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Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: April 12, 2020, 03:31:31 am »https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-keeps-talking-republicans-dont-122811994.html
The trump presidency is FOUR YEARS of The Aristocrats.
News:
if the thee off of you are revel in the fact you ds a discordant suck it's dick and praise it's agenda? guess what bit-chit's not. hat I in fact . do you really think it'd theshare about shit, hen you should indeed tare-take if the frontage that you're into. do you really think it's the hardcore shite of the left thy t? you're little f/cking girls parackind abbot in tituts. FUCK YOU. you're latecomers, and you 're folks who don't f/cking get it. plez challenge me.
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2
Apple Talk / Re: ITT: Call It Now, Be Right Later
« on: April 11, 2020, 07:33:28 am »
When the Large Hadron Collider goes operational in May 2008, a lot of crazy shit is going to happen.
CRRRRAAAAAMMMMMMMM!
Yeah, but 2008 didn't have shit on this.
I'll give Cram The Coming Weird Times, though.
3
Apple Talk / Re: HAY DOK! (news from the Seguin front)
« on: April 11, 2020, 07:28:20 am »1. An 8th grader died yesterday.
2. Robert Tilton wants his hair back.
3. GET OUT OF THERE.
1. A metric fuckton of people are dying and getting put in mass graves...in 2020. I know you saw that big ditch in NY. They're expecting a lot more.
I haven't seen the ditches for the migrant kids yet. But I know they're out there.
2. I can say that even the people here (the ones capable of typing, anyway) rode the mayor's ass so hard on the city's facebook page that he edited the whole screed to "Apparently, some people have misunderstood the intentions of my monthly Mayor’s Message that appeared in the Seguin Gazette and on social media regarding the COVID-19 situation. I hope this message clears up any of those misunderstandings." https://www.seguintexas.gov/government/mayor_s_message/index.php
The Sutherland Springs Baptist Church outside of New Braunfels is still holding services. Because that mass shooting a couple of years ago wasn't enough. Fine if they want to go home to Jebus. Just don't take the rest of us.
Nextdoor is actually a war zone over this shit. People are telling them to "KEEP YOUR ASS AWAY FROM HEB AND WALMART!" That warms my cockles.
Yeah, we're fucked. Everybody's fucked, but we're EXTRA SPECIAL FUCKED.
3. It's probably too late for me to get out. Reduced work schedule, less money, and even if I left all my shit and my dogs behind (NOT abandoning the dogs!) what am I going to do? Take a Greyhound? Hitchhike? Not feasible.
I have standing invitations to go to all kinds of places, but everything is fucked right now. All over. I wish anybody luck going anywhere. My job gave me a paper to carry saying I work for an "essential business". Backup sensors for new cars are not essential, but fuck it. Maybe I'll take it with me to the liquor store. (Is the liquor store "essential"?)
The streets are near empty. I've seen footage: Hollywood Blvd., the Strip in Vegas, Amsterdam, even...
Hunkering down.
4
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: April 11, 2020, 06:54:14 am »So we've finally hit end-stage syphilis.
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-signs-order-encouraging-us-mine-moon-minerals-1496823
I can't express how happy that makes me. It's just so utterly pointless.
I am also enjoying this more than is reasonable.
This shit is why I need you back on Facebook.
Seconded. x infinity, because a lot of people there don't come here.
Look at that face. He's making that Trump mouth. The one Putin likes, the one that looks like an old pig asshole popping out when it cuts a particularly rancid fart:
This cannot go unpunished.
6
Apple Talk / Re: Things go boom
« on: April 11, 2020, 06:36:18 am »Fucking THIS. Although, this may have shat on the golden goose for them. Anyway. American's funding the IRA is one of my "RAAARGH" berserk button topics, so I should probably shut up.
It's not "America", it's 5th generation Irish-Americans who feel that they have to "help" in some manner, or they won't be real Irishmen.
There's probably a rant in how many stupid fucking things have been done so people feel like "Real Men"
Oh, gods. ^this^Fucking THIS. Although, this may have shat on the golden goose for them. Anyway. American's funding the IRA is one of my "RAAARGH" berserk button topics, so I should probably shut up.
It's not "America", it's 5th generation Irish-Americans who feel that they have to "help" in some manner, or they won't be real Irishmen.
I hate calling them Irish Americans. (they are fucking AMERICAN) Passport entitlement or GTFO. Growing up with MY surname and my dad in the 80's in the UK. Not good. Anyway. I should probably log out, as NORAID and "Irish"-Americans is not a subject i can be charitable about, and I don't want to put my foot in my mouth or say something fucked up because of the shit I grew up in. Like being asked if my dad was a terrorist, and other racist bullshit. I said some kind of fucked up shit post 9-11 related to all this. I know better now, but. emotive.
17th December 1978, there was a bomb planted in Southampton, 6 months before I was conceived. This is why my mum put her foot down about my first name being a explicitly Irish one.
This was the day I was told that my wife can't be Irish.
Good times.
I'm only a little Irish. There's so much mixing in me that I am, as the old folks used to say, "Crossways between a fencerail and a sonofabitch."
We've been here in the US since 1640 and my ancestors apparently fucked whoever was handy at the time.
I am perfectly fine with this.
7
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: April 10, 2020, 08:13:23 am »So we've finally hit end-stage syphilis.
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-signs-order-encouraging-us-mine-moon-minerals-1496823
I can't find any record of Al Capone being THAT goddamn loony.
8
Apple Talk / Re: PICS VIII: 10% LARGER THAN PICS VII
« on: March 24, 2020, 06:45:21 pm »
Want to see some scary shit?
This is Eddie Van Halen.
This is Eddie Van Halen.
10
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: March 24, 2020, 05:13:05 pm »I have to admit, that is surprising. And highly concerning. I wonder if Trump's actions were triggered by the same report that made the UK government suddenly realise they were being morons?
It turns out that he fucked up each and every measure, so the universe is in fact still following the rules.
On the plus side, having the party which brought you "death panels for Grandma" now openly arguing for the positives of eldercide is darkly amusing.
There goes the GOP and their base.
11
Apple Talk / Re: Still more anon PM responses.
« on: February 07, 2020, 06:58:38 pm »
What happened with Adios?
12
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Congress, but still refusing to testify
« on: February 07, 2020, 06:55:24 pm »Um.
Wow.
This is so American it makes my teeth itch.
https://apnews.com/087793aca502274877c4763383c2f151
I have to just rephrase this because it’s so fucking absurd.
A man is trying to barricade himself in his apartment because of a dog attack. A neighbor enters the apartment, goes “that’s a dog attack alright”, then goes to get his trusty FUCKING crossbow. He shoots a dog with his FUCKING CROSSBOW ARE YOU SHITTING ME and the bolt penetrates the dog and kills the dude who was trying to create a barricade against the dogs. Cops show up, and kill the dogs. Crossbow man realizes the person he was trying to help is dead and he killed the poor bastard.
...QuoteOne of the dogs belonged to the man who died, she said. The other belonged to his girlfriend, who also lived in the home.
"My friends pets were fighting amongst themselves like they do all week, so I got them all killed - finally some peace and quiet."
So pretty much I feel like everyone was at fault in this situation, except the poor dogs.
Life is tough on dogs.
In the very best life they can enjoy, they get their balls chopped off.
Think about that for a second.
Mine still have balls, since they don't have access to fe-
Oh. Yeah, you're right.
13
Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: January 30, 2020, 12:50:11 pm »Wow, that's definitely not piss the Palestinians off and certainly a sign of a great ambassador (or whatever the fuck he is).How is he not the star attraction at the county fair punching booth?
BUILD IT AND THEY WILL COME.
I'd bethere with bells on. And brass knucks.
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Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Congress, but still refusing to testify
« on: January 26, 2020, 10:42:08 pm »
The cats didn't want to engage in a war with you. Cats are smart.
They choose their victims carefully. I doubt you'll ever find catshit in your shoes.
They choose their victims carefully. I doubt you'll ever find catshit in your shoes.