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Topics - Q. G. Pennyworth

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Apple Talk / A note from your Friendly Neighborhood Propagandist
« on: July 03, 2017, 06:14:41 pm »
External validation helps me keep moving. If you see threads with pdfs or images you like, mittens and/or constructive criticism are encouraged.

Please clap.

Propaganda Depository / Go Mindfuck Yourself (multiple formats)
« on: July 03, 2017, 03:09:06 pm »
A new layout for one from the Et Cetera Discordia. I did this before with a blue background but I've been hating on it for a while so here's the better version. Two pdf attachments here! The booklet is for print only. Duplex, flip on short side, fold in half for pretty propaganda. The other pdf is suitable for online viewing, or printing single sided for postering.

The images here are from the online/poster order.

Propaganda Depository / Ladies of Discord pdf
« on: June 30, 2017, 06:38:46 pm »
Some editorial comments and asides from Holy Nonsense, gathered here for your amusement. This is a multipurpose pdf. You can print it out as a booklet (duplex, flip on short side) OR you can print it single sided, and cut in half for postering.

Or Kill Me / We have to be ready to fight.
« on: June 14, 2017, 04:54:42 pm »
We have to be ready, at all times, in all places, to fight. On the bus, in the school, at the mall, on the street. In chatrooms and forums and businesses and libraries. We have to be ready to fight at city hall and the state house and the commons and the grocery store.

We have to be ready to fight.

There is no peace that will hold forever, evil will never be vanquished. Our neighbors and co-workers and our family are all susceptible to the siren call of enemy ideology. Even we are not immune. We must put our stakes in the ground. We must hold our lines.

It is not enough to be merely "not evil." It has never been enough. We must be ready to fight, if we are able, because not everyone can. It's not enough to say it's someone else's problem, it's not enough to bite our tongues to keep the peace. It is not enough to defend the utopian ideal of tolerance at all costs.

If you tolerate hatred, you're an asshole.

We have to be ready to fight, even when our enemies hide their attacks behind "I'm only joking" and "free speech means awful speech." We have to be ready to fight when they invade the spaces we thought were safe. We cannot wait for the mods to wake up, we must take up arms ourselves.

We are the only ones we can count on.
We have to be ready to fight.

Apple Talk / Something To Do
« on: June 11, 2017, 05:57:31 pm »
So, there's this story from 2015 where a man from Senoia, Georgia drove a truck through his own house. And sure, you see stories all the time about accidents where a driver fell asleep at the wheel, or hit the gas when they thought it was the brake, or thought they were in reverse when they were in drive, or what have you, but this was none of that. He drove his truck through his house, clear through from the back yard to the front, intentionally.

This made the news, in several outlets. There are photos.

Some iterations of this story accuse -- and I shit you not this is his real name -- John Paul Jones Jr. of driving through the house because he was frustrated nobody wanted to buy it, but I'm mostly interested in the version of the story that CBS46 went with. I found it because of the fantastic final line: "Jones is not being charged with a crime because there's nothing against the law about driving a truck through a house, as long as it's your truck and your house." It got passed around social media, because of course it did, and eventually wound up in one of my random feeds, and I had to go track it down.

This version of the story refutes earlier reports, saying Jones wasn't mad at the house, but just frustrated in general. He'd just gotten off the phone with his wife, he's been out of work for a year and a half, one thing just led to another.

It's important to know that Jones is a contractor. He fixed all the damage to the house in two days. "I've been out of work for the past year and a half. Needed some work," he told CBS46. "It didn't pay anything, but hey, it kept me busy."

And yeah, that's pretty fucking funny. The bit where he tells the cops he did it because he needed air conditioning is great. But like everything, if you look at it long enough, you start seeing pieces of bigger things in it.

So I'm sitting here, reading essentially a "news of the weird" post, and I'm starting to think about the economy in Georgia, and the private contracting economy across the country. I'm thinking about the recession that never really ended, not for poor folks, and I'm thinking about all the people who bought "fixer-uppers" in 2007. And then I think about certain breeds of dog, the ones where they need something to do or they will tear holes in your yard and destroy your house.

And I think about this guy, John Jones, generic as can be. And I think about how he needed something to do.

Apple Talk / Greater Boston Area Legion of Dynamic Discord
« on: June 10, 2017, 10:10:59 pm »
I made a page for it. hxxps://

Any advice on what stuff goes on a page like this?

Propaganda Depository / Nature of Truth Booklet
« on: June 10, 2017, 02:36:55 am »
Like all booklets, print duplex/double sided and flip on short edge, then fold in half and enjoy!

Two files, the main one is pretty ink-heavy, the plain one keeps all the line art but removes the background, and is appropriate both for conservation of ink and improved legibility purposes.

Propaganda Depository / What is Worthwhile in Discordianism - Booklet
« on: June 09, 2017, 05:38:20 pm »
Booklet  for handings out! Print doublesided (flip on short side) and fold in half for excellent propaganda!

Apple Talk / Nobody Thinks They're The Bad Guy
« on: June 05, 2017, 07:38:02 pm »
Nobody thinks they’re the bad guy.
Nobody wakes up in the morning, stretches out the crick in their neck, rubs the gunk out of their eyes, and thinks to themselves “Welp, time to go make the world a worse place than it was before I got here! What a great day to be evil.” It doesn’t happen. Nobody, nowhere, believes they’re the bad guy.
There are people who know they are doing bad things, of course. And if you talk with them about it they will not deny that what they are doing is bad, but they will tell you at length how it is necessary. They’ll tell you how they have come to be in this terrible position of being forced to do bad in the world, despite the fact that they are, in their hearts, a good person. They may be very convincing. They may even be right.
There are people who do not see what they are doing as evil in the first place, no matter how terrible it may seem to an outsider. These people do not see themselves as victims, but rather as warriors. They are fighting the good fight in their own minds, and they surround themselves with people who believe the same, or at least do nothing to challenge that belief. They are operating with a reality-interpreting grid that allows them to see some humans as “less,” or some human behavior as “unacceptable in any circumstances.” They live in a world where the stakes are high and time is short, and they are doing their part to make the world better.
They may be wrong and they may be crazy, but they still never think of themselves as the bad guy.
And this isn’t to say never fight back, it’s not to say you are required by some law of bipedalism to accept their opinion of themselves. This isn’t a demand that you never give up on anybody, no matter how foul their deeds or ideas. It’s just a reminder, just some information, because you will be more effective in the fight if you accept all of the intelligence available to you, that you will be in a better position if you build a more accurate internal model of your foes.
Keep moving. Fight good fights.
And pray to whatever gods will listen
that the bad guy
isn’t you.

Apple Talk / We will never be safe.
« on: May 10, 2017, 09:55:14 pm »
The enemy will always be at the gates. We will always be besieged. This is the life we chose.

If we all wake up tomorrow, that is the most we can hope for.

Morale will always be fragile. We will always be a powderkeg. Everything we do is just to maintain the current state of crisis.

There are no victory conditions.

There will never be enough to go around. We will always be scrambling. We could have been anything we wanted, and we wanted this.

We will never be safe.

We put out fires. We rebuild fortifications. We will never stop paying for our mistakes.

We kiss like it's the end of the world.

Literate Chaotic / Glorious Inefficiency
« on: May 02, 2017, 09:07:56 pm »
She is looking at her cupped hands intently, like there is nothing else in the world. Her toes are pressed down hard on the tile floor, her heels perched in the air. One knee bounces nervously. There is no one else in the bathroom. The stall door is closed. She stares at her hands.
She imagines a fire in the empty space between her fingers and her palms, holds it gently like a bird's nest. She does not see the fire. Her heart is racing.
"Breathe," she mouths to herself, and obeys. She purses her lips and breathes out into the fire that is not there, imagining the ash and embers dancing in the steady airflow, imagining fuel catching, feeding it life.
She feels static in her fingertips.
No one else is here, no one else can see. She breathes out again, tightly controlled steady stream of air touching her fingers, feedback in her nerves mingling with the electronic noise that doesn't stop but increases. Her fingers make small, unnatural movements, like insect legs. The joints feel creaky and unresponsive. She is not plugged in right.
Her brain floats in a soup of adrenaline and cortisol, muscles tense, heart too fast. To call her scared would be a mistake. She is on edge. There is something on the other side and she does not know what it is and the fear is not the kind you get when a man in a mask jumps out at you or something fangy and ill-tempered spots you, it's the kind of fear when you're about to go around a corner and you don't know what's there, but you know it's not whatever's behind you. She wants to see what's around the corner, but her legs are frozen.

A noise like a footstep. Her eyes snap back into focus, her hands still tingle. Finish up like a human, she tells herself.
The sensor does not know she has gotten up. The button malfunctions. The pipe is leaking. Does it know she's not plugged in right? She forces it to work.
The sink in front of her has a sign that says out of order. She does not remember if that sign was there before. The sink next to it does not work either. She stands in front of a third sink, moving her hands that feel like animatronics in front of the sensor, trying to trip it, trying to connect. It takes forever to work. When she steps away the water keeps running for fifteen long seconds.

She is broken, and her malfunction makes the machine inefficient. And when she tells people they want to help her work better, to plug her back in correctly, but all she wants is for someone to see her and revel in her glorious inefficiency.

Her footsteps are all wrong.

Apple Talk / HEY ROGER: stole another one of your things
« on: March 30, 2017, 04:16:42 pm »
I'm going back and forth on this layout. On the one hand, I really want to make sure I don't have too many pages with the "ran out of words at the top, pictures on the bottom" format, and I really want to avoid having too many right-side pages with that, but at the same time, this feels a little lopsided with the image up top. Your opinion would be appreciated.

Apple Talk / PS: You're Pope
« on: March 05, 2017, 03:22:55 pm »

Did you know you're a Pope? It's true! Every man, woman, child, gender-non-conforming and non-human person is Pope of Discordia. This comes with some fantastic rights, and some fantastic responsibilities, although many Popes don't know it.

For one, you and you alone choose how to be a Discordian! Nobody can tell a Pope how to interpret scripture. Hold your own Council of Nicea whenever you want, and pick and choose the holy books you'll adhere to and which you'll ignore. Maybe throw a personal Vatican II if you like. Nobody can stop you, you're Pope!

For another, you can give people Pope cards. If you like. A lot of people don't seem to know they're Popes, so if you don't tell them they might wander around thinking somebody else is in charge.

You can also make up whatever names for yourself you want. Remember that Discordia doesn't recognize the State, so you may have to use your Holy Name mindfully.

Lastly, it means you can't blame anybody else for your beliefs. After all, you're Pope.

Apple Talk / Always Punch the Ghost
« on: February 22, 2017, 06:16:06 pm »
Before I go into a dark hallway I always tell myself to punch the ghosts.

Because if there is a ghost there, I don't want to hesitate. I don't want to cower, or cry, or stare in disbelief. I don't even want to run. No, if there is a ghost in my way, I am punching it.


Because it's probably not a ghost. It's probably a friend pulling a prank and they fucking know better so they're going to get punched and that's fair play. Or maybe it's Mr. Jenkins wearing a rubber mask, and the meddling kids have yet to arrive. No need to bring the mystery mobile around, boys and girls, I've got this one.

Or maybe it's a hallucination, bad air or subsonic hums or sleep deprivation running wild. If nothing is there, nothing will get hurt, and I will know that I did not hesitate, did not cower, and that the illusion cannot harm me.

But even if it is a ghost, a really-real ghost, there are only two possible things that can happen: either I punch it and my fist goes through unharmed and unnoticed, or I punch a fucking ghost in the face. And if my hand goes through, it cannot hurt me and I have nothing to be afraid of. If I hit it, it is a physical thing that I can subdue, and that's nothing to be afraid of either.

Always punch the ghost.

Propaganda Depository / Sympathy and Nazis
« on: February 15, 2017, 07:12:15 pm »
CC-ND-NC as usual, attribution is tied to the document.

This is a print booklet file. Print doublesided (duplex) flip on short side, then fold in half for delivery. I'll work on an online shareable version eventually.

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