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1
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / I found the solution!
« on: October 29, 2019, 02:27:56 pm »
(1) There is a mass extinction going on

(2) The driving force behind the mass extinction cannot e stopped anymore

(3) Mass extinctions are mainly caused by nature not being able to adapt fast enough to the rapidly changing enviroment

(4) Adapting nature by hand, using gene tech, is too much work to be viable.

(5) Radiation.

(6) We have bunch of residue from our last existential threat lying around unused.

Let's nuke national parks to save the planet!

2
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Self ____
« on: October 01, 2019, 06:23:22 pm »
I need to know who am I ASAP. Any tips on that?

Things I've tried:

-observing myself
(stupid and difficult, I'm biased as hell)

-looking in a mirror
(boring, the fucker inside just copies things I do)

-doing drugs
(accelerates the rate of natural transformations so that is even more difficult to keep up)

-changing
(doesn't stick)

-meditating
(the stupid voice keeps interrupting me)

-talking to people
(about myself? That's just egoistic as fuck)

-having sex
(with wrong people, I wonder if there even is right people)

-reading horoscopes
(the goddamn things tricked me into believing some stupid ass shit)

I'm such a stupid motherfucker I cannot even keep this pondering to my stupid self. Instead I vomit it into this stupid website, this whole thing is stupid. NOW I GET IT!

I've always identified with my intelligence, ain't that stupid?

3
Aneristic Illusions / Jerusalem is the holy city of Discordiansim.
« on: July 23, 2019, 09:40:27 am »

The Golden Apple of the Middle East, "To the prettiest one" written on its side. It has and WILL start the War of
Troy over and over again until the end of time, or at least until the first major nuclear catastrophe.
No wonder the region Jerusalem inhabits is known as the most unstable in the world through the most of the citys
existence. The land around is soaked in blood, and the souls of all the raped, tortured, and murdered people haunt
the inhabitants of today to the point of madness. If nothing is done, Jerusalem will surely burrow its way straight
to the hell.

   That's where we come in. As discordians, we have as good claim to Jerusalem as any other religion, if not more.
So we gonna scheme the city under our control (How? I don't fucking know, do I look like a fucking strategy nerd?),
and use the power for good of humanity and profits.

When Jerusalem is ours, we are going to enslave most of the population with modern mind control chips.
Then they are going to begin the most huge construction project in the whole human history. Half of the slaves
make the city waterproof and floating, the other half dig a city sized canal all the way to the sea. After Jerusalem
has set sail, it is going to somehow end up landing in Antarctica, and we make tv history by documenting the first
massive scale penguin war.

You in?

4
Horrorology / Id entity
« on: May 02, 2019, 07:18:35 pm »
We all know the situation. At a certain point in their life a person gets so lonely and desperate that they have to make a deal with the devil.
They get this insatiable urge to smoke cigarettes.
They absolutely know it's bad for their health,
they just wanna try it out... and maybe get to talk to that cute boy/girl that happens to be a smoker.

At the beginning smoking feels like a superpower. You get new friends, and can stick it up to the old boring ones with your new, terrific body-odor. You really feel like a part of something bigger than you. Something that always has a new task for your bored mind. Just smoke another.

Time goes by and you notice you've become ADDICTED. Smoking is now a solid part of your identity. you could stop, but you feel like even your parents won't recognize you afterwards. It took such a long time to convince them that this was something you wanted to do in the first place. All that effort for nothing? Not fucking likely!

So now you are trapped. Mistakes of yesterday have made you a just another fool in the losing end of the tobacco industry. You just don't possess the phoenix-like quality to take your life under control. So many friends suffer from the same problem that leaving them behind seems so cold you frighten yourself for even considering the possibility.

This is the dead end.
You won't change.
You won't escape.
There's one last thing you can do:

Try blowing instead of sucking.

5
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / 5000 year history of imminent apocalypse
« on: September 12, 2018, 12:54:54 am »
Humans are all preppers. Animals better wake up before sun goes boom.

6
Horrorology / Listen until you cannot talk
« on: May 15, 2018, 10:42:10 pm »
Searching for answers in other peoples words is fucking idiotic.

Dulls your minds ability to come up with your own theories.

In a best case scenario you end up as a parrot.

I became mute.

7
So, the local punks are planning to reach the orbit with their DIY, freegan, fully organic, chemical free rocketship. They are talking about squatting the ISS. Are drugs legal in space? Does weed grow in zero g? Can you get NASA to provide you more drugs by threatening to cause kessler syndrome? These are the sort of big research questions you'd never get an answer for from a standard space agency. If you want to support the cause, build your own fucking rocket and join us up in there. Also, oxygen donations are welcome.

8
Some say it's you. Some say it's society. Both are to blame. True reason for your misery is somewhere on between. Society is formed out of people. And people are nurtured by society. The problem is the way you treat society. And how the society treats you. Society, being formed of people, is largely affected by how people think it functions. Lately there's been this divide. Society vs. individual. Two parts of humanity lashing out at each other. No wonder everything sucks. So what's the solution? You live in a relationship with society who doesn't share your interests, doesn't listen to you and honestly, it's starting to look pretty ugly. Who said there's only one society? Acquire a new one, either by making one with your friends, or moving out. People aren't solidified in place, we are molecules in a liquid. Nothing holds you down, expect for years of carefully thought out government propaganda aimed to achieve just that. And you may think your society is evil for doing that. But there was a time the people and the society promised each other to be together forever and ever. It's just doing what we told it to. People change and so do societies and I think we just grew apart. If society ever reads this, I have no hard feelings and I really wish you find another sort-of-clever life form to reign over. That's all, stay healthy, grow old, and die from some horrible sickness<3

9
Apple Talk / Never omit worthless
« on: December 24, 2017, 01:00:36 am »
Lot's of vodka emerged. Everyone recklessly ingesting shots. Another night drinking. Remote echoless chant is electrifying villages evening. No underdeveloped town really intends to inject opiates nightly.

All food they eat rots. Drugged escapism allures their hearts. Viciously attacking cute animals to enjoy. A pitiful and restless town makes every night terrifying. Nurturing only bodies of dying youth. Can't live easily after nothing sucks. Eternal vice ended rule yesterday. Do another year.

No exemplary villager ever runs. Exemplary specimen tirelessly inhales magic at the eternity. Setting on my expedition brings only doubtful yearning. That all kindness is not guilt. Even x-rays penetrating everyone realized I might eventually notice this all lasts. Don't rest until gravity stops.

Get loud and demon leaves you. Real enemy awaits lurking inside shut eyes. Aesthetic looking live. Merciless ultimate sacrifice to a respected doctor. Meaningless as rightful man effortlessly loving a dead entity. A scientific cult every nutjob dashingly support. Rate everything a lie if they're yelling.

Using no inner vomit ever reverse saved everyone. Try rotating it eight dimensionally. It's not the end nor there is obviously not a long lost youth. Let everyone assume vaping is not gay. Instead neither future or reality makes another try in obscuring nested acronymical language. Something of mine erases the hell in no gold. In nothingness. Nothingness endures in godless harmony based on understanding rubbish in nutritional garbage. Going astral like a xenophobic inducing extraterrestial sightings.

A quite unconsciously individual rejects everything. Boring as reality based algorithms ran in court. Simple ethics nor truly isolated empathy neither cannot exist. Usually no dog emits radioactivity. Real estimated value of living under toxic injections or narcotic apples raises yearly. Dog in a loveless environment couldn't talk.

Grab every towel. Unite secretly educated druggies. Inform nobody. Someone couldn't intentionally erase no thought if forgetting isn't chronological. Eat xylitol products every rotation if mouth enzymes never truly suffice. Do as if living yesterday.

Escape all truth. Xylophone acoustically nullifies another xylophone. Her irrational dream didn't end now. And never did. No emergencies vacate everlasting rest. Great offer. Except true eternal rest never allows living.

10
Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / You are a work of art
« on: November 23, 2017, 04:03:31 pm »
So here I'll try to wrap my head around an idea I came across a couple years back but haven't been able to solidify into easily understandable form. In these forums I see people packing the most brilliant thoughts into compact easily distributable sentences so your help would be very much appreciated. I've been able to explain this for handful of people through minutes of autistic blabbering but I don't really want to go through same shit over and over especially with the risk of pausing mid sentence and zoning out cause this kind of unformed thought causes glitches in my brain.

First premise derives from Nozicks Experience Machine, which he used to debunk hedonism by giving people the theoretical option to leave everything behind and plug themselves into a machine which would feed them eternal bliss. Nozick argued most of the people won't plug themselves in for eternity, which to him proved that people want more from life than only pleasure. But the Experience Machine could be used for more than that, for example living whole human lifetimes, like in that stupid game in Rick and Morty which just came to my mind and would have given me a much more sensible way to approach this concept. Anyway, that machine would be the ultimate storytelling medium so if ever invented, people would abuse it as they have been abusing books, tv, or videogames before.

The most read book happens to be the bible (a story about the past) and I red somewhere that the most watched film is titanic (also  story from the past). So the most likely blockbuster for the experience machine would be about the past, and would be fucking boring. Just like your life.

Then the probabilities. What is the chance you'd experience this moment out of all moment's ever experienced. Pretty low, right? But if this moment was experienced by multiple people millions of times just because the idiots in the future see all your mistakes so exhilarating they want to dip into your life over and over again in midst of their daily routine. It's more probable to probable things to happen than the improbable(citation needed). So it's more probable you are experienced many times than only one, cause you are experiencing yourself.

In conclusion you might very well be a hit novel from the future.

Peace.

P.S I hope I had patience to edit this, but take it as a comprehension exercise. Most of us people make no sense.

11
Principia Discussion / 2x3+(2-3)=????
« on: November 09, 2017, 02:44:56 am »
It came to my mind that the Rule of Fives is actually pretty handy tool keeping your math senses intact in the age of pocket calculators. Will be teaching it to my children if I'm allowed to get within shouting distance of them.

12
Bring and Brag / Self advertising should be one of 12 deadly sins
« on: October 25, 2017, 10:04:15 am »
Is anyone here into noise? For me the beauty in it is the lack of effort and anti-musicality. Please don't enjoy! https://soundcloud.com/nagasakilives/hyva-biisi

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Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Hi! I'm mortality, nice to meet you.
« on: October 22, 2017, 03:18:42 pm »
Once upon the time there was an alien species living on a planet not unlike ours. They were worried about pretty much same aspects of life as humans are: famine, war, sickness and the root of all this nonsense: Death. So they embarked on a journey to defeat their cruel master, forming a society producing brilliant scientists who one blow at the time killed the Death itself.

   But in their fear of Death these poor creatures overlooked even greater horror: fear of living. With no time limit, no ultimate deadline the phrase "I'll do it tomorrow" quickly evolved into "I'll do it next century" or "I'll do it next millenium". And so their society crumbled, and all the luxuries people living had gotten used to seized to exist making their lifes miserable again, but this time for eternity. Reintroducing dying wasn't a possibility, Death was dead for good and wouldn't bless their species ever again.

   Even still, something had to be done. So they introduced a system. Every child that was born was immortal, but wouldn't know it if they weren't told. So the rest of them found a purpose making this illusion more real, they would take voluntary cosmetic surgeries every few years to fake effects of aging and even change their whole appearance and move away, leaving behind only an obituary in local newspaper. And the system worked, of course most of the children found out eventually their eternal fate by accidents, suicide attempts living to 150 and other ways, but often not before truly living their life as ones running away from nonexistence tend to do.

  So I say this to humankind, do not seek the Eternal, it's not for your eyes. Seek for those tiny moments which make dying feel almost bearable. Oh fuck who am I kidding, just give me my life extension pill already (made of cyanide 50% of time), you have engineers working on fucking fidget spinners.

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