Messages

[happened]

Most places in the US, with the possible exception of at home, alone, with the doors locked and the curtains closed.

It's unusual to walk the dog around the block without seeing somebody with a spandex-clad shin-level stomach, shit stains, or a gummy combover with flakes of dead skin the size of dimes stuck in it.

I don't have to wait on them, though.

Well, there goes my appetite. 

Jesus, what happened over there?!!!!!

I shouldn't get too glib, I guess. It's all coming to a neighbourhood near me.

[While in grad school working toward my doctorate]

While in grad school working toward my doctorate I worked at WalMart & would just like to say that the job atmosphere at that particular branch, although we all worked for peanuts, was one of the happiest & most positive I have ever experienced. I was there 2 1/2 years, was very glad to have that job, & have good memories still. In the end, it all boils down to what you decide to make of a situation.

Personally, I'd consider the chance to watch the passing parade of whatevertheyare-shoppers at Walmart a kind of bonus! Free entertainment as part of your salary. Where else could you get that? 

[And they could preserve lawyers in the same way!]

Man I wish we had grocery shops for people that live in space ... if they dump the food through the airlock it would immediately freeze-dry and pretty much keep forever, right?

And they could preserve lawyers in the same way!

Yes, but why would they want to?

.

You don't know that for a fact sir.

Quite so. I stand potentially corrected.

Hey, I know who you are. Aren't you that guy who plays guitar in Jesus' band? You know, the one that left that rather obscure band, Korn?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_%22Head%22_Welch

Nah, he's not me. I couldn't make 'sirenlike shards of dissonant guitar' if you paid me!

So, you don't know anybody famous after all, Bruce. Sorry.     

Hey, I know who you are. Aren't you that guy who plays guitar in Jesus' band? You know, the one that left that rather obscure band, Korn?

You got me!

No, really, you got me; I have no idea who you're talking about! Should I?

How am I supposed to give 50 posts when the postcount lies? 

Yes, I saw that earlier.

But I thought, since I'm new here, they'd cut me a break... today...

See? There are clues everywhere!

Maybe you were sleep posting.

Yeah, asleep at my post.

I'm losing it. I can't remember the other 118 posts that it says I made here.....

[them]

You see, I'm just a higher level of barnacle, equipped with upgraded oatmeal (it has salt!) and doing my own infections. And there comes a time at the end of every day, where I just get fed up, in my OATMEAL. In your OATMEAL. In our OATMEAL.

Yeah, "People".... pffft!!! Who'd want to be one of them?!

But I do feel a strange affinity for your sentiments. Does that make me a cereal hater, too?

Colourless green ideas fap furiously.

So, you're CGI Eff Effs?

God, you look just like real ones!

That's because you're not serious about having a good time.

I'm dead serious about having a good time. Dead serious.

Who are all you people?!

This! I look around me and all I see is weakness. I'm patiently waiting for some cataclysm, Supermarkets running out of Ugg boots, a power cut, drought, famine, X-factor cancelled... Anything where the ones who are capable of wiping their own arses can kick back and laugh at them all dying.

I don't even see this as misanthropy any more, I have so little in common with them, it's almost as if they're a whole different species. An unfit one, if Darwin is to be believed.

You and I undoubtedly share the same genes, you'll be pleased to know. 

"The traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to secrete a certain secretion that tends to kill sperm."

The best part about that remark is that nobody really said it.

Unless..... I'm on that other planet again..... Dammit! Why does that keep happening?!!!!

I've given this some thought, and it turns out you're right where you should be.

No, actually, I'm not right where I shouldn't be.

At least that's a start.