Messages

Tortillas.
Peanut butter
eggs
cheese
butter
potatoes
milk

Make gougeres , Pommes Robuchon, and sauce mornay.

In my house you clean up after yourself or you face the consequences. He was in bed asleep, but I yanked him out of bed by his wrist and beat him till the little coward wet himself. It really made me sick to watch the sniveling little shit cry on the floor in a puddle of his own piss, but god damn it he WILL learn to obey my rules. Of course during all of this my wife is screaming and crying saying that I'm "drunk" and "quit hurting him" and throwing herself in front of me, I had to push her down on the floor multiple times before I could finish giving him his medicine.

As many of you know I've been struggling with trust issues and despite the years of therapy it's taken a toll on my interpersonal relationships, especially with my girlfriend and our two sons.
Today before I left for work, I asked my youngest to make sure and pick up his toys before he went to school. This is not at all an unusual request, often times we let the kids play until they get tired and then we put them to bed and have them clean up after themselves in the morning. My girlfriend was present for the brief exchange between my son and I and she chimed in saying she was going to do some cleaning around the house before she went to a luncheon with some of her girlfriends. I came home after a pretty rough day at work to find all the toys all over the floor where they were before I left, and the house still as dirty as it was before my girlfriend said she was going to clean up. I walked around in what felt like a daze as I surveyed the soiled dishes in the sink, the trashcan almost overflowing, and toys ALL OVER the living room. My head started to ache and as I caught a whiff of the trashcan I started feeling sick to my stomach. I started digging my nails into my scalp like I always do when I get upset and so to calm down I went out to the garage and had a glass of bourbon.
After calming down a bit I went in cleaned up the fucking pigsty all by myself.

HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME? I don't ask much from them. My wife deals with the kids when they aren't in school and I'm at work. She tidies up a bit. THATS ALL I ASK and it doesn't even have to be perfect every day but SHE LIED TO MY FACE and said she was going to clean up and so did my son. I SWEAR to GOD I could fucking kill them sometimes. That inconsiderate fucking BITCH doesn't have to slave away all day to make a living and support the family, and now apparently I can't even trust my son to keep his word, and I wonder where he gets the idea that that kind of behavior is ok? From her. Always from her.

How do I win? I try to instill my values, SOCIETY'S values in my kids. HONESTY RESPECT INTEGRITY DISCIPLINE I try to give them a good life and spend time with them whenever I can, but I have to leave them with HER when I go to work, and they are in public school learning god knows what from god knows who! 

My father was a good strong christian man and when my brothers or I would get out of line, we knew we were in for a thrashing. He would beat the living hell out of us, especially when he was drinking but he knew that discipline was the key to raising a responsible citizen. He would come home late at night a few times a week, wake up my brothers and I, and have us line up against the wall and recite bible verses. God help us if we had forgotten or screwed up the verse he chose for us to recite. We were forbidden to avert our eyes when one of the family or even our mother was being punished.

He made men out of us and so help me god I will make men out of my sons.

So the question remains what to do about my wife?