Micro Fiction

[Dimocritus]

The final for my readings in short stories class is to write a peice of "Micro-Fiction," a story running from 300 to 500 words. I am not a big fan of the format, as I am quite fond of words. So, this is what I came up with. It's pretty terrible, and I figured I'd share the fail  with everyone. Enjoy!

A Moment of Absurdism on a Fictional Oceanfront at Sunset Shared by Multiple Personalities for the Purposes of Higher Education, Introspection, and Subversivism
By [name] and his imaginary friend.

   "So, what do we do now?"
   "Good question."
   The sun was going down, a good indicator that we were running out of time. The sunset was a rich ruby-red color peppered with scattered clouds which diffused the light, softening the crimson hues. Of course, neither of us paid it any attention, with the important matter at hand monopolizing our focus.
   "Y'know, we don't have to do anything."
   "I know. But..."
   "But nothing. Fuck it. I'm going home. I need a nap."
   "You shouldn't use language like that, y'know. We are in a school paper, after all. Maybe you should try being a bit more scholarly. No one wants to hear that."
   "Fuck scholarly. I have shit to do. I can't be waiting here all night for this story to bring itself together. I'm gonna go get high. See what they think of that." I took a deep breath. "Don't talk to me about scholarly, anyway. You're the one breaking the fourth wall."
   "Hrmm."
   I thought to myself for a moment, scrunching my face a bit to indicate to the rest of this imaginary world that I was, quite deliberately, deep in thought.
   "Well." I said, "The thing is, with such a limited amount of space, any intended meaning would be, more or less, lost anyway. At that point it's up to the reader to assign meaning."
   "So, like that time we replaced the sacrament with cookies and milk? Maybe I'm not getting it."
                      "Well, I guess I'm saying that we could just fudge the whole thing."
   "I dunno. Don't you think that's a bit risky? Isn't this a final?"
   "It beats not doing anything at all, like you suggested."
   "I suppose..."
   I scanned the ocean front walkway for passer-by's. There were none. I retrieved a clumsy number I had rolled up earlier this afternoon and sparked the end. I pulled a few solid hits off of it and passed it to me. I stared at the ocean, which retained it's murky green-ness while absorbing the color of the sky above, which was slowly being drained of its shades as night creeped its way towards us, unnoticed, like a well trained pickpocket brushes up against a victim in a crowd. I passed the joint back to me.
   "So. You're saying that it doesn't even need to have a point?"
   "Well, not really. It just needs to contain elements that could be interpreted as some sort of moral, or meaning."
   "Interesting... How many words do we have left?"
   "Hrmm, lemme see here... About a hundred. Although, we could call it quits right now. We have the minimum requirement."
   I could tell by the look on my face what I was thinking. I was never really satisfied with the minimum requirement. I took another hit and passed it, not looking away from the ocean. I wasn't really looking at it, it was more like looking passed it, or through it. Beyond it to the stars on the other side of the planet.
   "Alright, well, whatever you want to do is fine," I coughed between hits, "I do have to go, though." I stood and retrieved my jacket from off the back of the bench.
   "Alright. I'll get on it. I'll let you know how it works out."
   "Okay. Hopefully they won't notice that it's all bullshit."
   "I wouldn't count on it. Shit..."
   "What is it?"
   "We just went over by fifty-eight words..."
   "Fuck..."

[LMNO]

Delightfully meta.  And only midly cliche, as well.  I give you a B+.  Higher marks could have been achieved via multi-leveled metaphor and increased vividity of description.

[MMIX]

Mittens - it seemed inappropriate to reduce my praise to a single commonplace image . . .

[Dimocritus]

Delightfully meta.  And only midly cliche, as well.  I give you a B+.  Higher marks could have been achieved via multi-leveled metaphor and increased vividity of description.

Increased vividity of description was hampered by the arbitrary word limit. Multi-leveled metaphor? 'Splain please.

Also, I have an hour or so to do changes, so if anyone has any ideas on how to improve this mess, lemme know!

[LMNO]

Well, the essay could be summed up as:

I thought to myself, "how can I write this?"

Then I thought, "by writing about this."


You do throw in a Lo5 reference, though, which could have been poked at.  But to be honest, there's not enough connection between the text and the reader to make the "interpretation of the moral", as you put it.


That is to say, while it is good enough to make me say, "ah, clever," there isn't enough to make me say, "this could very well be a parallel or comparison to ___".



It's Beckett without the Existentialism, if you will.

[Dimocritus]

Hrm. I see. But, wouldn't the obvious lack of a "moral" have the potential to make the reader attempt to dissect the text to find the nonexistent connections to some "moral?" Please do correct me if I am wrong. (TBH, any real moral I could have included would be forced, I'm not really all that "in to" the assignment)

Also, what was the Lo5 refference?

[LMNO]

Lo5: "At that point it's up to the reader to assign meaning."


And yes, to intentionally impose a hidden moral would be obvious.  The reason writing this kind of stuff is so difficult is that you have to lay out a larger implied context where comparisons could be made. 

The reason an ambiguous moral can't be constructed in your piece is that you haven't placed enough references and touchstones in it for people to grab onto.  The characters are getting high on a minimally described beach, discussing the story they are in.  There aren't enough loose threads to tie together.

Perhaps a Noodle Incident reference, or an unexplained joke, or a memory of a previous dream or dinner date could be used to give the reader a jumping-off point.

[LMNO]

Example:


"Do you still think about her?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter," I responded.  "She'd never forgive me."  I stood up, and made an obvious pose.  "The last four years didn't mean anything."

[Dimocritus]

Example:


"Do you still think about her?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter," I responded.  "She'd never forgive me."  I stood up, and made an obvious pose.  "The last four years didn't mean anything."


Ah, thanks. I was just going to ask for an example. I dig the idea of the noodle incident, let me see if I can come up with something. How could I tailor it to force readers into making connections that aren't there?

[LMNO]

Make it tantalizing.  Make it an emotional trigger, but don't resolve it.

in the above, I talked about a failed relationship, and unforgiveness.  The why and the how are never brought up; the reader creates the story.  And saying nothing happens relates it back to the story, how nothing is happenning in the story, but the story fails, because it went 48 words too long.

[Dimocritus]

Changes made in OP bolded. Am I getting it, or no?

[LMNO]

Personally?  Too outlandish.  But it's the right direction.


Keep in mind that I'm not the one that's going to be grading this. 

[Dimocritus]

Personally?  Too outlandish.  But it's the right direction.


Keep in mind that I'm not the one that's going to be grading this. 

Oh, I know. (TBH, me and the teacher are on a first name basis, and we may be starting a band together, so, really, I'm not too worried about it)

But, time is up. It is what it is. Thanks for the help.

[Suu]

I still give an A for trolling the purpose of the project.