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Messages - Prelate Diogenes Shandor

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 117
1
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: Yesterday at 08:33:46 am »
I Know What You Did Last Summer, except with anthropomorphic deer

2
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Looking for ideas
« on: July 14, 2018, 04:16:51 pm »
Use it to direct people towards candidates that are actually from different conservative parties, such as the Libertarians, to split the vote

3
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: July 14, 2018, 04:14:15 pm »
They fail to explain why being criticized by the Trump administration would be a bad thing. Is "criticize" a euphemism for something else here, like assassination or sabotage?

4
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: July 14, 2018, 08:11:13 am »
People are always complaining that the depiction of bondage in 50 Shades of Gray is unrealistic and over the top, so what I want to see is a parody of 50 Shades based on the Armin Meiwes case (the one where the guy agreed to be killed and to have his penis bitten off)

5
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: July 13, 2018, 10:53:27 am »
*Sekhmet imprisoned in a fusion reactor in science-fantasy film

*Ad for "Nostra-Dominos" pizza; delivery prior to the order being placed is guaranteed

*A TV news program does an investigative hidden-camera report on people who don't flush the toilet after using the restroom

*tiny demons mining rubies from the sinister glow in a vampire's eyes

*version of Alice in Wonderland where the caterpillar is a frat boy, the flowers talk obsessively about anthers and stamens in a way that makes people uncomfortable, the jack of hearts is demoted in a ceremony resem ling the sacrifice from Temple of Doom, and the Dormouse recites passages from the Necronomicon as well as that chant about the Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmet

*a neo-nazi cult uses frosty the snowman's hat to bring adolph hitler back to life

*An america-themed serial killer called the "nephew of sam"

6
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: July 11, 2018, 06:41:37 am »
An expanded version of the biblical story of the feeding of the 5000 explaining the role that cannibalism played in this miracle

7
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: July 10, 2018, 06:19:48 pm »
The crew of a starship are menaced by a malevolent energy-being that feeds on science-fiction cliches. Initially they think it feeds on fear and/or hate, but no, it's behaving that way because it feeds on cliches. Reversing the polarity or ejecting it into space (especially by opening an airlock or by beaming it away at maximum dispersal) only make it stronger. What will they do!? They'll have to come up with something original!

8
Yes, but probably a bad day to have any kind of accent.  The Daily Mail is arguing that we should expel all the estimated 3.8 million EU citizens who live here currently

Yes, in a similar vein, the majority of the US population wants to move 11.3 million people all at once.  The dumber you get, the more vicious you get.  Or maybe it's the other way around.

They both feed into the other; that's why they call it a vicious cycle

9
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 30, 2018, 09:51:24 pm »
:lulz:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/tariniparti/donald-trump-appears-to-have-gotten-tricked-into-calling-a?utm_term=.cgJ03god9#.vsoaPqN8z

Quote
John Melendez, a podcast host known for playing pranks also known as "Stuttering John," says he managed to get an Air Force One phone call from President Donald Trump, who appears to have thought Melendez was New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez.

If accurate, the call, which Melendez recorded and posted as a podcast episode, would be a stunning lapse in procedure and security for the White House.

But there was some genuine information in that call:

Quote
"I want to be able to take care of this situation every bit as anybody else," he says of the crisis at the border. "I'd like to do the larger solution rather than the smaller solution."

I'm sure he meant to say "final", not "larger"

10
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 29, 2018, 06:04:24 am »
BTW, speaking of swing states, here is what needs to happen to have the best chance to fix this mess. We need a lot of democrats from non-swing states to move to the swing states and turn them blue. Alternately, we need a lot of democrats from a cross section of blue states to move to one or two of the low population red states and turn them blue

11
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 29, 2018, 05:43:20 am »
I'm somewhat conflicted. On the one hand I feel like I should get out of this country while the getting's good, on the other hand I'm in a swing state and feel like the United States needs me (Plus I don't know where I'd go to; most places I don't speak the language, and I want to steer clear of the commonwealth of nations because they tend to have onerous censorship laws; like for the longest time The Driller Killer was banned in Britain because it was supposedly over the top, and that movie's boring as shit, and you still can't get any good movies or videogames in austrailia).

12
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 29, 2018, 03:52:23 am »
Well, Justice Kennedy is retiring next month. Trump gets two SCOTUS picks.



Pack ‘em up, folks. We had a good run. Last one in the building, hit the lights on your way out.

Wasn't Justice Kennedy a Republican anyway? It's my understanding that he was appointed by the previous demented president before this one (Ronald Regan)

He was the liberal swing vote to several abortion cases (Casey, Hellerstedt), DOMA, as well as the gay marriage ruling (Obergefell), and that executing juvenile offenders constitutes "cruel and unusual punishment" (Roper v. Simmons).

What we'll most likely get is someone to the right of Alito and Gorsuch, meaning the court could easily undo all of the above.

If Ronald Reagan accidentally appointed someone who wasn't completely a piece of shit it's plausible that Trump could too.

13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 28, 2018, 05:55:21 pm »
they are more or less saying "WE'RE DOING EVIL THINGS AND WE KNOW IT"
...

To be fair, people caring about things is what caused this whole mess. This is all happening because people were worried about illegal immigration and the fate of the manufacturing industry. If people had cared less then there would be no need for people to care now
These people care about "winning." They do this at the cost of reason. Argument has no dominion, only numbers.

But think about it. The best plausible outcome for the rest of Donald Trump's presidency is that he goes back to the golf course and just stays there for the next 30 months*. That would be better even than if he resigned or was impeached or got shot or got flattened by a meteor, because in those scenarios we get president Pence; but if he blows if off entirely we don't get either.

Or going back a couple of administrations, things went from bad to worse after Bush stopped reading that book to those kids, didn't they? We got the War On Terror, and he signed the PATRIOT Act, and so forth.




*(or for 24 more months if Christianity is to be believed; "The beast was allowed to brag and claim to be God, and for 42 months it was allowed to rule" -Revelation 13:5, Contemporary English Version)

14
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: June 28, 2018, 05:45:20 pm »
Well, Justice Kennedy is retiring next month. Trump gets two SCOTUS picks.



Pack ‘em up, folks. We had a good run. Last one in the building, hit the lights on your way out.

Wasn't Justice Kennedy a Republican anyway? It's my understanding that he was appointed by the previous demented president before this one (Ronald Regan)

15
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« on: June 28, 2018, 12:05:11 am »
Some ideas:

*In a post-apocalyptic world a doomsday survivalist manual has become the holy book of the descendents of one group of survivors. (Inspired my realization that this is what the Bible is. The mosaic law isn't a moral framework, it's a collection of doomsday survivalist tips, which is why the jews were mostly unscathed by the Plague)

*Spoof of A Christmas Carol wherein Scrooge's only takeaway from the vision is to fire the cleaning woman and the laundress

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