Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 05:40:36 pm

Title: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 05:40:36 pm
I'm sure you've seen the creepy hand model lady interview. Here's even more with her:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1VsmvG9HiU

So, if someone came to you and was like, "Hey, here's this job where you can make a lot of money without very much work, but the trade off is that YOU NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN EVER AGAIN", would you even consider it?
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Reginald Ret on March 06, 2014, 05:46:19 pm
FUCK NO!  :argh!:
Doing stupid stuff that might scar me and will definitely hurt me is the entire point of living!
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 06:04:43 pm
I know... not being able to use your hands or do anything that might make them veiny, calloused and muscular rules out ALL THE FUN. ALL OF IT. Even throwing sticks for my dog, or planting tomatoes, or REALLY PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING. Horrible, horrible.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: LMNO on March 06, 2014, 06:21:03 pm
Scars from kitchen knives, a chunk taken out by a bandsaw, drumming calluses, a cool "L"-shaped scar on my palm when a horse threw me into a tree, and some I don't even remember how I got... Yeah, my hands look like the life I want to live.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 06, 2014, 06:24:11 pm
Scars from kitchen knives, a chunk taken out by a bandsaw, drumming calluses, a cool "L"-shaped scar on my palm when a horse threw me into a tree, and some I don't even remember how I got... Yeah, my hands look like the life I want to live.

Let's see...

10 years in the infantry.
Combined total of 14 years as an industrial/aviation mechanic.
2 years punching people for a living.
1 year dragging drunks around by the ankles.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: LMNO on March 06, 2014, 06:25:07 pm
2 years punching people for a living.

That's going to leave a mark.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Hoopla on March 06, 2014, 06:27:16 pm
She has completely inhabited the hand model mindset.  Those first 20 seconds of the video are pretty hilarious.  Who knew so much went into grabbing a slice of pizza??

I could never be a hand model.  Well, not for men anyway.  I have tiny little baby hands... go check one of my video reviews if you want the evidence.  Come to think of it, I might make a halfway decent female hand model, but I'm pretty used to grabbing a slice of pizza in my fist and just pushing it into my face.  It'd be hard to lose that muscle memory.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 06:52:09 pm
I have nice hands. Not hand model hands, by any means. I have callouses (my beadmaking callouses are all but gone now, though) and burn scars and a birthmark and freckles and fat thumbs and a scar where I almost cut my fingertip off and another scar that reminds me of the kind of person I don't want to be, and they're starting to wrinkle up from decades in the sun. I like these hands. Also, that lady is COMPLETELY UNFUCKABLE. Can you even imagine?
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 06, 2014, 06:59:52 pm
I have nice hands. Not hand model hands, by any means. I have callouses (my beadmaking callouses are all but gone now, though) and burn scars and a birthmark and freckles and fat thumbs and a scar where I almost cut my fingertip off and another scar that reminds me of the kind of person I don't want to be, and they're starting to wrinkle up from decades in the sun. I like these hands. Also, that lady is COMPLETELY UNFUCKABLE. Can you even imagine?

Yes.  Yes, I can.   :fap:
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Salty on March 06, 2014, 07:02:47 pm
She's never make a good eye model, too much HOLY SHIT.

When you've got such a small niche, and all the other people in your field are basically competitors, or the opposite sex, the isolation must be horrible, really. Combine that with the inability to do simple tasks and receiving so much praise for things like throwing strawberries into a bowl...that does not make for a very well-rounded frame of mind.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 07:41:37 pm
I have nice hands. Not hand model hands, by any means. I have callouses (my beadmaking callouses are all but gone now, though) and burn scars and a birthmark and freckles and fat thumbs and a scar where I almost cut my fingertip off and another scar that reminds me of the kind of person I don't want to be, and they're starting to wrinkle up from decades in the sun. I like these hands. Also, that lady is COMPLETELY UNFUCKABLE. Can you even imagine?

Yes.  Yes, I can.   :fap:

 :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 06, 2014, 07:43:27 pm
She's never make a good eye model, too much HOLY SHIT.

When you've got such a small niche, and all the other people in your field are basically competitors, or the opposite sex, the isolation must be horrible, really. Combine that with the inability to do simple tasks and receiving so much praise for things like throwing strawberries into a bowl...that does not make for a very well-rounded frame of mind.

Yeah, there is something about her that just screams MENTAL ILLNESS, and it's hard to tell whether she was crazy going into it or has been slowly driven mad by the lifestyle. Her tiny, nearly-atrophied forearms also creep me the fuck out.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 06, 2014, 08:50:21 pm
She's never make a good eye model, too much HOLY SHIT.

When you've got such a small niche, and all the other people in your field are basically competitors, or the opposite sex, the isolation must be horrible, really. Combine that with the inability to do simple tasks and receiving so much praise for things like throwing strawberries into a bowl...that does not make for a very well-rounded frame of mind.

Yeah, there is something about her that just screams MENTAL ILLNESS, and it's hard to tell whether she was crazy going into it or has been slowly driven mad by the lifestyle. Her tiny, nearly-atrophied forearms also creep me the fuck out.

And the way she's constantly "posing" them, as she would in a shoot.

Made my hackles go straight up.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 07, 2014, 12:23:33 am
She's never make a good eye model, too much HOLY SHIT.

When you've got such a small niche, and all the other people in your field are basically competitors, or the opposite sex, the isolation must be horrible, really. Combine that with the inability to do simple tasks and receiving so much praise for things like throwing strawberries into a bowl...that does not make for a very well-rounded frame of mind.

Yeah, there is something about her that just screams MENTAL ILLNESS, and it's hard to tell whether she was crazy going into it or has been slowly driven mad by the lifestyle. Her tiny, nearly-atrophied forearms also creep me the fuck out.

And the way she's constantly "posing" them, as she would in a shoot.

Made my hackles go straight up.

Brrrrr. Yes. Also in the other interview I saw with her, she was constantly gently stroking them with each other. Her lovelies.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 12:42:19 am
She's never make a good eye model, too much HOLY SHIT.

When you've got such a small niche, and all the other people in your field are basically competitors, or the opposite sex, the isolation must be horrible, really. Combine that with the inability to do simple tasks and receiving so much praise for things like throwing strawberries into a bowl...that does not make for a very well-rounded frame of mind.

Yeah, there is something about her that just screams MENTAL ILLNESS, and it's hard to tell whether she was crazy going into it or has been slowly driven mad by the lifestyle. Her tiny, nearly-atrophied forearms also creep me the fuck out.

And the way she's constantly "posing" them, as she would in a shoot.

Made my hackles go straight up.

Brrrrr. Yes. Also in the other interview I saw with her, she was constantly gently stroking them with each other. Her lovelies.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Salty on March 07, 2014, 12:47:47 am
I want to say that it's just good marketing. You got a camera on you, show your money makers.

But I'll bet she's like that all the time.

Imagine how she acts when no one is around.

Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Johnny on March 07, 2014, 01:08:17 am

04:18
Quote
...that means all the day before I have to be very careful about what I eat, I'm not eating salt or sugar, or caffeine, or anything that's going to pump the blood through my veins, so its a whole hand model diet...

04:46
Quote
...you don't want your veins, to be coursing, you know, with blood...
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 07, 2014, 01:12:36 am
She needs her hand modeling. It's her one special thing, that nobody else can do but her. Her precious gift, what makes her unique. She doesn't just do hand modeling, she is a hand model. There is nothing else.

It's everything to her, everything. This thing that makes her special.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 07, 2014, 01:14:29 am

04:18
Quote
...that means all the day before I have to be very careful about what I eat, I'm not eating salt or sugar, or caffeine, or anything that's going to pump the blood through my veins, so its a whole hand model diet...

04:46
Quote
...you don't want your veins, to be coursing, you know, with blood...

 :eek:

This reminds me of the time my co-worker told me about when he's tried to donate blood. At some point, it just stops coming out. There is no more blood to bleed.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Salty on March 07, 2014, 01:16:54 am
Maybe once she hits retirement she will go hog wild on spareribs and whitling and, you know, opening doors for herself.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 am
She needs her hand modeling. It's her one special thing, that nobody else can do but her. Her precious gift, what makes her unique. She doesn't just do hand modeling, she is a hand model. There is nothing else.

It's everything to her, everything. This thing that makes her special.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Eater of Clowns on March 07, 2014, 01:22:02 am
She needs her hand modeling. It's her one special thing, that nobody else can do but her. Her precious gift, what makes her unique. She doesn't just do hand modeling, she is a hand model. There is nothing else.

It's everything to her, everything. This thing that makes her special.

EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

 :lulz:

When I get out of work I'm going to have to actually watch the video.
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: The Johnny on March 07, 2014, 01:47:50 am

i can get her a friend that can emphatize with her "harsh" hand model lifestyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD8N3HVvmFs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD8N3HVvmFs)
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on March 07, 2014, 02:10:07 am
Jeeze, I am already out. Twelve years on the farm, including butchering (where I got one finger stuck in the meat grinder), 'deformed' pinky fingers, a year working in a stable, two years at a library, one year of heavy lifting/shipping/receiving . . . not to mention all the burns and cuts and scratches and the twisting of the knuckles from arthritis. Yeah, no one really wants to see my hands modeling shit. I'd die of boredom doing the model thing.  :eek:
Title: Re: Oh, hand model lady
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on March 07, 2014, 04:23:21 am
She needs her hand modeling. It's her one special thing, that nobody else can do but her. Her precious gift, what makes her unique. She doesn't just do hand modeling, she is a hand model. There is nothing else.

It's everything to her, everything. This thing that makes her special.

 :eek: