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Topics - Chairman Risus

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Aneristic Illusions / "GOP Presidential Online Internet Cyber Debate."
« on: January 06, 2012, 05:38:47 pm »
Great summary of this election season, or the greatest?
Dead on parody of the GOP candidates running for President, with a shockingly accurate rebuttal from the POTUS at the end of the video.
Yahoo! "News" and Funny or Die present the best mock presidential debate so far in 2012, the "GOP Presidential Online Internet Cyber Debate."

Starring Patrick Warburton (Rick Perry), Horatio Sanz (Newt Gingrich), Rob Delaney (Mitt Romney), Greg Germann (Jon Huntsman), Erin Gibson (Michele Bachmann), John C. McGinley (Rick Santorum), Leslie Jordan (Ron Paul), Mike Tyson (Herman Cain), and Reggie Brown (Barack Obama).


Capable of producing a beam of light so intense that it would be equivalent to the power received by the Earth from the sun focused onto a speck smaller than a tip of a pin, scientists claim it could allow them boil the very fabric of space – the vacuum.

What's more, by giving spacetime a hernia, it is hoped that theorized "ghost particles" may spill from the fissure, providing evidence for the hypothesis that extra-dimensions exist and the vacuum of space isn't a vacuum at all -- it is in fact buzzing with virtual particles.


Researcher Kevin Grennan has been working on robot armpits, complete with working sweat glands, hair, and odor.

The idea behind Grennan’s project is to allow robots to release chemicals that have a particular effect on humans. For example, a bomb disposal robot can mimic the smell of human fear, and a robot on a production line would release androstadienone, a chemical found in male sweat that Grennan thinks will “enhance the performance of female employees in its vicinity.”

Maybe it could work, but somehow the practical applications don’t make the idea of a robot armpit any less gross.

High Weirdness / Boa Virgin Birth
« on: November 04, 2010, 02:43:59 am »
A female boa constrictor snake has given birth to two litters of extraordinary offspring.
Evidence suggests the mother snake has had multiple virgin births, producing 22 baby snakes that have no father.
More than that, the genetic make-up of the baby snakes is unlike any previously recorded among vertebrates, the group which includes almost all animals with a backbone.

DNA fingerprinting revealed that the offspring had a number of genetic differences from any of their potential fathers, which ruled out all the males as sires of the litter.
That confirmed the first instance of a known virgin birth among boa snakes.

And you must worship them all as the second coming of your messiah.

Aneristic Illusions / 10.30.10 Rally
« on: September 26, 2010, 12:18:31 am »


I'm planning on attending these rallies up in DC with a few friends. I'll post more information on this as it develops.

What are your thoughts on this, PD?
And more importantly, is anyone else planning on attending?

Techmology and Scientism / Net Neutrality
« on: August 06, 2010, 02:00:10 am »
For all those interested in maintaining an egalitarian internet:
WASHINGTON — Google and Verizon, two leading players in Internet service and content, are nearing an agreement that could allow Verizon to speed some online content to Internet users more quickly if the content’s creators are willing to pay for the privileg
Such an agreement could overthrow a once-sacred tenet of Internet policy known as net neutrality, in which no form of content is favored over another. In its place, consumers could soon see a new, tiered system, which, like cable television, imposes higher costs for premium levels of service.

But was countered by
A report in The Guardian cites a Google spokesperson as saying ” “The New York Times is quite simply wrong. We have not had any conversations with Verizon about paying for carriage of Google traffic. We remain as committed as we always have been to an open internet.”
Verizon’s policy blog has posted a statement as well:

“The NYT article regarding conversations between Google and Verizon is mistaken. It fundamentally misunderstands our purpose. As we said in our earlier FCC filing, our goal is an Internet policy framework that ensures openness and accountability, and incorporates specific FCC authority, while maintaining investment and innovation. To suggest this is a business arrangement between our companies is entirely incorrect.”

Simple misunderstanding?
Why would the NYTimes get the story so wrong?

Or Kill Me / On Awakening the City
« on: July 01, 2010, 10:18:52 pm »
The people in the City aren't like you or I. They aren't like the bipeds you know of that think for themselves.
They hide their faces behind white masks emblazoned with corporate brands and network logos.

The Faceless have their rituals and deities.
They praise the skyscrapers and prostrate themselves before their computer and television idols.
The Faceless don't see the value in change the way I do. They don't admire independence of thought and ideas. They're set in their ways, keeping themselves just happy and sedated enough to not care about the World outside of their television screens.

I've tried breaking the Faceless from their grind and schedule, but it's not that simple. It was the Faceless that fenced themselves into this pen. They became satisfied with becoming the herd and began to fear the introduction of change into their enclosure.
I've seen the Faceless become erratic and fearful when they encounter something strange or unique.
They've become so institutionalized that they can't comprehend or process anything that isn't a part of the gears and clockwork of the City.

The Faceless do their best ignore aberrations or destroy the deviancy they face. When they can't, however, they panic, covering their heads as if some great Demiurge would descend on them for breaking out of their monotony and routine. It's this great invisible leader that they've assigned all responsibility to, and it's this great invisible leader that they've all pledged allegiance to.

I've been wondering if I could find the Demiurge and defeat it. I could show the head of the great leader to the people as a trophy signifying that they were all free again.

Would that be easier than proving that it's all smoke and mirrors and men behind curtains? That the state of the City was up to us the entire time and that we were responsible for our sickness and that we are the guilty party and that we are our own jailers?

I'd better start looking for this Demiurge.

Or Kill Me / On Entering the City
« on: April 16, 2010, 04:41:42 am »
I can’t blame anyone here. I can’t blame anyone for the levels of absurdity and hypocrisy they’ve reached. I wasn’t there when any of the decisions were made, and I can’t be certain I would make better choices myself.

I wasn’t there when fear was let into the city, when people started to be afraid.
They've got livelihoods to earn.
These people have families to protect.

You have to understand the overwhelming presence hanging over these people. If they don’t run along with the city, the machine, the system, whatever you want to call it, they risk getting ridden past the outskirts, and tossed outside of the walls.

That being understood, I cannot forgive these people for the monster they created to keep themselves warm; to keep themselves safe.

If only they could see the gears feeding on the people they were made to protect.
If only they could see the pedestrians panicking in the oncoming traffic that courses through the veins of their system.
If only they could see through the masks shouting through their television sets, hyenas pulling in those unlucky few who made the mistake of sitting too close.

On entering the city, seeing everything I saw, I had only one reaction.

I laughed.
Not because I was above it all. Not because I had a solution to the quiet madness patrolling, veiled, through the city. Not because I had figured anything out.
I laughed because that’s all I could do. I laughed because that’s how I survive.
I’m laughing now, and I’ll be laughing all the way until they take me to the top of their buildings and throw me off.

Aneristic Illusions / Potential Prosecution of Pope in UK
« on: April 16, 2010, 01:07:05 am »

Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens, the atheist author, have asked human rights lawyers to produce a case for charging Pope Benedict XVI over his alleged cover-up of sexual abuse in the Catholic church.

The pair believe they can exploit the same legal principle used to arrest Augusto Pinochet, the late Chilean dictator, when he visited Britain in 1998.

The Pope was embroiled in new controversy this weekend over a letter he signed arguing that the “good of the universal church” should be considered against the defrocking of an American priest who committed sex offences against two boys. It was dated 1985, when he was in charge of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which deals with sex abuse cases.

My personal opinion? I would love to see this actually work.

Aneristic Illusions / A smoke screen?
« on: February 06, 2010, 01:27:50 am »
Cain (or anyone with an eye on politics, particularly American),
              Is it possible that we're not giving the Republicans enough credit, and that they've been using Palin to absorb and draw criticism away from potential upcoming candidates?


Propaganda Depository / Attn Prof. Cramulus
« on: August 26, 2009, 03:55:53 am »
Tried to access Volume Aleph on Scribd.

Says downloading is disabled. They said you can't fix it, but I believe in you, Cramulus.

My computer has gone wonky so I can not print them out correctly so I'm pretty sure downloading them would be the only way to fix them.

Techmology and Scientism / Kai: "New forms of life"?
« on: February 20, 2009, 06:16:38 pm »

Here's the description the video already had: Artist Theo Jansen demonstrates the amazingly lifelike kinetic sculptures he builds from plastic tubes and lemonade bottles. His creatures are designed to move -- and even survive -- on their own.

Literate Chaotic / Homonym Game.
« on: May 20, 2008, 05:37:14 am »
Rules are simple:
Post two pictures of homonyms, let other people guess what the word(s) is(are), repeat.

Starting off easy.

Literate Chaotic / Genesis Revisited by Michael Shermer
« on: February 24, 2008, 02:19:54 am »

Genesis Revisited
Michael Shermer
Why Darwin Matters

In the beginning - specifically on October 23, 4004 BC, at noon - out of quantum foam fluctuation God created the Big Bang, followed by cosmological inflation and an expanding universe. And darkness was upon the face of the deep, so He create Quarks and therefrom He created hydrogen atoms and thence He commanded the hydrogen atoms to fuse and become helium atoms and in the process to release energy in the form of light. And the light maker He called the sun, and the process He called fusion. And He saw the light was good because now He could see what he was doing, so he created Earth. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be lots of fusion light makers in the sky. Some of these fusion makers He grouped into collections He called galaxies, and these appeared to be millions and even billions of light-years from Earth, which would mean that they were created before the first creation in 4004 BC. This was confusing, so God created tired light, and the creation story was preserved. And He created many wondrous splendours such as Red GIants, White Dwarfs, Quasars, Pulsars, Supernovas, Worm Holes, and even Black Holes out of which nothing can escape. But since God cannot be constrained by nothing, He created Hawking radiation through which information can escape from Black Holes. This made God even more tired than tired light, and the evening and the morning were the second day.

And God said, Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together unto one place, and let the continenets drift apart by plate tectonics. He decreed that sea floor spreading would create zones of emergence, and He caused subduction zones to build mountains and cause earthquakes. In weak points in the crust God created volcanic islands, where the next day He would place organisms that were similar to but different from their relatives on the continents, so that still later created creatures called humans would mistake them for evolved descendants created by adaptive radiation. And the evening and morning were the third day.

And God saw that the island was barren, so He created animals bearing their own kind. Thou shalt not evolve into new species, and thy equilibrium shall not be punctuated. And God placed into the rocks, fossils that appeared older than 4004 BC that were similar to but different from living creatures. And the sequence resembled descent with modification. And the evening and morning were the fourth day.

And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly that moving creatures that have life, the fishes. And God created great whales whose skeletal structure and physiology were homologous with the land mammals He would create later that day. God then brought forth abundantly all creatures, great and small, declaring that microevolution was permitted, but not macroevolution. And God said, "Natura non facit saltum" - Nature shall not make leaps. And the evening and morning were the fifth day.

And God created the pongids and homonids with 98 percent genetic similarity, naming two of them Adam and Eve. In the book in which God explained how He did all this, the Bible, in one chapter He said He created Adam and Eve together out of the dust at the same time, but in another chapter He said he created Adam first, then later created Eve out of one of Adam's ribs. This caused confusion in the valley of the shadow of doubt, so God created theologians to sort it out.

And in the ground placed He in adundance teeth, jaws, skulls, and pelvises of transitional fossils from pre-Adamite creatures. One chosen as his special creation He named Lucy, who could walk upright like a human but had a small brain like an ape. And God realized this too was confusing, so he created paleoanthropologists to figure it out.

Just as He was finishing up the loose ends of creation, God realized that Adam's immediate descendants would not understand inflationary cosmology, global general relativity, quantum mechanics, astrophysics, biochemistry, paleontology, and evolutionary bioloy, so he created creation myths. But there were so many creation stories throughout the world that God realized this too was confusing, so created He anthropologists and mythologists to explain all that.

By now the valley of the shadow of doubt was overrun with skepticism, so God became angry - so angry that God lost his temper and cursed the first humans, telling them to go forth and multiply themselves (but not in those words). But the humans took God literally and now there are over six billion of them. And the evening and the mornin were the sixth day.

By now God was tired, so He proclaimed, "Thank Me it's Friday," and He made the weekend. It was a good idea.

Or Kill Me / rant
« on: June 26, 2007, 09:11:37 am »
We used to have monsters. They lived under your bed or in your closet.  They waited at night for you to cut the light off before they could come after you.  Those monsters left. 
The monsters today stroll around in the daylight. They are no longer tangible.  They are greed, fear, hate.  You can no longer ward them off with a night light, waiting for your mother or father to tell you there's nothing under the bed, that nothing is out to get you.  But they were right about one thing. 
Nothing is after you. No one cares what you do.  No one cares what happens to you.  We live in a world where the man next to you couldn't care less, and would probably be more interested in you if you got hit by a bus.
Our leaders are corrupt.  Corporations run your city from behind the scenes.  Progression is a thing of the past, and we now look to survive in a plastic-wrapped, celebrity-obsessed, fear-mongering culture in disrepair.

But hey, atleast there's cable.  :lulz:

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