 09, 2015, 04:48:34 am
If he comes back, I will not shit on him unless he insists on shitting on me.

But I won't be talking to him.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2015, 06:26:07 am
If he comes back, I will not shit on him unless he insists on shitting on me.

But I won't be talking to him.

Having been at one time a raging, hypersensitive asshole in the wake of an ugly divorce from an abusive marriage myself, I am inclined to cut him quite a bit of slack.

It can take years to get back from a place as terrible as it can get in the wake of that.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Doktor Howl on June 09, 2015, 06:34:22 am
If he comes back, I will not shit on him unless he insists on shitting on me.

But I won't be talking to him.

Having been at one time a raging, hypersensitive asshole in the wake of an ugly divorce from an abusive marriage myself, I am inclined to cut him quite a bit of slack.

It can take years to get back from a place as terrible as it can get in the wake of that.

Which is why I won't shit on him.

But he has apparently joined the Dok is the Cause of All Bad Things Society, and while I am a slow learner, I have eventually figured out that nobody that has gotten on that bus has ever gotten off of it.

It's not that I'm mad at him, I got over that a year ago.  It's that I am learning to carry an umbrella when shit blizzards start.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Faust on June 09, 2015, 12:23:35 pm
I've gained a stone and a half from working from home. Going to try take up running or something.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2015, 03:30:37 pm
I've gained a stone and a half from working from home. Going to try take up running or something.

Working from home is both amazing and horrible! IME, the proximity of the kitchen can be a problem. I tried to make a point of walking to the grocery store twice a day instead of just eating what was in the house, and I ran in the mornings.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Faust on June 09, 2015, 03:39:15 pm
Yeah, what I eat if I do snack is mandarins, and I go out of 20 minutes for lunch, but I need to be going out for at least another half hour in the evening.

My diet hasn't really changed (if anything it's improved because I cook instead of getting takeaway twice a week). But I used to walk  to and from work which was an hour and a half of walking a day.

As for working from home, it was amazing for the first six months, but it's been a bit cabin fever for the last while.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 09, 2015, 04:21:56 pm
Yeah, what I eat if I do snack is mandarins, and I go out of 20 minutes for lunch, but I need to be going out for at least another half hour in the evening.

My diet hasn't really changed (if anything it's improved because I cook instead of getting takeaway twice a week). But I used to walk  to and from work which was an hour and a half of walking a day.

As for working from home, it was amazing for the first six months, but it's been a bit cabin fever for the last while.

I remember that. It was also when my forum addiction reached its height, because I desperately needed other people to talk to.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 09, 2015, 04:39:57 pm
Problem: since I moved, there's a Chipotle I can easily access on my way home from work.

(Hopeful) Solution: I still get about 1 to 1.5 hours of vigorous exercise twice a week. Not sure what the calorie exchange is but I guess I'll find out in the next few weeks.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 13, 2015, 04:04:59 pm
Went for a 4 mile run yesterday, and it felt GREAT. I am finally at a point where the limiting factor is my muscle tone, not my heart and lung capacity. Ended up going to a Zac Brown concert (YES REALLY) with Charley, and by the end of the day I put in 7+ miles plus dancing.

For the next three weeks I'm teaching up at a middle school about two miles from home, so my plan is to walk to it to maintain my current momentum. After that, it's back to AM and weekend runs until Peru, and after that I have 8 am classes so I'll figure something out. Maybe after-class swimming, maybe evening runs.

I'm holding steady at 155, my plan is to be at 145 at the end of this month and 140 by the time I leave for my trip. It's a little aggressive but well within the bounds of reason.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on September 29, 2015, 03:21:36 pm
Falling in love has done wonders for my waistline, because who gives a fuck about food? :lol:
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Meunster on October 01, 2015, 05:21:29 am
Ever since getting a job at sonic where they throw out like 3 meals a day, and the only no calorie drink is coffee.
Plus it's hard as fuck to find time to go to the gym when working.

But I'm still at 170, down from my old 210.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Roly Poly Oly-Garch on May 18, 2017, 06:19:24 pm
I think this is the appropriate thread to post my brags about having an actual saddle sore.

HEY PD! I'VE GOT A SADDLE SORE!

Truthfully, it can mainly be attributed to riding commando in Portland wet, but still...I've been doing enough of that to have an issue with sitting.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 18, 2017, 11:35:55 pm
Problem: since I moved, there's a Chipotle I can easily access on my way home from work.

(Hopeful) Solution: I still get about 1 to 1.5 hours of vigorous exercise twice a week. Not sure what the calorie exchange is but I guess I'll find out in the next few weeks.

Research results: the calorie balance means fuck all when you get a severe case of hyperthyroidism and your body becomes a nuclear furnace that vaporizes everything you put into it.

At the time of this post, I weighed about 165 lbs (88.2 litres). A year later, I weighed about 138. Now, nearly two years later, I weigh 192 and have the biggest ass and thighs of my life.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: LMNO on May 19, 2017, 01:25:55 pm
Problem: since I moved, there's a Chipotle I can easily access on my way home from work.

(Hopeful) Solution: I still get about 1 to 1.5 hours of vigorous exercise twice a week. Not sure what the calorie exchange is but I guess I'll find out in the next few weeks.

Research results: the calorie balance means fuck all when you get a severe case of hyperthyroidism and your body becomes a nuclear furnace that vaporizes everything you put into it.

At the time of this post, I weighed about 165 lbs (88.2 litres). A year later, I weighed about 138. Now, nearly two years later, I weigh 192 and have the biggest ass and thighs of my life.

So, silver linings then?

LMNO
-Likes that kind of stuff.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 20, 2017, 01:24:04 am
Problem: since I moved, there's a Chipotle I can easily access on my way home from work.

(Hopeful) Solution: I still get about 1 to 1.5 hours of vigorous exercise twice a week. Not sure what the calorie exchange is but I guess I'll find out in the next few weeks.

Research results: the calorie balance means fuck all when you get a severe case of hyperthyroidism and your body becomes a nuclear furnace that vaporizes everything you put into it.

At the time of this post, I weighed about 165 lbs (88.2 litres). A year later, I weighed about 138. Now, nearly two years later, I weigh 192 and have the biggest ass and thighs of my life.

So, silver linings then?

LMNO
-Likes that kind of stuff.

I'm coming to terms with it. My gut's a little bigger too, but I think most of the extra mass in all areas is muscular. Maybe 50/50 muscle/fat gains? It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.

The biggest annoyance is needing new pants. Luckily, Levi's has an "athletic" cut which is specifically roomy in the butt and thighs, so I can sit down without feeling like my pelvis is being compressed to a diamond.

Martial Arts: it'll give you the thickness.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2017, 04:52:45 am
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on May 20, 2017, 05:47:02 am
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2017, 06:01:00 am
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Eater of Clowns on May 20, 2017, 02:04:02 pm
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.

Fittingly, this moment for me was ass polyps.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 20, 2017, 08:07:30 pm
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.

Fittingly, this moment for me was ass polyps.

For me it was heart, brain, then pancreas.  They are all TRAITORS and I plan on having them removed as soon as is practical.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: East Coast Hustle on May 23, 2017, 06:03:33 am
Yeah, my lungs recently started plotting to kill me. It's a race now. I'm pretty sure I can kill them first.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 23, 2017, 03:28:25 pm
Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on May 24, 2017, 12:08:56 am
Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:

Yeah, electricity is way more elegant, as far as I'm concerned.  It does exactly what it's supposed to do.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Junkenstein on May 24, 2017, 12:17:26 am
It's not how I'm used to perceiving my body, since I've been a Skinny White Boy for the 25 years prior to this one.


Welcome to not being a kid anymore.   :lulz:

I woulda kept on with it for a while longer if my glands hadn't tried to kill me  :argh!:

You aren't a kid anymore the first time one of your organs, etc, betrays you.

Fittingly, this moment for me was ass polyps.

For me it was heart, brain, then pancreas.  They are all TRAITORS and I plan on having them removed as soon as is practical.

Brain, Back then brain again. When the surgery is finally invented to extract the tiny bastard behind my right eye, I want him taken out alive  so I can kill the fucker myself. Slowly. I owe that fucker some serious pain.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on May 24, 2017, 07:56:41 am
Any time I hear anyone extolling the virtues of nature and how wondrous biology is, I make a point of explaining to them that no it isn't. Biology is the most half arsed, shonky crock of shit platform the world has ever witnessed. It's over complicated, unreliable bullshit, with pretty much every single function achieved in the stupidest way imaginable.

My plan is to replace every dumb part of this piece of shit vehicle with something that actually works at earliest available opportunity. If nothing becomes available then cascade systemic failure is well underway. Another 10 years max and I'll be checking the fuck out. :argh!:

Yeah, electricity is way more elegant, as far as I'm concerned.  It does exactly what it's supposed to do.

You'll be able to answer this with your engineering chops - how many moving parts do we need for a mechanical arm with 2 ball joints, a hinge and a grip at the end? If your answer is less than a couple of trillion then you get the gig :lulz:
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 24, 2017, 10:11:08 pm
Nature is basically all about the good enough. Evolution is based on the principle that if you didn't die, you're successful.

It's a pretty low bar but it's still better than anything humans have come up with.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Ziegejunge on May 25, 2017, 03:58:22 pm
My wife and I are starting week four of drastically reducing our sugar intake. Reasonable quantities of fresh fruit and occasional beetroot juice is where it's at now, although I did chug a couple of Gatorades over the weekend despite knowing their sugar content (I had to work outside in the 95 degree heat and walked over 17 miles while doing so, according to my pedometer, and both the heat exposure and activity levels were way beyond my current routine.)

We've started eating meals, almost exclusively, with ingredients we can pronounce and understand. This and the aforementioned sugar avoidance make a big difference! We're both already looking and "feeling" lighter and more energetic.

It's usually easier for me to adopt a better workout/activity regimen if I've corrected my diet first. Sugar withdrawal is a bitch, though, and hit me this time around the second week. It's not too different from having the flu in a lot of ways: chills, aches, nausea, headaches, etc.

And of course this week both offices we share a building with brought us donuts. Nice of them. So far I've been good about avoiding them and the other office goodies, but damned if their siren song isn't strong! I remember last time I did this, I started dreaming vividly about pastries. I haven't gotten to that point yet this time, but it wouldn't surprise me at all if one were to occur at this point.

Annnnnnnd now Sugar Sugar by The Archies is stuck in my head.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 26, 2017, 01:04:27 am

We've started eating meals, almost exclusively, with ingredients we can pronounce and understand. This and the aforementioned sugar avoidance make a big difference! We're both already looking and "feeling" lighter and more energetic.


Better not take Organic Chemistry.
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Juana on May 13, 2019, 05:50:03 pm
bumping this back up bc Reasons.

so i'm 180-ish at 5'8, which is fine and i like how i look at this weight - i have a mesomorphy build so i look healthy - but i'd like to drop down to about 170 to see how i feel, maybe? i'm more interested in dropping fat and gaining muscle/how i look than i am in what the scale actually says tbh, and fortunately the latter is stupid easy for me (hail to the buff ancestor, lmfao, that beautiful mutant). i've been back at the gym for a few weeks and focusing on core work bc my back as BETRAYED me, and there's already a very noticeable difference in my posture and pain levels.

things i ought to be doing
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: LMNO on May 14, 2019, 01:01:23 pm
Remind me how processed flour and fire season relate?
Title: Re: Unlimited How Not to Be a Fat Fucky Bastard thread: now 100% more fat free
Post by: Juana on May 14, 2019, 06:52:51 pm
Remind me how processed flour and fire season relate?
I just have noticed that specifically white flour seems to trigger my asthma and fire season has done nothing but get worse over the last ten years. I don't know what the mechanism of that is, it's just a pattern I've noticed. 🤷