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Messages - Fujikoma

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Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 02:24:28 am »
Leading to a rolling shitball effect... Heaven help those wrecked souls, splattered by the ever-expanding shitmonster.

Or Kill Me / Re: Rant, rant, rant
« on: June 29, 2010, 02:23:06 am »
Could start a fire, always cheers me up.

Seriously, though... Sorry to hear that, hope you get to feeling better.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 02:20:54 am »
Positions of power naturally draw abusers and power mongers, just as shit draws flies.

Or Kill Me / Re: Conversations from hell
« on: June 29, 2010, 01:51:43 am »
Great stories, man, I was riveted to the chair the whole time, and I had lots of shit to do...

I'm just glad I've managed to avoid one of those hospitals the times I've done something dangerous enough to get me locked up in one of them. I came REALLY close once, but the psychologist warned me, he said "Now, this question is important, and if you answer it one way, they'll have to put you in a special hospital, if you catch my drift.", I nodded, so he continued "Ok, do you think you might ever try something like that again?", worrying that I might need some kind of serious treatment, as what I was getting wasn't working very well, I paused for a moment, because I was thinking about doing something stupid that very moment, I still decided to answer "No.", to which he replied "Smart move, here's my card, if you ever need to talk about anything.".

I was pretty sure I didn't want to spend any time in a place like that, now that I've read these stories, I'm almost dead certain I made the right decision.

Or Kill Me / Re: He wasn't who he thought he was.
« on: June 29, 2010, 01:20:23 am »
That totally sucks... I've had something similar happen, but not identical...

Seems if the police mangle your home address on your check that they write you to compensate you for the money they took from you when you went to jail, no one will cash it for you. Luckily, one of my coworkers had an aunt who worked in a pawn shop, who agreed to cash the check.

Sometimes I have to get shitfaced drunk just to go to sleep... Otherwise I'll stay up for days. Then, sometimes, getting drunk enough to sleep causes me to sleep for days. It's not like that all the time, though. Sorry to hear you're developing such a tolerance.

Hahaha!... Those durned automated "teammates" would run halfway across the map, like they had some kind of magic nose for pills... The music changes, incomming attack

Francis: Grabbin' pills.
Bill: Oh god-fuck NO!

Yeah, I mostly stick to melatonin, DMAE, THC and alcohol these days, though the alcohol is a REALLY bad idea, it makes me feel better for a little while... Over the counter stuff, nothing too dangerous, except the melatonin might be dangerous, it helps with sleeping and keeps my mood a little more positive. DMAE is just a precursor for choline and acetyl-choline, and that seems to keep me rather stable for some reason I really can't figure out. THC keeps me mellow, and distracts me from negative emotions, but it's not like I use it all the time, only every once in a while, when I feel I REALLY need it.

I could go into more detail as far as things I've seen and done, but I think I've said enough for now... Some of it... Is really, really embarrassing, and I don't want to even think about it, much less talk about it.

I'm also not self-diagnosed, I was found playing matador with traffic on the interstate one day by a bunch of cops, with no memory of how I got there (though, I'm not certain what that has to do with anything, I was under a lot of stress, looking for a job on foot, sat down for a minute, and then *poof*, there I was in the road). I was diagnosed bipolar. I am currently self-medicated, as, well, they cost money, MHMR will no longer treat me due to a substance abuse problem and only one doctor there was qualified to deal with that stuff, as well, the meds caused me other problems that I didn't find acceptable (though I have seen them work very well for others).

I am sorry to hear about such misfortune. I've been seeing doctors my whole life because of behavioral issues, and it was always something different, but wrong... First it was a social anxiety disorder, then it was a cognitive disorder (which got me kicked out of the Army), then I just stopped looking for answers. I've spent my whole life wondering why people seem to have such an easy time with things which cause me great difficulty, I've lost friends, relatives stopped talking to me, I've only been able to develop working coping strategies recently. It's been trial and error up to this point, now, I'm a bit better off, but, I still have my moments.

In an effort to keep the situation from worsening, I have located words that some might find offensive and eliminated them. I hope that helps.

Or Kill Me / Re: The future doesn't want you
« on: June 28, 2010, 11:42:09 pm »
Where are you drawing these character archetypes from?... As I'd like to understand more about what you are saying.

I see. I'm not bragging, though.

Anyway, I am sorry if that kind of thing is offensive, and kind of pointless of me to even bring it up... I get your point, and this hopefully won't be an issue in the future. Thank you for taking the time to correct me.

Or Kill Me / Re: The future doesn't want you
« on: June 28, 2010, 11:33:41 pm »
And a clear perception is actually possible?... Or is it an illusion?

I find this topic of improving the future to be very thought provoking... I must profess my ignorance as to what E-prime is, if it's simply the realization that most of the things most people say are subjective and time sensitive, then, yeah, I can understand that. I agree with you, Dok, there's a time for stepping on toes, getting in peoples faces and letting them have it full force, but my personal preference is to reserve this tactic as a second to last resort, and instead attempt to understand my enemies, why they may be mad at me, and attempt to correct the issue, for when I make a friend of my enemies, do I not destroy them? (Was that Lincoln who said that? Or did something get scrambled somewhere?)

Whenever I encounter a situation where I feel I am treated unfairly, I start with the assumption that I did/am doing something to provoke the unwanted treatment, and begin going over my memory of what I have done, rather than searching for the problem in other people. More often than not, I'll realize I did something stupid, and I'll attempt to correct it, this usually fixes the problem. If this phase of my problem solving strategy returns nothing, then I will usually ask the parties from whom I perceive as the source of my mistreatment if I did something wrong, or something to upset them, and if there is a way this can be corrected.

If this reply is a stupid, irresponsible, blame everyone else but me kind of reply, guess what, out comes the shotgun, but more often than not, it turns out I overlooked something. In this way, I attempt to encourage peace and harmony among my coworkers and managers, and customers, and they notice, and when someone attempts to slander me, I have allies who stick up for me, make them feel stupid, and reveal them for what they really are.

I can really not afford to conduct myself in any other manner. There are times, yes, where I will get in a superior's face and tell them just how stupid their plan is... Usually, this is actually respected by the superior, and they will make efforts to change their behavior, but this is not a strategy I approach any problem with right off the bat.

Ah, well, just getting you all prepared for the day I eventually flip out (it WILL happen, unfortunately) and say some REALLY wild shit... Better you see it coming. I'll try to keep that sort of talk to a minimum.

And thank you for your compliment, Dok... I wasn't expecting that.

Glad to see that I have stumbled upon such an entertaining and informative group. I can only hope my own posts will be as useful to the community, as opposed to being tedious bullshit, which, it looks like they are fast approaching.

Or Kill Me / Re: Liberation is scary
« on: June 28, 2010, 10:17:56 pm »
I don't give a damn WHAT it means, I just think it sounds cool.

*flute solo*

EDIT: Actually, thanks for the explanation, I really appreciate it. Makes sense that way. I always kind of figured it meant the material world is deceptive in nature and that the limitations placed on us by authority figures and the law are illusory... "Think for yourself, schmuk." strikes me as more efficient and to the point, though, doesn't sound as cool.

EDIT EDIT: Or perhaps it means "Your head is full of shit, fucktard, you can never know anything of value, so go out there and do whatever strikes you as important, because it's all going to end the same way anyway."...?

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