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Well done. Leaving it vague on most ends is a brilliant touch, and makes it much more impacting for me than the "look, it's a langolier in a different costume" sort that's come up before. Bravo.

Never listen to physicists.  They're just making that shit up.  Fucking cat is DEAD, do you hear me?

Except when it isn't yet. Statistic probability verging on certainty, but you'd have to ask the cat, and that thing's been in the box so long I don't think it's coming out.

[they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender]

because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender

I...how is that better? I've caused a lot of feelings and emotions (mostly outrage and/or confusion, but still) in the workplace. Obvious gender discrimination aside, that's a terrible precedent to allow on its own merits. Does anyone have a rail we can borrow to provide a brief ride?

Sooner or later, all our games turn into Calvinball.

I'm sure she wears it with more grace and aplomb than I. I can't help but get a little happier when I see kids running about with mohawks. It's so delightfully heartening, the precocious little scamps.

She is a five-foot-one tower of simmering resentment that my short genes are stronger than her father's tall genes. And social justice, and making people feel good about themselves.

I'll just assume, given the description, that I should adjust her perceived age and lay off the scamp bit. That's fantastic, though; my mom was on voluntary detail back in the day for various touch ups to the plumage also. Great lady, she was. Keep the tradition alive!

What is going on in here? I look away for ONE MINUTE. 

Short story shorter, hi. I'm likely to be the next sacrificial offering. What spices do you prefer I marinate myself in?

Oh hi! Cumin and garlic, please, it's chili season.

See, this is why I ask. I would have gone for a curry rub-down, and completely skewed the recipe.

What is going on in here? I look away for ONE MINUTE. 

Short story shorter, hi. I'm likely to be the next sacrificial offering. What spices do you prefer I marinate myself in?

There was a terrible barbed wire accident in my youth; if I don't fill the holes with something, all manner of obscenities and fluids leak out. The septum...that's just so I don't have to smell people in summer. Unwashed sweaty ape is not a pleasant aroma, especially down here.

I'm sure she wears it with more grace and aplomb than I. I can't help but get a little happier when I see kids running about with mohawks. It's so delightfully heartening, the precocious little scamps.

Westboro announced they were going to picket the funerals, and Anonymous just went on the offensive against them.

From what I've seen on it, they're planning to protest at the school, not specifically the funerals. Why just traumatize the families, when you can make so many, many more innocent kids suffer past what they've already had to endure? The ongoing debate is to whether they'll follow through, or if this is finally the time that people snap and put a few in traction.

Has anyone mentioned Type O Negative's version of 'Summer Breeze' ?

I remember the first time I heard the original and  'd all over the place because it just wasn't right.

That said, their cover/medley of Day Tripper still makes me giggle in the best way.

Type O Negative - Day Tripper

And while we're at it, this:
Hugo - 99 Problems
The dirty blues feel with incongruous subject matter induces happiness, and gets a lot of play in my bar.

Being the one on the right, about four months ago, during Isaac, when I was working the door and that was my permanent expression.

The only real positive I've seen from this goddamned horror unfolding is a sort of conscious push-back by a lot of people about acknowledging the terrible nature of it all while still trying to hold to the premise that, overall, humanity is in a much better place than at many points in history. The "oh fuck this, the world is beyond redemption" mentality that follows any huge crisis is an understandable reaction, but for the first time I've seen, it's being followed by "no, fuck that/those horrible person/people to death and support the thousands of quiet good acts a day that go utterly unacknowledged".

Perspective. We can try to move forward in a manner that trumpets responsibility and numerous small acts of altruism, or focus with cognitive bias on the relatively few, but more emotionally impacting, crises and set up the groundwork for more draconian bullshit.

That said...still doesn't change the fact that this entire setup is fucked. My people who were in Clackamas Town Center are losing their shit PTSD style, too.

Of course, don't think you're getting away that easily.

If I were really concerned with getting away easily, I wouldn't have registered. I had my chance for an easy out, but what fun is that? There are exactly zero TGRR holy names given, and much less awkward backpedaling around folk whose brains I appreciate, in the day to day.

That said, of course I'll eventually do something else wrong. Following that inevitability, I'll just quietly lay my head down and wait for the well deserved axe blow. That, or try the nifty "catch the blade between my hands" bit, which should have much the same result. Can't have the Nigels going hungry, after all. That's just rude.

Appreciated, LMNO, and my relatively sincere apologies for stepping on toes right out of the gate. I've been mouthy for too long, the logical part that says "perhaps I should tread carefully for a while" may be irreparably damaged. I'll have to work on that in the future before I dig my hole any deeper.

I'm not "offended", either.  I just think that I'll be avoiding someone who thinks that's funny, especially given that - at this time of day - most people are posting from work.

And how the fuck is that supposed to be funny in the first place?

That was a skewed attempt to play on your intro to the thread.

Bear in mind, of course, that this is the interbutts, and be careful how much information you put out there.

That, for me, always dredges up the 1500 pound rabid grizzly parody (http://www.reoiv.com/images/random/bears.jpg).

I am appropriately chastened, though, and can't fight the logic that work filters make life hell for many, many people. I'll just see how much of my boot I can cram in my mouth over that one, and certainly try not to repeat it.