Messages

*opens novel to random page*

"Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them."

...Wow. I kinda like that.

Why? I have it in print right in front of me. I can't read on the screen anyway because after a while it makes my eyes jump really bad.

...I'm posting this for the lulz, because seriously at this moment I'm reading Star Wars X-Wing : Rogue Squadron. The first in Michael Stackpole's series.

We have a library between a few of us here at work, so I was looking for some fast entertainment. I first read this one in high school.

In addition to that though I picked up a copy of 1984 from my parents while in Florida who didn't have a clue that they even had it. It's a bit too deep for at-work/commute reading, but the presence of it at my desk makes me look intelligent.

Perhaps you will inspire a change in his hair style?

*floored*

  The fuck?

I knew hundreds of Bosnian refugees while living in Florida. Ask THEM if it wasn't genocide...

Cain apparently has a doppelganger named Bill.

you know some of those are really good
seriously what the fuck happened to the Muslim world?
They used to be the more tolerant and enlightened of the major religous
and now they bomb KFC's cause of a cartoon

Entertaining armour plated medieval christian 'guests' will do that to ya.

It was a religious pilgrimage, I swear!

 

Two guys walk into a bar; the third one ducks.

I....am going to be in Florida.


*runs*

Disclaimer:  Most of the above mentioned data was "gathered" in Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, and Ontario.

That DOES explain quite a bit.

In other news, my office got a few new all-in-ones that put Staples to shame. I'm going to "test their features" later and assemble some of the Machine,Ñ¢ brochures for our break room.

Wow! So what you're saying is audi drivers in america are wankers too?

Silly - has 'keyed' more audi's and bmw's than any other lxury saloon. Fuck ze germans!

Considering that they are just luxury VW's, you think that they would take the hint.

I liked my Jetta, I hate your Audi. Get off of my fucking road so I can blow past you, in my 4-banger, and look much cuter in the process.

(This isn't a sermon, just a short letter to my new friend...)

*ahem*

Dear Mister "I'm hawt shit in my car",

What is the point of owning a V8 compact car? You won't be towing a boat or hauling anything in your Audi. So why did you pay so much more to upgrade not 2 cylinders, but 4 cylinders from the regular 4-banger? I'm sure the wheels will move just the same, and the Masspike is NOT the Autobahn. It's not worth it the amount of gas it will take you to go from Back Bay to the BCEC. Sorry.

Also, why are you talking on your phone with one hand, picking your nose with the other, and trying to turn onto South Street at the same time? I don't know HOW you're doing it, but I see no hands on your wheel, and it's kind of scaring me since I'm attempting to cross the street with my medium hot French vanilla extra-extra. Don't pretend like you don't see me, because I'm looking right at you. I see that pinkie in your nose...Maybe if you wouldn't snort up all that dust on your lunch break you would know that your knee is not an acceptable steering appendage.

Go ahead, hit me. Really, I dare you. Hit me. Because not only are you not yielding to a pedestrian, violating the law by talking on your cell or having both hands on your wheel, but you're also blowing a stop sign while turning onto a one-way street. I will rake you for what you are worth, and even take that shiny new Audi of your's while I'm at it. Oh, and you'll have to buy me another coffee too, because that last 2 dollars I spent on it is the last of my cash for 11 days.

Thanks.