Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Or Kill Me => Topic started by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 11:50:11 am

Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 11:50:11 am
"Once, in the Enlightenment of Vivid Concoction, I saw God."
-- Source Unknown

"I drank what?"
 -- Socrates, or Jim Morrison.

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:    Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.  And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die:
 -- King James Bible, Old Testament, Dueteronomy, Chapter 21, Verse 18-21

"Everybody must get stoned."
 -- Bob Dylan

Man.  Am I ever sick and tired of everything.  Let's face it, existance isn't all it's cracked up to be, what with the costanting being instead of not being, and I'm not too fond of flamingos, either.

But what a bigger crock is there than when someone calls the Bible a book that 'Has some good ideas.'  Oh, yes, a book where the happy are going to be sad in the next life because they didn't suffer like the rest of the sad Emo kids, where rape and slavery are okay, and male genital mutilation (a rather touchy personal subject) is proscribed, has some bloody brilliant ideas.

I have a idea.  How about we all take a few deep breathes, consume whatever intoxicants we like (mine own perferred being none), and then try to come up with a religion that has one basic idea that everyone can easily to subscribe to.  Hell, it's not even a religion, it's just an idea.  Can you dig that, mister, "I have sinned against you?"

1.  If it hurts others, don't do it, dumb ass.

There.  Discussion will begin now, gnimbly will be serving cookies, whether he knows it or not, and Fluffy will be providing milk.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 18, 2004, 11:56:10 am
i liek the religion i have.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 11:56:40 am
Quote from: Horab Fibslager
i liek the religion i have.


How much?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 18, 2004, 11:57:13 am
i consider myself a fanatic.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 12:09:06 pm
No, I meant how much to join.  I figured it was some jaking, slackful, scientology thing.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 18, 2004, 12:27:59 pm
eh?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on September 18, 2004, 02:27:20 pm
only roger is allowed to give sermons.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 02:30:10 pm
Happy?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on September 18, 2004, 02:33:48 pm
moreso than before.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 02:35:15 pm
Quote from: Hotsuma
moreso than before.


See?  That's what it's all about.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: ~~~~Closed~~~~ on September 18, 2004, 02:36:18 pm
your new name is bassholio.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 02:39:09 pm
Quote from: Hotsuma
your new name is bassholio.


Huh?  I'm Forte?

Doesn't that mean I should be akwardly trying to tell Roll-chan how I feel about her and at the same time be trying to kill her brother?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: CannedLizard on September 18, 2004, 02:45:39 pm
Your one commandment (as it were) is pretty much the way I live my life.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 18, 2004, 02:53:25 pm
Quote from: CannedLizard
Your one commandment (as it were) is pretty much the way I live my life.


I got a convert!  WOOHOO!
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Donkeyotay on September 18, 2004, 09:36:24 pm
Quote from: Hotsuma
only roger is allowed to give sermons.


Here here....

:flings pie and jello at dorky paladin:
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: saint aini on September 18, 2004, 09:56:41 pm
Aren't all religions really jokes disguised as religions?

aini
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 18, 2004, 10:17:02 pm
Quote from: CannedLizard
Your one commandment (as it were) is pretty much the way I live my life.


no offense canned lizard, but that's one commandment for pussies. if i didn't do stuff because it hurt, then i might as well curl up up into a fucking ball an die.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on September 19, 2004, 12:49:46 am
Quote from: Horab Fibslager
Quote from: CannedLizard
Your one commandment (as it were) is pretty much the way I live my life.


no offense canned lizard, but that's one commandment for pussies. if i didn't do stuff because it hurt, then i might as well curl up up into a fucking ball an die.


*shoots next poster from three blocks away with an FN-Har*
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 07:24:43 am
Quote from: Donkeyotay
Quote from: Hotsuma
only roger is allowed to give sermons.


Here here....

:flings pie and jello at dorky paladin:


I'm not a Paladin.  I'm a Cleric.  Sheesh.  Read a Player's Handbook sometime.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Donkeyotay on September 19, 2004, 07:26:58 am
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 07:28:20 am
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


Nobody eats me except... um...

Possibly zombies.

I hear zombies do some Cleric eating every now and then.

Yeah.  That sounds right.  'Cause skeletons don't really need to eat, and Liches would just buy food.  Course, could be a ghoul or a ghast, but they're not too scary.  Aside from the paralysis.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on September 19, 2004, 08:40:20 am
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


True about DS.

But Donkey, why the hate, man?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Donkeyotay on September 19, 2004, 09:17:15 am
Quote from: St. Hugh, KSC
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


True about DS.

But Donkey, why the hate, man?


Hey....Just talkin some shit...havin fun....he's so easy to target with the cheesy posts....Really though, I got nothin against him... :shock:
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Donkeyotay on September 19, 2004, 09:20:14 am
Quote from: Revered Son Eric
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


Nobody eats me except... um...

Possibly zombies.

I hear zombies do some Cleric eating every now and then.

Yeah.  That sounds right.  'Cause skeletons don't really need to eat, and Liches would just buy food.  Course, could be a ghoul or a ghast, but they're not too scary.  Aside from the paralysis.


Devil Squerrel ate Paladine and Takhesis....I think I heard her say that Aumanator (is that right D&D geeks?) is next :shock:
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 09:32:39 am
Quote from: Donkeyotay
Quote from: Revered Son Eric
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


Nobody eats me except... um...

Possibly zombies.

I hear zombies do some Cleric eating every now and then.

Yeah.  That sounds right.  'Cause skeletons don't really need to eat, and Liches would just buy food.  Course, could be a ghoul or a ghast, but they're not too scary.  Aside from the paralysis.


Devil Squerrel ate Paladine and Takhesis....I think I heard her say that Aumanator (is that right D&D geeks?) is next :shock:


You mean Lord Ao, the Uncaring?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 19, 2004, 11:26:28 am
or, stfu nub.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Retreating Mushroom on September 19, 2004, 01:59:31 pm
But Amaunator's a totally different setting!  And dead.  I think.  Bring the ketchup, then.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 03:12:13 pm
I was always a fan of Lord Ao's.  Who needs worshippers when you're the Overgod?
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Horab Fibslager on September 19, 2004, 03:40:21 pm
strange all indications are that you're a big fan of this paladine fiction.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 05:20:25 pm
Quote from: Horab Fibslager
strange all indications are that you're a big fan of this paladine fiction.


It's not fiction, thank you kindly.  In the reality in which I exist, at least.

Your Universe May Vary, due to the Hubble Constant being variable.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Irreverend Hugh, KSC on September 19, 2004, 08:13:50 pm
Just smite the unbelievers...
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 19, 2004, 10:44:03 pm
I'm working on it.  When I get to that point, I'll just ask Paladine to hurl a fiery mountain at Washington, D.C.

After our operatives are out, of course.
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: devil squerrel on September 20, 2004, 12:20:40 am
Quote from: Revered Son Eric
Quote from: Donkeyotay
:uses Devil Squerrel as a shield:

:flings jell-o molotav back in Hugh's direction:


Paladin, cleric, whatever....Devil Squerrel will eat you no matter what you may be :twisted:


Nobody eats me except... um...

Possibly zombies.

I hear zombies do some Cleric eating every now and then
.

Yeah.  That sounds right.  'Cause skeletons don't really need to eat, and Liches would just buy food.  Course, could be a ghoul or a ghast, but they're not too scary.  Aside from the paralysis.



squerrel eat dorky cleric of Paladine ok

yum taste like salmon :twisted:
Title: UnSermon for Saturday, September 18th, 2004
Post by: Rupert Giles on September 20, 2004, 09:20:23 pm
Quote from: aini
Quote from: Revered Son Eric
I'm working on it.  When I get to that point, I'll just ask Paladine to hurl a fiery mountain at Washington, D.C.

After our operatives are out, of course.


But wouldn't your operatives enjoy the discord?

aini


Yes, but not the effect of being at ground zero of a Fiery Mountain Impact.

Wrinkles bedsheets, you know.

Right before the burst into flames.

Along with anything under them.

Right before they're smashed to bits.

...

...