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Topics - Raz Tech

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Discordian Recipes / So you've had meatloaf...
« on: September 04, 2014, 11:45:53 pm »
But have you ever had...  MEAT MUFFINS?

I didn't realize how gross this looked until i took this picture.

Fortunately it looks slightly less disgusting on a plate.

As an aside, I always thought that meatloaf was, like, the pinnacle of American food.  It is, after all, just a bunch of beef shoved together with some ketchup on top and some chopped veggies if you're feeling adventurous.

As it turns out, meatloaf wasn't really around America much until the 19th century, and other countries do it better than American meatloaf.

Apple Talk / How do I into cinema (there may be spoilers)
« on: July 05, 2014, 03:16:25 am »
I really enjoy movies.  Perhaps it’s my lack of worldliness, my inability to appreciate most static art with the exception of realist paintings of landscapes, or any of the other things that would perhaps make me seem like an intellectual, but movies speak to me.  I wanted to make a forum post where I could discuss certain movies with whoever would listen, in the hopes that they would provide either new movies to watch or some differing opinions on classic movies that I could revisit in a different light.  I figure I’ll kick this off with an opinion of movies that I find somewhat thought provoking, whether that be because of subject matter or interpretation or whatever.  Please share your opinions, and whether they differ from mine, are the same, or are completely off subject, I would love to hear them.

Apple Talk / How to get suckered into a car dealership
« on: June 17, 2014, 01:53:18 am »
Let me preface this by saying that I am unsure of which board to put this in, so if I threw it in the wrong place, could you be so kind as to move it for me?

I returned from a used car dealership a few days ago, where I had a rip-roaring good time and felt inclined to share it with anybody who’s willing to read something this lengthy.
It all started a couple of weeks ago.  I received a voucher in the mail, from a local used Hyundai dealership.  It would seem that they were having a sale in the near future, and I had received a cordial invitation to attend their “inventory surplus clear-out”, which indicated that I could get any kind of used piece of shit Hyundai for prices so good that it was making “National Headlines” (source missing).  Normally I would simply crumple such a thing into a ball and use it to play fetch with my cat, however, before I could, I had already flipped the invitation over.  YOU MAY HAVE WON 30,000 DOLLARS CASH! Was printed on the back, next to a picture of a pile of hundred dollar bills, as well as some inexplicable five dollar bills.  All I had to do was scratch off some crap and see if I had won the grand prize or another denomination of cash.  I didn’t win 30 grand.  I didn’t win 10 grand.  But I did “win” 5 grand.  Interesting, I thought to myself, choosing to ere on the side of cautious optimism.  Used auto salesmen are a shady bunch after all, and if this was the dealer I was thinking of, it was a shady place itself.
The next step, as per the voucher, was to phone in and inform them that I had won their prize.  The lady who answered the phone spoke very slowly, and it was immediately apparent that she was reading from some sort of cue-card set up for this very purpose.  The next thing that was apparent was that she had, at best, a very questionable level of reading comprehension.  After she stumbled through the verification process, followed by an awkward congratulatory statement that sounded as though it was uttered by a very sad dyslexic robot, she informed me that I needed to pick a date and time in which to come in to claim my prize.  I didn’t realize that this would be necessary.  I had wrongly assumed that I would simply bring in my proof of winning, and they would hand me cash.  Now they had me at a disadvantage, where I would have to make a snap decision based on my current projected schedule.  “Wednesday at 5 p.m. I guess” I uttered, immediately regretting my decision.  “Great see you then”, she said and hung up the phone.
I should have gone for the weekend.  That was my first mistake.  There would be more people there on the weekend, which means that I might have been able to skirt around more of the evil used car salesmen, while they were busy attending to other customers, enabling me to sneak in and sneak out with the cash that may or may not exist in hand, unscathed.  Mistake two; I should have waited until after dinner.  The time I had picked would be right when I would start to get hungry, but too early to pick something up before changing from work clothes to normal attire.  This would make me more irritable than normal, and I’m already not a pleasant person to be around if I don’t know or like you already.  Problem 3; I was going to be alone the whole week leading up to this.  My wife and kids were gone on vacation, and I was guarding the homestead, on my own, the entire time they were gone.  This left me entirely too much time to think, to dwell on all the innocents that the evil used car salesmen had sucked dry of their precious money, of all the people I knew who weren’t good enough under pressure to avoid paying near sticker-price for their vehicles.  Oh yes, these bastards were going to pay.  They were going to pay dearly.  If they wouldn’t give me the money straight away, I planned on making them wish that they had.

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