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Topics - Nast

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1
Literate Chaotic / Highly Fucking Relevant Poem
« on: July 27, 2016, 09:33:08 am »
So the poem that Hillary quoted for her 1969 graduation speech is pretty awesome and uncannily relevant to current day affairs. Thought I'd share:

"The Art of Making Possible" by Nancy Scheibner

My entrance into the world of so-called “social problems”
Must be with quiet laughter, or not at all.
The hollow men of anger and bitterness
The bountiful ladies of righteous degradation
All must be left to a bygone age.
And the purpose of history is to provide a receptacle
For all those myths and oddments
Which oddly we have acquired
And from which we would become unburdened
To create a newer world
To translate the future into the past.
We have no need of false revolutions
In a world where categories tend to tyrannize our minds
And hang our wills up on narrow pegs.
It is well at every given moment to seek the limits in our lives.
And once those limits are understood
To understand that limitations no longer exist.
Earth could be fair. And you and I must be free
Not to save the world in a glorious crusade
Not to kill ourselves with a nameless gnawing pain
But to practice with all the skill of our being
The art of making possible.

2
Apple Talk / Job Search Question
« on: January 15, 2016, 10:53:25 pm »
So I'm trying to apply for a job at a privately-owned bed and breakfast. Would it be a good move to pop over there in person to introduce myself and ask if they are hiring, and if so, for what position? Or is this obnoxious? I just ask because in the past I've gotten into awkward situations for doing this (the people at the establishment were busy and stressed out and didn't want to deal with me, the person I talked to wasn't even sure if the place was hiring or not, etc.).

I'm worried that if I ask via email, I'll just be ignored or given a vague fluff-off answer.

I'm happy to hear of your advice on best how to approach this.

3
Discordian Recipes / What Does Everyone Eat for Breakfast?
« on: December 16, 2015, 04:16:59 am »
I generally have a problem finding foods to eat for breakfast, since I am a freak of nature and dislike the conventional American fare (cereal, eggs, French toast). Usually I'll just end up having leftovers from last night's dinner, but my favorite things for breakfast are:

-Tea/hot chocolate
-Atole
-Miso soup
- Soup/curry

So, what do y'all usually have?


4
Bring and Brag / Painting Series
« on: November 17, 2015, 03:24:19 am »
Hey guys, recently I completed my first-ever painting series. I'll just post a link here instead of spagging up the place with giant images: https://www.flickr.com/photos/46049981@N03/albums/72157658468792505

They're ten paintings, and all of them are done with spray paint and acrylics.

5
Apple Talk / ATTN NIGEL (and other people too)
« on: October 16, 2015, 12:11:57 am »
There's an artist who makes glass sculptures of microorganisms. They're gorgeous:

http://www.lukejerram.com/glass/gallery

6
Literate Chaotic / Strange Relations
« on: October 10, 2015, 07:04:12 am »
Tonight I came across the obituary of a person whom I never met and I never knew.

Even though we had no connection in life, the impact of his death reached me through a series of chance (?) events. Like ripples on a pond, like links on a chain. Without ever intending it, he permanently altered the context of all my future romantic relationships. (Thanks.)

The comments on the obituary page are breaking my heart. It’s weird to read them - to feel so involved and yet uninvolved at the same time. I’m reading the private diary of my lover and discovering a portion of their inner life that utterly excludes me.

I cried. For lots of reasons. It’s complicated. Partly because I felt so sad that I couldn’t help them, either the living or the dead. They have this monumental, world-bridging connection, and I’m just some transient observer in it all. Partly because now that I know more fully, it doesn’t matter at all.

So I float away, silently, like I’m the ghost.

7
Or Kill Me / The Desert
« on: September 24, 2015, 06:56:34 am »
You know, from the outside, things look alright: I have a warm bed, I have enough food, I'm not homeless or in prison. I live clean, I have a college degree. People tell me that I'm talented and good-looking. But on the inside I know that I'm a failure, because somewhere along the line I fell off this conveyor belt and was never able to get back on again.

I used to bright, you know, but there's so much dust in this place that I can't distinguish myself from the landscape. It's so flat and wide and desolate. The sun beats down; I have no protection.

I missed every milestone.

My peers went zooming past me long ago to that place they call a Fulfilling Life. You can see it shining over there on the horizon, that fabled place, that place we're promised if we behave in school and interview well.

The desert is full of mirages.

I stopped being thirsty a long time ago. The dust sort of settles in everywhere - into your mouth, your nose, your eyes - until you become dust yourself. My throat filled up, I expected to yearn for breath, but that never came. I accepted this.

When your body gets sick, people send you flowers.
When your mind is sick, it's like no one wants to look at you at all.

8
Discordian Recipes / YUMMY DESSERTS
« on: September 21, 2015, 05:22:47 am »
Sometimes I make desserts for special occasions, friends, etc. Here are some cakes I make in the recent past: orange olive oil bundt cake, vanilla chiffon cake with fun fruit ornamentation, a mango mousse cake that contains pure rage





(Sorry for the obnoxiously large pictures; I'm having trouble resizing them on the machine I'm on and will try to fix it later)

Feel free to post your own desserts.

9
Apple Talk / Children on My Internets
« on: April 03, 2013, 10:00:40 am »
Is there a certain age that at which you would allow your child to post on an internet forum that wasn’t child oriented?
Of course there are the usual issues about safety and child predators and “is my little Johnny looking at weird Dutch porn again?” that any parent would be concerned about, but I’m more interested in hearing about what opinions you would have in terms of what level of social development a kid should reach before being able to interact with adult strangers online.

The only issue that comes to my mind, and this is something that comes from my own experience, is that while a kid may have enough smarts to engage in forum interaction, they may lack the proper amount of emotional development to avoid and/or cope with the usual pitfalls of online dickery. I know that if at age 15 I got into an argument with a stranger over the internet, I would definitely take it personally, resulting in lots of butthurt and hurt feelings and simmering resentments. Not to say that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to adult forum users. In fact, it’s awfully common.

I joined my first internet forum when I was 13, and PD a few years after that. I’m an adult now, so looking back on it naturally makes me feel a bit embarrassed about the silly things I must have posted, but it also makes me think about this sort of thing more.

10
Or Kill Me / A Response to "Welcome to a Chinese Wal*Mart"
« on: April 03, 2013, 08:14:37 am »
So probably some of you can sympathize with being the recipient of mind-numbingly dumb and perhaps even racist chain emails forwarded to you from a relative. Well, tonight I found an email forwarded to my inbox from my well-meaning  mother, which filled me with such annoyance that I had to hit "reply all" and send a brief response, which probably will do no good but at least temporarily relieved the flow of bile that had quickly welled up from depths of my gall badder. The email forwarded, entitled "Welcome to a Chinese Wal*mart" was a series of photos of the interior of a Wal*Mart and the products within in it, focusing on such lurid things as bins of organ meats, frozen crocodile heads, and wacky household products. This in itself didn't offend me, it was the asinine "Hey look at how BARBARIC and WEIRD these furrnerrs are" tone that the commentary on the photos were written in that did it. This was my response:

     While the article brought up a fair concern of lack of sanitation standards in the store (that I won't debate), I found it was mostly pandering to the depressingly common and may I say thoroughly racist depiction of Eastern culture as backwards and wacky, effectively reducing it to an "Other" to merely be gawked at from the comfort of our Western cultural tunnel. The author sneers at food products that are considered dirty and inedible in the West such as organ meats and reptiles, making a spectacle of what is a normal part of these people's food culture. It is an extremely juvenile and culturally insensitive approach, the adult equivalent to a 4th grader making fun of another student's lunch. Clearly our culture has not moved on from the fucking 18th century, when stories of the "exotic Orient" titillated the populace and fed into an inaccurate and imaginary picture of East Asians that made any cross-cultural understanding nigh impossible.

     And if we're going to compare apples to apples, it's no worse than the processed crap foods that American Walmarts are filled with.Hell, at least these people know that the food they're eating was at one point alive, not something brewed in a chemical vat and canned, to later be injected directly into the bloodstream of our precious Honey-Boo-Boo child so that she may continue to entertain us with her antics, while meanwhile, our email inboxes pile up with this sort of unsolicited racist trash.

    Or Kill Me.

11
Apple Talk / An Intimate History of the Home with Lucy Worsley
« on: January 02, 2012, 05:40:00 am »
I love Lucy Worsley! She's adorable. You can watch her entertaining and informative series on the development of the home throughout Western history as divided into four rooms - the living room, bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIrHgg4Ar0A. The timeline runs from about Medieval period to the 1950s.

I learned a lot about the past and it confirmed my belief that Tudors are smelly.

12
Or Kill Me / Today's Small Incidence of Peevishness
« on: December 24, 2011, 08:03:44 am »
I was idly leafing through "Food and Wine" magazine today, when I was surprised to find that it made me angry. I was surprised.

Now, I like food. I like fancy food. I too have been caught up in unwise entertaining-related flights of fancy - anxious dinner parties, a feverish desire to bake the finest scones. But as I read through the publication, I immediately understood the reason behind my reaction: The whole thing is perverse. It's not about food. It's about selling a fantasy world in which you impress your social circle with your gastronomic sophistication, purchased authenticity, and packaged warmth. It's hospitality porn.

In recent years there has been a trend for things that once were shameful signs of poverty and pronvinciality, in ironic inversion, to become luxury commodities for the typically white, privileged and middle aged .  It's like hundreds of Marie Antoinettes, playing farm girl: it abounds with articles about with "wildcrafting" (a glitzy term for foraging), wood burning ovens, heirloom vegetables, and converted farmhouses. People practically compete with each other in shows idealized rusticity: I can just imagine someone rattling off to his friends about the vintage organic lemon press made from some Tuscan grandmother's peg leg hanging on the wall, while they nod, enraptured, over their glasses of wine. Isn't unfair that you can't buy an impoverished Ecuadorian family? That would really spruce up the patio.






13
Apple Talk / The Salton Sea
« on: March 26, 2011, 07:52:44 pm »
I'm reading about the Salton Sea for a report for school, and my word this place is AMAZING. If Tucson is Eris' Holy City, then the Sea must be her Unholy Bathtub.

It has beaches made entirely of decomposing fish bones, and loathsome sludge-like water that glows at night with the light of bioluminescent bacteria. The pollution is atrocious, and the only fish that can tolerate the high salinity are tilapia, which aren't safe to eat on account of being filled with botulism. And that's not to mention the urban decay.

The kicker is that when the sea dries up and becomes merely a gigantic toxic lake bed, poisonous dust laden with selenium from agricultural pollution will be picked up by the desert wind and will degrade the air quality for miles and miles around.

It all sounds lovely, doesn't it?

14
Discordian Recipes / Some Nice Things To Bake
« on: March 08, 2011, 08:31:35 am »
I consider myself a mediocre baker, yet have a terrible need to heap baked goods upon friends, strangers, and acquaintances. This sometimes causes me existential angst.

Therefore, I would be more than glad if you could share with me your simple yet tasty cakes, cookies, pies, and pastry recipes. I say simple because while I know how to sift, fold, and whip, I'm not as confident in my baking abilities as cooking. Baking has always struck me as something very precise and scientific, the algebra of the culinary world, and I was never good at math in school anyway.

The most challenging thing for me is getting the correct degree of doneness in my baked goods . You see, my oven is electric, and I faintly recall that electric ovens (maybe it's only the newer models) have mechanisms that self-correct the temperature. But I have noticed that my oven is a finicky finicky creature, and I really ought to check if the temperature is off. Sometimes turn out done in half the time the recipe suggests. Other times it's spot-on. Hm.

So I'd be happy if you'd have any generally handy tips too.

Thanks!


15
Bring and Brag / Little Red Riding Hood, as told by Nast
« on: December 17, 2010, 07:57:57 am »
Little Red Riding Hood was walking down the forest path to deliver her basket full of homemade preserves to Jesus Christ, who was sick in bed with a case of the snuffles. She was sure her gesture would make him feel much better, as she had made sure to bring twice the amount of apricot flavor this time. Jesus liked apricot flavor the best.

Her mother had warned her not to go into the forest and to simply walk around it, but that would have taken all day and besides, what did her mother know? She just sat around all day collecting unemployment. Little Red Riding Hood knew that when she grew up, she would be clever and become a scientist, instead of having four kids and eating directly out of the box of Cheerios every night for dinner, because she just didn’t care anymore.

Little Red Riding Hood felt very clever taking the shortcut through the forest, and wasn’t even afraid of the wolves that were rumored to lurk there.

Meanwhile, hiding behind a tree there was in fact a wolf, and he was very hungry.

“Hello,” said the wolf to Little Red.
“Hello,” she replied. “If you’re trying to sell me something, I’m not interested.”
“Oh not at all, I was just wondering where you were going.”

Now, Little Red Riding Hood was not a stupid girl per se; she knew for example that one should not under any circumstances let one's guard down around salespeople, but she was still young and didn’t know that wolves weren’t to be talked to either. So she made the foolish mistake of telling the wolf where she was going.

“I’m going to see Jesus, and bring him these homemade preserves as he has a case of the snuffles.”

“Oh how nice of you. You know, here I was thinking that no one cans nowadays, but it’s nice to see someone keeping up the practice. Does Jesus live very far away? I thought he was supposed to live in heaven, or Texas.”

“Oh no,” Little Red replied, “He lives just up the path in a bungalow.
“Well then, since it’s such a nice day out and I could sure use a constitutional, how about I join you?”
“That sounds lovely!” exclaimed Little Red, and they began to walk together.

When they walked a little and reached Jesus' bungalow, they knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Jesus said, "I"m afraid I'm in such a weak condition, you'll have to mind the door yourself."

So they opened the door and walked in. There was a terrible lot of retro wallpaper; Jesus was always into the kitsch. He sat in bed with a nightcap and spectacles, doing a crossword puzzle and snuffling a bit.

"Hello my children, it's so nice to see you! I was feeling so dreary with this cold."
"Well", said Little Red, opening the basket, "I happened to bring you some homemade preserves to make you feel better. There's even extra apricot flavor, I know that's your favorite."
"Oh, what a darling thing to do! Let's enjoy them together."

So they all happily ate the preserves, even the wolf, and he was no longer hungry.

Just then however, a tall and burly lumberjill burst through the door. To everyone's horror, she swung her axe with her large forearms and disemboweled the poor wolf.

"Aha, you cursed beast! No longer shall you terrify little old grannies!" she bellowed. She looked inside the wolf's stomach cavity, but to her slight dismay there were no little old grannies to be found.

"Now why did you go and do that?" ask Little Red, indignantly. "He was quite the gentleman."

"But I thought he had eaten your grandmother, and you were going to be next!" replied the lumberjill.

"Oh no," said Jesus. "All that's just a sexual metaphor."

And so they pondered this.

THE END






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