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Topics - Cainad (dec.)

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Literate Chaotic / Don't Break The Chain
« on: January 30, 2015, 04:32:23 am »
So I recently learned that there's this thing called "Don't Break The Chain"

I ignored most of the details but the gist of it is that you make one tiny little bit of creativity every day, and try to not miss a day.

This bit of creativity can be anything, but obviously an Internet forum is best suited to writing. And whatever you make can be really, really small. If you're writing, it can be a sentence. It doesn't have to be good in the slightest, or related to whatever you made the previous day.

I'd like people to start using this thread to post the Links in their Chain, as it were. If something causes inspiration and you'd like to expand on something, make a new topic and link back to the post in this thread.

Apple Talk / Big Government is bad! Government overreach is bad!
« on: December 04, 2014, 12:37:17 pm »
Except for the guys who can actually bust into your house and/or kill you if they have a good enough story for the judge and jury.

I'm going to try re-framing the discussion about police brutality by referring to cops as the government. Because, you know, they are.

Since government is terrible and badwrong about everything, this should provide "interesting discussion" on the center of reasonable discussion that is Facebook.

Apple Talk / A S'more By Any Other Name
« on: July 23, 2014, 09:18:32 pm »
The local grocery store chain has put the ingredients for s'mores on sale for most of the summer. These items are usually placed right next to each other, so that your tiny consumer pea-brain will quickly put the puzzle together and realize that yes, you are an easily-manipulated glucose-burning protein engine and are conditioned to desire things rich in simple carbohydrates.

What I'm trying to say is that I live alone and I impulse-bought a box of graham crackers, a bag of marshmallows, and a package of the sugary soft wax that most will recognize as Hershey's chocolate.

July the Twenty-Second, Year Two-Thousand and Fourteen:

I do not believe that my landlord would approve of my lighting even a small bonfire in the backyard. Even if I did, it would only highlight the fact that I purchased these items without any plans to share them. (For those unfamiliar with s'mores, I should clarify that the items used to make them are only generally available in large packages and are traditionally consumed at summer gatherings).

I also do not wish to use the microwave oven, as that would require me to go downstairs and possibly interact with the other people in the house. They wouldn't understand.

No, they would understand all to well and think themselves superior for not succumbing to the same circumstances which ensnared me in the grocery store. In the absence of dignity, discretion will suffice.

I have elected to roast the marshmallows over a candle, using a fork.

I have eaten three s'mores this night. I can't recall what I actually had for dinner.

July the Twenty-Third, Year Two-Thousand and Fourteen:

I have eaten another s'more upon getting home from work. There is a second marshmallow skewered on the fork, ready to be melted and applied to the other ingredients I have set out on the plate.

I suspect that the mere notion of having control over one's life may be the greatest of humankind's vanities. My fifth s'more in two days lies just on the edge of the Future, and I shall soon find myself reaching past that edge and tumbling into the Abyss of all meaning.

Charismatic cults rely on the leadership of, surprise, a charismatic leader who finds ways to keep their congregation close and intact. Discordianism has no leaders and retains its congregation by being such assholes that people can't help themselves but to stick around and show them all.

Cults discourage critical thinking. Discordians self-flagellate if they fail to criticize Discordianism.

Cults isolate members from their families and the rest of society by providing an appearance of being a safe, nurturing community. Discordianism routinely and vehemently encourages you to FUCK OFF.

I'm in a hurry so this post has no real conclusion, also because fuck you.

Apple Talk / The only music you'll ever need from now on...
« on: February 11, 2014, 12:15:06 am »
...because you'll have gone deaf after this FUCKING MASTERPIECE:

(it's an orchestra played entirely by people who are using instruments they don't know how to use)

Or Kill Me / It's not Wrong when I do it
« on: January 16, 2014, 01:12:19 am »
It has been discussed at great length whether or not it is acceptable for members of oppressed or underprivileged groups to make statements about privileged groups that would normally be considered offensive or simply rude.

Typically, this takes the form of "fuck [straight/white/cisgendered/male] people" or some variety thereof, followed by a lengthy explanation about why such statements are dangerous from the privileged, but harmless from the oppressed. I fully accept and acknowledge that hate speech, or even merely callous speech, from the privileged creates a more toxic environment and leads to vastly greater harm in the grand scheme. Frankly, I don't gave a shit if a couple of pissants want to say shitty things about the various demographic categories I belong to. My skin is thicker than that.

However, there is a very sinister problem behind this kind of thinking. When you say "it doesn't matter if I say these things," what are you really saying?

You are claiming that your hurtful-sounding words are not actually hurtful. You are claiming that your words do not affect your environment in a meaningful way.

You are affirming, even celebrating, your own powerlessness.

This is a form of surrender.

Literate Chaotic / Malazan: Book of the Fallen part one thread
« on: January 16, 2014, 12:33:29 am »
So, something like six goddamn MONTHS after I said I would finish Gardens of the Moon "by next week" I finally actually finished it. Because I am a huge dork with the attention span of the Internet.

Honestly, once I hit the last third of the book it was much easier to finish. As is typical of big fantasy stories like this, all of the 537 characters had to be introduced and developed, and then all of the really cool stuff starts happening. It manages to end in a way that feels like a proper ending while still getting me interested in the sequel.

Naturally, I want to draw parallels with Bakker's Prince of Nothing trilogy, but really there are not many to be drawn, other than a lot of the very basic tropes that make up most fantasy series. Erikson's writing style is very different from Bakker's; much more direct and focused on the events of the story than on the twisted meanderings of the character's inner thoughts. A hell of a lot less overwrought prose, which makes it either more readable or less interesting, depending on one's tastes and mood.

In any case, I'm glad I finally got around to reading it. Looking forward to crawling my way through the rest of the series, hopefully at a slightly faster pace.

Think for Yourself, Schmuck! / "But So-and-so wouldn't lie to me!"
« on: October 04, 2013, 03:38:17 pm »
What you say: "I know you think X is true, but X is actually not true."

What they hear: "The person who told you that X is true lied to you. They're a lying liar who is filling your head with lies."

What they reply: "No way, X is definitely true, how dare you!"

The challenge: What techniques can be employed to get around this response?

« on: September 25, 2013, 07:54:47 pm »

Okay so in every other category I'm sure this map/article is totally biased and bullshit in every other category, especially for whichever states you like the most, but in this ONE RESPECT the facts are unassailable:

Massachusetts has the worst drivers in the country.

I, for one, would greatly appreciate it if LMNO would stop strutting around the sidewalks looking that goddamn fabulous and distracting all the drivers with his irresistible swagger. It's a public hazard.

Apple Talk / Deliberate Power Outages in Detroit
« on: September 21, 2013, 10:56:34 pm »

Story is over a week old, but other than the Fox Detroit site, the story doesn't seem to be on mainstream news at all.

Power was shut off to "send a strong message" to customers who weren't reducing their energy use fast enough. In 90-degree heat, without warning to anyone.

Literate Chaotic / Transfer
« on: July 23, 2013, 11:44:36 pm »
Part One

"No, we can't give you another weekend off, Terry. They're suspicious enough as it is. Two chapters of their little organization have already resequestered themselves after our people followed up on your initial leads. There's no way they can know what you are, but they're not stupid. They know something's up."

My boss speaking, there. He doesn't get it, he can't possibly get it. Fucking spook.

Heathen. Betrayer of the Truth.

No, no, no, no!

"Listen, please. Just a day, half a day even. I'm slipping, and that freak is probably fucking up my wiring while I'm in here. It's been three fucking months, boss. I know for a fact that no one has been in for that long. The Conditioning was never meant to prepare us for this."

"The answer is still no, Terry. You're fine, you're just under a lot of stress. I understand how uncomfortable it must be in there with those weirdos,"

Getting more comfortable every day, god damn it. That's the problem.

"...But no one is more qualified. Even our agents with more field experience don't come anywhere near the level of compatibility you have with this subject. You've done a lot of good work already, but we need more time. I'll see to it you get double the standard leave once the job is done, sound good?"

Double time off... that does sound good. Maybe take the time to travel abroad.

Start a new chapter... No!

I let out a sigh, because I can't scream over the phone while I'm here.

"Okay... but look, even if I can't take a resting period, can I at least come in for a visit? Even just for five minutes."

A pause.

"A visit? You mean, like, just look at him for a bit?"

Look at who for a bit?

"Yeah, just a few minutes. I... I think I've got enough insight now to ask a few questions, might actually get somewhere this time."

Another pause. He knows I'm full of shit, but the request is so pitiful that he can't help but consider it. Big softie.

"Alright. Fine, we'll arrange a visit. See you tomorrow."


Apple Talk / Dear Mr. Nephew Twiddleton
« on: July 20, 2013, 07:02:33 pm »
We hope this letter finds you well. We are writing to you regarding a certain Doktor Blight, who recently left several possessions in our care, with instruction to refer matters of his estate to you. More precisely, a shipping container was dropped off in our office parking lot in the middle of the night with a sticky note on the door which reads:

"Pls. direct all questions and concerns to Nephew Twiddleton. It's his mess to deal with now. -Dktr. Blight"

Note that we have no record or indication of Doktor Blight's current whereabouts or state of being; we are assuming that he has either passed or elaborately faked his own death to pawn off certain matters of interest onto you. The details are not our business, and we leave it to you to figure out specifics of the situation.

The container itself appears to be on lease from a nearby shipping company, so we advise that you deal with the contents as quickly as possible so the container can be returned. The contents that we have been able to inventory thus far are:

  • One (1) copy of the "D" volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica
  • One (1) burlap sack containing what appear to be several high-quality theatrical wigs in a variety of colors and styles
  • Several grams of silvery metallic pellets in an unlabeled ziploc bag
  • An assortment of optical glass lenses, carefully packed in foam
  • Four (4) Singer brand sewing machines
  • Two (2) wooden crates secured shut with heavy steel wire
  • Several locked filing cabinets

An overwhelming odor began wafting from the back of the container after the first few minutes of searching and logging the contents, so the remainder will be up to you to identify. Please respond ASAP.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Legal Firm

Apple Talk / Dear Mr. The Doktor Howl:
« on: July 20, 2013, 05:25:49 pm »
While your proposal is creative, we regret to inform you that our company will be unable to assist you in your "topograhical reassignment" of the greater Washington DC area. Your proposed designs to use our drilling and hydrofracturing technologies to create a series of small-scale earthquakes that would spell out the entire First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States in the form of miniature mountain ranges is, unfortunately, not in line with our company's mission.

We should point out that, if we are reading your charts correctly, your plans require exploiting fault zones that are deeper than any such faults that have been mapped previously. As we do not have access to, nor have ever heard of, the proposed "HIMEOBS-grade drilling apparatus" you refer to on page 13, we could not reach these fault zones even if we were assured of their presence.

Additionally, we have found no records of the credentials, or even the existence, of your recommended "on-site supervisory experts." We have been unable to locate the people you refer to on page 24 as "Signor Richtedor" and "ECH Consulting, LLC."

In summary, we are sorry that we cannot help you in achieving your goals. We wish you the best of luck in all future endeavors.

TerraTech Industries, Inc.

Apple Talk / I think you all just need help being a little more...
« on: June 20, 2013, 08:33:42 pm »

^Watch it. You need this shit.

Apple Talk / The Poet of Bad Advice
« on: May 21, 2013, 09:21:27 pm »

Unwanted Attention

Sent by brynndragon:

    Guys who are obviously incompatible with me keep messaging me on OKC. How do I make them stop?

If you keep on getting poked
by matches made in Hades
Jocks and bros of middle age
who canít relate to ladies
Take the one who messaged last
Save his profile photo
Set it as your profile pic
and ask whose place to go to.

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