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On your left, there should be... Never mind. I hear it looks back into you, and then the cold sweats and the night chills never go away for however long you've still got left. Best to close your blinds.

This intrigues me.  Want to know more. 

Collective human consciousness looking back at you knowing all the wrong that's been done?  Or just all the lost souls?  Maybe it's just a clown.  Just a happy/sad harmless clown.

Oh god fuck it, what am I doing? More horrors I don't want to know about. Poor fucking kid. FUCK.

Time to go pour myself into a gold dress and put on gold makeup and go to the gold party and smile, smile, smile.

Dark Empress Nigel, Portland is a dark city with a dark soul.  She smiles sometimes, a sunny cheery smile.  But for nine months out of the year she tries in vain to let the rain wash the blood off her hands.  Her main river runs in reverse.  And she always attracts the weirdest of the weird.  Not usually the truly horrifically strange that flock to LA and the Bay Area, but the quiet, subtle, mind-fuck types who given the right set of circumstances (nine months of rain and darkness, pure bleak) they forget about the light and just look ever deeper into the dark until they believe they are part of her and they succumb to her will.

You have seen the statue Portlandia?  Does it not scream, "Do not fuck with this bitch! She WILL cut you, or spear you with a pitchfork."?

You can post mine.   

What the hell was your's again?

Oh, the "This is going to get me in trouble..."

2 parts Coconut Rum (We used Coconut Jack)
1 part Chambord
2 parts Orange Juice
Splash Ginger Ale

In a highball, combine and shake the first 3, and then add the ginger ale when finished for a bit o' fizz. This shit tastes like candy.

I recommend using a jigger to measure the alcohol, because it will smooth the edges of a free pour.

I usually make something like this... only 7Up for ginger ale and no Chambord... now I needs to get Chambord.  Yes, very much like candy only much more fun!

6.  Do not try to outweird me in my thread, unless you can actually pull it off.  Going from POGS to syphilis, for example.

Just for my own clarity... was the jump from POGS to syphilis a successful attempt at outweirding, or a failed attempt?  Just trying to get a baseline here.

Ah, Spring! The season marked here by a rain-soaked carnage of worms and slugs on the pavement. The plums are blooming and heartbreak is in the air.

You know if you lick a slug, your tongue goes all numb?

I did know that! I don't think you can grow up in Oregon without knowing it. I mean, the slugs here are as big as an electric car.

Yep, more powerful too.

To OP - 

Ah, Spring! The season marked here by a rain-soaked carnage of worms and slugs on the pavement. The plums are blooming and heartbreak is in the air.

You know if you lick a slug, your tongue goes all numb?

Hmmmm, so all of this has me pondering where I fall on the spectrum.  There is a spectrum, right?  It isn't straight up monkeys or bipeds?  There is a learning/growth curve in there.  I guess it has to do with what happens when you start to see the  :fnord:s. 
I don't go running after the Truth, takes too much time.  I know I won't like it anyhow.  So, I removed myself to the fringe.  I live out west, in a low, very low population density.  If/when the fit hits the shan, I'm heading for the hills well armed.  I guess I'm not a team player.
I do know that I have my own reality, and I like it.  I will get pissy with anyone that tries to shake it up uninvited.  However, I think my reality is better than the Nascar watching, country music listening, bible thumping masses.  Fuck, all this sounds so much better in my head, then I start to type and it all turns to shit. 
The Truth?  what is the Truth?  We are all fucking cannon fodder?  For what?  For who? 
Anyhow, I think someone left the door open to my BIP cell... can't decide if I like it better in or out.

Schlachtschule, because you know it will be eines wunderbar place to practice seinen Deutschesprach.

SCT
-whose German ist jetzt sehr schlecht and mucho broken.

This post made my fluency progress go back 3 steps.

Happy to help.  Oder, hilfen sint Spass! (?)  Really, it's been toooooooo many years, but the random German thought/word still rolls through my brain.

Oh and to Don Coyote... I stand by my choice also, because the Schlachtschule guy seems so damn serious.  Wonder what his breaking point is?

Schlachtschule, because you know it will be eines wunderbar place to practice seinen Deutschesprach.

SCT
-whose German ist jetzt sehr schlecht and mucho broken.

I will remember to pray and make offerings to ECH when in Portland.  I know it will not get me into a holier heaven, but it can't hurt.  Right?

... shoot unarmed black men, crazy homeless people, or teenage girls without a halfway decent reason

oh c'mon, you know any half-way self-respecting metro area practically prides itself on having "some" members of it's police force being bat-shit crazy.  Fuck, I think there are three deputies that cover the county I live in, I know at least one of them is fucking insane.

If'n your at all interested in the cop thing... and want to check into it with someone in the know... my baby bro has a year + under his belt with the PoPo.  I could prolly get you in touch.  He has many wonderful stories of his adventures on SE 82nd and in NE.  Most of his best stories so far involve people being complete fucking idiots with what they say in response to his simple questions.  Then there was the old lady that kicked him in the 'nads because him and his partner wouldn't take all 152 cats and/or dogs/gerbils/rabbits - I don't fucking know what kind of critters - away for her because she was having 'issues'.  Really, really cool way to get to know people though.
Yeah, be cop.

A little longer in school... but, Nurse Anesthetist.  http://explorehealthcareers.org/en/Career/80/Nurse_Anesthetist

So I had crafted a reply, being sympathetic to the [fellow] n00b, but didn't post thinking he'd been run off.   Thankfully, you are still around, so all that damn typing wasn't for naught.

Oh, what the fuck I'll play. 
I believe that which will get me through the day with the minimum of harm to myself and others around me.  The only logical reason I try to avoid harming others is that the society I live in has repercussions for doing so.  While a .22 and a back-hoe can take care of a lot of bodies, there is the issue of authorities noticing fresh dirt.  I also have the option of mine shafts in remote parts of the country, but finding those can be time consuming and labor intensive.  Plus, the Jeep is getting close to needing a new engine.

Sorry, I kind of rabbit-trailed there.  Back to beliefs.  Essentially I cherry-pick what I like, make up other shit that makes my happy and incorporate it all, or not as I see fit.  This system, or lack thereof is the underpinnings of the First Church of the Burnt Lizard.  The only requirement for joining my church is that you must kill spiders.
Because I said so.  No logic there, fuck you if you can't deal with it.   

Is what I had to say.  To which I'll add that basically, you cherry-pick and do what you please which I can respect - you just use someone else's labeling system.  How lame.