Messages

31

Apple Talk / I like boobs

« on: July 23, 2004, 03:45:00 pm »

*signs up for the military*
*sitting in dentist's chair...* OK I want those subdermal muscle amplifiers, the eye-enhanced sub-corneal optics, the supermelanin gland, the penis extension and the venom glands under my tongue...

Heh heh heh heh



Military recruiter: Absolutley Mr. Trollax, you can get all that.


Dentist: Here, first we put you under.


Trollax: (wakes) Wow, now I've got ... WTF? ... 42DD BOOBS?!?!


Male Nurse: Ah, yeah, well, that's what they were practising this week, sorry.


Sergeant: Here's your M1, soldier. Welcome to Iraq. BTW, your tour of duty has just been extended by Rumsfeld to sixteen years.




Heh heh heh heh

32

Or Kill Me / Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5: Nazis never die.

« on: July 23, 2004, 04:28:31 am »

Seig Heil!

Nat Hentoff on Ghost Prisoners

33

Principia Discussion / I nominate George W Bush for Discordian Sainthood.

« on: June 28, 2004, 10:54:56 pm »

Wow...I go away for a couple of months and the DIA falls into ruins.  I'm going to have to avoid going so deep undercover in the future.

So, has everyone made up now?

The Commander
DIA

There are still all making fun of me, Commander. Could it be because behind my podium, I'm nekkid! I'm nekkid! Can't we all just get along? Sure I've made mistakes, even though I can't think of any right now. Maybe not invading North Korea. Do you think that is why they don't like me? Maybe if I invaded Sowaziland or East Burma or the North Pole. What do you think?

Heh heh heh.

34

Principia Discussion / Yeah!

« on: May 27, 2004, 05:15:08 am »

My fellow Americans.

::feedback::

Sorry. Heh heh heh.

I am pleased to accept my party's nomination for sainthood.

In the words of that great American, Yogi Berra, "I  want to thank you for making this day necessary."

Undoubtably many of you are thinking, what does the President of the United States have to do with Discordianism? The answer is, of course, nothing what so ever. But that never stopped Al Gore from inventing the internet and I whupped his ass. And I whupped Saddam Hussezitname.

This great honor I humbly accept in the tradition of all great American evangeli, er, Presidents. I remember when I first said, "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." It seemed just like yesterday.

And then I said, "Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." Doesn't that bring a tear to your eye?

In conclusion I want to say I did not collude with either Hotsuma or Prince Tacos Jonies for this honor. Whatever happens let the best man win and that best man is me or I am not my father's best man.

You may go back to working for Disney and McDonald's now.



Note: The password to President Bush is still in the public domain. ("GeorgeW") Doesn't anyone want to play?