Messages

As for 'pataphysics....


We've all posted on the message board.

Eris nailed the board to a collection of other boards and built a house,

in which She can sit at Her divine Apple Computer, and read what we've written online.

You're both wrong. There are no rules anywhere, thus there are no mandates.

The Goddess Prevails.

Fuck the environment.

It snowed in Baghdad for the first time in 100 years this year.

Iowa had the coldest winter it's had in years.

Fuck Al Gore.

He did not invent the internet.

But I'm pretty sure he made up global warming.

As a follow up, I did in fact swallow it.

The only wonder it brought was the taste of a stale, 4 month old breath mint.

I randomly mixed some drinks at a party, and this is by far the best thing I have ever done with my life.

Ingredients:

1 Large blender

1 bag of ice

1 bottle of Peach Pucker

1 Bottle of Jarritos Fruit Punch Soda

1 bottle of vodka

1 can of red bull.


Crush ice and pour into blender.
Mix Liquids as follows:

1 full bottle of Jarritos fruit punch soda
1 full can of red bull
4-8 shots of vodka
4-8 shots of pucker.

Mix until slushy.

(add fruit or salt for added flavor)

And enjoy.


I swear to Eris, this tastes exactly like red gummy bears.

Oooh Oooh!!. Since so many people are under so much stress being afraid of China, let's file a frivolous lawsuit for emotional distress!

Then we can fix the defecit and boost the economy!

Someone round us up some lawyers...

All the scared people express their fear of the "giant red billion-legged centipede that is Communist China" by saying "Oh, those Chinese, they're gonna start the next World War", or "theres something fundamentally wrong about their culture that I just don't get." or "Who knows what they're putting in our food!"

If China is going to start a war with anyone, my guess is it would be Taiwan. There's still plenty of random animosity between them. Random animosity. Randimosity. Randy Moss-it, E!

I personally love Chinese food.

The real fear should come from Saudi Arabia. I'm sure everyone has noticed the crippling effects of oil prices, and if Saudi Arabia should decide to stop trading with the U.S., our infrastructure would be crippled within months. Then we'll all end up fat and lazy because we can't get to work...oh wait...

As for Latino immigrants, the only thing to fear from the 'Latino Invasion' is the idiotic psychopaths who want to build a ginormous wall around the country with Latino-seeking missles and maybe laser turrets. It's kind of ironic when everyone yells 'They're taking our jobs!!' but all the jobs have been shipped overseas, so what are they taking?

The real thing America should fear is our own inability to elect a legislative and executive branch capable of using common sense to achieve anything.

At my college radio station, I would do my show. And for those two hours,I would stare longingly  at the perfectly round white pill sitting upon our stack of compact discs. Every moment I wondered what fantastical things may be presented to me through the consumption of this perfect pill. For weeks I dreamed about the pill and what wonders it may bring. The desire burned within me for what felt like ages until I finally brought the subject up with my band mate, close friend, and station manager. I said unto him,

"Sam, that pill on top of the Hot Stack...I really want to swallow it."

He considered my statement and turned to walk away. As he turned his back, he simply said,

"That's a breath mint. Duffey threw it there like 4 months ago."

And he was gone.

Hearing this, I was enlightened.