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Messages - tyrannosaurus vex

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 285
1
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: February 08, 2018, 04:40:35 am »
humanity spends 1,000 years colonizing space with gigantic cryo-sleeper ships and trade routes that take 100 years to cross, and people can upload their conscious minds to computers to overcome the vast time scales everything takes now, and everything in human culture revolves around waiting 50 years for the Amazon package to arrive. Then, some asshole finally invents dependable faster-than-light engines, and everything will fall apart if the technology isn't immediately suppressed.

2
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: January 31, 2018, 05:00:01 pm »
In the past 6 months, I have paid mechanics in the neighborhood of $1600 to fix a problem with my car that still exists. But before you start feeling any vague sense of sympathy, I should tell you that by "mechanics" I mean the only place within a convenient distance from my house, which is Big O Tires. Maybe someday I'll learn that real mechanics do not work there, but so far, my stupidity on the matter has proven to be stubbornly persistent. On the bright side, my car overheated this morning too far away from home to take it back to that place, so now it's at a proper shop being seen to by a guy with a greasy beard, which makes him automatically more trustworthy than the fake-smiley little shit at Big O.

3
Apple Talk / Re: Sooooooo...
« on: January 31, 2018, 04:52:20 pm »
Jesus had some pretty explicit anti-divorce shit I am not here for.

If memory serves (and I could well be wrong), the rationale behind the anti-divorce stuff is because of the societal realities of that time, place, and culture, where by and large men would initiate divorce and the divorced women would end up destitute and homeless. It seems fucked up from our perspective but put in context, it was more a way to prevent women from getting fucked over by dudes who wanted to trade in for something newer.

couldn't he have just said "don't be assholes to divorced women" ?

4
Take your most cherished dreams and hopes, and subtract any chance of them ever coming true. What you are left with is Discordianism.

5
Apple Talk / Re: Sooooooo...
« on: January 25, 2018, 06:10:50 pm »
According to the internet I am a 93% match for UU-ism. Maybe I'll check it out. It's probably the closest thing I've seen to the "atheist church" I keep hoping will spring into existence. The real obstacle is that with everything tilted toward "moral support", what are the chances there's any high-protein-content spiritual guidance going on? I'm not really looking for religious authority, but it would be cool if there was a place that could teach me how to astral-project myself into the white house and force-choke someone.

6
Apple Talk / Re: Hopeful but realistic ten-year scenarios
« on: January 20, 2018, 02:24:20 am »
As for the CIA and Google thing, I assume you're referencing some kind of future world where people give a fuck about privacy. While that may very well happen in the next 10 years, it won't do so on this planet. See, privacy is a myth. It always has been a myth, and anyone who believes in it might as well go to church on Sundays too, because it's that kind of fake. But not only is there no such thing as privacy, privacy has no right to exist anyway. If you're scared of men in black suits finding out what you fap to when nobody's looking, you're just not living. Plus, all this worrying about privacy is seriously impeding the cybernetic hivemind society I want to live in. We need to erase all concept of the self, forcefully, and over the corpses of whoever bitches about it. There's no other way to survive as a species. Plus, it would probably involve a lot of cool looking implants and wires and blinky lights and stuff, which is all far more important than not being spied on. Which isn't important at all. And no, I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. I fully support the transhumanist ideal of erasing the individual human mind from existence in favor of a collective consciousness aided by heavy and probably reckless use of technology. And, of course, gulags for anyone who doesn't like it.

I would prefer not to. ( :

That's fine. There's plenty of room in the camps, and someone's gonna have to be on commode duty.

7
Apple Talk / Re: Hopeful but realistic ten-year scenarios
« on: January 19, 2018, 04:42:28 am »
Ten years from now:

Trump is dead
Windows™ is bankrupt
Google and the CIA are now publicly known to be in on a massive worldwide scandal (and under severe investigation)
Conspiracy Theorists have taken over the white house and are taking the president of the time hostage
Anonymous opens a new bank branch



1. fine, whatever. won't do much good, but it couldn't hurt right?
2. i already barely use it, so who cares?
3. **see below
4. ...why?
5. see #4

as for the CIA and Google thing, I assume you're referencing some kind of future world where people give a fuck about privacy. While that may very well happen in the next 10 years, it won't do so on this planet. See, privacy is a myth. It always has been a myth, and anyone who believes in it might as well go to church on Sundays too, because it's that kind of fake. But not only is there no such thing as privacy, privacy has no right to exist anyway. If you're scared of men in black suits finding out what you fap to when nobody's looking, you're just not living. Plus, all this worrying about privacy is seriously impeding the cybernetic hivemind society I want to live in. We need to erase all concept of the self, forcefully, and over the corpses of whoever bitches about it. There's no other way to survive as a species. Plus, it would probably involve a lot of cool looking implants and wires and blinky lights and stuff, which is all far more important than not being spied on. Which isn't important at all. And no, I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. I fully support the transhumanist ideal of erasing the individual human mind from existence in favor of a collective consciousness aided by heavy and probably reckless use of technology. And, of course, gulags for anyone who doesn't like it.

8
Apple Talk / Re: Hopeful but realistic ten-year scenarios
« on: January 15, 2018, 10:50:41 pm »
10 years from now:

Ted Nugent is president, still shitting himself.
Joe Arpieo's festering corpse is nailed to a seat in the senate, and is a shrine to Nazis.
Public education tops out at 3rd grade, if you can pay the fees.
Youtube is nothing but Oasis tribute bands, but it doesn't matter because your service doesn't include youtube.
Warren Ellis still hasn't finished Doktor Sleepless.
The Republic of Texas fragments into 4 smaller states.
Anger is an official gender.

I see your much revered optimism has ony matured with age. Will there be an official pronoun to go with the angry gender? What will it take to upgrade to youtube? Also, so you do not predict a Major Human Population Reduction Event on that timescale, that's encouraging... I looked up the other guys you mentioned, Ted for Prez would also be an improvement, so really you are forecasting a happyfest. This Arpeio guy's local to your part of the world, right? and Ellis, he isn't even American! Public Education: do you really think it'll top out? Isn't it needed to produce reasonable-grade machine-fodder? 

Education stops at 3rd grade. After that, it's 10 years of "preemptive incarceration".

9
Apple Talk / Re: Help me get banned! Win prizes!
« on: January 14, 2018, 05:40:04 pm »
this thread is dumb, make it go away

10
Apple Talk / Re: Hopeful but realistic ten-year scenarios
« on: January 12, 2018, 05:33:57 pm »
Hopeful but realistic? In ten years, I hope life isn't too hard on the cockroaches.

11
Techmology and Scientism / Re: Windows 10
« on: January 11, 2018, 03:00:15 am »
It's sort of funny, everyone doing everything they can to kill off Windows Update, and at work all day I've been banging my head against a brick wall trying to get the damn thing to work. I've got 150 endpoints that absolutely *refuse* to update, or at least to install the updates I want them to install.

12
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: January 11, 2018, 02:57:47 am »
Thousands of years ago, all the high fantasy shit was totally real, complete with magic and elves and whatever. But the elves got tired of our shit and decided to teach us a lesson by constructing a global network of magic-inhibiting monuments which effectively eradicated all forms of magic from the world. The idea was that we'd destroy ourselves and the whole planet with that kind of power, and they wanted us to develop into a wiser, more thoughtful race.

It's a comedy, of course.

13
High Weirdness / Re: Chicken grows face of dinosaur
« on: January 11, 2018, 01:36:51 am »
besides, they HAVE my ethical approval. Asking for approval from someone they know will not grant it, or not asking at all, shows a clear bias, and I think it invalidates their findings.

14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 10, 2018, 04:00:43 pm »
fluoridation in our waters that are depleting our essential bodily fluids.

wat

15
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 07, 2018, 01:24:35 am »
I think he is basically a semi-aware collection of assumptions and insecurities more than he is an actual person.

I could describe myself this way in some sense. I certainly have felt like it sometimes.

The difference is that you have the ability to describe yourself that way. Trump, on the other hand, is constitutionally incapable of that level of self-reflection.

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