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Messages - Doktor Howl

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 ... 1627
1
Even the fabulous Doktor can make mistakes.

Converted a supply closet to a kiln room for a glass kiln.  Got the spacing right, power provided, fire department sign-off, everything.

I mean, everything except the air conditioning return.  Didn't think of that bit.

So the return in the old supply room starts shipping the smell of fusing glass into the accounting office.  Like a lot.  Like a whole lot.  Like the accounting office smells like a crematorium.  So, vented the old supply room out of the ceiling, and pulled the return and dropped it in my office, which is on a different HVAC unit.  So every time the door is closed, my ears pop.

Recap:  Stink gone from accounting office, and my dimensionally-incorrect office is now also atmospherically-incorrect.

This can only get better.

2
Apple Talk / Re: Ancapistan, take 6
« on: Yesterday at 08:58:48 pm »
Isn't there a plotline in The Filth about this?

Oh yeah, terrorists kidnap the president of floating libertarian paradise, give him lots of LSD, breast implants, and brainwash him into doing a "happy birthday mister president" dance on TV


the way 2018 is going, that will seem tame compared to reality


IIRC, it was the president of the United States, kidnapped by a terrorist on the ship, which is descending into chaos due to inherent flaws in the social design.

Also read Rapture by John Shirley, which is the backstory to the game Bioshock.  Glorious example of unintended consequences.  Nobody can leave the city, and when the construction is done, Ryan's plan for the construction workers is "Innovation".

Needless to say, it doesn't work and everyone dies.

3
 I am, today, extra-bitter about all of the bogus apocalypse predictions from 2012 forward.  :rogpipe:

4
Apple Talk / Re: Tucson Irregulars
« on: May 19, 2018, 01:02:16 am »
The Tucson Irregulars offer the ONLY soul-back guarantee in the business!  Even if you didn't have one to begin with.  We make this flyblown hellscape FUN!  Get a certificate in:

Dust Deviling
Sun Roofing
Alley-Bashing
Coliche Diddling
and
Getting Shot While You're Getting Shot

Call now!

5
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Free Russian Orphans with Every Purchase
« on: May 18, 2018, 09:30:34 pm »
So, the Houston shooter was a Nazi. 

I am shocked.

7
I'm hoping there will be at least one more good story out of this.

I honestly can't see a bad ending for this.

8
So, the Great Snake Scare in this joint went viral pretty quickly.  Patrol's phones are blowing up, as are admins, mine, the executive director's, everyone.

Nobody has SEEN the snake (that part of the hysteria will come later).  Instead, everyone is scared because they DON'T see it...Which is, in the case of a monster 12' boa constrictor, not unreasonable.  What isn't reasonable is what they're asking for.

1.  "How long will it take you to find the snake?"
2.  "How do I know if the snake is around without being able to see it?"
3.  "What do we do if the snake attacks my corgi?"

The answers, so far:

1.  "Ma'am, if I knew that, I would know where the snake is, and the answer would be 'the problem is over'."
2.  "Sir, I don't even know where to start with you."
3.  "Wager on the snake, get a new corgi."

9
Apple Talk / Re: The Pit, 5 parts
« on: May 18, 2018, 04:52:20 am »
This fucking kills me.  It's like the best idea I ever had, then I got distracted by shiny stuff, and now I can't remember how I was gonna end it.

10
Also, Tucson rush hour traffic horror:







I was barely doing 70 MPH on account of that one guy.  This isn't reasonable.

11
As awful as Russian interference in our elections is, the fact is they've done nothing but pour gasoline on the fire that has been burning America from the inside out for 200 years already. Their goal probably is, like Cain suggests, to hamstring America's ability to act effectively to impede Russia's international aims. But at this point, I'm not sure America even has an identity beyond our superpower status. At least not an identity strong enough to keep the country from collapsing. Not only in terms of political and military policy, but as a viable political entity of any kind.

And I have to admit that, besides the inevitable campaign of ethnic and political cleansing that would arise from such a collapse, I'm okay with the end of America. There's nothing about this fundamentally defective experiment in "equality" that's even worth saving anymore.

I've been to actual failed nations way back in the day, and I'm gonna disagree.  This is by no means even in the same ballpark.  You are offended by America's failures on a philosophical level; just wait until you see actual failures on civil structure and infrastructure.

It will allow you to see things in an entirely new prospective, in the same manner that hitting your thumb with a hammer will take your attention off of your backache.

I was being too dramatic. Of course I don't want the actual civil infrastructure to collapse. I meant that "America" as a cohesive union of 50 states that obviously hate each other is nearing the end of its life as a useful concept. The federal government exists to ensure a relatively consistent "citizenship experience" for citizens of all 50 states. But it's clear that its ability to do that is not only failing but being actively sabotaged. Soon, the power it has to enforce sanity will be turned on its head and used to enforce the opposite instead. At that point, a split between 30 batshit crazy neo-feudalist kingdoms and 20 relatively modern and sane mini-republics is preferable to a zombie mega-nation unified by the threats and whims of a tyrannical imperial throne.

I'm just saying I'd rather see (Federal) America collapse and die than see it survive at the cost of everything that justifies its existence (which is a dwindling list, anyway). 50 individual states without any allegiance to each other would be a bad outcome, but the combined endgame of Russia and the GOP would be worse. As I don't have much faith in our ability to avoid both, I'm on the side of the former.

Oh, yeah, I'm totally about that.

But it isn't going to happen that way, because unlike 1860, the asshats are evenly distributed.

12
Apple Talk / Re: I am now running for Mexico.
« on: May 17, 2018, 10:28:35 pm »
Amigos,

Do not let the nominations for the current century disrupt your work. The gringos have still not provided long form sombreros.

The liberul media is trying to distract you with talk of witch hats!

Madre dios!

Amigos, please, write to your freinds in the world and highlight the cause. OUR MEXICO HAS NO SOMBRERO.

Only you can keep Mexico, Mexican.

El 3/7'sthshs (We've grown!  A bit!)

It has been 5 long years, and neither sombreros nor the second half of the joke have been produced.

13
Kevin:  "You should stop laughing, boss.  This isn't funny."

Me:  "There are no possible conditions under which this isn't funny."

Kevin:  "She was seriously injured."

Me:  "Yes.  She was seriously injured because she was walking on the Spanish tiles on a roof on which she had no business being, trying to catch waiters fucking off out back for a smoke.  How the hell did she even get up there?  I don't know.  You don't know.  Nobody fucking knows, and she ain't saying.  So instead of doing her flying nun routine, she fell.  And she fell because God hates a busy-body snitch who has no better way to spend her retirement than criminal trespassing in an attempt to get a minimum wage employee fired."

Kevin:  "Well, when you say it like that..."

Me:  "Damn right.  God hates snitches, I hate snitches, and every right-thinking human being hates snitches."

Kevin:  "Harsh."

Me:  "Remember Judas Iscariot?  Neither do I."

14
As awful as Russian interference in our elections is, the fact is they've done nothing but pour gasoline on the fire that has been burning America from the inside out for 200 years already. Their goal probably is, like Cain suggests, to hamstring America's ability to act effectively to impede Russia's international aims. But at this point, I'm not sure America even has an identity beyond our superpower status. At least not an identity strong enough to keep the country from collapsing. Not only in terms of political and military policy, but as a viable political entity of any kind.

And I have to admit that, besides the inevitable campaign of ethnic and political cleansing that would arise from such a collapse, I'm okay with the end of America. There's nothing about this fundamentally defective experiment in "equality" that's even worth saving anymore.

I've been to actual failed nations way back in the day, and I'm gonna disagree.  This is by no means even in the same ballpark.  You are offended by America's failures on a philosophical level; just wait until you see actual failures on civil structure and infrastructure.

It will allow you to see things in an entirely new prospective, in the same manner that hitting your thumb with a hammer will take your attention off of your backache.

15
Lastly, there are some things that are too vile to share an atmosphere with.

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