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Topics - Cainad (dec.)

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Apple Talk / ITT: I am drunk
« on: March 11, 2017, 03:44:14 am »
Don't ask me shit

fukc you

Aneristic Illusions / November 2016: Hail Discordia
« on: November 09, 2016, 11:55:27 am »
Oh, frabjous day!
Holy Strife has come to play.

Blood-stained goddess and hidden dagger,
One fucked-up forum's peals of disgusted laughter

Welcome back to 2000, Pee Dee Dot Com. It's like we never left, but it's bigger, meaner, and uglier than ever.

Apple Talk / On Cheap Massages and Inevitabilities, Or: Why I Am A Dumbass
« on: September 02, 2016, 07:10:40 pm »
I could have posted this in Open Bar, but it falls into a level of sordid and inane human experience that I think warrants being cordoned off in its own thread. Not everyone wants to see the icky bits of some jackasses' life story. But this is PD, and some of you freaks revel in that shit, so here we are.

Allow me to frame the scene: there is a massage parlor in a town I used to live in, and I visited it on occasion. I have made regular exercise a part of my life and it seemed like a fair idea to get my stringy muscles tenderized every month or so, if only so that when the aliens from space come to eat us I will be all the more tender and delicious. I'm considerate like that.

Now, this particular massage parlor is staffed, as far as I can tell, entirely by ladies of Asian descent. The sign out front has one of those diagrams of feet with inexplicable pictures of organs on the sole. The more worldly among you will have already deduced what I am getting at here, based on the thread title and the scene I have just described. For those in the back, I will briefly explain: these businesses, usually dubbed "Chinese massage parlors," are somewhat notorious for providing services that can only loosely be described as "massage."

"Jack shacks" would be the more gauche way to describe it.

But I will HAVE YOU KNOW, dear readers, that I am a gentleman of the highest order and that my intentions were pure as the driven snow. My fucking neck hurts sometimes and I like having it kneaded like a French bread every so often, alright? I visited this establishment a half-dozen times while I lived in the area, and I found the services provided to be of good quality, and none of that funny business, in case I haven't made that perfectly clear. Masseurs and masseuses are trained professionals and associating them with jobs that fall outside their scope of work is unseemly and poor behavior. Also, this place was cheap, like really cheap. Very attractive to my wage-earning wallet. I paid for an hour or half-hour of massage as my time allowed, tipped generously (because really, no way the employees are bringing home enough based on that hourly rate), and said "thank you" in Chinese because I am polite and it seemed to amuse the nice ladies.

Fast forward, about three months later. I live very far away from this place now, but it just so happened that it was on my way back from a job site on this particular day. How fortuitous, I thought, because I had tweaked my upper back the night before, and was generally sore from a recent return to regular exercise after a hiatus. Additionally, I was running on about 3 hours of sleep and had woken up at an ungodly hour to drive for 2 hours to the job site. Laying still in a quiet, dark room while my muscles were plucked, stretched, and rubbed down with hot stones seemed like a heavenly idea.

First I lay on my stomach, and my back was worked on as it had been several time before. No surprises, and the hot rocks were especially welcome this time. Seriously, you should try it if you haven't before.

Then I flipped on to my back. Each masseuse seems to approach this phase a little differently, so I was ready for whatever. Or so I thought.

I should have clued in the moment my chest and stomach were caressed, rather than rubbed down. I am a bit ticklish and was focused on keeping my cool, however. Let the professional work, I say. Then work began on my thighs.

It happened so fast, I barely understood what was going on. That of course is not really true: I knew immediately what was going on, but it was quite sudden and my senses overloaded. My life up to this point had not prepared me for this situation. I couldn't think straight, and since I had been more or less holding still the whole time it seemed only natural to continue holding still.

And then it was over, just about as fast as it started. Faster than I would have thought possible, if I'm completely honest. So quickly that I thought, absurdly in my mental haze, that there didn't seem to be much point. Then the massage was completed as normal, I paid the tip, and said "thank you" in Chinese as always, and left.

All I can really think of, some time later, is that I really wish that time had been spent on my pectorals. They're still damn sore.

Propaganda Depository / Found an old project
« on: March 29, 2016, 03:56:53 am »
Let me know if the attachment doesn't work. This is an incomplete draft of the second Intermittens issue I tried to make, but never finished to my satisfaction. I don't remember exactly when this was made, I think about 2011-ish.

Apple Talk / The Food Surgeon
« on: March 08, 2016, 12:28:20 am »
what the hell is this

I love it. I must see more.

« on: December 16, 2015, 07:03:05 pm »
I just accidentally hit "Mark All Read"



Discordian Recipes / I'm roasting a chicken RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKS
« on: December 02, 2015, 05:21:06 am »

Apple Talk / Old Finnish People With Things On Their Heads
« on: October 29, 2015, 01:59:13 am »
I saw this on the internets and I decided to bring it to the experts here at PeeDee.

Why, Finland?

Apple Talk / Luxury Doomsday Shelters
« on: October 12, 2015, 03:57:25 pm »

Put 'em all in one place for easy pickin's after we all turn into Morlocks. Good plan!

Apple Talk / TIMECUBE.COM is fucking DOWN
« on: August 31, 2015, 02:20:05 pm »
 :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:

I just placed a bid for the domain name, but I am not exactly hopeful.

Also, today I learned that is blocked by my usually pretty open workplace filter as "Cult/Occult"  :lulz:

Apple Talk / A Most Glorious Troll
« on: August 18, 2015, 01:06:12 am »

For 27 years it's been up there on the flat roof of Mark Gubin's building in the flight path of Mitchell International Airport. A sign painted in letters 6 feet tall tells people arriving here by air: "WELCOME TO CLEVELAND."

"There's not a real purpose for having this here except madness, which I tend to be pretty good at," Gubin said Tuesday when I stopped at his place in Bay View to see the sign.

The sign is in Milwaukee :lulz:

Aneristic Illusions / Political stickers we can all get behind
« on: March 26, 2015, 02:21:50 am »
(blatantly stolen from tumblr)

« on: February 05, 2015, 01:55:04 pm »


Yeah, I'm reposting, what's your problem?

Literate Chaotic / Don't Break The Chain
« on: January 30, 2015, 04:32:23 am »
So I recently learned that there's this thing called "Don't Break The Chain"

I ignored most of the details but the gist of it is that you make one tiny little bit of creativity every day, and try to not miss a day.

This bit of creativity can be anything, but obviously an Internet forum is best suited to writing. And whatever you make can be really, really small. If you're writing, it can be a sentence. It doesn't have to be good in the slightest, or related to whatever you made the previous day.

I'd like people to start using this thread to post the Links in their Chain, as it were. If something causes inspiration and you'd like to expand on something, make a new topic and link back to the post in this thread.

Apple Talk / Big Government is bad! Government overreach is bad!
« on: December 04, 2014, 12:37:17 pm »
Except for the guys who can actually bust into your house and/or kill you if they have a good enough story for the judge and jury.

I'm going to try re-framing the discussion about police brutality by referring to cops as the government. Because, you know, they are.

Since government is terrible and badwrong about everything, this should provide "interesting discussion" on the center of reasonable discussion that is Facebook.

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