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Messages - sadhugonganess

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Discordian Recipes / Alexander Fleming Discovers Penicillin
« on: July 26, 2012, 03:26:46 am »
Edited to remove copyrighted material.

One more time and you're history, jackass.

Okay, this was published work as well.

Fun spam copyright time over.

another thing is just to write more about africa and african mythology in a different way, because i feel like people wanna support africa but really they end up just supporting christianity, theres just not enough information available to do that, when people start writing about africa, they just start writing about suffering, they write about it in historical context, and in the context that they have to follow village elders and stuff, but if you took more liberty with it, and just wrote what was in your heart, and developed some kind of intuited spirituality that was channeled from there, shamanically without outside validation, thats the only way to really respect it and allow it to grow, then put it on the internet but the way africa is represented from what i can see, i feel like doesnt do it justice, and if thats the way they really want it, and its not just because a lot of people dont have internet, then i think im not down with it, its too monarchial... i feel like wanti is an interesting place, its definitely connected to this world in a deep way, i feel connection to wanti, i dont feel connection to rastafari... etc, i feel like people always give props to africa but if they developed like where their heritage is, the spirituality of that, intuited it, we would be much better off because native ways, tribal ways, natural wisdom, are with every people.. and perhaps it will only truly open in africa, or the ultimate truth will only come out when that is available and its not just whitewashed by faiths who came and wanted there to be no other alternative viewpoint. Return to the folklore, and make it anew from you experience, as the ancients did, renew the heroes who live in our dreams and share them in this world yeah... thats thee real way to help the planet

i had a dream about this, it is a dream deeply rooted in the hippie
dream, the hopi dream, and the wanti dream, (and basicaly all of em)
i had a dream about all of this, several dreams, since i was basically
3, dreams that told me details, down to the fact that i would be
living in the place i'm living right now, and such things as this, and
now that its 2012, and we are entering more into the world where dream
and reality is one again, its important to try to put together the
meaning of what it is... for one, one hugely important thing dnd
stands for dream'n druids, not dungeons and dragons, even that small
change changes the entire world, opens up new perspectives of looking
at things that aren't unreal but just creative and valid expressions
of truth, and takes us beyond the childish and totally overblown
reptilian overlord idea, that was being forced down our throats, the
solution was not a huge battle, it was simply tao, it was changing
that simple term, sometimes, thats all it takes to be a hero.

because using things from that can help us live our lives in a more
authentic and visionary way, but we have to break it free from the
parts that belittle it and wield it with virtue, and responsibility
truly realizing what it means to live it, and that it is effecting
this world, and other planes of reality.

we are playing that game, but a boundless version of it, and the
stakes are literally our lives, and karma and stuff is real...

night elf rap!

we're in the back

with a leaf we used to wrap

many liberty caps

to relax

the limitations of pyramid stacks that they use to attack

but Airmid will collapse em (note: Airmid is the diety of herbs and healing)

its kinda like Kweli

in the treehouse on metaphorical molly (note: talib kweli, underground mc)

except its really coille (note: gaelic for 'Forest')

the forest spirit told me;

irish is the native tongue

its the rainbows that had spun

records when our spirits were young

but lately these hippies just see a rainbow for her gold

they want the end and not the journey

so out they have sold

and they call it white magic

but really, its just a waste

if you're just in it for the end, you speak to feet but not face (but technically feet would be about the journey since they move us around so idk there, but i mean yea)

instead feed your head thats what the slick grace said

but also feed your heart

because head rhymes with dead

art rhymes with heart

and it don't end or start

there is no gold without the rest you'll never tear us apart

not even a transgendered Goddess can seperate light from dark

though the torah says it, but think about this;

you can only see the frown of a rainbow

the rest you have to intuit


this is simply tao

but theres no way to turn a rainbow upside down

wow, theres no duality

the dark and light celts came together forming cows

this pleased the spirits so

the mushrooms grow

and now come the

reds yellows blues orange green and purple glow

becoming all species


thats how the story does go of how the circle of life started in

ireland, don't ya know?

it was passed around because mushrooms like to be nomadic,

so really the circle starts everywhere

with anyone its not static

but ecstatic

the beginning is everyone in all of us this is equality

break free realize africa has nor wants no monopoly

dream your own dream, listen to others insights

and you'll find life is much more of an adventure

and a lot less strife

we've all got native raving in us

we represent animal rights

but its all a different type

if it was all the same it would suck

my mom taught me that

and shes a hip hop gypsy irish fairy

so watsup

my dad is a shroom

and my sisters are both good luck

we're the flemings yo

and this is our rap

bringing real hip hop back, from nazi attax

now you can relax not the black but the rainbow family is back

(now with more tao!)

freestyle, we'll never relapse

night elf rap!
we're in the back
with a leaf we used to wrap
many liberty caps
to relax
the limitations of pyramid stacks that they use to attack
but Airmid will collapse em (note: Airmid is the diety of herbs and healing)
its kinda like Kweli
in the treehouse on metaphorical molly (note: talib kweli, underground mc)
except its really coille (note: gaelic for 'Forest')
the forest spirit told me;
irish is the native tongue
its the rainbows that had spun
records when our spirits were young
but lately these hippies just see a rainbow for her gold
they want the end and not the journey
so out they have sold
and they call it white magic
but really, its just a waste
if you're just in it for the end, you speak to feet but not face (but technically feet would be about the journey since they move us around so idk there, but i mean yea)
instead feed your head thats what the slick grace said
but also feed your heart
because head rhymes with dead
art rhymes with heart
and it don't end or start
there is no gold without the rest you'll never tear us apart
not even a transgendered Goddess can seperate light from dark
though the torah says it, but think about this;
you can only see the frown of a rainbow
the rest you have to intuit

this is simply tao
but theres no way to turn a rainbow upside down
wow, theres no duality
the dark and light celts came together forming cows
this pleased the spirits so
the mushrooms grow
and now come the
reds yellows blues orange green and purple glow
becoming all species

thats how the story does go of how the circle of life started in
ireland, don't ya know?
it was passed around because mushrooms like to be nomadic,
so really the circle starts everywhere
with anyone its not static
but ecstatic
the beginning is everyone in all of us this is equality
break free realize africa has nor wants no monopoly
dream your own dream, listen to others insights
and you'll find life is much more of an adventure
and a lot less strife
we've all got native raving in us
we represent animal rights
but its all a different type
if it was all the same it would suck
my mom taught me that
and shes a hip hop gypsy irish fairy
so watsup
my dad is a shroom
and my sisters are both good luck
we're the flemings yo
and this is our rap
bringing real hip hop back, from nazi attax
now you can relax not the black but the rainbow family is back
(now with more tao!)
freestyle, we'll never relapse

Apple Talk / endarkened rockville shamanism celebrates the orgasm
« on: July 20, 2012, 06:56:20 pm »
no traditions, no context, just what the spirits are telling YOU personally right now.. i dont understand this ayahuasca ritual, but i noticed a lot of dmt containing trees, mimosa hostilis, growing in rockville maryland and surrounding area,they are recorded as invasive but there are so many of them and they seem to be full grown many of them, i dont know if they are or not, but now thers a bunch of videos up about rockville and real estate ppl, and its scary, i dont use that kind of shamanism


i feel more that im being stalked and forced to be a shaman in that way, but no one is affirmin that in my real life really, its just the videos, im not like these guys, i have a different style, i respect that style but i dont understand if they are like invading and if its a bad thing, like so many videos on youtube reference me seems to be like, something political, i dont want the duality conflict constantly, real shamans dont fight eachother



it seems like its about humiliating videos and making me feel bad, like i have to be perfect cant watch any sexy videos or they will judge it and appear in my life and attack me, the reason i do it on the internet is i dont want it in real life, i dont want intercourse.. but im not going to stop orgasming or watching videos because of the threat, thats how this shamanism really is, its just a bully, its not empathetic, its immature and stupid, i am a priestess of wanti, and a danu worshipper


all it is ,they get the interenet to center on you, and try to make ur life a joke, its corporations, *destroys all corporations* *ends vampirism,ends parasites*

the reason its this corny is because it keeps trying to attach itself to me (as i've explained in other posts, especially lughnasadh trip, brontesaurus hill)... making this huge path.. of synchronicities... pointing me out specifically in various ways with varying degrees of subtlety

i like to think that my art is more sexual liberated than that, its not conformist, and its not about the judgement of others, but its also not about  hurting anything, especially nature, and its not about racial divisions, and saying some race has a specific role...

in my lifestyle/philosophy, you can enjoy yourself and thats good for the world, the more you enjoy yourself, as long as you are not enjoying yourself through anothers suffering, the more the world flourishes

its not ascetic

it also doesn't believe in pets or leashes

because thats what this feels like, being on some leash to the internet and it being like oh do some primitive tribal healing ritual,  do the primitive tribal healing ritual, shaman on a leash...

and it might happen in some other context but it can't happen in this setting... because it would just be stupid

in a way i've fallen in a sense, just by talking about it, but i dont care its worth it just to put it out there...

can we come at it from a less commercial/manipulative seeming direction? if its happening at all

i dont want these to all be huge places that are like known on the internet and stuff.. not through me... but its like i feel so surrounded it just seems like its not really new its just acknowledging thats basically how it is anyways, otherwise how do they know so much about me...

my consciousness is totally endarkened, and obviously you guys wanna treat me as the chosen one, its like archetypal like road to el dorado, but no.. i mean i refuse to do that, the image of being like a king of dude who is followed in that way, with no subtley is not appealing to me, rastafari is not appealing to me, i feel they are not virtuous enough with their words, and philosophy,

i am a totaly endarkened consciousness

this issue is settled, im not performing for you all, thats not even nessecary, this is not a south american village... this is not conquistadors, inquisition, this is not history book... this is just people living... simple zen life

we leave you with this story


a band of beings with sharpened blades were descending upon a tree at

the edge of the wood where the amazing Lisa Rosdonen sat in deep

meditation, the commotion caught her attention and she looked up, just

as the man in front raised his acts she shouted from the brush, "DONT

CUT DOWN THAT TREE!" (a small voice followed from an unknown source

'plant hemp instead and use the versatile stalks as wood!') the man

put down the ax gently, and the band was enlightened.

to be enlightened is to be endarkened, to be endarkened is to be enlightened


i am zazen, air is luck, kabbala is anarchy follow no one, be whole in yourself, this is the way, we all break from it and return, spontaneously, Any God's Goddess's Hippie's or Shaman's name is only one feather on the wings that are your divine Soul

ultimately they all fade away to the silence, and then there is just what you have done, then you see that you are creator, all names are just pathways to remember or dances as you watch it unfold on and on it unfolds, you must chose what will be, there is no creator, there is just being...

for you are the whole thing, what more can be created? each creation is an emptiness each emptiness is a creation, thus it is wholehole, thus everything exists and nothing exists, to be enlightened is to be endarkened and to be endarkened is to be enlightened. all phenomenon is its opposite, thus there is no karma, all is equal, good or bad, really its one, this is wantism.. i think,

but the whole is larger than you think you are, the whole can't ever be controlled, its not control that the ravers have, its not control we ever obtain, even as creators. control is loss of control, the forest only grows if its not consciously planned, neat rows are not a forest, neat rows do not speak to us the same, they are not free. We don't obtain control, we just attain trust.





never give up the practice of zazen, they may try to make you think zazen is this and that, filling you with preconceptions about zazen and some kind of delusion tradition or trend, but the nature of the truth breaks down all of these in turn, as we realize zazen is merely sitting and nothing more. Doing nothing, therein lies its fulfillment. Zen is the eternal spirituality, ineffable, incomprehensible, hidden, yet liberating all, when you practice, don't seek others to practice with, simply practice. you might be dead by morning, all dissapears into the endless river of being that is mind. Any being who practices zazen diligently, attains karmalessness, any being that practices zazen is instantly aware of the truth.








last nited dreamed i

was in ff7 it was about animal rights

there were these nazis who surrounded it

but i worshipped danu

because i didnt want to catch the pokemon, aeris,

they had to be free

it was a game but it was real

and people were turning into the animals

the pokemon and they were being hurt

because they kept catching pokemon

like it was a game and trying to train them and fight with them

but they couldn't tell that the pokemon were people

and danu was the new way, where it wasn't about fighting

where everyone was just free

and even people there wasnt like money and beauracracy stuff controlling them

they just lived

danu showed them that the pokemon and animals were part of us, we are them its not a seperate race, that we can't fight like that as a game.. because it just hurts us



- brought to you by the people who brought you pennicillin

this is not even just about rockville, i feel like this is about all transgendered people, all people who go against racial or any kind of stereotypes and the rave scene and internet in general


...we do think its a stupid dance, but we are willing to rave for it, thats one thing we will do... but its not primitive tribal, its just zen... its a rave zen meditation for the dumbness to stop... its not based in any faith, its just like idunno dancing for health, so everything can be where it must be...


personally i really like jungle/drum n bass, but raving isn't just electronic music, its just like being free, living free, not a bunch of responsibility, dropping out... its not discipline, its trust... looseness, surrender to the flow of love


the ecstasy comes from inside not out

getting high on life


i am female... i am the priestess of wanti

i am a non conformist


*offers tao

also paganism and magic and such is not repressed here at all, its not even a place like that, its a place thats pretty open you can be yourself, i never felt like there was dislike for me for being transgendered, when i wore all womens clothing etc... it only come from the people i was living with who would take me clothes and make it some huge deal, but outside, no one did anything, its like an open minded place

 Happiness Spell

        *cast this spell by breathing while thinking about ducks*

        - Courtesy of the Duck Goddess Weyawel

*practices zazen*

btw it wasn't always like that, it used to be truly chaotic, not just a bunch of awkwardly placed outward sign... now its like i cant even really go in because the outter is being so overbearing, its fake

maybe i dont have schizophrenia anymore... im okay with that im okay with either getting a job then or being homeless, i dont like this, like we'll send you secret messages run our underground shit, you have no idea who we are or what its about, thats obviously stupid, the secret agent world is incredibly immature im not part of that, and i like raves, but im not a part of that whole matrix cult or whatever, or even the ff7 cult its not the game itself, its the philosophies and concepts which it talks about, which are probably from origins in this world

im not ur messenger or your mercenary im a person trying to meditate, im not a flag hugger, im just here, just because ur not wearing a flag or going aroud being stereotypical doesnt mean ur like trying to harm things no, its just the country is based on the initial agree that its a free country, and so i hold onto that freedom, not hurting anyone else, thats how i honor it, not some flag.. why do i care thats just the influence of monarchial traditions

11 yea, so join my
forum, its the new lycaeum, which was a message board for people who
used psychedelics, but then they started being obsessed with politics
and all negative and it sucked, but now we're making a new one...
share your rave, meditation or psychedelic experiences, art, stories,
converse or just write some random shit that makes no sense in a cool
way because ur either insanely visionary or ur just tripping that
hard, or both, or you just wanted to type something that made
absolutely no sense on a forum without being judged, thats beautiful

your free expressions will be respected here... they will be peaced
loved and united with a cow in outerspace who will rain the milk of
the Goddess down upon you... we only ask that people dont be mean to
eachother, stupidly negative, or write about violence or politics, but
writing about how weed (the ness) is amazing and why, thats okay...

u dont have to join just post


its the tripsitter. i saw it fully as it was it was astral wisdom
they spoke of these gods, they spoke of the grateful dead and then we
realized thats always how

it is, that is the revolution, they were the mystic at that point in
the freakout who helped
its never exactly how the history books say these are the paths of
ancient psychedlic nomads
living now fairy spirits healing but none of it is defined right you
can only see it really when

u trip it comes together fast enough and u can trustit enough the
plants open the way
and through the plants we travel philosophically by the matter of how
many platns we eat

and we went out and saw so much llughnasad, smoked and thought of bean
felt like he was there his

fairy spirit, it was a true rave, dont seek others to rave with just
rave often and for no

reason, they come to you in forms of the rainbow... lighter died,
looking at the flame is like


ego death

no id

saw a homeless guy gave him a dollar
meditated at the hospital

thought about the dragon felt like it was a brontosaurus, we were
feeding its food, the recycling

and it showed us stuff.. flying brontosaurus, it would go and eat
things like that pyramid and

stop the bad, it was a friend, ide known sense a kid when i started
blazing i would see again and

now again, sidhe was like im from erin and i do recycle styrofoam

woah sacred trickster, it all makes sense now.

its just another one of those things not what it seems, shun
conventional history
this was like irish upbringing

sang huu again, it because haikus, it was like speaking with every
voice, sayingeverything at the

same time... such a deep song

the pyramid fits into stonehenge always does they balance eachother
out individual doesnt eclipse

group, group doesnt eclipse individual (yin and yang, incomplete
without eachother)


the poem of the voice is often mangled by words
the magic of letters is often lost with meaning
the individual is often mangled by the family

so lets lose words
yet it is completed
by om

i am home

lugh has brought it all here

and the apple cider we bought for 2 dollars, it says 1/2 gal

and we got it, it was like half handed cloud that band
funny name but yea
it describes us, i am winkte half hand half foot half gal, half guy for me
for us, together as one

and the song 'animals are cut in two'
but its counting fruit at animals, apple, cut in two
you get a pentagram, an it harm none, it doesnt hurt the apple, it
lets the seeds out

so we are here, we are the pagans that the times called for in 2012
we defeated sacramentally the kundalini mystery, the 'neuroslicer',
'genesplicer' and found a

deeper friend
on brontosaurus hill
again who teaches in the stories the magical connects and enigma of
everything, without

disrupting its essence by living in the world, by doing it on the
outside not the inside, but the

inside still feels it, its just not forced

our friend in philosophi homea

this isn't georgia, or randolph
this is homa
and itll always be really balanced and paradoxical kind of,
its maryland, the only one to defeat is the self,
its a good place its not really north or south or east or west
its a place where you forget about directions, a place of tao
good people, amazing stories, and much sacredness, and spiritual wisdom
a very goodhearted trickster spirit
true neutral...

firinne gun taobh

all the spirits were happy everyone was there it was lughnasadh we had
whipped cream we still
needed a lighter so we went out to get one
maryland shamanism

now out least have my phone gonna rave in the nitrous world we are
bless the sidhe who helped us

see this truth at last now blessed be

theres love and peace

raving wanti

this is the kind of legendary stuff that happens on a good trip

the people would protect us from vampires

the fairy community has been talking about this

waiting for it to happen awesome
so glad to be on the maryland ship i actually dig this tribe we do and
they get us
they get that in wanti everyones winkte
no one is trying to have monopoly on any of these terms

went out to the woods, we made the pentagram
then broke it
honoring lughnasadh and all the gods and the witch of that wood
smoked some herb
casting a protection spell for our own fortunes and for the prosperity
and fertility of the wood

and all nature around there and all beings

there were deer all around
then we found a trees its roots looked like the sticks of the broken
pentagram, we stared into

this leaf for so long, it felt good to be in the trees healing again

then another leaf there was an intricate message written on it in a
picture language, there was a

pipe and a moonlike figure sitting on a cloud, and drops of dew made
these dynamic droplet forms

that looked so beautiful, then there was a person an orange person
dressed in green

on the tree, it was a tree a branch of a tree we knew, now you
continue your story with us, woods

of this land, we said, glad to be really back, hugging and praying in
the trees, among the deer,

fellow celebrants. we were living in that tree.

we did the nitrous, it was like our wedding kind of. went so far out,
i forget it but it was deep

total reconnection at the end there was a voice that said wanti
witches are doing a lot to help


and the sisterhood was about

on the way back we thought about the community of basendra users, the
trip reports available seem

to mostly be of those trying it for the first time, where is the
crone Bessendra community?

the plant doesnt want you to know if its that plant or the plants
around you, or if its you, its

a combination of all those things, you learn how to trip more, and you
bring your spirit to that

place, drawing always nearer and finally you are there.

you realize you have to define things for yourself, there are probably
so many others who have

defined it in other places and we are all selflessly unknowing
connected through the plant


i seem to be able to see more, it seems to be something that i should
be doing, something

healthy, i consider it the same as dmt, you can have the same kind of
insights with equal value

of putting the soul to peace, feeling like you have seen the harmony
of all things, you just have

to put a little elbow grease into it.

and the fact that all this stuff is happening around it is just a
testament to the powerful auric

energies of the plant, and shamanic workings in general, i believe i
am a shaman, we see out into

all worlds, we see the world from which we came moreso, the world of
shamans is different, but

shamans travel far from that world, to weave in all worlds, and really
everything is shaman.

we can trust it, the energies are aligned, it has been handled
shamanically everything is right,

everything is beautiful.

we left offerings of cannabis and bread

returned home now, amazing trip, amazing, feel at home, understand it all,

its like a dharmic transmission from the plant world, zen and peace,
the plant world, that

connects us all deeper relations to everything because of that and
deeper acknowledgement of our

place in the universe, of our path, though it may seem awkward has grace.

connected back to wanti, back to the full animistic world, fully restored.

we are aisha and flo fleming linole

everything is in harmony,
this pagan world, magic is alive again everywhere
we love tripping, its something we are really passionate about,
tripping is a healing magic, but its difficult to understand it can't
be explained, but a shaman always just knows

later we saw that same scene from the dew on the leaf in the sky it
was light descending from a hole in the clouds so beautiful, it was
all right, it was an angel witch standing on a broom of light that
turned into a mushroom
such intense imagery of the goddess, all plants were sacred they all
spoke, the whole community of plants, the whole community of anarchy
as it truly is, not riots, but just intelligence, the community of
magic, i was seeing all of it, living in my own way, found the tribe
awesomeness, happy in the universe, able to lend healing energies to
anything at this point just sending love and healing and joy
psychedelically in every direction everywhere through all time

life is a song, its being sung to us, we're all doing it to eachother,
iduno if we know it or not, its not the words, but it uses the words
for a wierd effect

its a wierd phenomenon but definitely real,

eventually this magical song, which is what it is, nature, metarra,
its going to tell us how to trip out in more and more profound ways,
become wiser.. thats all it does, it teaches the dance of the
universal spheres...

walking along the streetlights turned into these huge angels and in
every light there were all these mushroom beings dancing

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / Lughnasadh Trip and Brontesaurus Hill,
« on: July 20, 2012, 04:02:59 am »
Lughnasadh Trip and Brontesaurus Hill,(note: i feel that having so much focus upon me goes against tao)

elder woodrose

after reading some of the trip reports on basendra i had an odd
feeling the internet was trying

to coordinate my life, it seemed like they all knew and were making a
path for me, whether i

liked it or not, but more or less with love, i was at the center of
some kind of rave storm.
the guy who i had recently moved in with had a dog named charlie, and
i had met these pagans on

youtube, one of whom was also named charlie and somehow they did seem
connected. She reminded me

of someone i went to highschool with, but then she moved back to
peurto rico, we would talk

sometimes on the bus, but she just seemed more popular than me, in
another circle, she wanted to

try shrooms and her mom did reiki. one day she talked to me about how
her friend and her were

planning the communist revolution and if i wanted to join

i was more of an anarchist

now she returned again in another form, it had to mean something. she
made a video about lucid

dreaming, and the trip reports, i can't explain how but they seemed to
point to another persons

video on lucid dreaming, a guy who looked a lot like a girl.

maybe these were the bi-sexual spirit beings both in the internet
world and out, wholistic beings

who could help me
it seemed like flo was kind of like this too, and really everyone.

i was a part of their tribe on the internet, and these seeds had
something to do with it.

it was about april 23.... my birthday... they were showing the trail,
the fairy trail, into the

psychedelic community, things were lining up, it wasn't going to
happen in the same way, but

messages could go out, real healing vibrations, just in this way.

i noticed also, all the people on erowid would always talk about their
girlfriend, and it just

seemed funny, did they all really have a girlfriend who would trip
with them like that? or was it

just a shaman, was it just one shaman, writing all of the stories?

i felt like i was meeting more people raving, i was living my life and
finally meeting people who

understood me, outside of our tribal spell, which gave me a home.

i was talking to the animals, the whole medicine circle, the hippie
ways were coming alive,

there was a church right outside our neighborhood with a huge triangle
sign that looked like a

pyramid i thought it was hypocritical,

it all seemed like a huge pyramid scheme. but slowly it was getting
better. i had trust more in

the circles. i would meet people on the internet and then it would
seem like they would leave

signs of being there, near me, in the recycling, like they were all
watching me each day, and i

was helping them all reincarnate, until they reached nirvana.

i am diagnosed with schizophrenia, but i swear it all follows like an
arcane order, i dont see it

as schizophrenia but a psychic sensitivity or call to shamanism. we
had moved to a place called

aspen hill, on youtube also, the druids there seemed to mention it, as
a place that they were

present, in going along recycling, there was a sign someone put in the
grass saying it was for

real estate, i took it down and recycled it also. It was Open I
remembered, because I'm learning

gaelic that Druid in gaelic means Shut in this case it was a good
thing. The teaching that the

land cannot be owned.

aspen hill is a shopping center... it looks like a dragon, i think its
a metaphor, for the

kundalini energy, there is a K mart down the street from it, and Home
Depot on the other side of

the street. and as you walk the gas stations begin to look like a
dragons head, at least they did

when i was high, and that huge K mart sign above it. Also, down the
street in the opposite

direction on one side there is another church, and the other side of
the road a huge tube.

on the bridge there is both I love you, but then it says Faggot in
another place.

this is the place the internet was talking about, they were the ones
who were reaching out to me,

trying to shepherd me along, this place is sacred to the Divine
Feminine. But I felt too much

dragon imagery, I would have to defeat the dragon in some way, or at
least prove myself against


I saw they were the reason. I was tired of being followed, led along
through everything, everyone

being a part of it, me being the only one left out.

I recycled everyday and added my own writing to the bridge, a
pentagram and a spell, Aeris, I

identified with her. I also wrote about paganism. I didn't want to
discriminate against the

dragon, but I am practicing Irish witchcraft. We had to find our
group, maybe someone would

appear, after a while, maybe this is where it had to end.

been listening to so much drum n bass, it all seems so archetypal,
this is true zen. I am

schizophrenic, but Christ is not my medicine (as if so often pushed
for some reason especially upon the schizophrenic community), cannabis
is, and sometimes tripping. I was tired of

the dishonestly of the antiquated paradigm of it all. the same
initials began appearing of the

guy who abused me, through the illusion, so the voices told me. I went
across the street, i left the huge yellow tube on the other side, it

symbolic of the dragon, i was closer to the church, but it wasn't that either
its like they wanted me to have no place to go. they were all doing it
on purpose. bringing it up

again and again, it was something bigger, it had to do with the patriarchy.

It was celtic spirituality, the traditional vision, thats why they
have so many crosses, i

understood but the cross isn't christianity, the cross existed before
that. all the badness was

the dragon.

I was returning to the truth, my true family i had seen, because
everyone was sick, the system

made them sick tried to program them. In the mundane world, they
didn't accept me, but i kept

having visions that they were there, they understood what i was
struggling with, they were

helping me, they couldn't as much physically because of the church.

the christians had a monopoly on the schizophrenic healing, they would
try to force it all into

their paradigm but that wasn't helpful it was too dualistic.

i kept it pagan. i am a black person but i don't feel so connected to
african spiritualities, i

feel saddened at rastafari, for all of its condemnation and hypocrisy.
i am more comfortable

piecing together the mythologies of all peoples and the mythology of
my own personal experience

into this moving model that reflects the psyche and spirit beyond time.

it was a shamanic calling. i had always done that, since i would read
greek and egyptian mythology and king arthur as a kid and connect
them, they always seemed so similar. first i felt

native american, then celtic, and flemish, is my family, from
flanders. is that really me? its

what i feel, somehow my spirit had been caught in the void, and
randomly ended here. because my

true being is so old, so wise. has not died (fairies have very long
lives, i think i have been reborn at the different stages of my life,
but this is still in essence the same life)

maybe they were all waiting on me, i really was an old druid, i did
have the truth, a very

special truth, i have always felt like one, and now things were
strange all the forums had banned

me for writing about wantis, saying it was incoherent. I didn't feel
it was incoherent, just


it was alchemical almost, like it could have been something from a
movie or something. i didn't

want to be associated with masons though, or rosicrucians, or aliester
crowley, that was

something else, not that it was defaultly bad, but it just wasn't me.
the people who seemed to be

against me, trying to pain me associated with satan and with egyptian, hindu.

in the end it was just hippieness, gypsyness, pure and simple, it
seemed. i was truly not with

them, they were not the guru, or the baba, i never had a guru like
that. i was never for the

guru, though i listened to ram dass and respected it, also leary, and
i practiced devotional

yoga, i felt a deep mystical love and powerful spiritual awakening in
teenage years, for the

Goddess, for God, now I use the names, the names of the Pagan Gods, of
many pantheons, many faiths,

I see that all species and gendered and spiritualities are archetypes
of the essential spirit and

thus are part of us all.

i like that my worldview doesn't fit in with the conventional world,
its non traditional in a

sense, its truly me own, yet it is rooted in something, in the
tradition of wantism, i feel

connected to that, that there is an order to it which i can't fully
express. and there are those

who came before me who lived and felt similar. i've felt deep
connections and all this makes me

feel like they are out there even now and we do know eachother, but
mostly we meet magically its

like the moon, there are some physical signs though and those are
important. its all like a

universal pattern, its the spiral. the galaxy, the cosmos. Always they
were trying to speak upon

it, saying it was not what it truly was, but the truth came back again
and again, just because

they would say those things, tht was not the essense of what it was,
just like with zen, they say

its patriarchal, but you get over that, and you just live in the
moment and do it and you are so

much happier, eventually you learn fools will always talk but the
truth is deeper than that.

its now lughnasadh. i'm going to trip, i've just started my own forum,
its to gather with people

like me, because the other forums for schizophrenia seem to be just
about moderators having a

power trip and freaking out people who want comfort even more, causing
huge drama and making it

all seem fake. and the other forums for psychedelic community, idunno,
i just dont feel at home

there. this is different. i can trust it, because i know its me, and
even if no one else writes

there, its okay.

i feel like this connects to the tuatha de danann, the people of danu,
but the more i say that

the more it seems like a cult, and thats not really the energy that i
want to invoke.

but you know, maybe its really true, its a fairy revival, and the
teaching is you can never truly

lose your spirit, but you can truly wander freely, the sidhe are the
most solar of them, and they can take us back to our true

roots, because they know of many worlds besides the ones which are
recorded associated with them. beyond the roman/christianized
recording of history

i'm coming together i feel with people, and seeing their native side,
native roots of all people,

because africa, its ways are too hidden, though i would like to
sometimes, i cannot penetrate there i must just take whats inside

and go with that, thats still native, native to the present moment,
but its just as significant,

it might have to appear in a different way but its just as authentic,
just as ancient, its like

the rainbow family, these rainbow beings, here, beyond race, its
beyond that, thats only seem as

a totem, communication beyond all that with the planet the universe
itself, thats where we are

really at, though we spend much of the time asleep, from tripping i
learned that its actually all

significant, everything, it shows you, it shows you about the
universe. so i stop fighting and

just live my own life. i started being myself. i rejected the image of
what i was supposed to be,

i found my true self, i can tell the old world is still apprehensive
about it, but what does it

matter, this is the realness, two dimensional decolonizers (TDD aka
tuatha de danann)

the truth is that world is mostly illusion, the tribal reality is so
alive now, i can't see it

fully, none of us fully understand, but this is the truth, 2012, its
real. there is a deep

healing happening. it goes beyond the rules of the status quo, but its
more alive, its more real.

kindred spirits everywhere, there is so much love, there is no
hierarchy, people just realize,

they can do what they want, this way of life, this wanti way, which
grew in me, which is the true

me, the world understands it. sometimes i think they all talk to me
secretly for a reason, its

all kind of a game, its for the feelings of it, and for the joy. its
because what else is there,

everything is pure energy, its always pure energy, there is no time
all times happen at once.

everything is natural, all of it is a plant. i feel so much but i
haven't even taken the seeds

yet. its like our minds are already there connecting psychically with
the earth spirit of the

plant, and its all going through the internet and its breaking down,
the ignorance on the

internet, its psychedelic research, they called me out, they saw how
trippy it was, they did it

in a covert way, on the internet for psychedelic research if you
search it, the last update for

one of the sites is on my birthday 4/23
thats how its happening, its all astrological, i am like the fairy
queen, at the festival for

now, i wrote on lycaeum and something real was created from that...
then i was called to be more

in my immediate community, but still internet, just not forums,
facebook, emailing friends.
working on bridging the internet without it becoming something
robotic, how internet can really

be a good thing.

i won't shirk from it, i am schizophrenic and its 2012, and the
universe seems to be speaking to

me directly, i love the universe... i love everything, mystical love,
divine love it is, but none

of it expresses it, yet all of it is perfect, thats just how we
communicate and we do help

eachother... the dragon just represents the universe, the spirit as it
flies in that form
in the street names it makes it seem like so many dragon eggs, or are
they changeling children,

or mushrooms?
or is it all one,thats the gift, its the rainbow
the kundalini has all forms none of them are default forms, i did feel
like a dragon, but i also

felt more like a fairy, and also like a porcupine, and a female,
though i am male, its always

changing, even my name,, thats the true essence of who we are, its not
about a physical place,

but spirit, that can immediately take us there, tao.

so i can just look at it, and see it as an ancient being, and they are
all ancient beings, and we

are all teaching eachother in these ways, we may not even realize, and
we are all one spirit. and

the ego is gone, its not one default form, its always changing, always
flowing, not steady... so

where am i from, everywhere... and my name is everything. its a wierd
druid order, its something

ancient, its something beyond time. its not really manipulation but
its cosmic law playing out,

as karma fades away, we see more of the truth.

its all witchcraft, what is writing that on the internet going to do?
what is being so open going

to do, surrendering to Goddess/God

hopefully find the true cure, not holding back, not pretending to have
false limitation, truly

trying to heal.

that church had the pyramid, they admitted, they themselves are the
limitation, we go beyond that,

admit we are truly alive, the story is being written right now, not
then. do we keep it out of that circle?

now i felt like i was in the huge ship this huge circle and everyone
mumbling around me, its like

the bad thing had happened and we are there.
we are here earth worshippers, fairies, elves, gnomes, good spirits,
even a crazy dragon,

skeleton, this is the city of the ancients.

its like being in final fantasy 7, it was real, i had seen it so many
places, i had lived that

life, it was showing me things from my past life, which connected me,
in this life, and made me a

priestess here too. these were the wise ones they had taken the
medicine too, who i lived with,

i had this faith they were all truly with me, and that they were all
the sidhe, and it was a fairy

story, which was the true dna, in the story... all those beings, all
that we see around us, it

shows us the true family, its not something conceptual. that was too
limited, but in all the

stories, there was truth, the truth of nowness. in a way that was just
as real as they genetic

stuff, but a lot less dangerous to mess around with.

i am a story teller, i am a story teller, im tripping in a way which
is just mine. this is what

the ancients did, there was no one telling them to all trip in the same way,

i took 5 shrooms.

i wonder if i was being watched and judged for breaking away and being
or was it just like an acid test, like you get what you deserve in a
situation like that, slowly

as you change your ways, its not always against you. it was never
really against me, but i wasn't

for me either, it was just neutral. being neutral i found the center.

i realized the acid test was an ancient sigil, we had a book and it
seems like we were written

into it, it tried to bind us to certain concepts, its just the degree
of ego death thats

happening, that you start to see yourself like that.

and you go into that solar world and see the mystery, i trusted that
my spirit was there, i

trusted i would see what i must see, i trusted that i was healed in
the way i must, i saw it was

something ancient mysterious, it was wanti and many things.

it was like being inside of the acid, it was magic, timelessness, deep
kabbalah, porcupine


we should destroy and make that guy stop stalking people in the name of true hippieness!

i live in a hick town, harpers ferry west virginia, its way are
antiquated and everyone seems like they want to roleplay something or
other about histry, if you are into zen, this is not particularly
appealing, but on the brightside concealed within the aura of 1830s
boringness, there is one of the best systems of recycling i've ever
seen, there are recycling bins openly publically available here, and
even this huge coffin like looking recycling containers located behind
one of the old historical houses, next to some plants seedlings that
are marked to have been planted on 4/20

what i see among it all is the hippie spirit at work, in a camouflaged way.

you have to see through the supposed anger of people that is truly
from the past or assumptions about west virginia and realize the
entire thing is basically a museum and then it can be used to its full

my approach is i dont care about the past, i care about the earth
right now. i recycle and plant as many trees as possible.

everyone in town seems to be either trying to imitate erowid, and then
do it in the worst way, like a scientist constantly asking you how you
are feeling
so much so that you can't really develop a strong feeling because you
are constantly being interrogated, and can't focus on the feeling, the
entheogenic faith is strong here as in all places, but as always if
you are truly serious its probably best to do it alone or with someone
who truly regards them with sanctity and doesn't try to direct it and
control the experience with their ego, only for the exterior social
aspect, and this can be hard to find.

or they are in some kind of youtube video, which references them, as
is the case with me, i didn't have a say that i would be included in
the video, apparently they just made one
probably it was some kind of alchemical plan which brought us all together

many community members have native american ancestry, cherokee,
choctaw, chickasaw so perhaps in a sense its also like a kind of

our goal as a community is to overcome the hang ups on the history,
which keeps up the aesthetic of colonialized, overblown monarchy,
focusing on all the hypocrisies of america, and basically making it
into a place of psychological bondage, and to bring the focus and
statement of the town more to nature, which it is totally surrounded
with, so much beauty, if you are not distracted and drawn in by the
letters and the signs, and have a clear enough mind to perceive it,
there is much to learn about nature here, and there are many fairies
and magical beings, who are not at all malevolent but very kind and

the only real fear is coming from the compulsion to continue the
stories of history and transform every into a history book, which
keeps those spirits unrested, and thus angers them. but thats not the
full true history, to really understand, you have to understand
america, what is it really about? its about freedom, its not about a
bunch of flags, its about living happily in the world without other
people trying to control your beliefs and what not

rather than repeat the history over and over again in a drama type
production i think we can actually continue the abolitionist work
here, which was began long ago, by liberating our own minds and
perceptions from the constrains of the system which is vampiric, and
leaving behind ignorance. Through meditation, leaving colonialization,
leaving monarchy all of this goes against what america is really about
we must remember, even the official manifestation of our government
today sadly goes against that because they have adopted a monarchial
aesthetic, of ruling over instead of working with, i believe the only
way to heal this wound is through the legalization of cannabis and the
end of the immature  fear surrounding free thought, in which people
become paranoid and self regulate themselves when really there is no
reason to because free thought is what we should be having innovative
ideas and people willing to act on them and try to bring them into
existence, as long as they are not violent.

im just going to start yelling that at everyone
i will force them to relax
you wait and see

*world peace*
thats how wars should be fought they should just be running (or walking) up to
eachother, and telling eachother to relax and in the end the ones with
the most standing up still win but in a way the ones who are laying
down also win because
its not a bad position to be in
in the context of existence in general

thats the kind of 'civil' war i am talking about, and that still goes
on, obviously the place is a hotbed for psychological folk, once again
trying to shape us into stereotypical roles and ensure nothing large
ever changes but you know what?

it doesnt really effect us, we are relaxed, we go to the beaches, and
we protect them, we live a modern live, we walk the lower town area,
and it can be seen as a meditative labyrinth instead of a history
tour, and this elevates the experience to a state of kind of zen

because we have been revolutionary all of this had been set up for us.
it is like a psychological experiment, kind of like the world of

and because of ayahuasca, and they are like, Dee, you are a black
celt, thats the means by which you can overcome this harsh duality as
you walk through the town, and its what you've always felt in your
heart, this is a place where fairy history can be known to, and a
place sacred to Hekate.

this is the return of tir na nog and the end of the journey all the
synchronicities were they real? the connections to my true family, all
of that seems to live here,
it seems to be a miraculous mix of all the aspects of what i learned
joined with the old aspects that were in me and in recent years have
a real rainbow family, i sense my family among all the things of this
place, a fairy family, a spirit family, an anima family, a tribe, not
based on race, not based on blood, but just based on the fact that we
are here, natives of the present moment, and this is the means by
which we overcome the divisions which are assumed on us, which we must
wear and which are painted anachronistically upon the buildings. the
old lives anew, its not about history, its about the joy of it, the
spirit of it, the absurdity of it, once more i hear the joke, its not
at all serious, this life is not a all serious

finally i understand again, yet indeed, it is.

for even my friends are here, their ghosts, their shells, there is
max, he is the hannah's restaurant, where they come out yelling pagan
dude, though i am a woman and offer me food, and we smoke bowls in the
backroom and they talk about the bullshit distractions they are
putting in the news these days and the guy gropes the women like
bacchus from a greek painting its a bit alarming but they don't seem
to mind too much, and theres mel, she is next to the pizza restaurant,
in the window, looking stereotypical, i dont pass there too much
because next to the pizza restaurant on the other side is a mason
lodge, but i figure if you dont bother them, they dont bother you....

there is a orange van with the word gary painted on it, like the snail
from spongebob squarepants, because thats the kind of existence this
is, and then next to our home, upon the hill, theres the plastic
yellow ribbon symbolizing the video which references me, its straight
out of the videos...

so if we live here, it must be performance, this is ayahuasca
shamanism, but its not real, its too glitzy,

all of life is but a stage, i feel like a king here. its all so awkward.

and everyone is far away, but its art.

i'm the one who refuses to go the historical route, the traditional
route, i am the environmentalist, i am evolution, i am revolution, i
am the harpers ferry yoga scene.

this has been set up by the radical fairies, i am pretty sure. its
kind of sad realizing you can't really be alone, they will always be
assuming things.

you can't have recycling without reincarnation they say, but here we
are like the gods, we are the tuatha de danann, we carry the souls of
the dead, symbolized by recyclable materials after their death,
through the world of spirit and bring them to the recycling bins, but
the reincarnation will not be more of the same, it will be different
and i like to think for every new tree planted and everything
recycled, we are helping to break down past karmas even in ourselves,
and eventually create something amazing, we almost had it here, but it
was made sour by the movie type stuff happening, the behind the scenes

everytime we recycle we come closer to breaking free from these stereotypes.

we are not the ancient hebrews, or the ancient egyptians, nor the
ancient celts or the ancient africans but its their spirits we pass
through and help to be purified  of the ego illusion and return to
oneness, as we do this the power of the stereotypes fade away, its no
longer about these labels, even hippie but just it has become relaxed,
we look at the absurdity of the world around us,
we thank the spirit of ireland, and we go on with the game.
knowing that it is the past, and what will arise our psyches because of it?
this is a place of the psyche.
it is said that most racism is psycholigical, and i believe thats
true, it takes a lot of patience sometimes, because people try to
manifest that...
even people within your own family, they want to believe racism
exists, but for me its more important to believe it doesnt exist...
it did in the past, we can't deny that, but now, not really, but to
really end it, we would have to leave this tradition of christianity.
and sadly no one is willing to do that, so all i have is myself and
these writings, writings of wanti, of the Goddess of the ultimate
reality, and the world beyond these bodies and this status quo. that
world lives here too.

we realize they just want to cause us stress to keep their system
going, but we refuse to be stressed, refuse to worry, only loving,
only loving, perhaps that makes us perverted, thats what they want to
force... thats the path they have magnetized, hoping everyone would
shirk away, or else actually become perverted,

they are the ones who cause the abuse, through their videos of voodoo,
and bring us to the moment of zen,

"One day while walking through the wilderness a man stumbled upon a
vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff.
Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the
fatal precipice. As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in
the cliff and began gnawing on the vine. Suddenly, he noticed on the
vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his
mouth. It was incredibly delicious!"

though perhaps we'll never know the origins of the ones who have
organized this around us for sure, instead of complaining about it, we
can just enjoy life as much as possible.

accept it as something that is meant to keep us humble, even if it is
a bit uncomfortable at times. and perhaps it really is real magic,
having to do with twin spirits, and things.

but we will never become clones. judaism still lives here, thats all
that it means, we are kabbalistic, flying through the spiritual world,
but judaism is alive, in the chaotic way of the psyche.

light and dark are still seperated, though in a sense we have come
together also, what can we do now but surrender. hoping to be able to
disappear into obscurity again. having trust in the least likely
place, perhaps being misunderstood.

hinduism also lives here, because we know we cannot rule over the
earth, but must care and love all nature, and in the reincarnation
that happens, though hinduism is the same as paganism, hinduism has
more of an aura of morality, though in truth paganism is also moral
its just been spoken badly of by those who have been against it, we
accept all ways not just one, but all ways as manifestation of one.

the buddha also lives here, and the rainbow body, these are the secret
gifts of the spirit, folks and beings of many cultures live here. and
we do our best to be in harmony with nature, and we are

the pagan lives here...

even the yomo lives here. its only in words that light and dark are
separated because everywhere else they are coming together, words are
just words, but life is life, so much beyond words, so much beyond
names, names aren't important here, if you can see beyond that, then
you are in heaven, then you see the true miracle of judaism, was it
really the water that was separated or was it the words which were
made clear and thus the mind cleared and brought back to its original
freedom, and original intuitive morality of gentleness, without
thought of reward but just for the sake of gentleness.

christ lives here too and there is a secret harmony to it all, all the
meeting of all these dimensions, now we understand and the medicine
wheel is fulfilled, now coming as far as alaska, but undeniably right
here, the far away is here, by the blessing of Hecate all manner of
spirits together so diverse and yet digging in the same way, just as
was prophecied.

so we live our lives, we pass on our joy we express our love and our
visions and yeah... we relax and realize its all infinite and

and perhaps most of all the Tree of Life lives here in harpers ferry
and verily everywhere! we can all come together in some way around
cannabis, hemp, just as it happened in the beginning, and feel its
sacred energy and just dig the mystery of this universe, in happiness
and peace, and love, and varying degrees of bohemia.

eff corporations!

oh yeah and dischordianism lives here

and i think it must all be being controlled by,
who are making the videos abut us and bringing us together

curses be to that side, taking things way too far and invading folks
privacy apparently this was set up years in advance.

I appeal to the people who do that for compassion, not trying to make
this into a reality, of forced incest and psychological rape
surrounding us everywhere, its not a good basis for our lives, nor is
it true paganism..

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