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All the real Discordians left in a bobsleigh, about 6 months ago, to seek The Philosopher's Bone.
It's all Baptists, Seventh Day Adventists, and a few Breatharians now.

And Phox.

Yeah, and Phox. She's a self perpetuating, self contained system of Deity, Priestess, and Devoted Jihadist (and a whole bunch of other shit I can't mention)  rolled in to one, Phoxxy bundle.

Precisely.

Also, hello Jon, I'm a horrible cunt. Be alarmed.  

Phoxy is far too modest! Although she is indeed a cunt of the most horrible magnitude, this description falls so very short of the totality, it's almost misleading. Think of the worst case scenarios that recent history has to offer, and you'll find Phoxy's handiwork there too, just adding little artistic details that although uneccessary, nonetheless add to the whole incident in ways that get remembered. For instance, she sold a job lot of matching tracksuits to the Rev Jimmy Jones, the day before they celebrated Kool-aid day. She suggested being a Clown for children's parties as a career option to John Wayne Gacy. She told John Hinkley that celebrated Lesbian actress Jodie Foster, was ready to try to straighten out, if only he could convince her of his undying love. She fed the W.M.D story to a gullible C.I.A Intelligence Chief, trying to find the dirt on Saddam. She was driving the mysterious white Fiat Uno in the tunnel at the place de Alma, and overtook Diana's car at 150kph, just before the blinding white flash dazzled Henri Paul, resulting in that rather nasty crash. After the Monica Lewinsky story broke, She suggested to Hilary Clinton that divorcing Bill was the wrong option, and that instead she should use his influence to build a Political career of her own. (This is still panning out) She gave Margaret Thatcher the first three cats, with which she started her new hobby of dropping cats on peoples heads from a third floor window. She took and released the now legendary photos of stunted conjuring twat, Paul Daniel's wife, Debbie McGee having sex with a Great Dane.
These are just a very few examples of how terribly understated Phox's self description was, so I'd be more than just alarmed, I'd be on the first Bobsleigh out of here!

That just sounds like a fun afternoon, if you ask me.

hello Jon...
Didn't your professors warn you about using Wikipedia?

Yep. Which is why I don't actually use it for anything. Though their fears are a bit overstated, considering how hard the Wikinazis work day in and day out.

Well. Figure it's high time that I at least tell you guys and gals who I am, considering I decided to register and whatnot.

So let's begin:

• Demographics: My name is Jon. I'm a denizen of the great state of Louisiana, and I'm a young'un, so I'll amend this if nobody cares.
• Professional stuff: High school student, taking college courses in a school program so I can get some easymode credits out of the way.
• Unprofessional stuff: I do Lincoln-Douglas debate at my school, which absorbs a lot of time (but it's worth it) -- aside from that, I enjoy making music (and the occasional video), and I spend a great deal of time in the vastness of the internet.
• Topics/Projects: Being a greenhorn to this whole Discordianism bizness, I'm just interested in taking it all in for now. PosterGASM is particularly interesting. In terms of general topics, I enjoy talk about philosophy, piracy, literature, politics, silliness, and almost anything else under the sun that happens to pique my interest.
• Finding Eris/What I've Done to Her: Stumbled upon Discordianism while page-hopping Wikipedia (from the Absurdism page) and was really intrigued by the whole of it. So I read the Principia and the Summa, and I enjoyed not just the humor for its ha-ha factor, but the philosophy for its well hey these are actually some damn good ideas factor. I can also be a weird person, which probably fully explains why I was drawn to it in the first place. I figured I'd at least peek into the community behind it to explore it further.