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Topics - BadBeast

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31
Walking home along the Canal yesterday, and I saw something strange, over the other side. Have a closer look, and see if it really is what I think it is.  (In the dip on the treeline)

32
Apple Talk / As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.
« on: November 19, 2010, 07:58:55 am »
As I type this, I am being scammed by a Nigerian, in IM.   Here's the conversation so far!

It was nice seeing your profile on Amateurmatch, my name is Emma ,from illinios in peoria ,i am 29 yrs old single with no kids,pls i am pleading in the name of God if you are here  for cyber sex or playing games don't bother to respond back because i am not here for head games nor kidding,I am new on here looking to meet the true love of my life and i will love to relocate with any man who will love me for who i am,i will like to know more about you and let's see where it goes from here.you there? emmasmith0@yahoo.com
BUZZ!!!
: Hi Emma,how did you get my emailaddress?
emmasmith0: Well i got  it  from AM   and  how long have  you been on the site?
l: I'dforgotten even making a profile, and I'm sure I didn't post my email address,
l: just checking it out now
emmasmith0: ok......My name is Emma ,i am 30 years  old,Am single with no kids, Height: 5'7",Weight: 110 lbs,Measurements:   32B-27-35,Hair Color: Blonde,Eye Color: green Bust Size 32 inches. Hips 35  inches. Waist 27 inches, I am a nice woman seeking for a caring and honest man  to spend the rest of my life with.I am looking for a man that is tender hearted,  kind, considerate of others needs,  I like to go out to dinner, go dancing, go to the  movies, workout, travel, see new things. I enjoy the simple things like the ocean,  cuddling at home watching a movie with someone special, I`m a extremely  romantic, passionate and affectionate woman.....and  you?
l: erm, 44, kind of in a relationship, 2 kids, (live with their mother) and a little bemused as to why AM gave out my email,
emmasmith0: well do you mind telling  me  what you do  for  a living  and where you live?
l: I live in the UK, and I'm unemployed,
emmasmith0: wow  what happened?
l: nothing really, I'm  just not working at the moment,
emmasmith0: whose fan are you in the English premier league?
: I don't follow football anymore, but I used to support Chelsea
emmasmith0: Wow that was my Team that i support too
l: Gota bit pricey to get up to see them, and I lost interset, so now I go fishing instead.
emmasmith0: lol
l: more relaxing, and safer.
emmasmith0: how long have  you  been on AM?
l: I think it was in the summer sometime. Hardly gave it a thought until your im popped up. I thought I'd been hacked,
emmasmith0: lol..
l: I'm trying to find my details on am now,
emmasmith0: well ........i was born and raised in peoria in IL and  am into buying and selling  of sculptures and mineral resources but i was adopted by my dad who was  berieved by kidney problem which led to death  but am presently lodging in a  motel in my ex guy country called Nigeria thinking of commiting suicide due to  what my ex did to me

l: that's a bit of a permanent solution, to a tempory problem isn't it?
emmasmith0: may be
l: can'tyougo back to the States?
l: are you stuck in Nigeria?
emmasmith0: well yeah  and that  was why i am tired of life  and looking  for  a serious  minded  man  who will love me           for who i am  and  who can help me  wih my consignment
l: consignment?
emmasmith0: yeah
l: what's that?
emmasmith0: While i was coming here, the african guy told me to come with enough money for investment and i even went to the extent to sell my inherited house just because i want to leave the states and make my self happy thinking i had finally found the man i have been waiting for all my life.I came in here with a total sum of $8.5 million USD which is all the money i realize from my Dad's business and contracts renumeration.
l: seems like a tidy sum,
emmasmith0: Because the African guy told me of an idea to investment in African Sculptures which i did never knew he was after my money.I was blindfolded with love thinking i have found someone i would spend the rest   of my life with.
l: but he took all your money, and dumped you?
emmasmith0: When i got here, he made all things possible means just to get the money from me and get away with my money.when i noticed this,i took the money and my traveling boxes and deposited it with a Security/Insurance Company here in nigeria in order to safe myself and my assets. Thereafter,i left the guy's apartment to an hotel where i am in right now and from which i am writing to you now.
l: Why don't you just take the money and go back to America then?
l: Let me guess,you need someone to help you get your assets out of Nigeria
emmasmith0: yeah  but i am ready to relocate  with who ever help me  with my boxes
l: If you put your boxes in the mail, I don't mind looking after them for you
emmasmith0: how  do you mean ?
l: In a parcel or something, I'm trustworthy, and I've only ever been to prison for driving offences 
emmasmith0: well it is in a security  company  and i don't  know  your  mind  whether you are interested  in me
l: I'm  willing to help, but I'm not interested in marrying you or anything,
l: and that is an awful lot of money,
l: (I am not interested in money though)
emmasmith0 is typing...

 i understand   but if  you can help me  i promise you 15% of the money what about that ?
l: not sure how I could help,really.
emmasmith0: ok....I have  the name of the  company  and the deposit details  but  you will have  to contact  them and  tell them that you are  my fiancee and  you want the  boxes  shipped to you
l: they will want more than my word forthat though,
l: and how would they ship them to me?
l: (I don't have a bank account)
emmasmith0 is typing...
emmasmith0: Thanks for asking,this is all you needed done to get my boxes to  you,you will need to contact the insurance/security company to their e-mail and  tell them you are my fiancee and you want them to send you my boxes to your  home address.Their is a clearance fee thats needed to be paid which is $470 ,i will  want you to assist me to pay them the clearance fee for them to be able to ship  my boxes to youi got $8,500,000.00 inside the boxes.I will give you the unlocking  codes as soon as the boxes gets to you.      I am very glad to hear that you want to  help me out in getting my boxes to your home address.

Will post the rest in a short while

33
Or Kill Me / Any special offers? *growls*
« on: November 01, 2010, 12:28:07 pm »
I must be the luckiest person in the fucking world! This must be the 100th
time this week I've gone to a website, only to be congratulated on being the 999,999th fucking visitor to this site! Not only that, but I have also been nominated! notimated, no less, to be the possible winner of a fucking IPod / IPad / IMac / /IPhone! Or my IP Address has been selected to be the lucky recipient of a brand new Mini, or some other bullshit "offer". Not only that, but my fucking Postman keeps shovelling reams of junkmail through my letterbox while I'm asleep, personally addressed to me, offering me Garden Furniture, (1st floor flat) or Gas Boiler insurance (no fucking gas) or pension schemes, or some other totally useless shit, like solar panels, double glazing, or timeshare narrowboat hollidays in East Fucking Anglia!
The marketing cunts behing it must have stolen my name from somewhere,  not even bothered to do any demographics before cutting down another forestload of timber to mail to me, personally, with their "Special Offers", because if they did, they certainly wouldn't be offering me Motability Scooters, Elegant "Persian Style" Carpets, or Luxury Leather Furniture, that wouldn't even FIT through my fucking door! I've got three Power supply Companies squabbling over who gets to rip me off for Electricity, even a Gas supplier wanting to sell me fucking electric! I've got a stack of TV Licence "reminders" demanding money with menaces, (Those cunts have never had a penny out of me, and never will!) and now the Local Authority Balliffs are quietly slipping letters through my door, saying "We called, but you were out" (fucking lying bastards! I stood and watched them tiptoeing up the hallway!) threatening to "Levy Distress" on me for not paying my fucking Poll Tax! I'll Levy fucking distress on his fucking sneaky parasitic arse next time I see him! Especially as the Letter informs me that every time he sneaks one  through the door, it costs me another £60! Fuck that. They can charge another £600 for all I care, I still won't pay the fucker. My Slumlord Housing association are sending "Customer Satisfaction Surveys" out like there's no tomorrow, seeking my opinion on the level of service they provide! ("Because what matters to you, matters to us") Pisstaking bastards! I might just tell them my opinion. Again.! GRRRRRR!RANT!  :argh!: RAGE! BIBBLE  :argh!: GIBBER! FROTH TWITCH!

Right, glad I got that out of my system! Sorry to have taken up your valuable time with my rabid tantrum. Have to go now, and staple another kitten to the Hallway ceiling, before next door's ugly numbnut kids come back from school. Give them something to screech about for a change! GRRR!  :argh!:

34
Aneristic Illusions / Hate Crime
« on: October 21, 2010, 03:02:21 am »
For instance, a young black man is walking home one night, and gets beaten up by two white lads on their way home from the Pub, for no apparent reason
other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The two offenders are caught, taken to Court, and prosecuted.  Quite right too. There's no excuse for this type of behaviour. However, if during the assault, the black man was called a nigger, or some other term of racial abuse, or if there is any indication that the attack was racially motivated, then it becomes a "Hate crime", and is viewed in quite a different light. My point is, why should there have to be a distinction between the original assault, and
one that is racially motivated? Surely whatever the motivation is behind it, the Law should be sufficient to deal with the offenders? After all, the black man was just as assaulted, whatever the motivation was. The addition of "Hate Crime" categorisations implies that the Law is insufficient to deal with current offences, and needs changing.
And it doesn't. If anything, it needs to be implemented with more across the board consistency.
I'm not saying that attacking someone on the basis of their race isn't a heinous thing to do, it quite obviously is. But so is attacking someone on the basis of being too drunk to show any self control.
If, in Court, someone says, as a reason for their Crime, "I did it because they were black" or  "I did it because they were gay", and the Court accepts that this in some way mitigates the Crime, then it is clearly the Judiciary that is at fault, not the existing Laws that are in place to deal with such crimes. 
 Also, more Police resources are allocated to anything that might be called a Hate Crime. So if two assaults of similar severity are committed at the same time, and one of them is deemed to fit the Hate Crime profile, guess which one gets investigated, and which one gets put on the back burner? 
  An assault is an assault. The motivation behind it does not make any one incident worse than another, or any better than another.
It doesn't make the assault any less serious. Especially to the victim. And the sudden appearence of so many "Hate Crimes" in the Media, just makes people more afraid.
So is HateCrime a new phenomena? Or just a Political move to justify giving the Police more powers?  Shouldn't the Police treat all crime with the same level of efficiency?
Or should they be allowed to pick and choose whichever ones make them look better in the eyes of the current Political climate?  What do you think?

35
Apple Talk / What was the last 1/
« on: October 10, 2010, 10:53:47 pm »
Classic piece of vinyl you put on?

I've Got "American Beauty" playing right now.

(Truckin')

36
Apple Talk / Cack Handed
« on: September 20, 2010, 06:16:18 pm »
Just out of interest, how many of us are left handed?

37
Aneristic Illusions / Anarchy
« on: September 15, 2010, 06:18:09 pm »
I have come to realise that Anarchy, means many different things to different people. Lots of people see it as a political movement, and while this is a valid viewpoint, it does seem to dominate peoples perceptions. Politically, Anarchy tends to be about destruction of Governmental systems. The throwing down of an oppressive regieme. This is not really what the spirit of Anarchy is about. If you approach it from this viewpoint, the chances are you are missing the whole point.
Anarchy is not about misrule, or politcal revolution. Not about tearing down a hated government.
It's not about breaking the rules, or setting up a fairer or more tolerant society. It's not about socialism, or communism, capitalism, or fascism. It's not about anything with an "ism" on the end. It's not about casting down social evils, or despots, not about violence, or rioting, or not following leaders.
Etymologically, Anarchy means the rule of one. Contrary to popular belief, it is not anti-government. It is very much about government. Government at it's most basic, and relevant level.
Self government. Not self government as a country, or a bordered land. But self govenment as an independent, self regulating organism. YOU. It's about taking control of how you govern yourself. It's about thinking for yourself. It's about taking responsibility for your actions. About having a set of rules of your own, rules that allow you to co-exist in relative harmony with those around you. Rules that are not impossibly idealistic. That way only leads to disappointment, and bitterness. Rules that are not so rigid, and inflexible that they become a burden to you. Rules that are unwritten. Obvious.
And livable by. It's not about giving anyone else these rules, it's about accepting that these people are as capable as you are of having there own rules too. Now, all this might seem like common sense, and easy to do. And it is. The hard part, is accepting that whatever rules you adopt for yourself to live by, have consequences.

State Governmental systems assume to remove the responsibility for your actions, from your personal life, via judiciary or legislative models. In societies like we have today, this is not practical, workable, or efficient. People break Laws with impunity. The consequences of our actions are soaked up by the system, and rarely come home to roost. The idea of "Justice" has been hi-jacked, and turned on it's head by Judiciary systems. More Laws are made, more legislation is implemented, and the system, though unworkable, is all a Government can offer in the way of "protection"  for the populace.

 Anarchy is about assuming whatever responsibility you can, back from wherever it is currently hiding, (and it's not as far away as you might think) about thinking hard about the Laws our Leaders give us to regulate us, and then dismissing those that directly stop you from having control of your own life, in the most workable way you can. Even in the most oppressive regieme, there is still room for the individual to say "NO". Fear keeps those voices down, but can never stop them. It doesn't have to be very loud. The only person who needs to hear it is YOU. It is this word that starts it all. Small acts of defiance. Acts that have consequences only for you. Not revolution against the forces of governments, revolution against what you allow yourself to be deluded by. Blakes "Mind forged manacles"

Crowley understood, and his oft quoted, but much misunderstood ''Do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the Law'' pretty much nails it. It is about taking control of our own lives, on a fundamental level. Finding our ''True Will'', piece by piece, and holding to it. Understanding how it affects everything around us, everything we do.  When we start to do this, we see how tenuous a grip those who would oppress us with false Laws really have on us. The comfortable illusion of an ''Ordered Society'' is just that. An illusion. And if you are happy with that, then you are saying, in effect, ''I am happy to live on my knees, I accept that I need to be governed by others". But deep down, you know it is a lie. You just don't want to be the only one to rise up. This is the struggle. You HAVE to be the only one to rise up. You HAVE to do this for yourself, otherwise nothing will ever change.
The original Sin of proud Lucifer, was to say, ''No, I will not serve''. And for this, he was not ''cast out out of Heaven'', but given the Earth. That was the consequence of his disobedience. Not so bad when you look at it like that, is it?     

38
Horrorology / The Fearô
« on: August 13, 2010, 07:29:49 pm »
The Fearô has a different face for everyone, but it is unmistakeable when it hits you. Something starts to creep in around the edges of your Trip, then takes it over, hits you like a steamroller, and leaves you in a place where everything is decaying, and the air has a different, greasy feel to it.

There is a lingering, all pervading smell, a little like an electrical fire, but as familiar as your own sweat. It instills a nagging feeling of extremely close danger, but never quite close enough to give you anything to work with. The quality of the light is all fucked up, the colours seem to be very flat, and thin, except for the blues, which seem to be alive and somehow have a livid violet blue/black harmonic that makes you think of the edges of a deep, badly infected wound.

You can't tell if the air is full of invisible, choking, smoke, and you feel the beginnings of a panic fluttering in your chest. You are suddenly struck by the idea that there is something very, very wrong. You stop what you are doing, and start a mental check to see if you are functioning properly. You are aware of every autonomous function, breathing, heartbeat, bloodflow, etc, and you feel as if you must somehow transfer the control to your foremind, because if you let them go back to automatic, you are likely to forget to keep them going, and die from a lazy heart, or forgetting you need to breath, and asphyxiating.

You take three or four really deep breathes in quick succesion anyway, just in case you had to, but this makes the blood rush in your ears, and your heart beat faster. Everything suddenly ramps up a notch or two. You feel, rather than hear a thundering noise in the distance, it beats like a huge, slow, deep drum, driving everything with a vast timeless beat.

The Panic in your chest gets bigger, and you feel it's fluttery fingers moving up to your throat now, the rushing in your ears is almost deafening and all your perception seems to be building, and building, trapped and looking for a way out, it feels like a tidal wave about to crash over through, and out of your head, all at the same time, (which, you notice as an afterthought, is no longer a constant, but rather ambiguous) Then the panic moves up, and across your face like a blush, and spreads around your head, you are aware of a tiny tiny little white spot, at the centre of everything.

Your bursting, panic stricken mind focuses on this aperture that suddenly unifies all creation, and the light gets bigger, and impossibly bright, just as the wave crashes over you, and it's suddenly like a thousand silent trumpets are blowing all at once, right next to your head, and the pain, and pressure is unbearable, and something has got to give in a moment, and you know that something's going to be you!

But you suddenly find some reserve of will, and start to fight it, with every drop of essence that is you. You seem to be getting away, for a second or two as well, and then whatever it was that you were, snaps away like an elastic band snaps, and you are aware of nothing but the light, no sound, or colour, or texture, just this Holocaust of light, so bright it shines right through you like a breeze cuts through the mist. Matter is suddenly gone. Does not matter, need not be.
You are a point of stillness, the fulcrum at which everything balances, and you feel an instant of relief, before The Fearô Finally hits you. Rolls over you like a wave of foul, gloopy caramel coloured  fnord  and you start to be afraid.
You thought you knew what Fear was, knew how to ride it until it dropped away to nothing much at all.

You realise that you were very wrong indeed.   This thing, The Fearô is going to ride you, consume you, digest you, and shit you out, like you were nothing! It will go on forever, and you have no hope at all of escaping it's icy clutch. You also know that deep down, you have always known this. And so it takes you.  scared

That's just the build up, but you start to get the idea. I wont elaborate any further, because of the spoilers,
but once it gets you, you will never ever be the same. Your life is bisected into two parts. Before, and After.

So now, just because you know The Fearô is there, don't let it put you off what can be a delightfully fun time. It doesn't get you every time, and it probably won't the first time. Some people never seem to get it at all.
But it doesn't pay to get complacent. It's there, it's real, and it will eventually make itself known to you. To all of us. Eventually. So good luck, and be sure to enjoy your Trip. Everything will be fine.  wink    Probably.   

39
Apple Talk / Confession Time, (Or diggin' the dirt)
« on: August 07, 2010, 07:26:08 pm »
ITT, You can unburden yourself in complete confidence, of all your deepest, dirtiest secrets. Things you could never tell anyone IRL, for fear of Peasants with pitchforks & flaming brands. So come on, tell your Uncle Beasty all about it. If your transgression is worthy, you may be given some token penance to perform, before being absolved, so lets have it, don't hold back, nothing is too shameful for this thread. 

40
Apple Talk / Lurkers
« on: August 06, 2010, 06:35:37 pm »
So who are these mysterious Lurkers? Looking through the members list, the number of Lurkers, or those with a single figure post count, far outweigh those who are active on the boards. How many of these are enemies,  spying on our activities?
Who are they monitoring our levels of sedition, Chaos, and Discord for?

How many are working for shady Governmental 'Intelligence' Agencies, looking for plots, or sleeper Agent Provocoteurs, ready to spring into action, and entrap hapless Discordians, into being set up as Patsys for their nefarious schemes?

Are we harbouring a dormant population of Fifth Columnists,waiting for the balloon to go up,so they might use the banner of PD.Com, to enable their ancient conspiracy of World domination to take over?

Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Are they just spags, who have forgotten their passwords, or too afraid of being savaged by our (apparently) brutal hazing process to post? Are they lost, or trapped here by our policy of not deleting old or dormant accounts?
Some of them mean us no good, of that I am certain. As to exactly who, or what their plans are, I am at a loss.

So come on, has anyone got any ideas of what we could be up against, and what we can do to counter their heinous plot to destroy us all? 

41
Apple Talk / God Hates Goths. (And lots of other people too)
« on: July 25, 2010, 01:12:15 pm »
Goths are lulzy. Perfectly harmless, a bit moody perhaps, and "differently motivated", but hey, they'll grow out of it. Or not. No matter. My 19 year old son is a bit of a Goth 'scene' and he's doing just fine. But apparently, GOD HATES GOTHS. It's true.

Take a look at this. Reverend Green states,
"Goths, in my opinion, are more dangerous to Children than pedophiles, and need serious psychiatric help. The sooner Goths realise what they have is nothing short of mental illness, the better for everyone concerned".

"THE BIBLE INSTRUCTS US TO DRESS MODESTLY. ONE ASPECT OF DRESSING MODESTLY IS MAKING SURE EVERYTHING THAT SHOULD BE COVERED BY CLOTHING IS ADEQUATELY COVERED. ANOTHER ASPECT TO MODESTY IS NOT DRAWING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF. PEOPLE WHO DRESS MODESTLY DRESS IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY DO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES. DO GOTHS DRESS MODESTLY? NO. THEY DRESS LIKE FILTHY SATANIC WHORES. COVERED IN PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS, TORN FISHNET STOCKINGS, PVC, BASQUES AND BONDAGE CLOTHING.  DRESSING UP LIKE A SICK CIRCUS FREAK IS A DIRECT DEFIANCE TO GOD."

and this.

"THE BIBLE ALSO CONDEMNS TATTOOS, SCARIFICATION, SELF-HARMING, PIERCINGS AND DESECRATION OF YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN, IT BELONGS TO GOD. THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, EVERY WAY YOU ACT, AND ESPECIALLY EVERY WAY YOU TREAT YOUR BODY, MUST BE TO THE GLORY OF GOD. TO ABUSE OR DESECRATE YOUR BODY WITH INK OR METAL OR BODY MODIFICATIONS OR SCARS IS AN ABOMINATION TO GOD."

or this.

"GOTHS ARE PROUD OF THEIR SIN, PROUD TO PARADE AROUND LIKE SICK HALLOWEEN FREAK-SHOWS, PROUD TO DEGRADE THEIR BODIES WITH TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, PROUD TO ENGAGE IN FILTHY SEXUAL PERVERSIONS, AND IN THAT PRIDEFUL STATE THEY CANNOT REPENT - YOU CANNOT REPENT OF SOMETHING YOU'RE PROUD OF. PRIDE IS ONE OF THE 7 ABOMINABLE SINS WHICH ARE HATED BY GOD."

It get's even better.

"GOD ALSO DETESTS RETARDS. DOWN SYNDROME, CEREBAL PALSY, THALIDOMIDES, DWARFISM, SPINA BIFIDA, AND OTHER CREATURES SPASTIC RETARDATIONS ARE REPULSIVE TO GOD. THE BIBLE STATES QUITE CLEARLY THAT THESE TWISTED LIMBLESS MONSTERS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ANYWHERE NEAR A CHURCH, AS THEY ARE UNCLEAN AND REPULSIVE TO GOD. THEY ARE AN ABOMINATION. THEY HAVE MINDS OF SUCH A REPROBATE NATURE THAT THEY ARE GIVEN TO SEXUALLY GRATIFYING THEMSELVES IN PUBLIC, AND ARE NOTHING MORE THAN SLOBBERING STAMMERING ANIMALS. WHY SHOULD THEY GET THE BEST CARE? GET GRANTS TO BUILD RAMPS FOR THEM? WHEELCHAIRS? PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT? IF GOD DID NOT INTEND THEM TO WALK, LET THEM CRAWL LIKE THE SNAKES THEY ARE."

I'm having difficulty believing this guy is for real, (after all, I discovered it while following one of Cain's links) but having visited the website, it's not just Goths that God hates, it's Women too.

"Our own Rev RG Green estimates that 99.999% of ALL women born today are heading straight to Hell!
The truth is that so many women are turning away from God, and ignoring important Bible teachings
about how they should act, how they should dress, how they should know their places!
Though the fact of the matter is that while Bible teaches us MAN will be reunited with his maker,
NOWHERE in the Bible does it say that women go to Heaven! In fact we do not even know if
women have souls to save!"

and the Handicapped,

 "I am merely trying to educate them into the Bible truths about these vile and repulsive dumb
animals. If every filthy retard dropped down dead tomorrow Jesus would weep tears of joy!
When a retard dies, God laughs!"

The utterly worthless and vile Rev Green, seriously needs fucking with. He dwells in a dark, and loveless place.

hxxp://www.godhatesgoths.com/


42
Principia Discussion / Undoing the Answers only thread.
« on: July 24, 2010, 12:47:17 am »
So, everyone who posted answers in the ''Answers only'' thread, Beasty respectfully requests that you to go back to your first post there, and repost it here, with the
question that spawned such a hideously surreal response. Then for the second, etc. Only in this way, can we ever hope to regain some kind of control over such a well meant, but ultimately endless thread, before it takes over the whole of the intrawebz.
I'll start then, shall I?

Answer;  Because there were 6 kittens in the litter, and only room for five in the sack.

Question; Why do you keep throwing that kitten into the Canal?

43
Propaganda Depository / BadBeast's 'Tribute to the departed' thread.
« on: June 23, 2010, 10:08:54 am »
Post your tributes to the dearly departed greats (and not so greats) here.
This is for poor Frank, who died yesterday. Once seen, never forgotten.  My pary is for Timperly, who lost their Frank.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvkt-3oskiI&feature=related

44
Apple Talk / Crop Circles
« on: June 04, 2010, 12:45:49 am »
Last week, I said I'd post a crop circle story, so here it is. Last year, I met a guy who was part of a small group, who made crop circles, locally. He first began doing them, in a pranky sort of way, at the end of the 80's to take the piss out of all the people who offered theories of Aliens, or Fairies, or Hedgehogs, or whatever, just for the smuggish lulz factor, and he still makes circles to this day, but now he is a lot more open minded about the whole thing, and admits there is more to them than he can explain.

He told me a story about a night , about four or five years ago now, in early June. His technique was to take a google map of the field they were intending to do, and would work out the design, and dimensions beforehand, on his Mac, usually that afternoon, depending on the amount of people he could round up. (Usually three)

On this particular occasion, all the details had been ironed out, they had all the lengths of rope, with marker knots tied, and printouts of the design. All three of them were about to leave, at just past midnight, when there was a torrential thunderstorm. They waited it out, and ended up leaving at about 2.30am to do the circle. They estimated for about an hour to get this one finished, as it wasn't too elaborate or ambitious. The thing is, when they got to the field, it was apparent someone had already been there, earlier on and made their own circle. Disheartened, they returned home.

These things occasionally happen, as there are a few teams that regularly make circles in the area, independently of each other, during the season. However, the next day, when they went back to the field to view the circle that had been made, it was the exact design, and dimensions as the one they had planned to do. The only three people who knew what the design was to be, had been together all the time, from beginning to end, so there was no way anyone else could have known of their plans.

And the only opportunity anyone could have had to do it, was during the thunderstorm, and it was a big storm, and there was no moon that night.
To this day, no-one else has claimed responsibility for it, (And the teams usually like to claim their credit, with each other, after the fact, in a spirit of competitive rivalry) and he is as much at a loss as to how it happened, as he was on the day. For a while, he said he nearly drove himself batshit, trying to figure it out, but by the time he told me the story, he'd just accepted it as one of those things he would never get to the bottom of.
Theoretically, it could have just been a coincidence, but the design was exactly the same as theirs had been. Dimensions too. I can't even begin to offer an explanation for it.
 I know the guy in question reasonably well, and I'm pretty sure he was telling me the truth. One of the people who was with him that night was present when he told me the story, and he confirmed every word of it. 

 So there it is. Every year, there are a few circles made, that no-one claims, or knows who was responsible for, not necessarily the more complex ones, but always occurring on moondark nights, mostly between the end of May, and mid August. There have also been a couple every year, in fields of winter wheat, at around the end of December that no-one knows anything about. These ones never get any publicity, because they aren't "In season" and whoever does them, is unknown to any of the regular teams. Similar patterns have also been seen in Ice, on Russian lakes that have frozen overnight, and also in fresh snowfall in Siberia. No footprints or anything, and the official explanation, is freak wind conditions. And that's the best explanation there is for them. But who knows for sure? It could be Hedgehogs I suppose.

45
Gods always seem to really get quite "precious" when they decide they have been dissed, challenged, or insulted by Mortals. There must be
some kind of "Don't they know who I am?"! gene running through the Pantheons, like Victoria's recessives. You'd think the God's would be above all that kind of petty vindictive posturing, but they don't seem to handle insults in a mature, Godlike manner at all. And always really gauche, ostentatious displays of utter pwng, and  never knowingly understated, when they are in a capricious or smitey mood,  or even just out of  boredom.

I know there are many absurd examples of Deities mashing up any mortal who dares to even jokingly question their omnipotence, but here's an example I got carried away with, in someone else's thread. A totally off topic electrocution curiosity was churning me up inside, so rather than hijack what is already a perfectly aligned thread, I'm going to spew my imaginative carrion here, and hopefully, someone might add another few scenarios of God sized hissy fits, or smiting of infidels, heretics, etc.

**STARTS TO DAYDREAM**

                                                Earlier today, at the Golf Course

"The pressure is really on now, just had his third Eagle, now only needs a par to win, walks across the green with his putter over his shoulder,  got to make a four yard putt for the Pro-Am Sponkhill Memorial Trophy". He squares up to the shot, just about to start his gentle backswing,  and suddenly, out of a blue, clear sky, a blinding light, and a sound like ripping a hurricane in half, and he's gone! One smoking Golfshoe, left empty, near the pin,  but no sign of him at all, and the ball rolls slowly towards the hole, then . . . . . . . . .

You decide whether the ball drops in or not, I am "Plasma Man" Struck by Wild Lightning!  Transformed into a sentient ball of ionised gases,
With the power to be blown about, by a light breeze, Plasma man prevails, self appointed Guardian of the Dewponds Golf course, he wanders like a lonely sentinel, overseeing fair play, and good manners on the links!

And in the Local Papers,
"Golfing Legend, and almost really real Discordian, Prefect Q. 4 McFukmuk met with  serious resistence on the 18th hole of the Pro-Am Sponkpot's Memorial Trophy earlier  this Morning, when he was reported as having had "some kind of a fit, or seizure"  He was found to have been vapourised in a freak accident, involving a bolt of Lightning, a putter, and a metal spiked Golfshoe"  

"Witnesses described the incident as happening "very fast" .

Golfing partner, Stefan "The Strimmer" Stankiroskanoff" said to our Reporter,

"I've never seen anything like that happen before, I hope he's OK, there's the Aesir Challenge Cup qualifier next Thursday "  
He said,  between sobs.  

"He was only saying, not two minutes before it happened, how he was going to totally ream the Aesir in the playoffs, and how Weddesun had better be playing better Golf than he did last year"

His very last words were

"I'm going to Bitchslap that Thor Weddensun, on every single hole next week, then plant my Dunlop 64 right up his jacksy, just cuz I can!"  Then he was gone! Just like that!"

"Golfcourse Staff are searching for any pieces of debris before they start to stink the place up, but although there seems to be  a substantial blast patch, very little of substance is seen of McFukmuk's vapourised remains."  

A Spokesperson said,
"The Course will be open for business again by 4.30  this afternoon"

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