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Messages - Doktor Howl

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Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: Yesterday at 02:25:21 am »
Um, sort of?

Either you did or you didn't.

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: Yesterday at 01:20:15 am »
Holy damn, thatís legendary incompetence. Every single person involved has to be both fucking up on a colossal scale AND unaware of how bad everyone else is fucking up.

Or they're just sucking up a fat government contract.

Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court
« on: Yesterday at 01:19:33 am »
I seriously can't believe this, I found the most beautiful woman I've ever SEEN in my life (entirely by chance), and she's smart, quirky, open-minded, low-drama, has all the problems I do so she can easily identify, and she wants to talk all day every day and doesn't get tired of me. The cynical side of me thinks this is just a sick joke to humble me further, but the stubborn part of me wants to believe this foul-mouthed Jamaican skate punk speed-cubing woman is a gift from god...

It's been weeks of constant communication. She knows I'm smitten and it doesn't bother her. She likes to tease and be lewd. I recognize that a relationship could become an impossibility if she finds a dude she really likes, but I really don't mind, she's a good person at heart and would make an excellent friend, if nothing else.

Jesus H Christ, have you asked her out?

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: September 19, 2019, 10:06:57 pm »
BTW, Wackenhut are now owned by G4S, aka "the group competing with Serco to be the mose useless security company in the world".

Oh, yeah, those fucking guys.  They kind of have a standing want ad for background investigators, but their "interview software" doesn't work, so they have never hired anyone and their HR people have apparently never noticed.

It's kind of a running joke in Arizona.

Aneristic Illusions / Re: General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread
« on: September 19, 2019, 10:05:07 pm »
CNN: Trump revokes waiver for California to set higher auto emissions standards.
 :horrormirth: I've been expecting this because OF COURSE, in his long vendetta against my state and the smash and grab capitalism he's busy aggressively enabling.

Of course he did.  :crankey:

Aneristic Illusions / Re: UK General Election 8th June: Shake it all about?
« on: September 19, 2019, 07:41:58 pm »
"A Honda full of wormholes."  Got it.


Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: September 19, 2019, 07:41:18 pm »
your job is always an adventure, isn't it? :lulz:

I have chosen a bizarre career arc.

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: September 19, 2019, 07:40:23 pm »
I am bumping this thread, and RE-prophecizing that the next, bigger crash will happen before the new year.  Probably in November.

The problems will be:

1.  Same banking fuckery as 2008, only BIGGER,
2.  Brexit fucking 6% of the world's trade in less than one minute, and
3.  Idiot protectionist nationalists try to keep above water by slapping more and more trade restrictions down.
Welp, guess I better get on that job hunt/english credential test a little more seriously. I'll be teaching core subjects so that makes me less likely to get axed buuut even we're not immune. fuck.

And i guess i'll be making my first venture into stocks, if you're serious.

CCA and Wackenhutt will be big winners, if you don't care about evil.

RPG Ghetto / Re: I am the new guy
« on: September 19, 2019, 02:10:30 am »
Wear a hard hat, I am not even joking, these guys exist to shit on you.


That's a bot, dude.


« on: September 19, 2019, 01:38:21 am »

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: September 19, 2019, 01:37:46 am »
Stocks will rebound.

I mean, if they don't then no financial planning matters.

Bonds are poison, stay the hell away from them until after the smoke clears from the crater.

Odds are that Canada will do better than the USA, for the same reason as last time (Canadian banks are very conservative when it comes to financial fuckery), but Canada will - as last time - take a pretty good hit all the same.  Think in terms of the difference between "disaster" and "apocalypse."

Okay.  I'll clean out my bond ETF, reduce my exposure to USD, and get rid of that one stock in a sector that everybody pretends is a good idea, but I suspect no one actually understands.  I'll let everything else ride through.  Coca-Cola ain't going bankrupt any time soon.

Neither is Raytheon.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: September 19, 2019, 01:18:32 am »
How can you be an IDEALIST in ARMS MANUFACTURING? Doug cannot last as he is, he will die or be transformed, Tetsuo The Iron Man style. Itís just the facts.

I am an idealist. 

It's just that my ideals are bad.

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: September 18, 2019, 11:56:58 pm »
I have heard that shit before, falling out of someoneís face, in real life.

Come to think of it, that was the same day they fired me for having piercings :lulz:

I convinced my father to stop waiting and sell his old house based on hearing educated people say that with a straight face.

Apple Talk / Re: Another TGRR prophecy comes true.
« on: September 18, 2019, 10:55:56 pm »
To fill the Honda with, of course


If there's ever a time for FC memes, it's now.

There will never be a time when at least 5 FC memes don't apply.

Like a motorcycle stuck in the mud.

It's a new paradigm, and everybody who doesn't buy, now, will be priced out forever. Anybody who does buy will be rewarded with a lifetime of riches, as their motorcycle will continue its 30% yearly price increase.

Renters, and anybody born in a future generation, will not be able to afford a $15,000,000 starter motorcycle in 15 years. They will live in tent cities, and Hondas.

This asset bubble is different than all of the others - it will never slow down, or pop. The gains are permanent.

The gains are permanent. 

That is the gold I was waiting for.

Apple Talk / Re: The Compleat Billy Chronicles (thanks to Zenpatista)
« on: September 18, 2019, 10:53:24 pm »
Today, I was randomly assigned to the marketing group for "fresh ideas."

Clayton:  "Our new product is clearly superior to the existing products, but the market is saturated with older product.  We need ways to penetrate that market."

Doug:  "I wrote a new vision statement..."

Me:  "Shut up, Doug."

Clayton:  "Yes.  Shut up.  We are not here to write business plans or vision statements, we are here to come up with WAYS. TO MOVE. PRODUCT.  So instead of whatever Dilbert crap you have floating in your head, give me things that will actually get people to sit up and take notice."

Me:  "You can stab your enemies from 700 miles away."

Clayton:  "That might be a BIT aggressive."

Me:  "You obviously don't have the same kind of enemies I have."

Clayton:  "You're right, I don't.  That's sick."

Me:  "Our clients DO.  If I was selling to you, I'd say 'the best deterrent since the MIRV', but I am selling to people who think like me."

Doug:  "That's sick.""

Melissa:  "That is pretty sick."

Me:  "Have you people looked at what we DO for a living?  How about 'Make your enemies wake up deader,' or 'Your enemies won't wake up *anything*'?  If you want *healthy*, why are you even in this business?  We are not healthy people and we are not making a healthy product." 

Melissa:  "Or how about 'And nobody ever heard anything out of your rival's fat mouth ever again'?"

Me:  "See, that's what I'm saying.  This is a sick product for a sick time on a sick planet, and we should own that."

Melissa:  "...a sick product for sick people.  I can work with this."

Clayton:  "We can't call our clients sick."

Melissa:  "Not in so many words, no.  But if you give me a couple of days, I can say the same thing in a way that makes them want to be even sicker."

Clayton:  "Go with that."

Doug:  "..."

Me:  "We're not the good guys, Doug."

Doug:  "..."

Me:  "This is all normal, Doug."

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