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Topics - Juana

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Apple Talk / ATTN: Amerispags
« on: July 30, 2011, 11:25:38 pm »
I have one google music invitation (sorry, Shoe Ears got first dibs). PM me your email if you want it.

Apple Talk / Mark Zuckerburg Quits Google+ Because...
« on: July 17, 2011, 12:52:30 am »
he doesn't want to be tracked.  :lulz:

"Mark Zuckerberg has decided to leave Google's new social network because he 'doesn't want to be tracked.' In other news, the Internet's irony meter has just exploded. Robert Scoble is now the most followed person on Google+ according to The Inquirer."

High Weirdness / Obese Man Found Fused to Chair Dies
« on: March 31, 2011, 07:36:49 am »
from Gawker
An obese man died after being found "fused to his chair" in his Bellaire, Ohio home, where he had sat in a recliner for two years. Police—called by his girlfriend—had remove him through a hole in the wall.

"Community reaction is intense," local CBS affiliate WTRF tells us. ("Vomit" counts as "intense reaction," as does "an unbelievable, existential sadness.") One officer called it "the worst thing he ever responded to," and another "threw away his soiled uniform after freeing the man."

Questions, obviously, remain: Was he actually fused to his chair? (Yes, according to WRTF, "with bedsores, maggots and excrement everywhere"; no, according to ABC affiliates which report that "the man's skin was stuck to the chair with urine and feces.") And: His girlfriend? (Yep: She "brought him food and soda pop.") And: Why didn't anyone do anything? (There is no law stopping adults from eating as much as they want or sitting in whichever chairs they want.) And: What was wrong? (No one seems to know, yet.) And also: Can I write a story about this guy for my MFA portfolio? (Yes, but please don't make him a metaphor for America, or capitalism, or whatever.)

(The house, by the way, is now being cleaned by seven people.)
:lulz: :vom:

Bring and Brag / Emoticon Presentation
« on: December 06, 2010, 10:39:28 pm »
Sister Fracture expressed interest in a project I was borrowing emoticons from PD for.

Here it is:

However, I didn't end up talking about PD at all. /tg/ got substituted instead. The quality is not that great because my laptop sucks enormously, but there it is. I hope I'm audible at least.

Even the Devil's got to pee, I suppose. [via Boing Boing]

Panic broke out at the Moruga Composite School yesterday as 17 female students fell mysteriously ill and began rolling on the ground, hissing and blabbering in a strange tongue, after suffering bouts of nausea and headaches. Two of the students reportedly tried to throw themselves off a railing and had to be physically restrained, triggering fears of a possible demon attack. The drama started during the lunch hour in the Form One block and quickly spread to other areas. Form Five student Kern Mollineau, who attends the Lighthouse Tabernacle Church, said he got worried when the girls’ eyes began rolling up in their heads and they began beating up on the ground.

With the assistance of several other students and teachers, the pupils were taken to the multi-purpose hall where some of them fell into a semi-conscious state. Mollineau recalled: “One girl was blabbering as if in a strange language. I could not understand what she was saying. “It was sounding like ‘shebbaberbebeb shhhhee.’ The girls were unusually strong. We had to hold them down so that they will not hurt themselves. “The teachers were right there. I get a kick in my face when one of the girls started beating up on the floor. Many of them had bruises.” Mollineau claimed he actually communicated with the “devil which had possessed the girl. “I asked the Devil what he wanted with the girls and the voice said he wanted a life. He kept saying to send the girls in the toilet and to leave them alone,” Mollineau claimed.

Roman Catholic priests, as well as pastors from nearby churches, including Josephine Charles, Deborah Charles and Pastor Gordon, visited the school and began showering the children with holy water and prayers. Two more students, Kriston Mollineau and Kishon Bethel, said they too were called by teachers to assist the ill girls. Kriston said the girls complained of headaches and some of them wanted to go to the toilet. Six ambulances arrived at the school accompanied by police teams from the Moruga and St Mary’s Police Post. A party of fire officers from the Princes Town Fire Station, led by acting Assistant Divisional Fire Officer Ramdeo Boodoo visited the school and began conducting several tests on the surroundings to determine the cause of the problem.

Boodoo said there was nothing in the environment to trigger fainting spells, nausea and headaches. A teacher, who requested anonymity, said two weeks ago an Orisha woman came to the school and had a dispute with a member of staff. He said following the dispute, the woman threatened to deal with the school administration. Another teacher said the school was built on a burial site, but neighbours who live around the school denied that was so. A source at the school confirmed that all 17 pupils were taken to the Princes Town Health Facility where they were medically examined. The other students were sent home at 2 pm.

Responding yesterday, Minister in the Ministry of Education Clifton de Coteau said he was aware that pupils had to be taken for medical attention. De Coteau said Student Support Service officials were sent to the school and students were expected to receive counselling. A statement from the Ministry of Education said the Public Transport Service Corporation (PTSC) made maxi taxis available to the school to assist the Office for Disaster Preparedness and Management (ODPM) which provided additional ambulances.

edited for thread title

Aneristic Illusions / This is Going to be an Adventure...
« on: November 11, 2010, 05:33:23 am »
Remember Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX), the guy who at the height of the spill apologized to BP on behalf of America for the "tragedy" of the $20 billion clean up fund put together by the White House? Meet your next chairman of the Energy Committee.
:argh!: :horrormirth:

Ron Paul may oversee Fed
Rep. Ron Paul (R., Texas), who wants to abolish the Federal Reserve, could end up overseeing it as part of the Republican takeover of the House of Representatives.

Paul is the ranking member of the Subcommittee on Domestic Monetary Policy and Technology on the House Financial Services Committee, which has oversight for the Fed, the U.S. Mint and U.S. interaction with the World Bank, Politico reported.

The Republican leadership will make the final call on whether Paul gets to oversee the Fed, which, in addition to setting monetary policy, now has a more important role in overseeing big financial institutions including traditional banks like Bank of America (BAC), Citigroup (C) and Wells Fargo (WFC), and other systemically important institutions like Goldman Sachs (GS), American International Group (AIG) and General Electric (GE)'s financial unit.

Paul got some traction recently with legislation proposing to audit the notoriously secretive Fed. He also wants to re-establish the gold standard.

« on: November 04, 2010, 03:42:51 am »

Aneristic Illusions / Creepy Sheriff Gives Sarah Palin Pink Underwear
« on: October 25, 2010, 08:14:44 pm »

Sarah Palin was in Phoenix for a Tea Party rally on Friday, where she had the wonderful opportunity to meet Maricopa County's legally questionable, self-promoting celebrity sheriff, Joe Arpaio. And apparently he gave her pink underwear.

Arpaio, who's currently being sued by the federal government for not cooperating with one of the various civil rights investigations into his sheriff practices (racial profiling, tent cities, etc.), typed this braggart's message on Twitter after their meeting:

The Twitpic link, sadly, just leads to the top picture of him within several feet of the Alaskan snowbilly. (And the pink underwear we added is not the pair he gave her.) But he probably did do it. One of Sheriff Joe's hilarious means of degrading his prisoners is to make them wear all pink, including pink underwear, because then they look gay or something.

I bet Todd was pleased that a strange man gave his wife underwear.

Aneristic Illusions / Unlimited Political Candidate Fail Thread!
« on: October 20, 2010, 09:40:59 pm »
Because not all of them are quite deserving of their own Sarah Palin/Christine O'Donnell-esque thread. Plus this one's just kind of sad.
Quote from: Gawker
Candidates: Please include a notecard of recent Supreme Court decisions in your debate notes? Because when you're asked, as congressional candidate Jon Runyan was yesterday, which decision of the last 10-15 years you disagree with, 1857's Dred Scott won't fly.

Runyan, a former Philadelphia Eagles football player who just retired last year, is running as a Republican in a New Jersey district represented by freshman Democrat John Adler. The candidates were able to ask each other questions, and Adler had a winner. Via the Asbury Park Press:

"Jon, it's a different branch of government, but can you give me an example from the last 10 or 15 years of a Supreme Court decision in which you strongly disagree?" Adler asked.

"That I strongly disagree with?" Runyan asked, pausing for a moment to consider the question. "Dred Scott."

There was some laughter in the audience.

"I said 10 or 15 years. . . . Dred Scott was the 1850s," Adler said, referring to the 1857 decision in which the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the practice of slavery. Runyan did not answer the question.

The video is pretty painful. There is more than "some laughter," and Runyan kind of looks around with a "What's so funny?" expression. On the other hand, at least he thinks Dred Scott was a bad decision.

edited for spelling fail

High Weirdness / Toy Pony in Florida Disposed of by Bomb Squad
« on: September 11, 2010, 04:55:08 am »
Was it just a toy pony or a Trojan horse?

A "suspicious" toy pony was blown up after it was found abandoned in the middle of a cul-de-sac near an Orange County elementary school yesterday morning, reports the Orlando Sentinel.

The FurReal pony, an expensive, lifelike toy, was investigated as a possible explosive device after someone called Orange County deputies to report it. A robot inspected the toy before a pack of explosives was placed near the stuffed animal and detonated.

Students at nearby Waterbridge Elementary School were placed on a modified lockdown in which no one was allowed in or out of the building during the investigation. The lockdown was lifted after the pony was blown up.

Orange County Sheriff's spokesman Jeff Williamson said the pony was later declared "non-threatening."

Parent Shanie Lucas, who uses the area to pick up and drop off her 9-year-old daughter, Valerie, thought the whole incident was funny.

Lucas saw the pony this morning around 8:30 when she dropped Valerie off at school and thought someone put it there to deter people from double-parking inside the small circle.

But when Lucas received an automated call from her daughter's school about the lockdown, she got nervous. She scoured the Internet looking for information and realized it was the same pony she saw earlier in the morning.
No one was hurt.


Discordian Recipes / Ginger Ale
« on: September 05, 2010, 02:39:24 am »
2 tablespoons of grated ginger
1 cup white sugar
1 whole lemon
1/8 teaspoon or even less of yeast
A half gallon of filtered water

1. With a funnel, pour sugar and yeast into the bottle.
(boring, so no picture)

2. Finely grate the ginger and place in a measuring cup.

3. Squeeze the lemon's juice into the measuring cup and mix with the ginger.

4. Pour the mixture through the funnel into the bottle. Use a straw to push the pulp into the bottle and pour the water in. Put cap on and shake until sugar is dissolved. Set the bottle in a warm (not hot) place for 24 hours.

It's currently sitting my garage, and I'll know it's any good by 5pm tomorrow. I used regular baking yeast, which I have heard mixed results on. If it's not good, I'll spend the extra dough on beer yeast, I suppose.

High Weirdness / Whiskey from diabetics' urine
« on: September 04, 2010, 09:41:41 pm »
Gilpin Family whisky is a new single malt whisky made from the urine of diabetics. Creator James Gilpin doesn't sell the stuff, but rather gives away bottles as a public health statement. From the product page:
Sugar heavy urine excreted by diabetic patients is now being utilized for the fermentation of high-end single malt whisky for export. The Whisky market is growing faster then any other alcoholic beverage worldwide. With a prevalent genetic weakness being exposed in the northern hemisphere leading to a sharp rise in type two diabetes, economists have found a new exportable commodity to exploit and are keen to capitalize on this resource quickly.

Large amounts of sugar are excreted on a daily basis by type-two diabetic patients especially amongst the upper end of our aging population. As a result of this diabetic patients toilets often have unusual scale build up in the basin due and rapid mould growths as the sugar put into the system acts as nutrients for mould and bacteria growth. Is it plausible to suggest that we start utilizing our water purification systems in order to harvest the biological resources that our elderly already process in abundance?

Discordian Recipes / Iron man workout for people who use bad crank.
« on: August 22, 2010, 06:03:57 am »
I have to add this - if you're planning to add running to your routine, make sure you're doing it right and I'm sure I'm not the only one who wasn't doing it right. There really is right way and a wrong one and the wrong one will give you shin splints which are a bitch. If you keep going with shin splints, you can pull the muscle out of the bone, or so a doctor told me.
Doing it the right way makes running easier, more effective, and less awful. Personally, I'm getting to the point where I enjoy it and I used to do anything I possibly could to get out of it.

Aneristic Illusions / Man faces jail for videotaping gun-waving cop
« on: August 01, 2010, 09:09:07 pm »
This is fucking ridiculous.

Police officer Joseph Uhler was caught on film charging out of his unmarked car and waving his gun at a unarmed motorcyclist pulled over for speeding. When the footage was uploaded to YouTube, authorities raided Anthony Graber's home, siezed his computers, arrested him, and charged him with "wiretapping" offenses that could land him in jail for 16 years. Glyn  writes in:
The ACLU of Maryland is defending Anthony Graber, who potentially faces 16 years in prison if found guilty of violating state wiretap laws because he recorded video of an officer drawing a gun during a traffic stop. The ACLU attorney handling the case says, "To charge Graber with violating the law, you would have to conclude that a police officer on a public road, wearing a badge and a uniform, performing his official duty, pulling someone over, somehow has a right to privacy when it comes to the conversation he has with the motorist."
Indeed, Maryland contends that Uhler had a reasonable expectation of privacy while waving his gun around in public and yelling at a motorist with a giant video camera mounted on the top of his helmet.

Remarkably, the state Attorney General has already opined that when police record in public, that is not a private conversation subject to the same laws. In other words, in any public interaction between a police officer and a member of the public in Maryland, it is private for one of them but not the other.

"We have looked, and have not been able to find a single court anywhere in the country that has found an expectation of privacy for an officer in such circumstances," writes the ACLU
Sixteen Years in Prison for Videotaping the Police?
There's an extensive history of this being used in Los Angles in the 60s and 70s (if I'm remembering the dates right). The black community there would keep track of arrests that were obviously done with the intent of showing them who was in charge of LA. Bystanders would write down the circumstances, the name of the arrestee, the arresting officer or officers' badge numbers, and any instances of them "resisting arrest" or "attacking officers."

The motorcyclist was unarmed - what the fuck does a cop need to pull a gun out for in an instance like that? In any case, Anthony Graber was doing something that's been done for decades, albeit on the other side of the country and with a camera instead of a notepad. A police officer is in the service of his city and while he is doing such, he is most certainly not a private person.

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