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Thinking about Gabbard in general, my animal instinct is to flatten my ears against my head, roll my eyes up till the whites show, bare my teeth, and trill like a cicada stuck in a Commodore 64.

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Messages - Timothy Tebulot Tower

#1
This is probably the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life.

Also, I once went to a metal club in melbourne, and a girl called me a preppie. I had to ask the bartender what a preppie was.
#3
I actually heard about this a while ago, on a podcast by a bloke named Steve Sumner. He does this little segment where he randomly generates an item, or person based on the rules of some sort of RPG rulebook. Anyway, in this episode, he decides to generate a weapon using the rules of FATAL.

I present to you: A Rending Garotte of Ravishing.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/steve-sumner/barbarians-dojo-4.php

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