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Messages - Doktor Howl

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1615
1
Apple Talk / Re: Welcome Back to Discordia
« on: February 16, 2018, 01:45:15 am »
Why is Weeping Gorilla so unnecessarily aggressive in your mastabatory comics?

cause Elvis only comes to the forum when he's drunk and judgmental

not really sure what he gets out of it, but clearly it makes him feel good to tell a bunch of people they suck

I blame myself, really.  He was talking sense elsewhere, and I made the mistake of pointing it out.

2
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: February 15, 2018, 01:03:03 am »
Glad to hearyou're  ok





Now I know how Dok feels when some potato potatoes up a fucking joke with requia-ing

What happened now?

3
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: February 14, 2018, 12:23:59 am »
So what do you do with all that carbon when it's, err... full?

Can you just lay it out in the sun and let it ventilate itself, and then reuse it?

You stuck it in a "Blue Oven" and crank the temp up to 400+.  In a well-ventilated area.

4
Apple Talk / Re: Dear Doktor:
« on: February 14, 2018, 12:23:01 am »
Dear Clementine Churchill,

Obviously, you should spend the 36 months here in Arizona, where we at least have bipeds.  It isn't good to spend that sort of time along among po'buckers.  You stand a very real risk of going native.  Are you ready for that?  Are you ready to vote for your own starvation, bray incoherently whenever you see a brown person, and put up with Disney thugs attacking each other outside the part?

Grab your shit, grab Squiddy and her dude, and get your ass back up here where things are SAFE.

Yours truly,
Baby Doc Duvalier

5
Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: February 13, 2018, 12:53:50 am »
My boss wanted me to write an article on pool hygiene so that people would stop getting in the pool without showering and maybe stop pissing in the pool and shaving their legs in the spa, etc.

So I did.

Then he read what I wrote, and told me that perhaps we should take out a radio ad or something instead.  Or put up more signs.

Nick:  "Well, sure.  We probably don't want to tell them what's actually going on."

Me:  "Yes, we do.  I mean, I SAID the water was fine, I just said how much money it costs to keep it that way when everyone's treating the pools like they were latrines."

Boss:  *Looks at me in boss*

Me:  "Fine.  Nick, order up another 500 pounds of carbon."

6
Apple Talk / Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« on: February 13, 2018, 12:19:50 am »
They've found that instant coffee powder has Mu-opioid receptor antagonists, which may help. I mean, the Imodium (Mu-opioid receptor agonist in the peripheral nervous system) is no longer in your system, but any natural Mu-opioid receptor agonism that might be going on will be stopped, which should speed up your bowels. Otherwise, other things which are known to speed up bowel motility usually won't work on the constipation caused by Imodium.

I just drank water until the residual chlorine made my throat sore.

Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

AHEM

The toilet, sewage system, and 200 senior citizens had a religious moment. You had a moment of extreme clarity.

Yeah, my thoughts were pretty focused.   :lol:

7
Apple Talk / Re: The *REAL* Evil in Today's Society
« on: February 13, 2018, 12:19:30 am »
Then at 2 AM, I had a religious moment.

Dok's ass larps the Creation Myth

first there was nothing
then there was something
then there was way too much of it
and then, he rested

 :lulz:

8
Apple Talk / Re: I just realized something.
« on: February 11, 2018, 06:27:51 pm »
Develop and deploy, I suppose.

You know what?  Forget I even posted this.

9
Apple Talk / Re: I just realized something.
« on: February 11, 2018, 04:11:28 am »
By splitting the atom we unleashed our power to destroy through creation and create by destruction-- becoming the source of our own destiny, a unified plur-ality of states. The insanity that followed, that was driven by our enemies' fear, which we then tempered with trust in return. By sharing with them our awesome power, MAD now verily secures the world. This is what our country will do for you.

That's beside the point.  It wasn't the nukes themselves, it was the fact that we were able to develop them.

10
Apple Talk / I just realized something.
« on: February 10, 2018, 02:44:28 am »
The birth of the United States was not on July 4th, 1776.  It was at 5:29 a.m. on July 16, 1945.

At 5:28 a.m. we thought we could do anything.  At 5:29, we knew we could.  And for good AND for ill, every single thing we've done has been based on that horrible & certain knowledge.  And our attitude (and our arrogance) follows, with some justification.

This is the only version of American history that both fits all of the facts, and explains the utter madness of the Current Weird Times™.

11
Or Kill Me / Re: Short rant on CLIMATE CHANGE.
« on: February 10, 2018, 02:07:31 am »
Update:  In 2013, Canadian Prime Minister Harper destroyed the fisheries libraries containing meteorological data going back to 1850 (including, I might add, my father's work from the 1970s).

Because if you have no historical data, you cannot observe rate of change.

12
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 10, 2018, 01:55:08 am »
I meant demand in the sense of "would be required to do if he wants to stay in his job, and alive". The Russian far-right are especially prevalent in the military, and Russian paramilitaries returning from Ukraine, as well as the Russian Orthodox Church, and a lot of them don't like Putin already.  If Putin led it slide, there'd be serious repurcussions.  He'd look weak.  And Putin's reputation is all about how he's a strong leader...

You make an excellent point.  But Putin could also use the resulting chaos for a purge.  It would be a gamble, but nobody ever called him timid.

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 10, 2018, 01:05:13 am »
Yes, but that's assuming there are strategic thinkers on both sides.  I'm not convinced there are enough on either side any more.  Putin keeps stoking the Russian nationalist fires...dead Russian troops at the hands of the hated Americans would demand a response, which would have to be overwhelming both in other to succeed and to quieten Putin's nationalist critics who are waiting in the wings.  Trump wants to devolve decisions regarding small-yield nukes to battlefield commanders, so even if Trump himself doesn't want war with Russia, some idiot on the ground, likely of the "lets start fighting Iran and Hezbollah and Russia in Syria" variety will take the decision for him.

Thing is, leaders aren't really interested in answering demands.  Putin does what Putin wants, and Trump does what Putin wants.

But yeah, local control of nukes is gonna be a festival.

14
Apple Talk / Re: More Futurisitic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part I of V
« on: February 10, 2018, 12:28:38 am »
So what happen?

15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: February 10, 2018, 12:16:38 am »
Yeah, that plane incident and follow up.  Once again, the Donald, clearly picking the best people.

In other news, WWIII nearly started in Syria a few days ago.  SAA (Syrian Arab Army) forces, using Russian "contractors" attacked a rebel command being "advised" by US troops, so the US retaliated...killing over 100 SAA soldiers and some of the Russians too.  Fortunately, Russia wanted such troops to be deniable for reason, and so is in little position to forcefully complain.

But what if Russian soldiers had been part of the attack?

And in other Russia news, the CIA are apparently buying stolen NSA data back from the Russians...and got a mysterious extra-helping of Trump data too!  How kind.

I am reasonably certain that US and Russian troops could slaughter each other in carload lots, and it wouldn't lead to a general war.

Troops are fungible, and nuclear war harms actual assets.

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