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Topics - Zł

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Apple Talk / Skateboarding
« on: April 09, 2010, 09:31:54 am »

Animal Chin, in addition to being an excellent film, is where I suggest you begin your journey.
All true skaters, are seekers of Animal Chin

Aneristic Illusions / Nerds? Not in my jail!
« on: March 01, 2010, 03:18:04 pm »
Dungeons & Dragons Prison Ban Upheld
Quote from: NY Times
Prison officials said they had banned the game at the recommendation of the prison’s specialist on gangs, who said it could lead to gang behavior and fantasies about escape.

Apple Talk / pittsburgh lulz
« on: September 25, 2009, 11:48:10 am »
So. I'm perusing youtube videos of the Pittsburgh G-20 protests. I'll link to the more lulzy ones.

Brian Todd gets teargassed
Vague shot of crust-punks maybe being beaten? I dont know.
OMG! (hilarious commentary)
kid gets disappeared
This is probably one of the best arrest videos I've ever seen, but the problem is you dont have a clear shot of the kid before it happens. Not surprising considering the speed of the whole thing, the person filming had to book it to get it at all.


Quote from:

Probably due to a typographical error at the White House, the G-20 summit is being held in Pittsburgh September 24-25, 2009. During that time, Pittsburgh is being beset by a horrible rampaging mob that is causing chaos. There are be protesters, too.

So far, not as lulzy as the G8 summit in Seattle, or the global scientology protests.

Or Kill Me / My current state of optimism
« on: April 08, 2008, 10:10:02 am »
Thou Shalt Not Hesitate

The lesser part of my soul is smoke and mirrors, that which occupies my body and performs but the most mundane tasks, that which pays my rent and bills, that which appeases my girlfriend without passion (firstly), also appeases myself and the renter (and my boss, and and bill collector) secondly. The greater part of my soul exists despite this, in defiance of my own conscious, acting against my will in direct defiance... urging me towards acts of self destruction, which the lesser part excuses as acts of passion, though I know no passion remains. What is my body now but an empty shell, that I shall destroy at my own leisure? I am completely content in this interpretation of it. That dreams be nothing but useless reminder of a memory, of what I once called a soul.

The future? My future is debt, something once I resisted to the very detriment of my being, broken bones go unfixed, a broken education to be mended through wikipedia, a broken soul to be mended through what? Eris? Chaos, at the very core of my being, earning me what? Street Cred? Not if you dont say it, not if you dont learn the Boast. Valuable life lessons learned, but I still dont CARE. Who is going to make me give a fuck? A difficult burden to place on the most ancient muses, not Calliope, but perhaps Melpomene... however, I still intend to manifest my own destiny. So the question remains; What do I want? I still dont know.

I find comfort in a few things in life, and willingly dedicate myself to these things. Entropy. Hopelessness, Death, and Decay. This is not to sound mall-goth, I just find comfort knowing that the wasted efforts of my life will someday be recycled energy. Knowing that this cycle does not end with me, and that perhaps humanity should not feel so self righteous about possessing consciousness itself. Bleak winters, hard times, a troubled past... this is a legacy to be proud of, and pain itself is a valuable experience. Experience itself, its valuable... no matter what; All manner of so called negative feelings are to be cherished, because at the very least we are experiencing, though some feelings perhaps justify the thought that I would rather not experience at all.

Though, In my case, I would.

I want all the pain life has to offer.

Or Kill Me / Macrodrivel
« on: December 24, 2005, 09:40:41 am »
Barriers that exist between human beings are the barriers of perception, where one person begins and another person end can be ambigious outside the immediate perception of the self. To fall back on solipsism is to insist that nothing outside of the immediate existence of the self can be proven, Cogito Ergo Sum, words immediately excorsized by the reality of personal violence, pain, and inhumanity. In other words, if only the self exists, the self must be a nihilist, otherwise it might not work so hard to provide itself with the means of its own self destruction. In other words, it can be assumed that there is a reality to the existence of others, as demonstrated by their influence on us in our every day lives, either intentionally or by simple circumstance.

" That which is above is like that which is below and that which is below is like that which is above" - Some Asshole

The human species now widely populates nearly the entire earth, with the exception of antartica, we find a way to support ourselves and survive in one form or another on every single continent of the planet. We consume resources on a massive scale, and expand essentially at an exponential rate, we are continuing to grow larger as a species. Communication also draws us closer. Consider for a moment the impact of power, electricity, mass transit systems, sattelites orbiting the earth bouncing radio and microwave frequencies from one spot to another virtually instantaneously. Consider the importance of something like the internet, not to mention the fact that our communications systems grow more complex and more intermingled with every moment that we continue to grow and expand as a species, the basic idea here is that the next form of evolution is not a physical evolution. Not strange to imagine, considering that human beings havent really evolved physically ever since we first began to function as hunters/gatherers, but rather every form of human evolution has been abstract (the agricultural revolution, the industrial revolution, the technological evolution.) These basic ideas have been floating around for a long time. The entire cyberpunk literary movement has been packaged and sealed for pop-culture consumption, these things are now safe for us to think about. Lets move on.

In the prior paragraph, I began to touch on ideas that were first introduced to me by An Ecology of Man by SPR Charter. The book itself is a series of essays, each of which touches on a facet of a broader concept. Some of the major points I want to bring up here are as follows: the human species is expanding exponentially similar to a bacteria or a virus largely due to our ability to rapidly adapt to new environments and our lack of natural predators; like bacteria we have needs and consume resources in order to survive and to support ourselves; anything that expands exponentially such as a bacteria will continue to do so until it eventually exhausts one of its natural resources at which point it suffers cataclysm and is either completely eradicated, or else its reduced to a state where it essentially has to start over (thusly giving those resources time to replenish, if possible.) Charter does a much better job of breaking all of this down, our natural resources, their approximate availability, and pretty much every aspect of this topic one by one. Regurgitation of old ideas that not everybody is necessarily aware of. Next!

To rip on another idea. Schr??dingers Cat by Robert Anton Wilson (save your jeers, I take the guy probably about as serious as any hardened skeptic.) Well, simply put, the biggest thing that I got out of this book was one thing... as the technology curve continues to advance, and human population does the same, it is entirely within the grasp of small groups of people or even an individual to gain access to technology (if technology continues to advance, we can infer that the possibility of weapons or tools of warfare become more accessable and more devastating) it becomes a simple matter of time before the ability to cause global cataclysm is easily accessible to just some asshole. Nikolas Tesla claimed that he could probably destroy the world if he wanted to, and somehow he probably wasnt lying. Scary thought. This is what I see as being one possible outcome of our chosen path, being mechanization, communication, and education.

All of a sudden, I can understand the motivation behind seemingly idiotic policies like 'No Child Left Behind', although I dont agree with the spirit of dumbing down the public out of fear. To me, these sort of things stink of classism, and there are a lot of things in current events that lead me to think in this direction. Taxation, obviously, means a hell of a lot more to the poor than it does to the wealthy (even when you figure that percentage wise, the rich may pay greater taxes than the poor) based on the fact that the money gap is staggeringly huge. To have millions of dollars in liquid assets at your command would mean that to you, a few hundred thousand, can be sacrificed easily in order to achieve your aims. A good example of that are the cases where large corporations can commit various types of violations, environmental ones being the first that come to mind, simply because the massive fines still manage to fit within the profit margins. Immediately consider what those hundreds of thousands of dollars would mean to an entire community in the ghetto. When you are willing to look at the world honestly, you will come to realize, that it is naturally predatory. Even if somebody who is born poor can crawl tooth and nail up the sliding scale of this system, the simple fact is that they will probably never be in a position to help anybody but themselves, because acquiring those means is staggeringly difficult. Even if they could, they probably wouldnt, that kind of ascension requires one to begin thinking critically of every decision, and the world has a way of making people cut-throat and dishonest. Have you ever answered honestly on a personality test set in place by a corporation for some miserable job you wanted to get? Did you get the job?

Out of politics again for a second. Human conciousness is evolving. Think of the human brain as being a large collection of individual cells held together by synapses communicating back and forth to each other across synapses via electrochemical signals. Think of each individual human being, from all walks of life, living and communicating to each other daily. Think of the internet, one cell from halfway across the world can send an impulse that is recieved by another cell millions of miles away. Think of the rise of computerization and communication, billions of human beings forming a network of communication that is globablly accessible by different types of cells. Think of television, literature, and music, one single message communicated to a mass group of cells. Sure, there might not be a self-aware macro-concsiousness yet, but the way things going I think there is good money that there eventually will be (assuming, of course, that certain factors are met.) This is my agenda, I am pro-evolution. (incidentally, I'm listening to Bobby Digital right now, and I think its very cool that the Rza just sampled Portishead. )

Ok. So I've established my vision of a human macro-consciousness, again not a very new idea, I'm not very well read on my C.G. Jung but I'm pretty sure I'm beginning to approach his vision of collective consciousness. This too is also a huge part of Meme-Theory. Words and ideas as viruses, the path of fads as they spread from place to place, human beings can easily be seen as individual cells of a larger organism from this standpoint. Blood cells deliver oxygen from place to place, brain cells generate electro chemical signals that perform and control a large variety of functions, etc etc. I dont want to get too heavy into human biology, its not exactly my thing, but the metaphor can be stretched out a lot more. To put it simple, it is my belief that the human species is essentially in a foetal state, and whatever organism it is that we happen to be is a little to large and abstract for a human being to easily fathom.

So from here, I find myself wanting to get back into 'conspiracy theory' a little bit. I realize that from a political standpoint, my ideas might seem radical, but the truth of it is I only have a passing interest in politics. In other words, I care enough about politics only in terms of how it begins to approach my general interest in the proliferation and evolution of the human species. In other words, I dont want us die. As we expand exponentially, we consume resources more rapidly and these resources are subject to an increased demand, and as it happens to stand right now natural gasses, fossil fuels, and crude oil form the backbone of a lot of our military, industrial, and technological systems. This is something that causes global tension, in terms of those resources, and we see world superpowers competing openly over control of these things. This of course, is not the end all be-all, it just happens to be a place and time where we are right now. New world superpowers are forming (the E.U. is a good example, and I've heard rumors of a South American Union not being too far off, but we'll just have to wait and see how that one plays out.) Also, the cold war never really ended. If you think about it, the cold war was a term we invented for the tension between the United States and the former USSR, but that type of tension is not something thats merely limited to two countries and its been ever present in our history, and becomes even more so as the world becomes smaller.

To put that whole section of the rant simple, as the world gets smaller and the technological curve continues to rise, we witness a general rise in global tension.

The next couple centuries are going to be rough, but I dont think we can unlearn anything that we have learned, and we are going to go through some hard times. Global warming is the next issue on my itinerary. Given the current pace, scientists expact that within a hundred years the polar ice caps will be at a point where they will completely melt during the summer months. As to how this will effect the world, and our ecology, on a global scale... we can only conjecture. I have enough faith in the human species that we will be able to survive that particular environmental change, but the earth is something that doesnt stay the same. This is playing havoc on a lot of things, tsunamis and hurricanes are becoming more and more common, and of course the water level of the worlds oceans is probably going to rise substantially. We can pack tight in together, and live in smaller spaces, because humans are pretty good at that sort of thing. We have megalopolises already, but a lot of coastal cities are in for some major stress over the next fifty years or so. The other thing is that this is already playing havoc with the Gulf Stream, so England and Europe are probably going to get a lot colder (more representitive of their location in relation to the earths equator.)

I guess you could say that we still have natural predators. There is the earths climate itself, there is disease, poverty, and famine, and there is also the human factor. Our own technology holds the possibility to undo us, and if that happens, we'll never be able to evolve.

You might be able to tell that I'm starting to wind down a bit, I'm approaching a point where I'm not even sure whats best for us as a whole species. I think its necessary for us as a whole to begin to think globally in order to survive, and I think its necessary that we provide education and high quality of living in order to expand (first within our own individual societies, and then globally, evolution is contagious.) The sad part about this, is that there enough ignorant people in the world to screw up any and all efforts we have of being progressive, especially when a large majority of people within our own society screw it up even more by villifying progressive thought. Warmongering and rabid nationalism are the trends of the day, and there is little that can be done on an individual level to change any of that.

When you get right down to it, there is nothing that I can do physically to have a substantially positive change on the world as a whole, all I can do is reach out to the people close to me and try and do some good there. And all this do-gooding is kind of difficult to do, especially when we live in a predatory society where even taking care of yourself and making sure you dont get completely fucked over is a full time job. Add to those factors the fact that I am inherantly human, and therefore probably just as stupid and ignorant as a lot of other fools in this world, all of this self righteous rambling doesnt do a god damned thing to change the fact that I make, and have made, some seriously stupid mistakes in my lifetime.

Oh well. We'll just wait and see how everything turns out. Personally, all I want to really do is sit on the sidelines in a lawn-chair with a beer in my hand. If everything turns out well, I'll be happy, and if not... I wont be surprised, but at least I will be entertained.

Good luck, and good night.

Apple Talk / Metal
« on: November 16, 2005, 03:24:51 am »
Because this deserves its own threads. I will post a long list of bands that I like, and maybe some short comments on them, and other people will post things, and we will all be happy and respect each other and eat flowers BECAUSE I AM A GIANT BUG AND LIKE TO EAT FLOWERS!!!

Monstrosity (floridian, george "corpsegrinder" fischers first band)
Hate Eternal (floridian, the notable Erik Ruttan on vocals/guitar)
Morbid Angel (floridian, Trey Azagthoth might be my favorite solo-ist ever, as he signed my birth certificate)
Sinister (from Texas I think, not very good, but their version of To Megatherion is my favorite)
Carcass  (U.K. , may have invented grindcore, lead singer didnt actually want to write meaningful lyrics so he purchased a medical thesaraus. This lead to album names like Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious. Their old stuff is more grindy/thrashy, the new stuff more rocky. Key members later on join swedish Arch Enemy)
Slayer (because Reign in Blood is a good album)
Metallica (Master of Puppets and Ride the Lightning ONLY)
At the Gates (swedish, later ripped off by the entire american hardcore scene)
Gates of Ishtar (melodic thrash, swedish)
Gorguts (begins as straight death metal band, later becomes extremely jazz influenced and weird. 'Obscura' may just be my favorite metal album ever. This band once had two guys named 'Steve' and one guy named 'STEEVE'.)
Eyehategod (classic sludge metal, probably abused heroin)
Iron Monkey (UK, classic sludge metal, probably abused heroin. Album covers feature the art of MIKE DIANA ( )
EARTH (weird noisey drone group, tribute to black sabbath with Ioma had a fucked up hand and tuned to a LOW E. Later inspired SUNN 0))) )
Sunn 0 ))) (nuff said)
Khanate (another stephen o'malley joint, actually has riffs and lyrics, but songs are about fifteen to twenty minutes long. good music to listen to while you snort ground up crows beak in a hot windowless room. )
Anal Cunt (mediocre grindcore, funny song titles)
Anal Blast (OK grindcore, funny song titles)
Cephalic Carnage (really weird jazz influenced grindcore, band smokes way too much pot)
Scholomance (hard to classify, death metal based, probably never played live due to fact that the band has WAY too many instruments)
Hypocrisy (classic swedish metal band, hard to classify, starts out as bad black metal but becomes what I would describe as atmospheric death metal on the fringe of doom metal. Obsessed with alien abduction. Really good band up until they break up and reform. I suggest The Final Chapter as a good starting place)'
Zaraza (weird canadian/polish industrial metal band, puts most of their songs on the net for free. )
Sigh (japanese thrash metal... nuff said)
Unholy Grave (OK japanese grindcore)
Spazz (LEGENDARY punk/grindcore/power-violence unit from East Bay.)
His Hero is Gone (somewhere in between the screamo/powerviolence scene, and the metal/grindcore scene. Not bad)
The Locust (yeah. )
Orchid (Chaos Is Me = classic. Everything else = teh Suck)
Thus Spake Zarathustra (more screamo/powerviolence)
Zahn (german screamo/powerviolence, happens to be my last name as well. Strange coincidence.)
Agalloch (very interesting mix of metal and classical guitar, kind of like really slow opeth)
Opeth (what might be the single most talented band in all of metal, musically speaking, kind of like what dream-theater would sound like if they actually wrote decent music.)
Skepticism (Funeral Doom, Finnish, HEAVY pipe organs)
Thergothon (Funeral Doom, Finnish, very very low vocals. For lack of a better description, it sounds like H.P. Lovecraft.)
Unholy (Doom, Finnish, this band sounds like they were heavily influenced by pink floyd... which actually comes out sounding kind of cool.)
Shape of Despair (funeral doom, unsure of nationality, very melodic and entrancing.)

Thats all for now, my fingers hurt, I have a novel to write, and I'm off to watch YOJIMBO.

Literate Chaotic / The Second Grand Constitution and Bylaws
« on: April 30, 2005, 03:02:38 am »
I'm transcribing this from the liner notes for Second Grand Constitution and Bylaws by the Secret Chiefs 3,

I know that at least Horab is going to appreciate this shit.

Call us old-fashioned, but whenever we self-righteously draw our pagan bow-strings back, our arrows are aimed at Beauty and Truth. We usually miss. But we try to make sure those ill-shot arrows hit ground somewhere near the region of Entertainment!

It is an invisible part of man that sees the invisible world.

Once you are familiar with Book T (having remained unmoved by the spectre of Death) you may pass through the "Source of Life" at the psycho-cosmic center (Qaf). Here you will gain access to the Hurqalyan World, or "Eigth Climate". We hope you will try to keep some material evidence of your sojourn, because it is impossible to mark out a path which leads from the traditional seven climates to the "Eighth Climate" and your tracks will certainly be obliterated.

Et moriendo docebo!

The "descent" of eternal Forms onto the terrestrial Earth must be rightly understood. There is no "material incarnation" but, rather, the silhouette, the Image, the shadow of the soul is projected into the world of the temporal, where the Image is epiphanized. In a sense the Forms have been entrusted to a "tomb" (our terrestrial Earth) which is situated at teh endpoint of the hierarchy of universes, and it is from this "tomb" that they must be resurrected. It is the Image of the Form which is reflected as it's coincidentia oppisitotum in the mirror of the senses. This additionaly means that what we call "physical" is but the reflection of the world of the Soul. To see things as they are in the Earth of Hurqalya, that is to say seperated from the sensory mirror in which it is reflected, requires the "eye of the world beyond" (Chashm-i Barzakhi) which is itself an organ of the Soul. In other words, "the Earth of Hurqalya represents the Earth in it's absolute state, absolved from any 'empirical' appearance evidenced by the senses. and yet it is the real appirition restored only by the "barzakhi eye". We hope that we are effectively clarifying that physics itself is an essentially a psycho-spiritual activity, and that you will therefore find the "meta"-physics of this "body of ressurection" more and more meaningful.

Any mere description is a flake of snow held up to the Hurqalyan Flame - a flame with ultimately resides in the heart. We can tell you that exhaustive training in harmonic perception (the percieving of an identical sound, verse or thingon several levels simultaneously - see Ta'wil) will help attune you to the special modes or frequences known only to those posessing the Hurqalyan Ear. But listen... ...can you not at this very moment hear a faint echo of the strange and enchanted music of Na Koja Abad?

It is a dilemma of rationalism to be restricted to a choice between two terms of banal dualism: matter OR
spirit, history OR[/i] myth. It is a dilemma of UFO "believers" to be subjected to Relentlessly Brutal Ass-Rapes by Hollywood's grey-ing shithole before plugging-up their own asses with "government documents". Of course, all these pre-school level disinformation games make the still-uncovered REAL story a mirage (Miraj) all the more tantalizing to our X-Files-Obsessed "believers" (who are literally everywhere). We wish them no ill-luck... But we do maintain that an imminent Fake Contact will eventually be brought to this world by the collective and multi-nationally-sponsored Nigredo of "Our Own Stupidity", and a subsequently "Merged Church and State/New World Order" type of bullshit universe will have to be considered just desserts for thsese dopey 'X' and 'neXt' generations...

If you have rationally established communication with the Imam of your own being[/b], instead of irrationally placing your faith in the decaying part of existence, you shall not be forced like others to behold the disintigration of that which you have termed "yourself", because you will have gradually perfected what is known as your Ressurection Body[/b]. (The Twelfth Key of the Royal Art will give access to the Permanent Garden. However, the entrance is heavily bolted and the key is buried where the winds, the manslaughter, the reflection and the ruin of men are found together.)

The Princes of This World would have you believe that Tenderness and Kindness are signs of weakness and despair, rather than manifestations of strength and resolution. For this reason, the boundary line of our warm-and-fuzzy compassion is drawn at their necks... and waits to be filled in by the Inkpen of our Scimitars!!!!

Homily to Smarty-Pants
Truth that needs proof is only half-truth
     and no, History does NOT repeat itself
          outside the minds of those who do not know history!!!!!


Our celebration continues! Our revelry is an "Expectation of Joy" at the Appearance of the Imam of the Qiyamat! But unlike other religous fanatics, the Gucci Buddhists, or the ever-present passive/aggressive hippy milquetoast militia, we will TAKE NO SHIT from ANYONE!

Sure, the dull and ignorant will always end up admiring heartless dickheads like Napoleon, Ghengis Khan, Julius Ceasar etc... but while the Tyrant was busy conjuring sweet wine from sour grapes, we were secretly auto-cannibalizing raw angel flesh and using it to reanimate the corpses of long-dead pagan gods, who were then obliged to forcefully buttfuck this malignant "man of the world" into bloody remission. Hey, he wrote his own PRISON SENTENCE. We're just helping him "get to know himself". Besides, we live in a Museum Without Walls. We don't have to explain a Goddamned Thing!

Truth can be found in the flowering of symbols, but unfortunately the rational intellect fails to penetrate this area when it believes in "explaining" everything to itself. How it renders everything superfluous!!

The "below" of the barzakh actually begins at the boundary of the emerald rock (Qaf, the celestial pole and mystical Sinai, the axis mundi and "still point of the turning world") where it simultaneously limits and conjoins Time and Eternity, the immaterial and the sensory, Space and Infinity.

Who comes from Beyond the Mountain of Qaf? "It was there that you were yourself at the beginning, and it is there that you will return... no matter how far you go it is at the point of departure that you arrive there again." It is a self in the "second person" that you find there, a superior self "from beyond the mountain Qaf." "When he emerges from the Spring (haqiqat), he has achieved the Aptitude that makes him like a balm, a drop of dew which you distill in the hollow of your hand by holding it facing the sun, and which then passes through to the back of your hand. If you are Khezr, you also may pass without difficulty through the mountain of Qaf."

Lest we be accused of a Mamby Pamby New Age ecapism, we challenge any hardened Prince of This World to be MAN ENOUGH to face the ordeals symbolized by our "imaginary" Journey in Darkness, and come out of it in any state other than that of a castrated and blubbering simp!

Let it be no secret that the Operations of Alchemy (al-kemi) are known among Shi'ites as the "Wise Men's Mirror". Shaikh Ahmad: "the wise have made a Mirror in which they contemplate all the things of this world, whether it be a concrete reality ('ayn) or a mental reality (ma'na). In this mirror, the resurrection of bodies is seen to be homologous to the resurrection of spirits."

In the Golden Pool (barzakh) of the Rose Garden things above and below are seen as 'inversions' (retrosum) in the mirror-like water made of sunlight of the glistineng aurum aurae. Who can distinguish the sun setting toward it's surface from the sun rising toward it's surface? In this conjunctio, this Miraj, the terrestrial elements of the "Egg/Stone" are merged with those subtle elements which receive their influx from the Heavens of Hurqalya.

The desire to lay the esoteric bare prematurely as an exoteric literalism is doomed to failure. Until Qiyamat, no esotericism can be anything more than a witness, recognized by a small number, ridiculed by all the others, and cannot progress but shrouded in the night of symbols. Surely, the Black Light obscures much, and man's conscience is dislocated, causing the transgression (Black Iron Prison) which has led to the decline in his cognitive powers to the point where he has "forgotten his rememberance". But relax! Time is simply a "delay of Eternity" for such unfortunates. It's their business to read the oracles truthfully, and attempting to "save" or "release" these prisoners usually only extends their delay...

The manifestation of the Hidden Imam (who currently resides in Hurqalya) is not an outward event to be expected, but rather a disoccultation that gradually takes place as the traveler, ascending Qaf towards Hurqalya, brings about the real event of the awaited Imam within himself.

If we, as Hurqalyavis, can see things in the theatrum of suprasensory universes, we will have closed the coffin on this "representative theater" and our only real Work will be to 'part the red sea' between this and the real "Theater of Cruelty".

Or Kill Me / Discordianism = Permanent Sugar High
« on: November 26, 2004, 12:33:03 pm »
As demonstrated daily on these forums.

Or Kill Me / The Frozen Nothing
« on: November 23, 2004, 09:37:17 am »
We are outside the inside of the proverbial box, and inside the outside of the proverbial box. The danger of the trend of individuality is that it becomes a trend, and insomuch, is also a parody of itself. Like the initial "great snubbing", this is the prank that is played on those who come to learn of the prank and try to emulate it. It is my belief that the underlying principle of our order (yes) is individuality, and the internal trappings of our order (yes) the fnord. Set us free, and we will gladly leap from one bondage into the other... because the light hurts your eyes, you'll gladly remain in platos cave.

The lessons that I have learned from Eris are unique to me personally, and while I will share them with you, I may not necessarily share them with you. The lessons you have learned from Eris are unique to you, and while we may share them together, we might not necessarily share them together. We are still learning, you and I, we are not yet truly free... for it is my belief that freedom is entirely subjective.... freedom from what? Freedom from the nine to five office job, freedom from the human condition, freedom from fear, freedom from the law? To be free, there must be a counterpoint, something that you are truly free from, because absolute freedom would mean absolute power, absolute control, nothing outside the self would hold any sway over it (or its environment)...  while this is not necessarily impossible, you and I are probably still human beings who are bound by something outside the self. I've yet to meet anyone who was truly solipsist, to the point where they held absolute sway over all things, at least... I dont think I have.

My lesson is pretty simple. Hate, fear, pain, and all manner of negativity are things that exist. They are necessary, they are out there, and they can be overcome or even embraced. The ultimate decision of what my life is is mine alone, and I even have the choice of surrendering it to the random forces that exist in the universe, but in the end It is my strength of will that forces me to pursue the idealized version of myself that does exist. It is my intention to manifest that.

It amazes me that discordianism has painted such a happy-go-lucky face on Eris, who even in her more benign aspect, has always been harsh.. Remember that the Principia even encourages heresy agaisnt discordianism itself, and there is a reason for this, because if we were even bound by "our" own rules we'd be hypocrites. It is my belief the tone of the principia is a product of the time in which it was written, and the egos of the ones who wrote it, but that its still a valuable tool of learning. Like anything, though, one must beware of its trappings... the written word can rule the reader, and this can be just another form of slavery.

It doesnt matter to me if you're one of those neo-pagan types who believes in Eris in the literal sense, or if you're the type that sees her entirely as metaphor. Either way, a deity is a representation of a concept, mutable to a sense but immutable also. Eris will always be the same goddess that snubbed, the same who walked the fields of troy prolonging the lives of wounded and agonizing soldiers, but she also represents the drive to become better than our fellow man, to be superior, and to overcome. The strife we suffer today is the catalyst that brings change to our lives, or rather, causes us to effect change upon ourselves. She is also that. She is also everything the principia paints her as. I myself do not believe in anything literally, it is all metaphor, but it doesnt really matter. Even if Eris is merely the inner personifcation of a concept that is entirely alien to human thought, she's still a good teacher.

Our pain, our suffering, our hatred, our filth. All of these things exist. We are free to do with them whatever we want, or to put them down and walk away from them.

We are free to do whatever we want with, and to, this world... as well. One discordian will try to tear all the walls down, and another will be building that wall at the other end... but either way, thats a personal decision.

I'm rambling, and have been, because I'm hyper off of caffiene and have a really bad headache, and smell like the donut stop. I dont care, its what I wanted to do, so fuck you if you've got a problem with that.

 "That which does not kill you, makes you stronger."

"... and in the darkness of chaos, they fooled Crom, and took from him the riddle of steel."

"Wolfman has nards."

Literate Chaotic / More Ligotti
« on: October 26, 2004, 08:39:24 am »

The mysteries of a nightmare
or the ill magic of hallucinations
or even the way you are
conditioned to react
to an image of the moon
delivered straight into your eyes -
Why do they hide
what these things really are
and how they operate?
Why do they only answer
in such confused and conflicting terms?

The reason is simple.
Because who knows what might happen
if you could understand
the whining of nightmare-dogs
in your dreams
or the voices in your head
that never tell you
anything you want to hear
not to mention why you feel
a certain way
when images invade your eyes
and intrude upon the brain
that floats in the darkness
inside your head?

What would happen
if you knew what
these things really are
and how they operate -
What would happen to you
as a person who understands
what it means to have a head?

With this knowledge
you certainly might decide
to take your head right off
and just sit quietly in the dark
of your new headlessness.


A tear in the face
it was as if you were dreaming
because they never said a word
and you were hiding
in a place
with no one around
when a tear in the face
and all the things
that came out
put an end to the world
that you always thought you knew.

And as if you were dreaming
a tear in the face
made you awake in a darkness
unlike any you have ever seen.

They could easily tell you
and then say you were dreaming
about a tear in the face
of a world in a mirror
where faces are glass
and are smooth
and are shining
till the glass starts to crack
all the faces are broken
and their scars are the shadows
that you always knew were there.

And as if you were dreaming
a tear in the face
was the last thing
and the worst that you ever saw.

They never will speak
even when you are dreaming
about a tear in the face
of a face that is made
of all the flesh that is grown
like a world in the body
that bursts forth from the darkness
shimmering in the darkness
or quivering for just a moment
in the face of a face
that will always be unknown.

But it was all so much dreaming
you finally see
it was just so much dreaming
you finally know -
a tear in the face
they would have to tell something
about something like that...
about a tear in the face.


A little black box
they can hide
in the darkness
where it can never be found
and opened to you eyes
not because they are kind
or because they are wise
but only because...

A little black box
they can hide
in the darkness
is just the right thing
to keep you forever guessing
what they never would tell you
not that they are really concerned
you ever might find...

That little black box
and take out like toys
what is contained inside
and unearth all their secrets
such as how they deceive you
till the death of your body
and make you believe
that there actually might be
a little black box
that they hide in the darkness.

Or Kill Me / The Usual Bullshit
« on: October 25, 2004, 01:49:19 am »
I was just thinking about it, and I realized that there are a few things that piss me off.

1. The Titties & Beer Mentality. I'd like to include all manner of fart jokes and jock type humor here, and mind you I'm not pulling the PC card, I just make a distinction between "funny" and "not funny". This is coming from a person who is capable laughing at other peoples misery , I laughed all the way through Requiem For A Dream (come to think of it, I can really only laugh at fake/staged misery, not the other kind). Anyway, I feel this addresses all of the fat chicks/beer bong crap that goes on here. Its not that its offensive, its just that its fucking lame.

2. People who type like they are fucking retarded. Seriously, I'm glad that years of drug abuse gave you insight into the inner mysteries of the universe... its too bad you lack the capacity to communicate it to anybody.

3. Self Pity. Y'know, its ok to feel like shit or to be depressed once in a while. I just wouldnt make a habit out of it.

Hey, you know what? Thats pretty much all I've got right now. I feel much better about life, though, getting all that off my chest. Now I'll go back to looking at the rest of the forum and slowly building up my anger again.

Or Kill Me / Dont wake me up before the conjuction.
« on: August 04, 2004, 09:11:08 am »
Oh dear, it seems like we've got quite a conundrum. You see, we are growing exponentially as a species, tell me when exactly are we going to need more oxygen? Maybe we as a species will grow so cancerous that we'll choke out all forms of life on the planet, not just including ourselves. We ourselves, having (apparently) overcome the process of natural selection are at a point where we could increase potentially exponentially.

When you think about it that way, all of the apparent stupidity that our race exhibits is built into our genes specifically for that purpose. Some sort of psychological throwback of the human species to become its own predator. This might explain why, as there are more of us (as a species), we (as a species) invent more creative and convenient ways to murder and enslave each other.

Because make no mistake, the human species is a predatory one.

Now its been said that the human species has the ability to change. We have done this on a massive scale. Consider what the ability of mass communication does to a species. One could argue that it would be correct to refer to all of the human species as being one entity. One could, or one could be nitpicky and start arguing about what "life" is. There is a scientific definition for it, and this hackneyed philosophical road needs not mentioned.

Given all of these hypothetical possibilities, should I as a person be immediately concerned with the state of the human race? Why bother even worrying about it? The key point, and I stress this very much as I can, is that any one of us can drop dead from any random cause at any moment... and that on a geological timescale the life of any species on this planet is the same way.

Live life how you want to live it. Its better than being scared of terrorists and extra-terrestrials.

Any information I am fed is immediately dichotomized, and I see how it is possible to agree with either side depending on the information you are being fed. Remember, kids, even though your just a part of a giant computer, you personally are still capable of error. This is a part of the system on which we run. Also, it is possible for two opposite statements to both be true.

Literate Chaotic / Dave Sim
« on: April 17, 2004, 11:31:42 am »
Anybody familiar with the man? He's the madman/genius behind the Cerberus comics... and he's a very prolific and well spoken misogynist. He writes tons of lengthy articles for anybody who'll publish them (Comics Journal, Etc) but he says a lot of really horrible things about women. Nobody is entirely sure if he's serious or just does this to get a reaction out of people, but it nearly got his comic canceled (cerberus has been going for over twenty years, its a run of 300 issues and he's very near the end of it.)

I'll see what I can link to regarding him.

"It wouldn't be that big a stretch to categorize my writing as Hate Literature against women . . . in this Fascistic Feminist country" - Dave Sim

''If you read 300 issues of 'Superman' or 'Spider-Man,' '' said Sim, ''they don't make sense as a story or a life. When I started 'Cerebus,' uppermost in my mind was the thought that I wanted to produce 300 issues of a comic book series the way I thought it should be done - as one continuous story documenting the ups and downs of a character's life - Dave Sim

I have to say, that I really really like Cerberus and Dave Sim... but I dont agree with him. He's a lot better than Steve Ditko anyway (I'll take a misogynist over an objectivist any day of the week.)

Literate Chaotic / Alan Moore
« on: March 27, 2004, 10:18:13 am »
A famous comic book writer.
Some of his more famous works:

From Hell
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the comic is awesome)
The Watchmen
Swamp Thing (when it was good)

I advice anybody who likes comics to read the Watchmen. By far the single greatest comic I've ever read. By far.

Literate Chaotic / The King In Yellow
« on: March 19, 2004, 07:34:33 am »
This is a must read for lovecraft fans. Robert W. Chambers is one of the authors upon whom the Cthulhu Mythos was based (lovecraft took names and such from him and used them in his own stories.)

Amazingly, I found the full text of The King in Yellow on the internet. Its a collection of short stories (the first few are lovecrafty, the last three are not really).

Here You Go.

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