Messages

https://youtu.be/jyCmnvBbm8Q

So why are grapes so relevant to your life that you think anyone with the name is after you?

Yes it is I. The object of your fear. The cold and uncaring cyber seerer. Sent from the rabiosexual community council of tumblr to slightly inconvenience your online life.

Want to see my character sheet for my deep undercover ploy to be online? It goes pretty deep.

Yeah, I'm in America.

Suppose it, wouldn't be funny to them. Cause they're not in on it. More a story about how I think I'm being sarcastic, but people take me seriously.

That's cool.

I was expecting you to throw it while yelling yeet. I am disappointed.

I think people may not understand when I'm joking.
I have a hard time putting any inflection in my voice. I'm almost always monotone. Even when in my head I think I'm putting on a funny voice, its always the same bored voice coming out. 

I was doing an on campus volenteering job where you get to pretend to be a secretary at school. Answering phone calls, handing out brochures, but the main part of my job is to make sure that every one who visits campus signs into a book and takes a visitor badge.

So today I am doing my volentold job. When a young woman comes to visit her partner on campus. She stops at the desk. Tells me she needs to sign in. I just nod and say. "Yeah, you do." And hand her a badge. The book is on the table infront of her. "Where do I sign in?" I look her in the eyes, look at the book, then back to her. Only to get cricket noises as a response. I take my pointer finger and point to a blank spot on the table. "Right here." She gives me a odd look. "Right there?" "Yep, right there on the table." "Uhh.. do you have a pen?" I open the desk drawer and pull out a sharpie. "This will do, name date and id badge number. In that order, remember to return the badge when you leave." This lady, like a fucking legend writes her name on the table. Thanks me, then walks out.

I showed my friend then cleaned it up with hand sanitizer. 

Dairy entry over.

My ears are ringing. And i feel so stupid for not realizing. You can print "Scratch and Sniff" on anything in the world. All it takes is a label maker.
I have labeled all staplers in the office "not microwave safe" and all the microwaves are labeled " Not fit for human consumption"

Atleast its funny to watch the hard hats pick up the can of Lysol. Scratch the paper post post factory label, and say "smells kinda fruity Jim" about the obviously fake sticker I applied. Only for Jim to roll his eyes and take the can from Bob, Scratch the sticker, hold it to his nose, and say "nah, smells like mint."

Moral of the story is never read labels. Or don't label things. Cause that's just prejudice and shit, but the real moral is that a human with a label printer shouldnt play pranks.





I find that if you have relations over your passed out friend's body, with his girl then you aren't a good friend.

Do the funny drugs in the bathroom.