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Dear Bella,

Will you ever forgive me for not having done for you what I said I would????

Do you have a website, Horab?

It made me laugh, so it must be true.

That's as good a reason as any.

YES!

and its about DISCORD
thats why that one thing about
"Principia Discordia suggests that a Discordian should never believe what he or she reads, thereby causing a paradox, wherein the Principia renders all of its own contents moot" is in there

to cause that affect

I get that . . . and I don't personally believe that all Discordians should get along, or live in some love-fest commune, but all this nonsense lately seems so juvenile.

I don't think anyone around here isn't being Discordian, that wasn't the point of my post, I just wonder WHY some people decide to become Discordian.  It just seems lately like some people use it as an excuse to be an asshole.

It would never cross my mind to attempt to judge other Discordians on how Discordian I believe they are, since the very nature of the beast is that Eris is different to each person.  The brilliance in this, to me, is that this is a beautiful parable of not only religion and philosophy, but absolutely everything - Discordianism is just more honest about it.  Not a single person out there looks at a can of Campbell's soup and thinks the same thing.  Not a single person out there looks at an Andy Warhol painting of a Campbell's Soup can and thinks the same thing.  Not a single person out there looks at the 'singing asshole' in Pink Flamingos and thinks of the same thing, not a single person; it's a hell of a Rorschach test.  

So, Discordianism, like anything else, is different for each person, but even more so, since permission is granted to mould the very concept to fit the parameters of your own mind.  This, obviously, gives a lot of room for interpretation to the individual.   To compound this, the central Discordian text, the Principia Discordia suggests that a Discordian should never believe what he or she reads, thereby causing a paradox, wherein the Principia renders all of its own contents moot.  This has resulted in many people, considering themselves Discordians, giving practically no credence to any of the contents of the Principia whatsoever.  Which is fine, if that wasn't the intention then why claim so in the first place?  I myself only given credence to a handful of concepts in the Principia and see the remainder as amusing filler, but I ask this . . . if you consider yourself a Discordian and think that Gregory Hill and Kerry Thornley were hippie-dippy crackpot peaceniks who wrote a load of nonsense and thought the world was simply an amusement park, then why do you even choose to name yourself after the concept they originated?  If you seem to loathe all their ideals, why do you align yourself with them?

I would ask any person who falls into this category to sit down somewhere quiet and look deep within themselves as to the motives of taking on the name Discordian.  Was it because you truly felt you were a Discordian, or was it because you could fuck shit up on a regular basis, screw with peoples minds, and generally act reprehensible with what you consider a license to do so?

Taking God's name in vain?  Calling upon Him for totally useless shit?  Attracting His attention when you don't really want it?  Sounds pretty blasphemous to me.

A good god would always have time for his or her subjects.  If a god is truly omnipotent then he or she should always have plenty of time for eveything.

Assuming you are wasting a god's time is to underestimate their powers.

At least, that's how I see it.

Some time after the ORIGINAL SNUB, which started the Trojan War, but before the war actually began, Agamemnon son of Atreus had collected his fleets at Aulis in Boeotia but found himself unable to sail for Troy due to a contrary wind.

   Agamemnon clutched his long ivory scepter forged by the god Hephaestus who gave it to Hermes, who dropped it in a fountain when plonked at one of Dionysus,Äô parties, where it was subsequently found by Agamemnon,Äôs grandfather Pelops, and was then grudgingly passed down to him.  He clutched the scepter and shook with rage.  He was consumed with revenge and honour, two ingredients which--when mixed--can become poison in a man,Äôs blood. In desperation he called out for Calchas, who spoke with the gods.

   ,ÄòCalchas, you sweet bitch, who speaks with the gods,,Äô Agamemnon said. ,Äòtell me which god is it who is pissed with me and has asked the ill wind to blow against the long-haired Achaeans so that they may not sail against the wife-robbing bastard people, the Trojans, who stole the completely foxy Helen from my brother Menalaus, King of Sparta?,Äô

   Calchas was not a stupid man; he knew that those who gave bad news to kings soon became deprived of what was most dear to them: their lives.  Hades did not have a good rep at that time, some would argue it still doesn,Äôt, but it beats Toledo Ohio in a pinch. Conversely, everyone knew that lying about the gods could get you in worse places than either Hades or Toledo. The choice was obvious. ,ÄòGood King Agamemnon, it makes me sick to say it, but there are five gods angered at you.,Äô

   ,ÄòFive gods?,Äô sputtered Agamemnon.  ,ÄòBut how?  But why?  But when?,Äô

   Calchas said, ,ÄòIt is the truth Agamemnon son of  Atreus that swift and sleek Artemis is angered with you because she overheard you boast that you were a better marksman that she.,Äô

   Agamemnon said ,ÄòShit.  It,Äôs true.  I did boast to be a better marksman than Artemis the swift and sleek.  Tell me Calchas, what does wise Artemis ask in return?,Äô

   Calchas quivered in the hips as he said, ,ÄòOnly your first born daughter Iphigenia, sacrificed on an alter, the fat from her thighs burned in respect.,Äô

   ,ÄòAch,,Äô said Agamemnon.  ,ÄòGag.  That I cannot do.  Calchas, you sweet bitch, who speaks with the gods, tell me which other god is it who is pissed with me?,Äô

   Calchas said, ,ÄòIt is the truth Agamemnon son of  Atreus that beautiful and nubile Aphrodite is angered with you because she heard you vowed to sacrifice the most beautiful treasure in your life in exchange for victory against the little Trojan shits.,Äô

   Agamemnon said ,ÄòAw fer fu-.  Mmm.  It,Äôs true.  I did vow to sacrifice the most beautiful treasure in my life in exchange for victory against the little Trojan shits.  Tell me Calchas, what does wise Aphrodite ask in return?,Äô

   Calchas shivered in the groin as he said, ,ÄòOnly your wife Clytemnestra, sacrificed on an alter, the fat from her thighs burned in respect.,Äô

   ,ÄòFeh,,Äô said Agamemnon.  ,ÄòGak.  That I cannot do.  Calchas, you sweet bitch, who speaks with the gods, tell me which other god is it who is pissed with me?,Äô

   Calchas said, ,ÄòIt is the truth Agamemnon son of  Atreus that Zeus lord of the sky, had sent an omen to you of two young studly eagles meant to represent the Atridae, which tore to pieces a pregnant hare.  White-armed Here, big mama of all the heavens and gueen of all the mothers was beyond pissed.,Äô

   Agamemnon said ,ÄòGreat Googly Moogly!  Grr.  It,Äôs true.  Zeus did send an omen of two young studly eagles meant to represent the Atridae, which tore to pieces a pregnant hare.  Tell me Calchas, what does wise Here ask in return?,Äô

   Calchas jiggled in the gizzard as he said, ,ÄòOnly all your children, sacrificed on an alter, the fat from their thighs burned in respect.,Äô

   ,ÄòBah!,Äô said Agamemnon.  ,ÄòYuk.  That I cannot do.  Calchas, you sweet bitch, who speaks with the gods, tell me which other god is it who is pissed with me?,Äô

   Calchas said, ,ÄòIt is the truth Agamemnon son of  Atreus that flashing-eyed Pallas Athene, unsleeping daughter of Big Daddy Zeus was offended by your father Atreus.  He vowed to sacrifice a lamb to aegis-bearing Athene in exchange for success in battle, this he did not do.,Äô

   Agamemnon said ,ÄòMother fuck!  Mmm.  It,Äôs true.  My father was a complete dipshit, he did stuff like that all the time, one time he promised me half of Caledon- aw fuck it . . .  Tell me Calchas, what does wise Pallas Athene ask in return?,Äô

   Calchas trembled in the pancreas as he said, ,ÄòOnly all your only son Orestes, sacrificed on an alter, the fat from their thighs burned in respect.,Äô

   ,ÄòHomina homina homina,Äô said Agamemnon.  ,ÄòRetch.  That I cannot do.  Calchas, you sweet slut, who speaks with the gods, tell me which is the last god who is pissed with me?,Äô

   Calchas said, ,ÄòIt is the truth Agamemnon son of  Atreus that Eris also called Strife is offended by your feeding of hot dogs to your troops.  Her only sustenance when she went into self-imposed exile after THE SNUB was the hot dog bun, it is an affront to the goddess of Discord and she smites you in bitter and somewhat petty retaliation.  It,Äôs boring on Mt. Olympus.,Äô

   Agamemnon said ,ÄòRats.  It,Äôs true.  I feed my soldiers Armor Hot Dogs, they,Äôre the dogs long-haired Achaeans love to bite.  Tell me Calchas, what does wise Eris ask in return?,Äô

   Calchas twitched in the pineal gland as he said, ,ÄòOnly all the soldier,Äôs hot dog buns, torched on an alter, in respect.,Äô

   ,ÄòUh uh.,Äô said Agamemnon.  ,ÄòNo way.  That I cannot do.  They would eat me alive.  Besides, it is never that easy.,Äô

   Agamemnon pondered all the gods requests and wondered which would be the least disastrous for him.  The easiest in the eyes of a misogynist bronze era Greek was obviously the sacrifice of his eldest daughter Iphigenia, but once she was dead and cut up for sacrifice Agamemnon and Calchas realized they had no kindling.  The only thing flammable to start the pyre was the hot dog buns.

   Agamemnon broke his scepter across his knee, ,ÄòThis is ridiculous!  I promised my soldiers those buns, but if I must, I must . . . burn the buns, Calchas.,Äô

   The moment Calchas lit the buns the wind began to change.  Agamemnon felt sick, and tried to convince himself that the fat of Iphigenia,Äôs thighs was already starting to burn, but he knew in his heart the truth. Despite that, he turned to Calchas ,ÄòA cheer for swift and sleek Artemis who granted muh-mercy on the long-haired Achaeans.,Äô

   A loud cackle from high above startled Agamemnon and Calchas as they toasted, but neither of them asked from whence it came.



The moral of this story?  Don,Äôt over complicate things!

Hail Eris.

Hey Roger,

I know you probably don't give a shit what I think, but I quite enjoyed it, you have a good "I'm-telling-this-to-you-over-a-few-too-many-drinks-in-a backwater-jukejoint" style that flows nicely and is quite witty.  

I can see where the comparison to F.A.L.I.L.V. comes from, but I don't by any means think it is you trying to cop Hunter's content or style, I think just having two men driving through the desert (one being named only by his legal proffesion) is bound to make comparisons.  Also, the vague threat given to the hitch-hiker is slightly similar, but beyond that there is no similarity whatsoever.

I once wrote a story about an aging writer driving through the desert by himself fleeing from imaginary government agents and was accused by people I knew of copping HST, so I know the pain.  For a while men in cars in the desert are going to draw the comparison, sad to say.

For the record, I really like Hell's Angels, although I've only read it once eight years ago.  I love Fear and Loathing, both in Las Vegas and on the Campaign Trail.  Most of his 70's writing is really good, but I find his more recent writing incoherent.

Anyway, I look forward to reading the rest.

ZEET!

I see no Satanists on the list.


And I go with gnimbley on this one.  Sonny Liston?

If #58 Shirley Temple wasn't a Satanist, I'll eat my hat.

You know what.Fuck a bunch of hippies.the Hippies in the sixties had a chance to actually change the world to the better,and what did they do:
THEY SOLD OUT!
In the sixties they(the hippies)  promoted sex drugs rock-n-roll. They promoted and end to the establisment.Some of them dropped out of society to move to Vermont and other places with no niggas and let the jocks and preps take over(Bush,Chaney,etc).
In the seventies after 'Nam they did shit loads of coke and went to studio 54 and became materialistic.
In the eighties they became yuppies,voted for Reagan and Bush,and became even more materialistic. They started to become the very Establishment they once fought.
In the Nineties they decided to grab as much cash as humanly possible,and solidify their power.
In the new millenium,they found Jebus and are making sure that we don't do to them what they tried to do to the Establishment in the 60's.

I agree with TCT. Fuck a bunch of  DIRTY STINKING PATCHOULI-WEARING, UNSHAVEN, LICE-RIDDED HIPPIE BASTARDS.
You sold out on the Dream. You bastard(and i'm talking about the real hippies from the 60's,not the crusty gutterpunk wannabe hippies of today,who aren't much better.)

The Sixties officially died in August
99 in Rome,New York. Went up in flames at the hands of the NEXT GEN who was offended by the "hippies" charging 8 bucks for a bottle of water.  Metallica,Megadeth,Red Hot Chili Peppers(you know,real cool bands,not the shitty Greatful Dead/Phish bullcrap) provided the funeral dirge for the 60's.
I for one,am glad they did.

::claps wildly::

Not all Canadians are to be trifled with:
Actually if you are Border Patrol you trifle with them, you take their bloody chainsaw, and then you let them continue on into the U.S.  

Thanks Homeland Security!!!!  We surely our safe and sound in your hands!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/06/07/border.crossing.ap/

What have we learned?  NEVER FUCK WITH A CANADIAN CARRYING A CHAINSAW.

Seriously, though, has anyone ever seen a more bizarre mugshot?  How did people in his town not know he was a looney?

[with long red goatees]

D&D playing twerps, with long red goatees . . .

Always first on my lists...

You get the twerps, I get the reheads with goatees, fair enough?

Deal.

Don't forget the ginger pubes!

GOOD LORD how can anyone forget the ginger pubes?!?