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Topics - Freeky

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196
Apple Talk / Mistress Freeky is going crazy...
« on: November 28, 2009, 10:51:51 pm »
Last night, the garbage disposal backs up, and I don't know how to fix it. Today, friends get sick (or can't talk cuz they're too busy), the chicken that was supposed to be dinner is gone bad, and my almost two year old is being a two year old, except more so than usual. I have no way to get out of this house, I want some home-made tomato soup, and I'm already hoarse from screaming.

Shit sucks and then you die.

197
Discordian Recipes / Chicken nuggets
« on: November 28, 2009, 03:43:33 am »
I love chicken nuggets and I love chips. This is the best recipe ever combining both.

Boneless skinless chicken breasts (1 to 1 1/2 per person eating)
Two big bags potato chips, whatever flavor (i've yet only used sour cream and onion, but I bet BBQ would be tasty also... mmm, my favorite.)
           OR
Two boxes Ritz crackers
8 eggs


Cut up chicken into small, bitesized pieces. (Step 2) Crush 1/4 bag of chips or one pack of crackers into crumbs and put these in a bowl. (Step 3) Whisk four eggs with a fork. Preheat oven to 400F. Dunk chicken in eggs, then in chips/crackers, then place in a glass pan in one layer. When you run out of chips/crackers, or they get too damp from eggs, dump what's left and repeat Step 2. If eggs become too ucky, repeat Step 3. Cook in oven for 15 minutes. Remove and serve.

198
Discordian Recipes / Freeky's Holy Sex Beef
« on: November 25, 2009, 05:46:31 pm »
This is my favorite recipe for dinners that I made up without altering anything from anywhere.

6 - 7 pound chuck beef roast
1/2 cup juice (I usually use apple, but any clear juice will work)

THE BEST JUICE TO USE IS POMEGRANATE CHERRY. TRUST ME ON THIS.

Worcestershire
Terriyaki juice
Pepper, seasoned meat tenderizer, ginger, paprika, chili powder, thyme
1 - 2 TBSP liquid smoke


Tip: Don't trim the fat off your roast, as it adds flavor and can be drained off later, if it ends up being too much.

Cut the roast into 1/2 inch thick slabs and layer into crock pot. After each layer, season each side of the pieces of meat and splash with Worcestershire and terriyaki. After seasoning and layering all the meat, pour in the juice. Let cook on low for 4 hours, then on high for another 2-3 hours, and then turn back to low. If it seems soft enough, shred meat with some forks.

Half of the remaining liquid can be used in place of barbecue sauce. Or you can just use your favorite store brand, or use this one (it tastes great, but the texture is off. And makes the beef no longer holy sex.)

1 cup oil
2/3 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup honey
1 1/2 TBSP liquid smoke
1/2 TBSP mustard (yellow)
Paprika
Seasoned meat tenderizer
Tarragon

Mix all that up very well. Cover and refridgerate.

199
Or Kill Me / Just airing my thoughts.
« on: November 25, 2009, 01:56:27 am »
You know, I have a problem. My problem is that I'm too nice. Why should I think that? Well, I don't think I'm too nice, I know I am, I just can't define why. I can, however, give you examples of my nice-osity.

When I was with my ex, and during phases where the lies I told myself ("Oh yes, I'm very happy, why should I leave?") were wearing thin, and I grew unhappy enough to contemplate leaving him, I never went through with it because it would hurt him too much.

Up until a few days ago, I didn't want to apply for child support because I figured that the 200 a month, that's 200 dollars every thirty days so, would be plenty and I would have tons of money left over. And I didn't want to apply for it because that would inconvenice him, in no small degree.

And any situation where I don't tell my folks how completely they disgust me is proof enough of how generous I am, even if I am just doing it to keep the peace.

But you see, I'm tired of it all. I cannot stand how understanding I feel like I have to be. I can't handle giving a damn for every excuse, every story, every lie formulated for sympathy that comes my way. I'm tired of temporizing my every THOUGHT to include the ifs, buts, and exclusions that can and will arise to every statement I make.

I've got over 20 years of rage bottled up, and it's Contents Under Pressure, don't you doubt. I want to beat the crap out of people who make me mad. I want to be rude to random people on the street. I want to give two shits about whether or not I inadvertently offended someone.

And at the same time, I like being nice to some people. My friends for one, because you can't keep friends fif you're a dick all the time. I like being nice to people in person, or at least polite, and also on the internet, in case they want to be friends. And I think the biggest reason I have that keeps me nice all the time is that I can't stand myself when I'm not. I have literally been kept up at nights over some trivial little thing that might have been construed by the other party as a little bit rude.

And so I have come to you, PD, in hopes of being learning how to not care if people get angry, to not care if someone gets offended, and to learn how to think for myself. This sheep has a long way to go, though, I reckon.

Luffles, Mistress Freeky
The "Token" Sheep!

200
Apple Talk / His worst week ever.
« on: November 24, 2009, 05:42:43 pm »
My poor little guy. He's had a really bad week, and so far it hasn't ended. Last Tuesday he got a fever that he didn't get over until yesterday, but it went down over the weekend. Sunday, he fell off a high barstool. Yesterday, he fell in the fountain in the backyard, and then he got a poke and a prod in the ER for his rash. Today, he fell off the back of a chair and hit his ear and head on the printer table right next to it on the way down. I'm lucky that dice makes everything better...

201
Or Kill Me / Can I go Columbine Kid yet?
« on: November 24, 2009, 02:40:14 am »
My son has a rash. It has been spreading across his body alarmingly fo the past day, and caused me some concern. After my mom got home from eating lunch with a friend (and in the privacy in my mind when I found out, I asked, "You have a friend?") I asked her to take me to an emergency clinic. Despite its name, they do NOT accept walk-in patients. As I was finding this out and preparing to leave, TGRR called me to say that my son had called him this morning, and he was making sure that I got my phone back. I mentioned that he had a terrible rash, and he advised me to get him checked out as soon as possible, good enough advice for any symptom with no obvious cause. It turned out to be caused by a virus, and there's nothing they can do except wait it out, so the trip to the ER was informative, but still rather expensive for my broke ass. My mom and I returned home to find their new dog had got into my room and chewed some things up, and had got up on the table and eaten my son's newest pair of shoes (replacements for the ones she chewed up before).

After my dad got home later on, I could hear her bitching about how I thought she knew nothing (she never offered me advice on what to do, and after we left the hosptial she even said that it could have been something), and how I'd never get as much money from my ex for child support as I 'was led to believe' (she's never even had to deal with such things, nor has she, to my knowledge anyway, done any research on the subject), and how 'not smart' I am (my dad replied, "She's stupid!") and a whole lot of other ridiculous nonsense.

Where do they get off? I mean, really? What gives them the right to say nasty things in a voice loud enough to tell half the city what they think, especially about people they don't know? I am including myself in this category, because they don't really know anything about me, and this suits me fine. I mean, sure, its probably very stressful on them for me to move back in with no job or other income, but why does she have to get all melodramatic? "Ohhhh, I just want my life to end!" Direct quote. "I can't afford to keep doing this!" After finding what her stupid dog had done, and aimed at me, I could just tell. It's her fucking dog, maybe she ought to train the stupid idiot, or keep her outside, or put her in a crate when nobody ss home, instead of blaming me for everything.

And it's like this almost every day.  I am getting so sick of this shit, and I have nowhere else to go. Well, One thought that keeps rolling around in  my mind is, "You want your life to end? That can be arranged."

202
Discordian Recipes / Yummy good ground beef and rice stuff!
« on: November 23, 2009, 04:50:26 am »
This is really good, and I actually got this from my first ex.

Ground beef
Condensed cream of mushroom soup (as many cans as pounds of ground beef you are using [2 cans to 2 pounds])
1/2 as much milk as you would be using making the soup for real (1 can milk per 2 cans soup)
Rice (1 cup per 2 lbs meat)

Cook up ground beef. Don't forget to season well. Add cream of mushroom soup and milk. Let simmer on low for a while. The longer you do so, the better the taste will devolop. Stir frequently, so it won't burn. Cook rice and add just before serving. Enjoy!

203
Apple Talk / Tostitos = Home Dentistry
« on: November 22, 2009, 04:30:53 am »
So I had a molar pulled two months ago. It was a hellish ordeal for me because I metabolize the anisthetic quickly. And it makes me shake a lot, so I can't sit still. But anyway. When my dentist considered himself finished, I heard him say to the nurse "There's still a piece in there." Well, I wasn't going to do anything about it, they had to cut the bitch out while the numbness wore off and stabbed me in the cheek besides, so I was done with dentists for a while.

Today, I had half a big bag of Tostito chips, and just now I pulled a big piece of tooth out of my gums. I'm kind of relived, because I was worried that I'd have to go back to get it taken care of, and I already owe them money.

204
Discordian Recipes / Freeky's Tomato Soup Ambrosia
« on: November 19, 2009, 07:21:45 pm »
Yummies! SOO good to eat when you get teeth pulled...


Ingerdients:
2 1/2 - 3 pounds tomatoes
1 or 2 onions, whatever kind you like
8 cloves garlic
2 lbs carrots
oil
1 quart chicken stock
1/2 cup cream
Salt, pepper

Preheat oven to 375.
Quarter tomatoes, remove center parts and seeds. Peel and slice onion. Peel and dice carrots into small pieces, though if you have baby carrots, just use a meat tenderizer to smash them. Put vegetables into a large glass pan and add oil, making sure that everthing is coated. Salt and pepper it if you like. Put into oven and roast for 30 - 45 minutes, or until onions and tomatoes are carmelized.
 

Remove vegetables from oven and put them in the pot. Boil until it reduces by a third. Blender-fie, and let simmer for 20 more minutes, adding cream to tone down the spicy if needed. Enjoy thoroughly.

WHEN MAKING CHICKEN STOCK FOR THIS:

Use

1 whole fryer chicken
2 New Mexico chiles, roasted a few seconds over an open flame, de-stemmed and seeds removed
Hunk of fresh ginger
Black Pepper (lots)
White Pepper (lots)
Turmeric (1 TBSP)
1 orange, cut in half
1 1/2 garlic bulbs
Salt


Stick all that stuff in a pot and boil it up. Do whatever you like with the chicken when you're done. Shoot, put it in the soup!

205
Or Kill Me / I sometimes curse my silliness...
« on: November 19, 2009, 06:47:56 am »
Hokay, So this is my first day here, right, and I'm looking through old threads and whatnot, clicking links that I really shouldn't what with my fragile, naiive mindset and all, and I click on this one one....

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Offended    <------------NSFW
This one in fact. And so horrified was I that I came out of lurker mode to post about something possibly years old and pages upon pages back.

And now I can only think about the zombies. Yes, zombies.

I feel absolutely ridiculous, cuz I can't even walk down a semi-darkened hall without going "Hogosh, zombies are there???" I stood in the doorway of my bedroom fully five minutes to try and figure out why, with all the lights off, IT WAS SO DARK in one area of my bedroom. And I keep looking over my shoulder trying to catch the damn things sneaking up on me. The only thing that might walk out of thereright now is my cat, and I bet if he did, I'd jump out of my skin. I'm so distracted that I can't even type right, I have to keep going back and fixing stuff.


I just want to go to bed, and I can't even do that now. :argh!: Curse you zombies. And curse you, me.

206
Discordian Recipes / Freeky's Divine Apple Pie
« on: November 19, 2009, 02:31:30 am »
Yummy deliciousness.
(Edited for perfection.)
Beforehand, make sure applejack (find it at your local liquor store in the brandy section), butter and shortening are very cold.
All crust ingredients are cold.
Crust -
2 3/4 all purpose flour
1 1/2 sticks of butter (6 ounces or 3/4 cup)
1 tsp salt
3 TBSP sugar 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup of applejack minimum (substitute other liquid of choice) enough apple cider/juice (I used cider) to make it feel all velvety after you've finished adding the liquid.
2 ounces vegetable shortening
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp vanilla extract


Filling -
3 to 3 1/2 pounds apples (Galas, braeburn, and fuji.)
3 TBSP flour
2 TBSP apple jelly
1 TBSP apple cider or juice
Sugar
Clear vanilla extract (not clear, but non--imitation works fine too)
Almond extract
Orange extract

To make dough -
Mix together flour, salt, and sugar in a large bowl. Cut into small pieces the sticks of butter, mixing into the flour with a large fork as you go. Mashing it in there works pretty good to get it more broken up. Add applejack cider or juice a tablespoon or two at a time, until texture is soft and holds together well and has a velvety consistency but not very sticky. Divide into two halves, shape into discs, wrap in plastic wrap and stick in the fridge at least an hour.

Note: The smaller you cut the butter chunks, the less stirring you have to do. It wouldn't hurt to have some of the butter be room temp, either.

Note: Apple juice/apple and orange koolaid type stuff works pretty good too as the liquid.
The amount of liquid should be less than what I used, according to how damp a climate you live in.

To make the filling -
Peel core and slice apples. The smaller the slices the better. Coat each whole apple equivalent of slices  in 1/2 a tablespoon of sugar. Add to this a small amount of almond, vanilla, or orange extract, just enough to make all of the sugar damp but not enough to make it half-liquidy, about 1/4 teaspoon. Put apple slices in large colander over larger pot, put in refridgerator for  90 minutes Overnight. Take apples out, stir so that the apples on top get rotated with the ones underneath, and put them back in the fridge for another 90 minutes.  Take apples and put them in a large bowl, saving liquid in pot. mix into apple slices the flour, jelly, and cider or juice.


To assemble the pie -
Grease a pan (9 1/2" x 2" round, 8" x 8" x 2" square). Flour a clean counter top or large piece of parchment or wax paper. Take one disc of dough out, roll it until it is the thickness of 10 sheets of printer paper. Put dough in pan. Take apples and put down one layer of apples.  In center of pan put a pie bird or an aluminum foil cone. put remaning apples in, building a mound around the cone. Pour any liquid left over in the bowl the apples were in over the apples in the pie crust.


Take liquid in pot and set it to boil, but don't overboil it. While this is happening, rollout the second disc of dough. Cut out a hole in the center or lay strips around the aluminum foil cone. Press edges together. Brush reduced apple goop over top of crust. Preheat oven to 425 (you can do this while putting the filling in the crust), putting the pie back in the fridge if necessary. Put pie on floor of oven for twenty mintues to cook the bottom. Move to lowest rack position for another thirty minutes. Let cool for 4 hours before enjoying.

DO NOT put the pie on your oven's heating element if it has one. Obviously.
I hope it works out for you, if you use my recipe.

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