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Messages - The Good Reverend Roger

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54676
Or Kill Me / Rev Roger sermon #3...get yer barf-bags, folks!
« on: January 29, 2003, 03:22:00 am »
Blarg!

54677
Apple Talk / The Art of the Brag.
« on: January 27, 2003, 07:06:07 am »
Now THAT'S what the hell I'm talking about!  This is a woman after my own heart!  

ANYONE ELSE GOT THE GUTS TO SPEW A RANT?

54678
Apple Talk / The brag of the Discordian Subgenius
« on: January 26, 2003, 09:56:10 pm »
THE BRAG OF THE DISCORDIAN SUBGENIUS

Siddown, Billy, and lemme tell you who I am!  

I am THE MAN!  Where I walk, the grass doesn't grow, OUT OF RESPECT!  When I travel, the elderly and the children cheer, while the unrighteous cringe!  I view the slurs of @ssholes as a BENEDICTION!  Soda machines give free pop when I pass near!  The Gawds themselves cross the road when they see me!  Anything for a frickin' laugh, and the lesser mortals around me are NO EXCEPTION!  Nothing bothers me, I BOTHER IT!  I am the Grand Unified Theory, the walking incarnation of Slack, the terror that walks in the night!  I am feared in all the wrong circles, and I eat my metaphoric dead!  I wipe the establishment off my shoes when I go in the house!  Elvis isn't dead, HE SHINES MY SHOES!  I age backwards!  I spit in the eye of the HSD just for KICKS!  I play frisbee with MANHOLE COVERS!  I kick habits while the nuns are still in them!  I blow my NOSE on the terror of the Gawds!  Robert Redford greens with envy when I pass by!  I gave the Dalhi Lama "third eye blowout"!  I chew barbed wire, and shyt quarters!  Gawd himself put off armageddon because I'm so cool he couldn't bear for the universe to end!  I am that Seven-headed beastie that St John jabbered about, I ain't the Alpha, but I AM the OMEGA! Get outta my way because

(at this point, the Good Reverend blew an o-ring, and conked out on his keyboard.  He will finish his brag at a later time.)

<transmission ends>

54679
Apple Talk / The Art of the Brag.
« on: January 26, 2003, 09:53:58 pm »
"There is no epilogue, unless you make it,
If you want your freedom, go and take it."
--William "Little Billy" Shakespeare
(had things turned out a little differently)

"And I will give him the morning star"
--St. John "Anything For A Laugh" of Patmos
(Revelation 2:28)

"Go, and never darken my towels again!"
--Groucho Marx
(Animal Crackers)

The establishment spends a great deal of it's time making sure we are sheeple.  Your egos are bruised everyday; from fitness magazines which make you feel (by comparison) like Don Knotts or Fatty Arbuckle, to action movies which make you realize what an indolent slug you are.  You are taught from the cradle that you simply aren't good enough, and you had better be GLAD for the few good things come your way...You obviously don't DESERVE them, so get back in line before somebody notices.

NO MORE!  You can't go through life with a shrunken ego...not as a human being, at least...You CAN, if your greatest ambition in life is to be a food-tube.

You need to look in the mirror and not THINK there are no flaws, you need to KNOW there are no flaws.  You need to act as if you are THE MAN (or WOMAN)!  Act this way, and others will treat you this way (making it easier to ACT this way, etc).

This is NOT arrogance (which would mean you are putting others down to make yourself feel big), but rather SUPREME SELF CONFIDENCE.  If ya don't have it, fake it; it will become real on it's own.

A good tool to help in this regard is "The Brag".  Spew a boast about your various attributes on this forum.  Make shyt up, exaggerate like a Senator...whatever it takes.  Post yourself as a sinner or a saint, it doesn't matter; because here in Discordianism, we're up for ANY PROGRAM!

And let no man say that the Good Reverend Roger will send a person where HE will not go...I will go first:

54680
Principia Discussion / Best Music For Sex
« on: January 20, 2003, 04:45:54 am »
Carmina Burana by Orff.

If you listen to THAT, and you aren't having sex (or burning down the village of your enemies), you SHOULD be.

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