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The Elusive Velociturkey

Started by Suu, October 13, 2011, 03:01:32 AM

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Suu

October 13, 2011, 03:01:32 AM
No really...this is fucking creepy, especially when she gets in her car.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2doG1XmR4w

Though I'm pretty sure that anyone in the Northeast can tell you that wild turkeys are fucking vicious.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Richter

#1
October 13, 2011, 03:05:11 AM
1. Don't act like food.  You'll get shit from the damn squirrels acting like that.
2. Turkeys will hurt you.  My cousins kept a stick around for smacking the shit out of them when they got uppity, which worked out for them.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Suu

#2
October 13, 2011, 03:27:54 AM
I watched a swan chase my brother for about a half mile once. Seriously, a fucking swan. Gracefully white, pristine, ass-up out of the water, swan.

He came home and got a bb gun to scare it off...which didn't work. Fucker circled the yard for a good hour. I was laughing my ass off, but my brother was scared shitless. 

We also used to have problems with great blue herons in Florida. They would get into our screened in pool by OPENING THE FUCKING DOOR and coming up to the house to look inside the glass room. Those fuckers are like...4 ft tall and they STARE. They know what you're thinking, I swear.

And people still question dinosaurs evolving into birds. Christ.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Triple Zero

#4
October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

#5
October 13, 2011, 01:23:36 PM
There's a reason Ben Franklin wanted our national bird to be the turkey.

Suu

#6
October 13, 2011, 02:37:51 PM Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 02:44:08 PM by Suu
Isn't it the Massachusetts state bird? Rhode Island has a fucking endangered chicken.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
October 13, 2011, 05:27:15 PM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:

Totally! :lol: Also, the screaming and panicking seemed disproportionate to the actual threat of being followed by a large amorous turkey.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Doktor Howl

#8
October 13, 2011, 05:30:57 PM
GIVE THE TURKEY TO ME
Molon Lube

Freeky

#9
October 13, 2011, 05:33:15 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on October 13, 2011, 05:30:57 PM
GIVE THE TURKEY TO ME

WE WILL MAKE IT BETTER!

Payne

#10
October 14, 2011, 06:32:27 AM
Quote from: Triple Zero on October 13, 2011, 08:12:12 AM
Did you notice the heavy breathing after she ran, like, 20 feet? :lol:

Fear response. Plus she might be holding more equipment and shit than you'd think.

Also, I would eat that turkey, right in its face.I would stone it to death with cranberries and throw it down my pie hole like it weren't no thang.

navkat

#11
October 18, 2011, 05:47:27 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.

I have truly grown to love and cherish you, Nigel. You always say what I'm thinking.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
October 21, 2011, 07:14:06 PM
Quote from: navkat on October 18, 2011, 05:47:27 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 13, 2011, 05:41:28 AM
hahahahaha

Did you see his tail feathers? That turkey wanted more from her than just a handshake, if you know what I mean.

I have truly grown to love and cherish you, Nigel. You always say what I'm thinking.

:)
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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