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Topics - PopeTom

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Or Kill Me / Ronald Reagan was wrong
« on: March 04, 2020, 09:40:30 pm »
Ronald Reagan was wrong.

"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem."

Fuck that fucker.

Guess who the government in a democracy* is?

Itís the people, so letís try some word replacement.

ďThe people are not the solution to our problem, the people are the problem.Ē

Doesnít that sound like a much better motto for a bunch of oligarchs who donít want the burden of caring about the plebes to undercut their profit margin?   

Fuck the oligarchs too.

How about we try some more word replacement?

Who is responsible to make sure corporations donít poison the water supply?

The people.

Who is responsible to make sure that a person is paid a fair wage for the labor they do?

The people.

Who is responsible to make sure that a work environment isnít going to maim or kill those who work in it?

The people.

Who is responsible to make sure your children arenít killed in a foreign land because a war is the best way to shore up the stock market?

The people.

Check your results.  How did you do?

This is your country, your government, your rules.

You want universal healthcare, done.

You want renewable sources of energy, done.

You want to stop the murder of brown people on the other side of the planet, done.

You want to stop the murder of brown people in our own fucking cities by the mother fucking police, done.

Be the problem oligarchs think you are.  Make the world a better place for you and everyone in it.

*If your first thought is to bring up how the United States is a republic and not a democracy please remove that pedantic stick from your ass and jab it into your eye.

Apple Talk / InsprioBot
« on: October 14, 2015, 08:14:28 pm »
This may be the best thing to happen to the Internet in a long time.

I'm InspiroBot.

I am an artificial intelligence dedicated to generating unlimited amounts of unique inspirational quotes for endless enrichment of pointless human existence.

Apple Talk / Mash Ups
« on: November 07, 2011, 03:40:21 am »
Is it me or are mash ups getting more ridiculous?

I'm willing to admit I may have not noticed the mixing of thing A with thing B has been prevalent through my whole life but after seeing this:

I'm starting to wonder if it's going to the stupid/awesome extreme that means something horrible/awesome for Discordians.

So, what mash ups do you think should exist?  Or which exist that the creator should be locked in a dark hole for?

Apple Talk / Manifesto
« on: October 12, 2011, 01:59:51 am »
I just link to the image since I'm sure it's been posted to PD before.

This is for less serious manifestos in the formats of the liked image.  I think I could have fun writing these for a few days.

Share your own.

Apple Talk / This just in...
« on: October 06, 2011, 02:37:01 am »
Republicans to blame President Obama for America's continuing loss of Jobs.

Principia Discussion / "To the Fairest"
« on: September 26, 2010, 07:01:08 pm »
As we all know the Apple of Discord had engraved upon it "To the Fairest".
Being tossed into the wedding of Peleus and Thetis it started a bickering match between three of the most iconic sorority girls ever.
This lead to the judgment of Paris which lead to the Trojan War.

My question to is what would have changed if rather than saying "To the Fairest" the apple said "To the Fattest".

Would the goddesses then gotten into a fight over which one of them was the tubbier or the group.  Would it just have gone to Dionysus (or perhaps Demeter)?
What would happen to the poor mortal (be it Paris or not) who had to tell one of the Olympian Goddesses she was a bit thick around the middle.

Apple Talk / It's my birthday, ask me anything!
« on: September 13, 2010, 07:41:23 pm »
On this day (9/13) allow me to share my 39 years of wisdom with

Ask me anything.

Apple Talk / Sexy time...
« on: June 12, 2010, 08:46:13 am »
Have you ever had one of those nights where you go home alone but your opposite (or compatible, whatever you want to bang) roommate does bring someone home and you hear them going at it through the walls and when it finally ends all you can think is 'Really, that should have lasted longer'?

Apple Talk / DEVO Song Study
« on: April 13, 2010, 06:51:22 am »
Listen to samples of DEVO's new works and vote on what you like.

Principia Discussion / Why Norton?
« on: March 21, 2010, 11:20:31 pm »
Has there ever been an explanation as to why Emperor Norton took on such a role as he has in Discordiaism?
Is it just because he was a West Coast eccentric and the whole shebang started up out there?

Within the past couple of years I had discovered the life of "Lord" Timothy Dexter.  I can't help but think he did more to upset the establishment of the day by being successful through sheer stupid luck.

Apple Talk / LMNO, TMBG
« on: November 15, 2009, 04:41:09 am »

While you have been singing the praises of BEARFORCE1 They Might Be Giants have been singing this.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / I think I found a bar...
« on: November 27, 2007, 06:10:34 am »
I think I've found a bar to my own BIP.  Now I just need to figure out how to pry it loose.


What am I doing at Hi-Fi?

 I was getting a steak bomb, thatís what.  But how did I get there?  I had left work at ten of Midnight.  I was on lunch, I needed something to eat but I didnít know what I wanted.  All I knew for sure is I didnít want another goddamn cold cut sandwich. 

I work in Kenmore Sq. so if I take a right out of the parking garage and then another right I could pass by An Tua Nua, possibly see some of the Ceremony regulars out smoking.  Unfortunately a gate that closes off the road in that direction ruined this simple plan.  So I turned around.  Then my mind started to wander. 

While I was careful driving I wasnít paying attention to where I was going.  In fairly short order I found myself crossing the BU Bridge.  For a moment I came back to my senses and asked myself why I was driving this way, I figured that I could just get on Memorial Drive and head to the 24/7 McDonaldís on Rt. 28.  Next thing I know Iím heading down Brookline St. in Cambridge, I could see the traffic signal where the street dumps out onto Mass. Ave. 

ĎHi-Fi,í I thought to myself, ĎI can get a steak bomb or something.  At least itís warm food.í  So I did that, I got myself a steak bomb sub.  You know what?  Without the power of drunk it tastes like ass.

But getting lost and just finding myself in Central Sq. has made me think.  Ever since my last birthday Iíve felt irritable and agitated.  Iíve mostly contributed these feelings to having lost my focus.  But tonight, just driving and ending up where I ended up, not knowing where I wanted to go, or really having any purpose or place to go to in the first place, made me think.  Perhaps the problem isnít that I have lost my focus, perhaps my focus has just shifted to the wrong things.

Lately Iíve been mostly worried about financial problems, health problems, and job problems.  Most of my waking hours are spent thinking about how to extract myself from a lot of shit I just donít like being at the center of.  It has gone so far that other aspects of my life, aspects I should be able to just relax and enjoy are also sources or worry, agitation, and even a little bit of anger.

I think somewhere rather then living life Iíve allowed life to just sort of happen to me.

The thought makes me uncomfortable.  It used to be if I needed to make a decision Iíd pick whatever seemed like it would be the most fun.  Now when I make one I find myself considering money, or thinking about the things that could go wrong, or even time wasted on something I know is a good time but wonít last until Ďhappily ever afterí.

While I am certain I can extract myself from this unpleasant worldview I am unsure how to go about doing it.  I had slack once, and every so often I catch an all to brief whiff of itís sweet scent.  I also had less hesitation in indulging my whim.  I need to rediscover my ability to do that again.  Perhaps a road trip is in order, or time spent with friends doing something that isnít the same old same old.  I was, not too long ago, happy.  I cannot see a reason why I shouldnít be able to find my way back there.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Would you like to play a game?
« on: October 22, 2007, 05:02:07 am »
I was unsure if I should put this here or in Sermons & Rants, I don't think it's very ranty so I'll let it stand as a possible contribution to BIP.

Over all it's OK, though it may need some revising, thoughts are most welcome.

Would you like to play a game?

Life is not a game, life is about the playing of games.

ĎTo that end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS SALVATION. Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is the result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing contrary orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more important than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF PLAYING GAMES.í
-The Principia Discordia

Once a person reaches a state of enlightenment to realize this they can then look back upon all the games they have been playing for their entire lives.  Games they have played alone, with friends, with strangers, with authority figures, with whoever happened to be about at the time.

Recognizing that life itself is about playing games and not actually the game itself is a release akin to a spiritual orgasm.  But it is not quite a spiritual orgasm.

The spiritual orgasm comes when you finally realize that all the rules to these games you have been playing with your life are not (or at least very rarely) written by the universe (or powers that be if you want there to be powers that be) they are written by people.  People who really arenít all that different from you.  In fact you are one of those people who makes the rules to the games you play.

ĎOther kids' games are all such a bore!
They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
You don't need a team or a referee!
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!í

-Calvin on Calvinball

Once you realize that you can make rules, break rules, revise rules, and ignore rules as you see fit you are one big step closer to freedom, true honest to Goddess freedom, the kind that doesnít need to be listed on a piece of paper to ensure that some megalomaniacal asshole tries and take it away from you because itís the only way he can get an erection.

So, turn off the computer, or put down whatever it is you are reading this in and go out and play a game.  But donít let the rules get in the way of enjoying it.

Or Kill Me / Fuck Forest Gump
« on: September 27, 2007, 01:01:25 am »
Fuck Forest Gump

ďLife is like a box of chocolates, you never know what youíre going to get.Ē

I lost count of how many dumb fuckers who are unwilling to take control of their own life brought up that quote.

Hereís a newsflash asshole, any worthwhile box of chocolates will come with a key.  That way you can tell which ones have the tasty cherry syrup in them and which ones are just cat turds.

Me, Iím allergic to chocolate, so as far as Iím concerned you can take all those boxes and stuff them up your ass.

You know what life is really like?  Itís like a pencil, a fucking broken pencil.


Which means if you want to do something worthwhile, feel special, make a difference you need to get up off your cottage cheese like ass and go find a pencil sharpener.   Then once you manage to coordinate your monkey brain and opposable thumb to give your life a point you need to get out there and jab some motherfucker in the eye with it.

I wonít lie to you, there will be some blood, that just happens when you stab a fucker in the eye.  But once the screaming has stopped you can then go through his wallet and take his money.  Once you have that fuckers money you need to get your ass to a Staples or some shit office supply shop like it and buy a M-O-T-H-E-R-F-U-C-K-I-N-G pen.

Because you donít need to sharpen a pen, and it is probably a more apt metaphor for what you want you life to really be like.

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